|
You must be a registered and logged in user to subscribe to a topic.
Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 |
MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by Goobster
Posted by FirstMate
I totally get it. It's like you feel like the clown juggling 20 pins at the circus. It is so hard. I have no time to do anything either and I half ass every single thing I do. Every aspect of my life is suffering. DS had dinner last night at 8:30 and DH and I ate at 10. Really. I used to be extremely reliable but I have turned into a total flake. I only have one so I can't imagine how you feel with 2.
See, I am a SAHM and I feel the same way as the working moms. I used to be SOOO organized. Pretty hard with a child demanding your attention all day. I used to watch my weight, even harder when you cater to a child all day that you even forget to drink a drop of water all day. You just get so in the mode of taking care of your child that it's easy to forget about yourself. I have never been so disorganized in my life. I hate it. I too feel like I never give anything 100%, am always distracted etc. As I said before, unless my child is in preschool, I dont have any help nearby and unless i plop her in front of the tv (which sadly I have to do wayyyy more than I ever wanted or dreamed I would)...it seriously depresses and saddens me...but this is the ONLY way I can get things done and I am so tired of not getting things done that I get desperate and do what I have to do.
Marisa...only you can figure out what aspects of your life sahm will improve and which may suffer, kwim? I used to be so bright. I used to have a great job and spent years and years in college getting degrees. And now I sort of feel like a nobody, a person without much of an identity. Sadly some days I just feel like a "slave". I feel bad to say that....I do....but I just feel so tied down most days and it just is so frustrating. But I am glad I chose to do it, for various reasons and also part of it wasnt a choice for different reasons as well.
I am not by any means glad that you feel this way at ALL - but I have 'happy for lack of a better word to know that my fear of feeling that way isn't crazy or horribly selfish - because, to be honest with you, I do not love my job. I have a financial economics degree - but I didn't go to grad school (like I freakin' should have!!!) so I don't feel like I'm 'oh so educated' - I stay at work because I feel (felt?) like I need something for myself to keep an identity outside of Mom and Wife ........I dont want to be JUST Brian's wife and Sean & Colin's Mom - I want to have something that's mine (pathetically, even if it's something that I'm not partuculary in love with or gives me any real sense of pride of acomplishment) - that is why I'm holding on to this stupid job........
At the end of the day, I need to feel like I'm someone besides the maid and the cook and the chauffer and all of that stuff ........And I'm not saying that is all SAHMs ARE - I'm saying i'm afraid that's how I would feel about MYSELF -
I have friends who SAH and love it. They are so happy, have no guilt about the money thing, etc etc ........I wish I could feel that way and be that person, but I don't know if I am built that way !
|
Posted 3/15/12 2:55 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by MarisaK
I need something for myself to keep an identity outside of Mom and Wife ........I dont want to be JUST Brian's wife and Sean & Colin's Mom - I want to have something that's mine (pathetically, even if it's something that I'm not partuculary in love with or gives me any real sense of pride of acomplishment) - that is why I'm holding on to this stupid job........
!
I was ALWAYS afraid of that too. If you have alot of friends or social outlets, this may be great for you, kwim?
Message edited 3/19/2012 12:12:21 AM.
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:00 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
This always seems to cause drama  for some reason, but becoming a SAHM, while wonderful, is completely giving up your independence, financial freedom, and sometimes, your self-worth and self-reliance. NOT ALL THE TIME and NOT FOR EVERYONE. But it can be a hard and sad adjustment for a former career woman, who lived and breathed her job, who made her own money, who called her own shots. NOT ALL WOMAN and NOT A KNOCK TO SAHMS WHO LOVE IT.
It also can cause a marriage to deteriorate once a partner becomes a SAHM or dad. The roles change, the expectations change,
and there is now only one income to spend from. This can be hard for a former careerperson to adjust too.
We see too often on LIF and in real life, a SAHM who ends up in a miserable marriage and now has no money, nowhere to live, debt, and can't get a job as easily because she has been out of the workforce for so long. Or we see the woman who WANTS to leave, but can't, because she is a SAHM. She ends up depressed and has no leg to stand on.
It's scary, it SUCKS, but it's reality. Anything can happen, I don't care how secure anyone says their marriage is. More than 50% of marriages fail.
