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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Did you ask them directly why they can't wait 2 weeks?
Honestly, January is a weird time to fly because of the school holidays and perhaps going back early is a $$$$$ decision?
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Posted 9/13/12 8:23 PM  |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by Karen
Did you ask them directly why they can't wait 2 weeks?
Honestly, January is a weird time to fly because of the school holidays and perhaps going back early is a $$$$$ decision?
No i didn't. Not yet anyway...
They have no $$ problems whatsoever. 
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| Posted 9/13/12 8:27 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Karen
Did you ask them directly why they can't wait 2 weeks?
Honestly, January is a weird time to fly because of the school holidays and perhaps going back early is a $$$$$ decision?
No i didn't. Not yet anyway...
They have no $$ problems whatsoever.
I would get all the facts. Perhaps there are other plans that you are not aware of that are driving their decision??
ETA: Can't you just celebrate with them early? Not worth getting yourself totally aggravated and upset, IMO.
Message edited 9/13/2012 8:39:21 PM.
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| Posted 9/13/12 8:32 PM |
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LML
Twins!
Member since 10/09 1320 total posts
Name:
Laura
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would you be mad if in laws...
Yes, I would be. My father goes away for my daughter's birthday every year. I'm really hurt and upset that he missed her first birthday party.
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| Posted 9/13/12 8:35 PM |
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btrfly30
LIF Infant
Member since 3/06 161 total posts
Name:
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would you be mad if in laws...
can you celebrate his birthday before they leave?
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| Posted 9/13/12 8:38 PM |
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evrythng4areason
And then there were 4
Member since 1/10 5224 total posts
Name:
Kayla
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
crashing to offer a different perspective-
i'm 26..i think i have seen my grandparents maybe 2x on my bday..and honestly it never bothered me growing up..this also included my 1st bday (which was just my parents)
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| Posted 9/13/12 8:44 PM |
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gdubs
This baby is awesome!
Member since 11/10 2467 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by Bearcat
I'm probably not the best person to answer this... I'd be thrilled.
Ha!!! Same here!
Honestly though, DH's parents live out of state so I doubt we'll ever see them exactly on our kids birthdays. If they do make a trip we'll just celebrate again when they can be here.
Growing up we never saw both sets of grandparents on our birthdays and my mom's parents were divorced so we definitely never saw them at the same time for our birthdays. It's not a big deal and I would think when kids are really little they wouldn't mind celebrating more than once anyway.
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| Posted 9/13/12 9:09 PM |
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whyteach
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 2697 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
In all honesty, yes I would be mad. My mother in law promised to come to my daughter's graduation from prek. She called 2 days before saying she couldn't make it so she can ge her kitchen measured. She takes no interest in my daughter but I felt that crossed the line. I still have not forgiven her.
As a grandparent, you try not to miss certarin things. True, your parents do have a life. But if they can go another time, and they are the only grandparents your child has.....maybe they could have made the efFirt to go another time. That's just my opinion.
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| Posted 9/13/12 9:20 PM |
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OverTheMoon
LIF Infant
Member since 8/12 80 total posts
Name:
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Message edited 4/4/2013 1:14:59 PM.
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| Posted 9/13/12 9:43 PM |
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jax1
Love my baby girl!!!
Member since 3/09 3405 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
I'd be hurt. Maybe celebrate with them earlier. I would think they would want to be a part of it..
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| Posted 9/13/12 9:51 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
i would be furious. and i would probably never forget it. maybe even be vindictive and make sure they missed all the other important firsts.
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| Posted 9/14/12 1:14 AM |
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BeachGal
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 2827 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by Kate
No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.
Totally agree! Wouldn't care one bit but I am extremely laid back with his type of thing!
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| Posted 9/14/12 1:19 AM |
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orchid24
PARTY OF FIVE PLEASE!
Member since 3/06 2018 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
I imagine i'd be hurt and upset. esp. for the first b-day, if they're just going on vacation.
my in-laws didn't come to my son's 3rd b-day, didn't acknowledge it, nor did they even ask how his party was weeks after.
i've learned actions speak much LOUDER than words.
it speaks volumes about the type of people you should involve yourself with in your life.
i'm sorry and i know they're your in-laws, but the importance people give you and your family...it should not be such a struggle.
celebrate and be happy no matter what their decision is!
