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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
No, because they'd probably make a big deal out of the birthday before the trip. But even still, I wouldn't be mad--unless I was looking for a reason to be mad at them, KWIM?
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Posted 9/13/12 2:04 PM  |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Mad - no........extremely disappointed and hurt, yes.
But not at all surprised if this was my MIL.
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| Posted 9/13/12 2:04 PM |
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babylove628
mommy of two!
Member since 11/09 2733 total posts
Name:
Maggie
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
i'd be upset that they choose to not be a part of their grandson's bday, at least his first bday!!
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| Posted 9/13/12 2:04 PM |
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rkl1130
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 1476 total posts
Name:
Rose Ann
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Truthfully, if they are the only grandparents, I would be a little disappointed. It's not like they HAVE to go when they do, but rather CHOOSE to go.
I know my FIL lives in FL so he's not always around for DD. Last year, he actually left to go back to FL before DD's first birthday simply because. I was annoyed. This year, they were here for her birthday but he talked about just not going to her party which was the actual day of her birthday. I got annoyed again because the whole point of him coming up was to spend her birthday with her, so it defeated the purpose to not go to the party.
I know that grandparents deserve to do whatever they want too, but sometimes I feel that their actions are a little hurtful in regards to family and then they complain.
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| Posted 9/13/12 2:11 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by MrsDrMatt
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Kate
No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.
so you wouldn't be mad if they missed your sons birthday every year? really?
I wouldn't be mad at all. Their life does not revolve around me and my kids.
Agreed!
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| Posted 9/13/12 2:16 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Kate
No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.
let me just say that i get they have a life. We know that. They go to FL oct 9-nov 16th. Then back for 4 more months jan-april 15th.
But i don't understand how they can't wait 2 more weeks in january to go? for what... golf?
I don't think I would be mad. My parents live in FL. Do I expect them to be here for every birthday....nope. They are missing things in thier grandchilds life but it will not make a bit of difference to my son....they love him and will be there for him in different ways and different times.
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| Posted 9/13/12 2:18 PM |
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2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!
Member since 5/10 2954 total posts
Name:
D
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would you be mad if in laws...
I'd be aggravated....on another note that's my DS's birthday too!
Message edited 9/13/2012 2:24:12 PM.
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| Posted 9/13/12 2:18 PM |
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CunningOne
***
Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
No, wouldn't bother me in the least.
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| Posted 9/13/12 2:25 PM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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would you be mad if in laws...
If it were my parents, then I would be mad and hurt. It being IL's, I wouldn't care but I would be annoyed for DH.
My DD only has a paternal Grandfather and maternal Grandmother. Her Grandmother lives in Florida. She also has a maternal Great-Grandmother who also lives in Florida. They were both invited to be here for DD's First Birthday and her Grandmother declined but Great Grandmother came. The reason for Grandmother declining: Because she didn't want to come up for an "occassion" and have to be around a lot of people. She wants to come here and not have to spend any time with anyone other than us which is just ridiculous in itself. I have issues with her and I know these things hurt my DH but I keep my mouth shut because its just wasted breath and no point in angering myself.
So after all of that...if your IL's couldn't postpone their trip for two weeks to be here for the first birthday and party then yes, I would be annoyed and hurt that they are being so selfish. I wouldn't expect them to change their plans every year but for the first birthday...yes.
Message edited 9/13/2012 2:31:53 PM.
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| Posted 9/13/12 2:28 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by Katareen
Posted by MrsDrMatt
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Kate
No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.
so you wouldn't be mad if they missed your sons birthday every year? really?
I wouldn't be mad at all. Their life does not revolve around me and my kids.
Agreed!
Ditto.. I could care less. Its not like they said "I don't want to be around your child and we are PURPOSELY moving our vacation to AVOID him" that would be offensive. If its a routine thing for them, yeah, I'm sure they are used to missing stuff.
It wouldn't bother me. My MIL pretty much ignored my child those first 4yrs. Now all of a sudden she wants to be invovled more. A little too little a little too late.
No one actually SEEs AJ on her actual Birthday. Most don't see her until sometime in the same month or two. My parents see her once a year period and his family one every two years or so if they are lucky. Not seeing her doesn't mean they don't care. At least they ARE there and still living.
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| Posted 9/13/12 2:49 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by rkl1130
Truthfully, if they are the only grandparents, I would be a little disappointed. It's not like they HAVE to go when they do, but rather CHOOSE to go.
See you hit it right on the head. They're choosing to go then and not staying for his birthday. I just don't get that. For people who preach all about being a family and doing things for family, blah blah blah and then you're choosing not to be here for his birthday?
Just like they are CHOOSING to fly home for school break in february to be here to take care of our nephew (their daughters son) for that week.
So you're flying home for one grandson and you can't wait 2 weeks for the other grandsons birthday?!?!?!?
I know they have a life. They babysit once a week for us while we work. We don't ask them to babysit any other time. We don't want to interfere with their life. But they go to FL to golf. They don't have family down there. They don't have jobs. So yeah i don't get how they're choosing to miss his birthday.
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| Posted 9/13/12 3:18 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
I totally understand how you feel cause I think I'd feel the same way!
they go for months at a time...their dates are flexible, why not just go right after his bday? That's how I would view it.
I always try to think of things from different perspectives. If this were ME living a life where I went to FL for months and had a flexible schedule, no chance I'd miss a bday.
is there any chance you think they'll come back for his bday for a long weekend or something? Do they ever do things like that? I can understand that.
I totally understand when people say they have their own life...people have to do what they have to do, but I would be upset. Not necessarily angry, but just sad.
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| Posted 9/13/12 3:24 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by MrsDrMatt
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Kate
No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.
so you wouldn't be mad if they missed your sons birthday every year? really?
