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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by MrsRivera
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
you're not black or Jewish, so I wouldn't expect you to understand
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what continues to perpetuate the cycle of inequality. It's always got to be "you wouldn't understand because you're not (insert self-segregaged group here).
Just goes to show you, even in an online "community", there's always someone who has to play the race card...or the religion card.
think whatever you want. a spade is a spade
how can someone who is NOT a minority even pretend to understand
Message edited 10/17/2007 4:45:07 PM.
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Posted 10/17/07 4:44 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by mommy2bella
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
you're not black or Jewish, so I wouldn't expect you to understand
just the kind of comment that makes a healthy debate an ignorant one.
sorry, my apologies. what she said p*ssed me off b/c I know many HAPPY married people who met on Jdate and I for one amd VERY glad that site was created.
some people WANT to stick with their own kind.
live and let live. why judge??!
have you read or understood ANY of the postings?
the whole POINT of this debate is that while Jdate can flourish and can "stick with their own kind" without issue, a white christian site could not exist WITHOUT issue.
that is the point. I am so happy for your friends. but who cares!
jdate is not only for white Jews 
dude seriously, your non-issue "points" are doing nothing for the discussion.
bring something real, with merit, to the table.
perhaps tell me right now how many non white jews are currently on Jdate versus how many white jews are...try that.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:45 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by MrsRivera
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
you're not black or Jewish, so I wouldn't expect you to understand
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what continues to perpetuate the cycle of inequality. It's always got to be "you wouldn't understand because you're not (insert self-segregaged group here).
Just goes to show you, even in an online "community", there's always someone who has to play the race card...or the religion card.
think whatever you want. a spade is a spade
how can someone who is NOT a minority even pretend to understand
Give me a break you wouldn't understand cause you don't have blonde hair/blue eyes/you are a size 2 etc etc etc.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:46 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Shelly
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Shelly
As I said above, I have nothing against whitedatersonly.com But why can groups exclude others (Blacksingles.com) and not whites without causing an uproar- its because it is my opinion that if something if a race is not specified, the majority of people will assume its for white people.
then the assumption is the problem. b/c no where in match.com or eharmony or any of those sites is their any kind of solicitation for white christians only.
perhaps if JDate and blacksingles did not exist, there would be more intermingling and free thinking.
perhaps there'd be more jewish choices on match.com if it wasn't for Jdate. perhaps you'd meet a nice anglo boy that would convert for you on match.com....
by holding that assumption, YOu are separating yourself from the options of the majority. willingly. I don't see how that helps the big picture.
I do separate myself from the options of the majority willingly on dating sites (if I ever went on one), and for a very specific reason.
In marriage, I didn't want to search for a nice anglo boy that would convert for me. First off, I don't believe in asking anyone to convert their religion because of me. If someone wants to convert, that's fine. But I don't want to be the reason. I had a teacher who said, one should convert for the love of judaism, not for the love of a jew.
I don't see anything wrong with wanting to marry someone from your own religion or culture. I also don't see anything wrong with people who marry outside their cultural religion or culture.
my point was not to be taken literally.
I am sure there are other jews on all-inclusive websites. you don't need a news only website to find a hubby. BUT if you want one, that is fine. but then EVERY OTHER group in the USA should be able to have an exclusionary website, free of "heat" also.
that is my only point.
I don't think either myself or Shelly (sorry if I'm speaking for you here) disagree with you. Everyone should be treated EQUALLY and allowed the same benefits and organizations, "free of heat". The point is, unfortunately heat will ensue, and that's because we are nowhere even close to understanding or equality.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:46 PM |
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Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by MrsRivera
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
you're not black or Jewish, so I wouldn't expect you to understand
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what continues to perpetuate the cycle of inequality. It's always got to be "you wouldn't understand because you're not (insert self-segregaged group here).
Just goes to show you, even in an online "community", there's always someone who has to play the race card...or the religion card.
think whatever you want. a spade is a spade
how can someone who is NOT a minority even pretend to understand
 How do you know that about her?
eta- I misse dsomething- are black and Jewish the only minorities out there?