 
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| Posted 9/14/12 2:43 AM |
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spa118
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 2157 total posts
Name:
Shari
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by Bearcat
I'm probably not the best person to answer this... I'd be thrilled.
my sentiments exactly! I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one 
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| Posted 9/14/12 4:59 AM |
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Teachergal
We made a snowman!
Member since 1/08 3239 total posts
Name:
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
No I would not be upset. But I also would just celebrate with them early. DS won't know the difference. We had to do that this year for my DS because the weekend of his bday was my sister's wedding. We just celebrated his birthday early and it wasn't a big deal. From reading your other post, it seems like it's not just this birthday that's making you frustrated with your in-laws. I'm sorry!
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| Posted 9/14/12 5:48 AM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by Teachergal
No I would not be upset. But I also would just celebrate with them early. DS won't know the difference. We had to do that this year for my DS because the weekend of his bday was my sister's wedding. We just celebrated his birthday early and it wasn't a big deal. From reading your other post, it seems like it's not just this birthday that's making you frustrated with your in-laws. I'm sorry!
my in laws and i have come a long way. We had a GREAT relationship before kids. After Jacen, things went down hill. But that was 4 1/2 years ago and we've come a long way since then. Things have been fine for the past year or so and i really try to move on and not hold on to them.
I just don't understand why they're choosing to miss it. They live 7 minutes down the road. They're not out of state. They're actually a very close family. They preach family values all the time. They are not going down on the 5th for any particular reason. My husband asked them.
To celebrate it earlier than the 5th... when? christmas? LOL!
I just would never do that to my grandkids or my kids for that matter.
I guess for #3, we have to hope that he/she isn't born in the winter because clearly they won't be staying for their birthday either. 
i'm not as mad as i was so thank you for all the replies because they have calmed me down a bit.  I just think it's inconsiderate of them and once again, they're hurting my husband by their actions. 
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| Posted 9/14/12 7:05 AM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Nope wouldn't bother me, the world does not revolve around me and my kids. My own world does, but other peoples doesnt.
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| Posted 9/14/12 8:10 AM |
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walkintomymind
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 806 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
I'd be a little hurt, and I'd certainly make comments in passing to my DH while discussing it...but I wouldn't be mad.
My sister missed my DD's first birthday because she didn't want to ask for off from work 
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| Posted 9/14/12 8:34 AM |
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ISpoilHim
I think I got this
Member since 11/10 1523 total posts
Name:
K
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would you be mad if in laws...
My son turned 1 yesterday. He has never met my in laws. Neither have I. They live out of state. We have offered to pay for them to fly here and put them up for their stay. At the last possible second, they always say no. I have given up. My mom passed away in April, so these are his only living grandparents. It is what it is. My husband has not seen his parents in over 20 years. I would be upset at this point if they did decide to come.
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| Posted 9/14/12 10:36 AM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
I would not be mad. But we don't have big parties or anything. My kids b-days are a big deal to me and I make them a big deal to my kids, but I don't expect it to be a big deal to others. I invite ILs over for cake and if they come great (they usually do) but if they couldn't make it I would not think twice.
Sorry you are hurt, if it were me I would have DH honestly tell them how he feels and then leave it at that.
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| Posted 9/14/12 10:41 AM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
My inlaws are snowbirds.
They leave right after Christmas.
My DS is a Jan. baby.
His 1st Bday, they did fly back for the weekend and his bday party. After that, they haven't been here.
I was upset at first, but, honestly, DS is older now and it's kiddie parties. Of course it would be GREAT if they were here, but, I did become understanding.
My father comes to the bday parties and he even wanders in, in the middle of it. It's really been more for the kids now.
My DDs bday is in May and this year was the first party they missed of hers as well. It was her first kiddie party. Again, I understood.
Mad? No
Upset? Not so much anymore. I've become more understanding of it.