Having financial freedom and relying on yourself is one of the most important things to feeling valued, and I find it CRUCIAL to teach this to kids. Everyone needs to support themselves, or at least know how to do it.
But I do see the struggle where mothers want to have it all, a career, be a full-time mom, and great wife. IT'S SO DAMN HARD these days, I know.
Yes, you could always get a job at Target if you had too down the line, but is that what you worked for? kwim? Would that salary even match what you made previously?
I'd proceed slowly and try to ease your current burden load before making a decision. I ONLY say this because you sound overwhelmed and that you said your careerfield, once you leave, you can't return.
@@@ I truly wish men knew our struggle. NO MAN I have ever met has expressed to me his inate desire to quit his job because he wants to be a better father or spend more time with his kids. None.
Why is it US always sacrificing and contemplating and struggling how to manage it all? Because we feel guilt, the ultimate curse of women.
I wish you luck.
Message edited 3/15/2012 3:05:30 PM.
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:02 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by MarisaK
At the end of the day, I need to feel like I'm someone besides the maid and the cook and the chauffer and all of that stuff ........And I'm not saying that is all SAHMs ARE - I'm saying i'm afraid !
This is how I feel. I have worked since I was 16, been in school for years and years earning a few college degrees. And now I just feel like the maid and a slave and the gopher. Ouch. I hate to say that but I do, in my situation. But I am sure I will look back and be glad I was able to be with my child, but that is if it doesnt drive me to the crazy house before that day.
eta- thankfully we dont have financial worries, so there isnt any stress on that front...but if it may add extra stress there, that is a concern b/c that stress wont be a good one either, kwim?
Message edited 3/15/2012 3:12:54 PM.
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:03 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
goobster, hope you don't mind my inquiry, but I'm curious because I know you love your DD and made it a priority to become a SAHM, and I know you went far with your education. Do you plan on returning once she is in school full-time? (no judgements here, just asking because of what you just wrote in the post above - and I can relate to feeling like a slave!)
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:08 PM |
| |
|
MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by cncforever
This always seems to cause drama for some reason, but becoming a SAHM, while wonderful, is completely giving up your independence, financial freedom, and sometimes, your self-worth and self-reliance. NOT ALL THE TIME and NOT FOR EVERYONE. But it can be a hard and sad adjustment for a former career woman, who lived and breathed her job, who made her own money, who called her own shots. NOT ALL WOMAN and NOT A KNOCK TO SAHMS WHO LOVE IT.
It also can cause a marriage to deteriorate once a partner becomes a SAHM or dad. The roles change, the expectations change,
and there is now only one income to spend from. This can be hard for a former careerperson to adjust too.
We see too often on LIF and in real life, a SAHM who ends up in a miserable marriage and now has no money, nowhere to live, debt, and can't get a job as easily because she has been out of the workforce for so long. Or we see the woman who WANTS to leave, but can't, because she is a SAHM. She ends up depressed and has no leg to stand on.
It's scary, it SUCKS, but it's reality. Anything can happen, I don't care how secure anyone says their marriage is. More than 50% of marriages fail.
Having financial freedom and relying on yourself is one of the most important things to feeling valued, and I find it CRUCIAL to teach this to kids. Everyone needs to support themselves, or at least know how to do it.
But I do see the struggle where mothers want to have it all, a career, be a full-time mom, and great wife. IT'S SO DAMN HARD these days, I know.
Yes, you could always get a job at Target if you had too down the line, but is that what you worked for? kwim? Would that salary even match what you made previously?
I'd proceed slowly and try to ease your current burden load before making a decision. I ONLY say this because you sound overwhelmed and that you said your careerfield, once you leave, you can't return.
@@@ I truly wish men knew our struggle. NO MAN I have ever met has expressed to me his inate desire to quit his job because he wants to be a better father or spend more time with his kids. None.
Why is it US always sacrificing and contemplating and struggling how to manage it all? Because we feel guilt, the ultimate curse of women.
I wish you luck.
I completely agree with everything you said - I have never been 100% career driven though .........I could never ever find something I was totally passionate about doing/being - SoI have always been slightly disappointed in my job / career - In myself when it comes to that. I have a good job, but I know I could have done better/more and definitely be making more money if I had done things differently and pushed myself harder.