That's weird.
Message edited 10/17/2007 4:49:08 PM.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:46 PM |
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Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Ophelia
perhaps tell me right now how many non white jews are currently on Jdate versus how many white jews are...try that.
Or tell me how many Lutherans are on there. 
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:47 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Shelly
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Shelly
As I said above, I have nothing against whitedatersonly.com But why can groups exclude others (Blacksingles.com) and not whites without causing an uproar- its because it is my opinion that if something if a race is not specified, the majority of people will assume its for white people.
then the assumption is the problem. b/c no where in match.com or eharmony or any of those sites is their any kind of solicitation for white christians only.
perhaps if JDate and blacksingles did not exist, there would be more intermingling and free thinking.
perhaps there'd be more jewish choices on match.com if it wasn't for Jdate. perhaps you'd meet a nice anglo boy that would convert for you on match.com....
by holding that assumption, YOu are separating yourself from the options of the majority. willingly. I don't see how that helps the big picture.
I do separate myself from the options of the majority willingly on dating sites (if I ever went on one), and for a very specific reason.
In marriage, I didn't want to search for a nice anglo boy that would convert for me. First off, I don't believe in asking anyone to convert their religion because of me. If someone wants to convert, that's fine. But I don't want to be the reason. I had a teacher who said, one should convert for the love of judaism, not for the love of a jew.
I don't see anything wrong with wanting to marry someone from your own religion or culture. I also don't see anything wrong with people who marry outside their cultural religion or culture.
my point was not to be taken literally.
I am sure there are other jews on all-inclusive websites. you don't need a news only website to find a hubby. BUT if you want one, that is fine. but then EVERY OTHER group in the USA should be able to have an exclusionary website, free of "heat" also.
that is my only point.
I don't think either myself or Shelly (sorry if I'm speaking for you here) disagree with you. Everyone should be treated EQUALLY and allowed the same benefits and organizations, "free of heat". The point is, unfortunately heat will ensue, and that's because we are nowhere even close to understanding or equality.
right.
but Shelly is "justifying" the inequality by saying it's "what white christians get" for being the majority.
which is unfair. and with that attitude, nothing will EVER be equal on any side.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:48 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
think whatever you want. a spade is a spade
how can someone who is NOT a minority even pretend to understand
I couldn't disagree more.
I'm white, and I can certainly understand and relate to discrimination, and that's the drive inherent in me to do my work each and every day. There are plenty of other non-minority employees in my agency who are incredibly committed and, by all appearances, understand. All it takes is an unbringing in an educated and understanding environment, not the same color of skin or religion or national origin.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:48 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: I really have to ask...
How many non jews are on Jdate
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:48 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by mommy2bella
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
you're not black or Jewish, so I wouldn't expect you to understand
just the kind of comment that makes a healthy debate an ignorant one.
sorry, my apologies. what she said p*ssed me off b/c I know many HAPPY married people who met on Jdate and I for one amd VERY glad that site was created.
some people WANT to stick with their own kind.
live and let live. why judge??!
have you read or understood ANY of the postings?
the whole POINT of this debate is that while Jdate can flourish and can "stick with their own kind" without issue, a white christian site could not exist WITHOUT issue.
that is the point. I am so happy for your friends. but who cares!
jdate is not only for white Jews
dude seriously, your non-issue "points" are doing nothing for the discussion.
bring something real, with merit, to the table.
perhaps tell me right now how many non white jews are currently on Jdate versus how many white jews are...try that.
I have no idea, I'm not a member. I can however ask my sister who's meta lot of people to jdate. but there are plenty of Jews who are not white.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:50 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Ophelia
my point was not to be taken literally.
I am sure there are other jews on all-inclusive websites. you don't need a news only website to find a hubby. BUT if you want one, that is fine. but then EVERY OTHER group in the USA should be able to have an exclusionary website, free of "heat" also.
that is my only point.
I do agree with you. There shouldn't be any heat for something like this.