I wouldn't be mad at all. Their life does not revolve around me and my kids.
I agree with this.
And I would expect it from my ILs
Not from my parents, mind you.
But we have a different relationship
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| Posted 9/13/12 3:32 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by MrsDrMatt
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Kate
No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.
so you wouldn't be mad if they missed your sons birthday every year? really?
I wouldn't be mad at all. Their life does not revolve around me and my kids.
I agree with this.
And I would expect it from my ILs
Not from my parents, mind you.
But we have a different relationship
yes but these are also my husbands parents. So even though you'd expect it from your in laws, it's still HIS parents. So how would you feel if YOUR parents did this?
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| Posted 9/13/12 3:36 PM |
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BlueDiamonds
mommy to 3 boys
Member since 2/07 3885 total posts
Name:
proud mommy
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would you be mad if in laws...
I would be very upset! We have a small family and birthdays are very important to us. It's a special time for all of us to put aside our busy schedules and celebrate. Especially a first birthday!
I totally get where you are coming from, my in-laws fly to FL every year at the beginning of Jan for 4 months. They missed DS's first Easter but I let that go because it's not a huge holiday in our family. But a first birthday, I would be mad! And to miss his birthday every year (by 2 weeks???), that would not fly with me one bit. I would probably say something to them about it like "Hey, why not postpone your vacation by 2 weeks and actually celebrate your grandson's birthday with the family". When it comes to DS, I don't hold back my feelings.
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| Posted 9/13/12 3:43 PM |
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SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!
Member since 6/07 4970 total posts
Name:
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
MIL didn't even call us on DD's birthday. She's DD's only grandmother. I think she might have texted? No gift, no card. That's what she chose. Was I mad? Yeah, a little. But that's who she is, and that's her relationship with us. She made it pretty clear.
You can't change what they want their relationship with your kids to be by being annoyed or getting them to change their plans when they obviously don't want to. That's not the role they want in your DS's life.
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| Posted 9/13/12 3:54 PM |
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rkl1130
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 1476 total posts
Name:
Rose Ann
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by rkl1130
Truthfully, if they are the only grandparents, I would be a little disappointed. It's not like they HAVE to go when they do, but rather CHOOSE to go.
See you hit it right on the head. They're choosing to go then and not staying for his birthday. I just don't get that. For people who preach all about being a family and doing things for family, blah blah blah and then you're choosing not to be here for his birthday?
Just like they are CHOOSING to fly home for school break in february to be here to take care of our nephew (their daughters son) for that week.
So you're flying home for one grandson and you can't wait 2 weeks for the other grandsons birthday?!?!?!?
I know they have a life. They babysit once a week for us while we work. We don't ask them to babysit any other time. We don't want to interfere with their life. But they go to FL to golf. They don't have family down there. They don't have jobs. So yeah i don't get how they're choosing to miss his birthday.
That's just it - they are CHOOSING to go down there to play golf knowing that the birthday is two weeks away.
They are entitled to their own life, but like you, I would be annoyed especially if they preach family and spending time with them.
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| Posted 9/13/12 4:00 PM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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would you be mad if in laws...
I would not be mad, but would definitely feel hurt.
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| Posted 9/13/12 4:10 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by MrsDrMatt
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Kate
No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.
so you wouldn't be mad if they missed your sons birthday every year? really?
I wouldn't be mad at all. Their life does not revolve around me and my kids.
I agree with this.
And I would expect it from my ILs
Not from my parents, mind you.
But we have a different relationship
yes but these are also my husbands parents. So even though you'd expect it from your in laws, it's still HIS parents. So how would you feel if YOUR parents did this?
I think it's more the dynamic.
I am close with my parents.
They are close with my DD
DH is NOT close with his parents (well parent that is still living that is).
That parent is also not very close with our DD either.
That is why.
If my parents- who I was close with did it, I'd feel hurt, yes.
But not mad or angry.
They made their choice, they have to live with it.
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| Posted 9/13/12 4:25 PM |
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july4mrsO
Happy boy!
Member since 5/10 2867 total posts
Name:
Jess
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would you be mad if in laws...
I would definitely be hurt.
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| Posted 9/13/12 4:26 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Nope, I wouldn't be mad.
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| Posted 9/13/12 4:27 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by MrsDrMatt
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Kate
No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.
so you wouldn't be mad if they missed your sons birthday every year? really?
I wouldn't be mad at all. Their life does not revolve around me and my kids.
I agree with this.
And I would expect it from my ILs
Not from my parents, mind you.
But we have a different relationship
yes but these are also my husbands parents. So even though you'd expect it from your in laws, it's still HIS parents. So how would you feel if YOUR parents did this?
My parents do do this. They live in FL retired nothing to do all day but play cards and kayak. They will not be here for my sisters sons 1st bday but will for mine just because that is how their travel schedule worked out. Neither of us are mad. We understand that they can't be everywhere all the time. Next time they will miss my DS bday and see my sisters son. It's not like they never see you DS. They babysit every week. It's one day. They can celebrate his birthday before they leave.
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| Posted 9/13/12 4:53 PM |
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Jan1975
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Member since 8/09 3846 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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would you be mad if in laws...
Yes, I would be very upset and so would DH. My parents and in-laws would never miss a birthday!
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| Posted 9/13/12 5:22 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
dh's grandparents use to hold off on going to FL every year til after the January bdays.....
yeah I'd be annoyed if I had a good relationship with them.
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| Posted 9/13/12 6:42 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: would you be mad if in laws...
well thank you everyone for your responses. I appreciate it. 
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| Posted 9/13/12 8:10 PM |
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