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summertime
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/10 852 total posts
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
It sounds like she was coming from a good place, conderned that your little one might get hurt.
Personally if I were her I would have thought you were nasty.
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Posted 8/27/12 1:09 PM  |
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cantwait41
LIF Zygote
Member since 7/11 43 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Wow....I think this is the first poster that asked for opinions and responded so politely and kindly even when it may have not been what she wanted to hear!! And she also said herself she may have overreacted! I give you lots of credit for that and you must really be a great mom and person who doesn't always have to right or know everything! (This is supposed to be written in a nice, kind tone without any snarkiness...of course I had to say that so no one would take what I said in the wrong way!)
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| Posted 8/27/12 1:19 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I always say something to a kid if I think they could get hurt or are in a situation that I might have thought was dangerous, she did nothing wrong, you were rude and you should hav just nodded and just walked away. She was being nice.
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| Posted 8/27/12 1:20 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
God, I must be so jaded. I STILL don't think the woman was "just being nice" - if I was just trying to be nice, I would have said something quietly to the parent, not addressed the kid.
I also assume the worst in people more than half the time 
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| Posted 8/27/12 1:29 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I think I would have been a little annoyed if I was standing right there too ......so I agree with you there -
But I think you were kind of nasty in your replies back to her.
It's usually my first reaction to think someone is just being nosey - not to assume they think I'm a horrible parent. -
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| Posted 8/27/12 1:34 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I would not have thought anything of it.
I've taken DS to a petting zoo area where there were chickens in a cage. I'm assuming that it was totally safe since babies and toddlers were all around the cage. I still told DS not to stick his fingers inside the cage in fear that the chicken might peck at his fingers.
I never say anything to other people's kids but if safety was involved, I may chime in.
I think you are reading too much into the comment. She was probably just trying to help.
Message edited 8/27/2012 1:48:21 PM.
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| Posted 8/27/12 1:40 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by LittleBlueBug
IDK, I come from the belief of "it takes a village...". I dont think she thought your parental judgement was poor, you may be over analyzing. I think she was just trying to be helpful. If it were me I probably would have thanked her.
I agree. I think as a mom it may just have been a reaction, not a judgement.
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| Posted 8/27/12 1:45 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
This isn't directed at the OP, but parents will tell others to mind their own business...but then god forbid their kid gets hurt they'll be howling from the rooftops.
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| Posted 8/27/12 1:47 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by Katareen
This isn't directed at the OP, but parents will tell others to mind their own business...but then god forbid their kid gets hurt they'll be howling from the rooftops.
I could see what you're saying if an employee told my son to be careful- but not sure how it applies to a random person.
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| Posted 8/27/12 2:16 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by Bearcat
God, I must be so jaded. I STILL don't think the woman was "just being nice" - if I was just trying to be nice, I would have said something quietly to the parent, not addressed the kid.
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I am with you on this. ITA
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| Posted 8/27/12 2:19 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by cantwait41
Wow....I think this is the first poster that asked for opinions and responded so politely and kindly even when it may have not been what she wanted to hear!! And she also said herself she may have overreacted! I give you lots of credit for that and you must really be a great mom and person who doesn't always have to right or know everything! (This is supposed to be written in a nice, kind tone without any snarkiness...of course I had to say that so no one would take what I said in the wrong way!)
Thanks. I try on here to just be honest since it's an anonymous forum- in other words I don't feel stupid that I could have been wrong, haha. That "being honest on a forum" thing goes the other way too though and I'm well aware that some people think I'm a big B for the times I give my judgmental opinions  but at least you can say that if you're posting, you're asking for it!
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| Posted 8/27/12 2:20 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
so funny, i had a similar situation but played out totally differently
we were at White Post and DS was watching the birds from the outside - a woman on the inside was holding one on a stick and raised it up to the fence so DS could touch it through the fence. Didnt bother me at all but for all she knew, I didn't want him touching them.
No matter where you are or what you are doing, someone at some point will give you unsolicited advice. Let it roll. Too many other things in life to worry about.
I remember being in BRU with DS (about 4-5 months) in the carseat and snap and go. A 70 year old woman walks up to me and tells me to take him out (yes she said "take that baby out of there) because the carseat would "injure his back"  . I told her that he was perfectly safe but thank you and we strolled along our merry way.
Message edited 8/27/2012 2:26:21 PM.