But in reality, the heat will come. Primarily for the reasons that Beth said- the history of the whtie supremicists for using "white" to put down other races.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:51 PM |
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Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
but there are plenty of Jews who are not white.
Right. Our point is, they are still all Jewish. I don't see where Ophelia said they were all white. Maybe I missed that.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:52 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
but there are plenty of Jews who are not white.
Right. Our point is, they are still all Jewish. I don't see where Ophelia said they were all white. Maybe I missed that.
she was making the argument cracking point that Jdate is not "white jdate" while the example I used said "white christians"
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:53 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I really have to ask...
I'm outtie. Gotta go home now and try another shot at conceiving another jewish baby to populate this wonderful planet 
Enjoy your debate ladies, and keep it nice! 
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:53 PM |
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Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Shelly
Posted by Ophelia
my point was not to be taken literally.
I am sure there are other jews on all-inclusive websites. you don't need a news only website to find a hubby. BUT if you want one, that is fine. but then EVERY OTHER group in the USA should be able to have an exclusionary website, free of "heat" also.
that is my only point.
I do agree with you. There shouldn't be any heat for something like this.
But in reality, the heat will come. Primarily for the reasons that Beth said- the history of the whtie supremicists for using "white" to put down other races.
 Agreed. It's a crying shame. Maybe we should start by creating a white organization commited to stoping racism? A thought.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:54 PM |
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bomb-blast
bye bye
Member since 11/06 1327 total posts
Name:
Leo
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Preguntas
Right. Our point is, they are still all Jewish. I don't see where Ophelia said they were all white. Maybe I missed that.
This is precisely why I avoid this board like the plague.
Cheers! 
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:54 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Shelly
Posted by Ophelia
my point was not to be taken literally.
I am sure there are other jews on all-inclusive websites. you don't need a news only website to find a hubby. BUT if you want one, that is fine. but then EVERY OTHER group in the USA should be able to have an exclusionary website, free of "heat" also.
that is my only point.
I do agree with you. There shouldn't be any heat for something like this.
But in reality, the heat will come. Primarily for the reasons that Beth said- the history of the whtie supremicists for using "white" to put down other races.
then we should not allow the heat.
you should not allow the heat.
you can either help society help itself by condemning ALL kinds of discrimination, or you can allow society to perpetuate the problem by excusing it away (even crying wolf on the majority)
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:55 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Ophelia
right.
but Shelly is "justifying" the inequality by saying it's "what white christians get" for being the majority.
which is unfair. and with that attitude, nothing will EVER be equal on any side.
I am not justifying. I don't think it is right. I agree, its unfair. But in the real world, it will happen.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:56 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Bxgell2
I'm outtie. Gotta go home now and try another shot at conceiving another jewish baby to populate this wonderful planet
Enjoy your debate ladies, and keep it nice!
Good luck!!!!! and have FUN!
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:56 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by MrsRivera
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
you're not black or Jewish, so I wouldn't expect you to understand
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what continues to perpetuate the cycle of inequality. It's always got to be "you wouldn't understand because you're not (insert self-segregaged group here).
Just goes to show you, even in an online "community", there's always someone who has to play the race card...or the religion card.
think whatever you want. a spade is a spade
how can someone who is NOT a minority even pretend to understand
In case you hadn't noticed my name, I'm married to a hispanic man. My children will be hispanic. I've felt the effects of discrimination from people I've never met face-to-face, because they assume I'm "minority". I was also offered a job in a high-ranking public school on Long Island because "with a Spanish last name, it'll look good for hiring purposes". I turned the job down, because I don't wish to work with people who perpetuate this cycle of ignorance and unnecessary labels.
So, I have news for you. It goes both ways. You can either marginalize yourself (or your group), or you can see us all as one. But, it looks as though you've already made your decision.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:57 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Shelly
Posted by Ophelia
my point was not to be taken literally.
I am sure there are other jews on all-inclusive websites. you don't need a news only website to find a hubby. BUT if you want one, that is fine. but then EVERY OTHER group in the USA should be able to have an exclusionary website, free of "heat" also.
that is my only point.