But now it is what it is. - and it's nothing fabulous. Money wise, sure, but otherwise - not so much.
Maybe I just need a new JOB and I should start there .........? I don't know WHAT to do anymore -
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:12 PM |
| |
|
FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by MarisaK
We CAN do it financially, but I already have anxiety about not contributing financially, and being in a very vulnerable financial position to DH - No one PLANS on their husband picking up and leaving them KWIM? And I know it's morbid to think that way, but I think I'd be stupid and niave not to consider it as a possibility -
I think the same way. I do not want to be dependent on DH for anything ever. That also gives me the ability to tell him to take a hike if I need to 
I also think Goobster has an interesting perspective on this. She is pointing out that the grass isn't always greener. When I'm home with DS on the weekends, he constantly needs me to entertain him so I get what she is saying re: not being able to get anything done. For me, it's more of a time management issue I think.
I know you said that you don't think your skill set would allow you to work from home. Why don't you speak with a recruiter? Sometimes they see opportunities that we can't because they will think outside the box, KWIM?
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:14 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Yes. I have to. I cant imagine my only "job" being cooking and cleaning once she goes to school full time (or any future kids of course).
Message edited 3/19/2012 12:13:30 AM.
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:15 PM |
| |
|
pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by MarisaK
I completely agree with everything you said - I have never been 100% career driven though .........I could never ever find something I was totally passionate about doing/being - SoI have always been slightly disappointed in my job / career - In myself when it comes to that. I have a good job, but I know I could have done better/more and definitely be making more money if I had done things differently and pushed myself harder.
But now it is what it is. - and it's nothing fabulous. Money wise, sure, but otherwise - not so much.
Maybe I just need a new JOB and I should start there .........? I don't know WHAT to do anymore -
I've been reading this thread since I can relate. A lot of what Goobster says is very true but, although you can lose sight of it sometimes, it's amazing to watch your child grow and discover new things. Being a SAHM is not easy, but sometimes being a FTWM isn't either. And since I've been both, I can say I would pick staying home bc at least there I have no guilt.
But maybe you are right, maybe you need a change and a new job. BUT, I would not start a new job without first taking some time to be home, with your kids, family, etc and being "free" from work and all that entails. You sound completely overwhelmed and though a new job would probably be refreshing, it's a lot to handle with everything else you have going on. Take it one step at a time.
As for feeling some sort of disappointment in that you didn't go to grad schoo, or do more, etc., that's always there - I went to grad school and it's there, just in other ways. For me it's, why didn't I go to grad school when I was younger, I could have made more of my career before I had a child, I took out 100K in loans to then stay home, etc etc etc. Get rid of the shoulds "i should do this, should have done that" bc those just serve to torment us all.
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:24 PM |
| |
|
Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
I could have written your post 9 months ago - definitely BTDT!!
However, no where in your post (original or subsequent) have you indicated that you want to be a SAHM. Trust me - I get the need to eliminate the stress that WFT brings, but I think that being a SAHM comes with so many of its own difficulties (many of which you have already identified) that unless you really REALLY want it, it will wear you down and cause a completely new set of stresses for you.
A PP mentioned what I would do (and, in fact, did) - that is, work out any which way to change your schedule, your commuting - anything that may alleviate at least some of the stress you're feeling without going whole hog on the SAH thing.
As of last June - after 10.5 years of being a workaholic in my industry - I now work part-time in Manhattan (3 days, 10 hours a day). My responsibilities at work haven't waned entirely and that's just sort of a trade off I have to deal with. But, I am home more often than I am not (4 days home, 3 days working) while still contributing a good amount financially, carrying the benefits (health, dependent care, life insurance), keeping my own retirement (like you, I'm a realist with the whole on-my-own thing).
I was getting sick CONSTANTLY and I knew it was the stress of everything. But I also knew that deep down, I NEED to work. The $, the independence, the productivity - all aspects of it. I tried the half-assed approach and like you, I failed miserably. So, I had to take some responsibilities off of my plate. The only place I could do that was at work.
Perhaps your solution is not within your present company, but a different company (check out Working Mothers and Glassdoor - both offer top companies for Work/Life balance). Meet with a headhunter on LI just to see what's out there.