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| Posted 8/27/12 2:23 PM |
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DC HJJ M
Member since 8/07 3732 total posts
Name:
Crystal
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by Bearcat
It would have bothered me too. I would have kept my mouth shut though.
Me too
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| Posted 8/27/12 3:14 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by M514
I probably would have just said thanks and left it at that.
Ditto
I agree
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| Posted 8/27/12 3:29 PM |
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my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys
Member since 5/05 4381 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I wouldn't have liked what she said and I may have gotten snarky myself! Maybe not to that extent unless she went back at me but definitely would annoy me. Whether or not she meant it to say hey you look what your kid is doing wrong, passing judgement, being what she considers helpful or being her own neurotic self - she has no right to correct your child in my opinion. I probably would have shot her a look and moved my kid away from her and said made some kind of it's ok comforting comment to my child. I am from if it isn't hurting you or yours - MOB. Unless in a immediate danger situation....in this case sounds like the birds wasn't near your kid, his hands weren't totally thru the cage, etc. It there was an issue someone working there would have said something or yourself.
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| Posted 8/27/12 3:56 PM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I think you overreacted. It had nothing to do with your competency and more so she just saw a kid wh'se fingers were in the cage and just didn't want to see anything happen to him... Not a big deal. I'd say something similar without even thinking twice!
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| Posted 8/27/12 4:22 PM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by lynnd126
Also, I'm not sure how this likens to why there's always drama on LIF. I actually didn't say anything back to her- but to my ds, so she could have chosen also to just keep moving instead of answering me.
Maybe I did over react- maybe also though you had to sort of hear how she said it- not like some sweet old woman or something, haha. IDK.
Seems to me like you were Passive aggressive. Yeah you said it to your son but Im sure You said it loud enough for the woman to hear
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| Posted 8/27/12 4:28 PM |
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mlny
blessed <3
Member since 10/09 2113 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I am in the minority but I don't think you overreacted at all. I don't understand why she felt it was her place to parent your child when you were right there. Her concern should be her child not yours. Keep it moving, ya know?
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| Posted 8/27/12 4:34 PM |
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I would be wary about teaching my child not to listen to people telling him to be careful for his own safety. If a bus was coming and a stranger yelled at him to get out of the way..... You want him to just send there because mommy said not to listen to anyone but mommy?????
Taking candy, having conversations, going into cars with strangers.... Absolutely! But telling him not to listen When a stranger says be careful??? I think it's teaching him not only a dangerous message, but has the potential to turn him into a brat who feels he doesn't need to listen to people in stores telling him not to touch or run, or his teachers in school.
If my son was sticking his hand in a cage, I probably woud have addressed it waaay before a stranger even had the opportunity. But if someone was watching out for my child, I would have thanked her. I mean.... What does SHE care if my kid gets hurt? But.... A good person does care about other people's kids.
She isn't questioning your patenting ability.
Just a thought.
Message edited 8/27/2012 5:07:52 PM.
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| Posted 8/27/12 4:52 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by MaZz
Posted by lynnd126
Also, I'm not sure how this likens to why there's always drama on LIF. I actually didn't say anything back to her- but to my ds, so she could have chosen also to just keep moving instead of answering me.
Maybe I did over react- maybe also though you had to sort of hear how she said it- not like some sweet old woman or something, haha. IDK.
Seems to me like you were Passive aggressive. Yeah you said it to your son but Im sure You said it loud enough for the woman to hear
Oh yeah, I said it for her to hear too. It was kinda funny like I was boiling but didn't say anything and was gonna let it go and then like ten seconds later said that to Ds. I knew she could hear but wasn't 100% sure she would and also she had the option to also let it go but chose not to.
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| Posted 8/27/12 4:54 PM |
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by Ophelia
the only time something like that bothers me is when I feel for a split second like "maybe I am making a wrong choice for his safety" then I get irritated and annoyed that somone pointed that out to me
the only reason why I can see her point is b/c a kid my son's age won't register a difference between this birds cage and the lair of the birds of Alfred Hitchcock. so by allowing them to touch the cage of one random bird that may be nice, it may open the door for a future killer bird accident.
sometimes we don't put forethought into some of the things we allow, it's human nature. but I do think it is always helpful for someone to make us question our judgment, even when we review and decide it IS the right thing for our child. I think it's always good to look at stuff with a new lens from time to time.