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| Posted 9/14/12 1:04 PM |
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Ma-n-Pa2008
Mommy's Big Boy
Member since 3/09 2584 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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would you be mad if in laws...
although I don't care if my in-laws are around, I'd be upset for DS and overall in general that they didn't want to be around for his birthday.
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| Posted 9/14/12 1:07 PM |
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FergieK
Loving my girls
Member since 7/09 2533 total posts
Name:
Fergie
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
yes I would be mad. Maybe you can celebrate it over the holidays instead?
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| Posted 9/14/12 1:09 PM |
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Teachergal
No I would not be upset. But I also would just celebrate with them early. DS won't know the difference. We had to do that this year for my DS because the weekend of his bday was my sister's wedding. We just celebrated his birthday early and it wasn't a big deal. From reading your other post, it seems like it's not just this birthday that's making you frustrated with your in-laws. I'm sorry!
my in laws and i have come a long way. We had a GREAT relationship before kids. After Jacen, things went down hill. But that was 4 1/2 years ago and we've come a long way since then. Things have been fine for the past year or so and i really try to move on and not hold on to them.
I just don't understand why they're choosing to miss it. They live 7 minutes down the road. They're not out of state. They're actually a very close family. They preach family values all the time. They are not going down on the 5th for any particular reason. My husband asked them.
To celebrate it earlier than the 5th... when? christmas? LOL!
I just would never do that to my grandkids or my kids for that matter.
I guess for #3, we have to hope that he/she isn't born in the winter because clearly they won't be staying for their birthday either.
i'm not as mad as i was so thank you for all the replies because they have calmed me down a bit. I just think it's inconsiderate of them and once again, they're hurting my husband by their actions.
#1 I would be very very very annoyed, and not ashamed to show it since they are clearly showing a preference by coming home for their other grandkids
#2 I would be pisssed for my husband. They are hurting him, as you wrote, and that is just not cool
#3 I would NOT celebrate another time. THEY are CHOOSING to leave for NO REASON. It's not like they have something special they can't post pone or whatever. If they don't care enough to be present why should you care enough to make special arrangement's for them?
#4 I get they have a life, but it's their grandkids, and there is nothing that makes me madder then the eternal "show" family. I have family like that and let me tell you I don't give a rats asss how "close" of a family you SAY we are...we're strangers except at a funeral. Grow up and except the reality you create.
URGH Sorry I just hate stuff like this. My MIL/FIL are like this and it freaking annoys the pisss out of me. Don't stand up every Sunday and preach about family in church to turn around and not do anything to be close to your kids or grandkids. Just makes me sick.
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| Posted 9/14/12 1:14 PM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
My DS only has one grandfather - FIL.
He and his wife live in Flordia. They have their own lives and really don't see their grandchildren much - MAYBE once a year (SIL lives in Seattle and has 2 girls).
When DS was baptised they booked a cruise for that week. We told them we were planning on baptising DS in November but they just went ahead and booked without asking if we had set an actual date.
DH was really upset at his father - it was the first time I saw him really down about anything.
For DS 1st birthday they were actually in PA - a few hours away, we found out they were here for a week and never called us. When DH told his father to come visit that weekend, his father told him they had tickets to see a show at the local lodge with their friends.
DH just laughed and hung up the phone. The fact that they drove up from Florida to PA and never even called to tell us that they were nearby (even if WE drove to them) just pisssed DH off.
He see's his Dad MAYBE once a year.
The reason being is unless WE go to them, they find every excuse to not come see us.
SIL asked if they would like to come out to Seattle for Thanksgiving this year, since we will be there as well. They told her "No, thanks its too cold that time of year, but we are going on a cruise for Hawaii leaving from Vancouver the following week, so we'll be staying at your place the night before"  
So you won't come to Seattle to see your kids and their kids because it is too cold, BUT you will come to your DD's house the day AFTER we leave to go on your third cruise of the year?
Why couldn't they fly in a few days earlier and see all of us? The last time they saw their grand children was a year ago when we all flew to them.
So, no I wouldn't be mad - I'd be shocked as 5hit if he actually attended anything for DS and wonder where the television camera's were
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| Posted 9/14/12 1:27 PM |
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