I - personally - would try all of that before I'd quit entirely. I'm also in a place where if I'm gone for 5 years... I'm GONE. I'm not entirely willing to do that just yet.
I wish you the best of luck - I know how trying this is and how difficult the decision will be for you (I hemmed and hawed for well over a year before the part-time).
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:25 PM |
| |
|
Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
I would start out making small steps not a big jump just yet -
- since you commute can you do errands while on the train - order peapod, pay bills, etc? this way you'll have more free time when home
- can you do flex hours? or move to a 4 day work week?
- maybe take a week vacation and try it out, see if being home makes you feel different.
- can your skill sets be used in other occupations? I started out as a paralegal in a huge lawfirm but the hours were killer. I quit that to become an Executive Assistant - better money and hours.
- since $ isnt an issue, maybe look for a lower paying job closer to home?
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:29 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by Leeners
However, no where in your post (original or subsequent) have you indicated that you want to be a SAHM. Trust me - I get the need to eliminate the stress that WFT brings, but I think that being a SAHM comes with so many of its own difficulties (many of which you have already identified) that unless you really REALLY want it, it will wear you down and cause a completely new set of stresses for you.
I - personally - would try all of that before I'd quit entirely. I'm also in a place where if I'm gone for 5 years... I'm GONE. I'm not entirely willing to do that just yet.
ITA with all of this. I was sitting here thinking...I am not getting the vibe she wants to be a sahm at all and that she just needs less stress. But I am not sure being a SAHM will help that b/c you may alleviate some stresses but may bring upon some other major ones.
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:31 PM |
| |
|
MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Lol - my company is on the working mother list every year !!
maybe i need to find a different one!
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:33 PM |
| |
|
MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by Goobster
Posted by Leeners
However, no where in your post (original or subsequent) have you indicated that you want to be a SAHM. Trust me - I get the need to eliminate the stress that WFT brings, but I think that being a SAHM comes with so many of its own difficulties (many of which you have already identified) that unless you really REALLY want it, it will wear you down and cause a completely new set of stresses for you.
I - personally - would try all of that before I'd quit entirely. I'm also in a place where if I'm gone for 5 years... I'm GONE. I'm not entirely willing to do that just yet.
ITA with all of this. I was sitting here thinking...I am not getting the vibe she wants to be a sahm at all and that she just needs less stress. But I am not sure being a SAHM will help that b/c you may alleviate some stresses but may bring upon some other major ones.
You are 100% right. I have never, once, in my life uttered the words "I want to SAH w/ my kids" - Never.
And believe me, I KNOW the stress is different and sometimes worse (I had a 6 month maternity leave) but at the same time, I thnk at this point in my life it might be what's best for everyone - me, my husband and my kids. -
With my 1st leave, I was completely ready to get back to work. The second time, not so much. In fact, not at all. My heart and head just are not in it anymore. I don't want it the way I used to - it's just not as important to me as it once was .............Like I said, I feel I need something, I'm not looking to be the SAHM of 17 year olds ....so yes, I need to do something, eventually - but not this - not anymore.
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:44 PM |
| |
|
Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
I went from being a FTWM to a SAHM to a PTWM (30 hours with 10 minute commute).
I just wanted to say that it was complete insanity in our house when I was home full time. It was near impossible for me to run errands with a 2yo and a baby. At least when I am in the office, I can make phone calls and I could run quick errands during lunch. Everything was such an ordeal when I was home with 2 young children.
I had cleaning help and a mother's helper. I felt guilty that I outsourced so much housework WHILE I stayed home full time.
Staying at home was not for me. One mom's ideal may not be another's.
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:47 PM |
| |
|
Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by MarisaK
Lol - my company is on the working mother list every year !!
maybe i need to find a different one!
Get the sheet on your co then! Find out WHY they've made it - and make them adhere to it for you. They can't just put it on paper.
It's also important to remember that most companies make those lists due to concessions they make WHEN PRESSED to do so for working moms. They'll never approach you and say hey, did you know we offer xyz flexible work arrangements?
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:51 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by MarisaK
You are 100% right. I have never, once, in my life uttered the words "I want to SAH w/ my kids" - Never.