I have a dog issue. my son is NUTS for dogs. it's very hard trying to teach him why some dogs will be OK to touch and others not so much, especially bc we are not yet a dog family. its hard. navigating their curiosity in what can be a dangerous world. I try to think that most people are just concerned, and not assholes. lol
This is why I taught Cailen before he could barely talk you ask before you pet a dog. Always always ALWAYS ask. I drill it into his head....
And....
I am one of those annoying moms Who will politely school any child who barrels over to my adorably tiny dog and starts petting. Not to communicate loudly to the parent in a passive way that he or she is incompetent, but to have a child learn that it is CRUCIAL they ask before petting any dog. When I first got my dog, he did nip. I think sometimes strangers do need to provide gentle guidance to a steanger's child. The lesson can stick better than when it's the same nagging parent who says no... Stop... Get down.... Don't touch.... Stop running.... Come here... Etc.
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| Posted 8/27/12 5:03 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I would be wary about teaching my child not to listen to people telling him to be careful for his own safety. If a bus was coming and a stranger yelled at him to get out of the way..... You want him to just send there because mommy said not to listen to anyone but mommy?????
Taking candy, having conversations, going into cars with strangers.... Absolutely! But telling him not to listen Ben a stranger says be careful??? I think it's teaching him not only a dangerous message, but has the potential to turn him into a brat who feels he doesn't need to listen to people in stores telling him not to touch or run, or his teachers in school.
If my son was sticking his hand in a cage, I probably woud have addressed it waaay before a stranger even had the opportunity. But if someone was watching out for my child, I would have thanked her. I mean.... What does SHE care if my kid gets hurt? But.... A good person does care about other people's kids.
She isn't questioning your patenting ability.
Just a thought.
I get what you're saying but I wasn't telling him not to listen to strangers. I was saying that some random person's instructions do not trump mommy's, especially when mommy is present. There is a fine line there bc while you want your children to accept help when necessary you also don't want to create a belief that strangers are their friends.
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| Posted 8/27/12 5:04 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by Domino
If I'm being honest, your response to the woman is why posts on LIF blow up. I dont see anything wrong with what she said. You took it that she was criticizing you when actually she was alerting you to the fact that there was a danger that you were unaware of. Obviously if you knew that the bird could bite your child's fingers then you wouldnt have been standing there letting him do it, no? If I had been the stranger I probably would have  and posted on here about the over reaction some lady had at the petting zoo
Ditto. Although her helpfulness was unsolicited, you were pretty rude.
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| Posted 8/27/12 5:08 PM |
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by lynnd126
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I would be wary about teaching my child not to listen to people telling him to be careful for his own safety. If a bus was coming and a stranger yelled at him to get out of the way..... You want him to just send there because mommy said not to listen to anyone but mommy?????
Taking candy, having conversations, going into cars with strangers.... Absolutely! But telling him not to listen Ben a stranger says be careful??? I think it's teaching him not only a dangerous message, but has the potential to turn him into a brat who feels he doesn't need to listen to people in stores telling him not to touch or run, or his teachers in school.
If my son was sticking his hand in a cage, I probably woud have addressed it waaay before a stranger even had the opportunity. But if someone was watching out for my child, I would have thanked her. I mean.... What does SHE care if my kid gets hurt? But.... A good person does care about other people's kids.
She isn't questioning your patenting ability.
Just a thought.
I get what you're saying but I wasn't telling him not to listen to strangers. I was saying that some random person's instructions do not trump mommy's, especially when mommy is present. There is a fine line there bc while you want your children to accept help when necessary you also don't want to create a belief that strangers are their friends.
I guess...
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| Posted 8/27/12 5:08 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by Tine73
Posted by Domino
If I'm being honest, your response to the woman is why posts on LIF blow up. I dont see anything wrong with what she said. You took it that she was criticizing you when actually she was alerting you to the fact that there was a danger that you were unaware of. Obviously if you knew that the bird could bite your child's fingers then you wouldnt have been standing there letting him do it, no? If I had been the stranger I probably would have and posted on here about the over reaction some lady had at the petting zoo
Ditto. Although her helpfulness was unsolicited, you were pretty rude.
I guess that's the thing though- I didn't think she was trying to be polite or helpful. Eh, haha a lot if mixed opinions and also a lot of variables. Maybe there's no right or wrong. Too bad I don't have it on video. Would be better for us to pick apart!
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| Posted 8/27/12 5:11 PM |
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