I do agree with you. There shouldn't be any heat for something like this.
But in reality, the heat will come. Primarily for the reasons that Beth said- the history of the whtie supremicists for using "white" to put down other races.
then we should not allow the heat.
you should not allow the heat.
you can either help society help itself by condemning ALL kinds of discrimination, or you can allow society to perpetuate the problem by excusing it away (even crying wolf on the majority)
I do condemn discrimination of all kinds. I don't think that explaining my understanding of the reasoning behind something is excusing it away.
And please explain how I should "not allow the heat".
Message edited 10/17/2007 4:58:50 PM.
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| Posted 10/17/07 4:58 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Shelly
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Shelly
Posted by Ophelia
my point was not to be taken literally.
I am sure there are other jews on all-inclusive websites. you don't need a news only website to find a hubby. BUT if you want one, that is fine. but then EVERY OTHER group in the USA should be able to have an exclusionary website, free of "heat" also.
that is my only point.
I do agree with you. There shouldn't be any heat for something like this.
But in reality, the heat will come. Primarily for the reasons that Beth said- the history of the whtie supremicists for using "white" to put down other races.
then we should not allow the heat.
you should not allow the heat.
you can either help society help itself by condemning ALL kinds of discrimination, or you can allow society to perpetuate the problem by excusing it away (even crying wolf on the majority)
I do condemn discrimination of all kinds. I don't think that explaining my understanding of the reasoning behind something is excusing it away.
And please explain how I should "not allow the heat".
b/c by "explaining" it, you are conveying a sort of passive acceptance.
I don't know if this is true or not.
I guess the first way to "not allow" the heat would be to not accept that there should be any.
honestly, I am not really sure. I guess if it ever happens, we can figure out the best way for people to say "if I can do it freely, so can you"
I'd like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love,
Grow apple trees and honey bees, and snow white turtle doves.
I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony,
I'd like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.
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| Posted 10/17/07 5:04 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by Ophelia
I'd like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love,
Grow apple trees and honey bees, and snow white turtle doves.
I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony,
I'd like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.
 Ahhh! I remember that commerical .
Good night all! I'd like to thank you for a productive debate. It really helped me to explore some of myunderlying assumptions and realize the underlying assumptions that others have.
Message edited 10/17/2007 5:08:35 PM.
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| Posted 10/17/07 5:08 PM |
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HappyWife
LIF Toddler
Member since 12/06 484 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really have to ask...
Going back to the original post (and then I'll expand)...
I don't think there's anything wrong with sites like JDate. I approach it as a gathering of people who most likely have had the same cultural associations and experiences.
Most of the minority centered groups and activities are created to celebrate and uplift that culture's uniqueness that may not be recognized by the mainstream culture.
It's understandable to me to want to be a part of a group that understands my background and unique culture. As a first generation asian-american, my family and I went through a particular experience that a lot of other first generation asian-americans also went through. I don't think it's wrong to bond over that shared experience/culture.
Lastly, I am constantly reminded that I am a minority in this country, from big ways to small ways.
I was playing tennis a while ago in a public park. A pee wee football game was going on in the field next to us. A bunch of 6-year olds came over and threw sticks at us calling us racial slurs. They were SIX!!!
Every time I open a magazine like Vouge, 90% of the women don't look like me. When I read make-up tips in Allure, there is rarely anything about asian/almond shaped eyes that applies to me. So is it wrong of me to want to look at a magazine that speaks to my own particular issues?
(Okay, I realize that last example may be a small thing, but still! Do you see where I'm coming from?)
Anyway, I respect everyone's opinions here and always enjoy reading the different takes on it.
Thanks for reading my thoughts! 
Edited for spelling...
Message edited 10/17/2007 5:14:26 PM.
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| Posted 10/17/07 5:08 PM |
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kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son
Member since 2/06 2747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: I really have to ask...
Posted by pmpkn087
I think if that sign was up there, Al Sharpton would get up on his soap box sooooooo fast!
You know it!
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| Posted 10/17/07 5:13 PM |
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