And believe me, I KNOW the stress is different and sometimes worse (I had a 6 month maternity leave) but at the same time, I thnk at this point in my life it might be what's best for everyone - me, my husband and my kids. -
With my 1st leave, I was completely ready to get back to work. The second time, not so much. In fact, not at all. My heart and head just are not in it anymore. I don't want it the way I used to - it's just not as important to me as it once was .............Like I said, I feel I need something, I'm not looking to be the SAHM of 17 year olds ....so yes, I need to do something, eventually - but not this - not anymore.
So maybe then, it is time? Maybe you are ready now for practical reasons? As long as you know going in to it that you may feel just as stresssed but in a different form...then maybe it is time for the change. Only you can figure it out.
|
| Posted 3/15/12 3:56 PM |
| |
|
MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by Leeners
Posted by MarisaK
Lol - my company is on the working mother list every year !!
maybe i need to find a different one!
Get the sheet on your co then! Find out WHY they've made it - and make them adhere to it for you. They can't just put it on paper.
It's also important to remember that most companies make those lists due to concessions they make WHEN PRESSED to do so for working moms. They'll never approach you and say hey, did you know we offer xyz flexible work arrangements?
Is the sheet you're talking about just their website write up of the company? (ie: What we Love) ....or is there something more I'm not finding?
|
| Posted 3/15/12 4:07 PM |
| |
|
yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Go for it. Your kids are only going to be little once, and you don't want to miss you.
You could be the kind of SAHM like I am, kid goes to daycare two mornings a week and the rest of the week I am sat on my arse in church halls drinking coffee gossiping to all the women in the neighbourhood about Katia, who just built a million dollar glass house on a main road. My husband has one expectation, a hot meal, so he gets it...at 9 pm. My other kid is in full time school, and the school run keeps me on schedule, as does the PTA Coffee morning, the stitch and *****, book group, pudding club...
But, its hard being with kids all day, and I do have lots of anxiety about not having my own money, but the lifestyle now is sooooo much better than the lifestyle we were living with two full time working parents. Being at the school gates to pick up Noah everyday is such a joy, I feel lucky to be able to do that. It might not last forever, and we don't have any money, but we are living the dream and I am living a charmed life baby. My car might not have any working windows...but thank goodness England hasn't got too many drive throughs! lol!
|
| Posted 3/15/12 4:20 PM |
| |
|
maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
This was me, queen of half azzing everything. I was mean to dh, keeping ds up late at night so i had some time with him, among other things. I couldn't manage it all so I quit. I'm home with 2 kids now and can't imagine working FT on top of everything else I have to manage.
I quit when ds 1 was 10 months old. Good luck to you whichever you decide
I was in finance too, there is no balance in the industry
Message edited 3/15/2012 4:24:01 PM.
|
| Posted 3/15/12 4:21 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
It's a question only you can really answer...you know yourself best!
But...I have to admit...I love everything about being a SAHM. And i don't feel any of the guilt that some others feel from it.
It's my job. It doesn't pay, but its my job, one that DH and I decided that I'd do as soon as I had my first son.
I know I'll be back to work in a few years and prob work for many years after. But for now, I cherish it. It's not always a piece of cake..you have to just be OK with everything that comes with it.
Today I walked around DC with my kids, had lunch with them, went to a few museums and train ride home. Not all days are like that, but i love these days more than anything.
I always say that if you get the chance, do it!!! But if it makes you really nervous then its something to think about more. Not everyone wants to be at home..whatever is going to make a happy mom makes happy kids. I give so so much credit to my friends who work..they juggle so much every single day and manage to keep it together. I know I'd prob be a terrible working mom!
Good luck w.your decision!
|
| Posted 3/15/12 4:24 PM |
| |
|
Jan1975
.
Member since 8/09 3846 total posts
Name:
Sarah
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
I find being a FTWM the hardest thing in the world, I always feel like I am not giving a 100% to anything, not to work, not to DD, not to DH. IT is hard, and it sucks. I know it will get better when the kids are older and less dependent.
There is no good answer except you aren't alone
|
| Posted 3/15/12 4:26 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by yankinmanc
Go for it. Your kids are only going to be little once, and you don't want to miss you.
You could be the kind of SAHM like I am, kid goes to daycare two mornings a week and the rest of the week I am sat on my arse in church halls drinking coffee gossiping to all the women in the neighbourhood about Katia, who just built a million dollar glass house on a main road. My husband has one expectation, a hot meal, so he gets it...at 9 pm. My other kid is in full time school, and the school run keeps me on schedule, as does the PTA Coffee morning, the stitch and *****, book group, pudding club...
But, its hard being with kids all day, and I do have lots of anxiety about not having my own money, but the lifestyle now is sooooo much better than the lifestyle we were living with two full time working parents. Being at the school gates to pick up Noah everyday is such a joy, I feel lucky to be able to do that. It might not last forever, and we don't have any money, but we are living the dream and I am living a charmed life baby. My car might not have any working windows...but thank goodness England hasn't got too many drive throughs! lol!
A bit off topic....but I may end up being a SAHM along side you someday, lol!! We have the opportunity to go to menwith England..not sure if you're familiar. We are very seriously considering it!! And i need to know more about this pudding club, lol
|
| Posted 3/15/12 4:27 PM |
| |
|
maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by MrsMeloyellow
I only work PT weekends. I might as well be considered a SAHM bc I REALLY don't work much at all. We are struggling financially and some days I feel like I may lose my mind.
I had this vision in my head of what I'd be like as a SAHM... DH would walk in from work and dinner would be cooked, house would sparkle, I'd be in a wonderful mood and have time to actually put some effort into looking good for DH and myself. BOY was I WRONG! but somehow...it's ok!
My husband is incredibly supportive. He was the one who pressed me to quit my job. My house isn't always clean...but now that DH sees how well my son is developing and learning he couldn't care less! I clean when he comes home. He tells me often what a great job I'm doing with our son.
I've made the crock pot my best friend so at least I've got the dinner part down. The money part...well...we're working on it. DH is adamant that there is ALOT of OT coming his way and "We will be fine! things are going to turn around real soon" and so we stick it out. Honestly...I'd rather have to move into a cardboard box if it meant being able to raise my son and spend time with him. They grow SO FAST and this time at home with them in the grand scheme of life is just a speck in time. It doesn't have to mean forever.
I'm not saying EVERYONE should be a SAHM...it's not for everyone. But from the sound of it...I think it may be good to take some time off to be with your kids.
My house is a mess at times and take out happens way too often here  I promise when the kids are in school the house will be spotless w gourmet dinner on the table 
I agree with everything you are saying
|
| Posted 3/15/12 4:27 PM |
| |
|
yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Seriously Considering the SAHM Thing -
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by yankinmanc
Go for it. Your kids are only going to be little once, and you don't want to miss you.
You could be the kind of SAHM like I am, kid goes to daycare two mornings a week and the rest of the week I am sat on my arse in church halls drinking coffee gossiping to all the women in the neighbourhood about Katia, who just built a million dollar glass house on a main road. My husband has one expectation, a hot meal, so he gets it...at 9 pm. My other kid is in full time school, and the school run keeps me on schedule, as does the PTA Coffee morning, the stitch and *****, book group, pudding club...
But, its hard being with kids all day, and I do have lots of anxiety about not having my own money, but the lifestyle now is sooooo much better than the lifestyle we were living with two full time working parents. Being at the school gates to pick up Noah everyday is such a joy, I feel lucky to be able to do that. It might not last forever, and we don't have any money, but we are living the dream and I am living a charmed life baby. My car might not have any working windows...but thank goodness England hasn't got too many drive throughs! lol!
A bit off topic....but I may end up being a SAHM along side you someday, lol!! We have the opportunity to go to menwith England..not sure if you're familiar. We are very seriously considering it!! And i need to know more about this pudding club, lol
Oh, I wish I could tell you about pudding club, but if I did, I would have to kill you. The first rule of Pudding Club is that you don't talk about Pudding Club. Okay, you have torture me enough!!! Its a "club" and we meet up every few months and each of us makes a cake or dessert. Its difficult to get around to tasting all of them.
Where in England are you interested in going to! Tell me more.
OH, and tomorrow, I am putting Immi in daycare so I can go out to lunch with my girlfriends to Jamie Oliver's Italian. Sounds good huh? lol!
|
| Posted 3/15/12 4:36 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 |
Potentially Related Topics:
Currently 484373 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
|
Long Island Bridal Shows
|
