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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I think you overreacted - I doubt she was trying to parent your child with you standing right there -thats a bit much.
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Posted 8/27/12 9:44 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I think you completely overreacted.
And TBH, regardless of where the bird was in the cage, you should be teaching your child not to put his fingers in cages. Period.
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| Posted 8/27/12 9:51 AM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I would have thanked her. If someone is saying something so my child doesn't get hurt then I am OK with that. I don't think she was trying to make you feel like you weren't parenting, she just didn't want him to get hurt.
And let's face it, you may be on top of your kid, but some moms arn't.
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| Posted 8/27/12 9:53 AM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by Bebelove
If that happened to me, I would have thought absolutely nothing of it. Things like that have happened to me before, not a big deal
me too.. she was just some stranger so I wouldn't care. I do HATE when my relatives tryto mother my kids though when I am right there.
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| Posted 8/27/12 9:55 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I don't get why you felt so defensive and attacked by this mom. It sounds to me that she was trying to be helpful and in my opinion had a good point about keeping his fingers out of the cage. Unless someone is way off base, I'm usually grateful for the assistance of other adults in the community to correct my DS's behavior and ensure safety. I agree with "it takes a village"...
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| Posted 8/27/12 9:55 AM |
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OverTheMoon
LIF Infant
Member since 8/12 80 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
It sounds to me that she was sending you a message through your son that you should be telling him to keep his fingers out of the cage. I disagree with her opening her mouth, but in all honesty I probably would have felt the same way she seemed to.
I'm not coming from a place of experience; my son is still a baby. But thinking from her POV I probably would have thought it to myself, that you should tell your kid to keep his hands out of the cage. And I understand your feelings, because I would've been angry if it were me, but I think your reaction was a bit strong. I would've just said with a smile, "he's ok, I'm right here" directly to the woman instead of playing her game right back to her and responding through your son. I will say that I'm surprised so many other moms on here don't seem to know where you were coming from. I'd have felt like my parenting was being attacked as well.
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| Posted 8/27/12 10:00 AM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by OverTheMoon
It sounds to me that she was sending you a message through your son that you should be telling him to keep his fingers out of the cage. I disagree with her opening her mouth, but in all honesty I probably would have felt the same way she seemed to.
I'm not coming from a place of experience; my son is still a baby. But thinking from her POV I probably would have thought it to myself, that you should tell your kid to keep his hands out of the cage. And I understand your feelings, because I would've been angry if it were me, but I think your reaction was a bit strong. I would've just said with a smile, "he's ok, I'm right here" directly to the woman instead of playing her game right back to her and responding through your son. I will say that I'm surprised so many other moms on here don't seem to know where you were coming from. I'd have felt like my parenting was being attacked as well.
Better reaction for sure. It would have gotten my point across in a less confrontational way. When I said that to ds I was obviously talking to her but also I was really addressing ds b/c he did react funny to her.
I agree with some people that it takes a vi8llage but I think that didn't apply. I never get offended when other moms tell my kid to share or be careful. This one just rubbed me so the wrong way. I totally felt like she was addressing ME and not him.
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| Posted 8/27/12 10:13 AM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by Chai77
I don't get why you felt so defensive and attacked by this mom. It sounds to me that she was trying to be helpful and in my opinion had a good point about keeping his fingers out of the cage. Unless someone is way off base, I'm usually grateful for the assistance of other adults in the community to correct my DS's behavior and ensure safety. I agree with "it takes a village"...
I guess I felt defensive bc I felt like she wasn't sincerely trying to help but judging me.
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| Posted 8/27/12 10:17 AM |
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OverTheMoon
LIF Infant
Member since 8/12 80 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by lynnd126
I guess I felt defensive bc I felt like she wasn't sincerely trying to help but judging me.
I don't mean to be weird by responding to this a second time, LOL, but I totally do get why you felt that way. By the way she worded what she said, it's completely clear to me that she was being judgmental. And I wasn't even there. Maybe I'm wrong and I lack the experience to know how I would feel, but I have to wonder if the other moms responding to you aren't fully putting themselves in your shoes and imagining how they would feel. Idk - again, I'm sorry if it's weird that I'm responding again, I just think that the woman was out of line and the other posters here are responding only to your reaction, and not to what she said and the way she went about it. I think you probably wouldn't have reacted the way you did if she hadn't been obnoxious about it.
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| Posted 8/27/12 10:30 AM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by OverTheMoon
Posted by lynnd126
I guess I felt defensive bc I felt like she wasn't sincerely trying to help but judging me.
I don't mean to be weird by responding to this a second time, LOL, but I totally do get why you felt that way. By the way she worded what she said, it's completely clear to me that she was being judgmental. And I wasn't even there. Maybe I'm wrong and I lack the experience to know how I would feel, but I have to wonder if the other moms responding to you aren't fully putting themselves in your shoes and imagining how they would feel. Idk - again, I'm sorry if it's weird that I'm responding again, I just think that the woman was out of line and the other posters here are responding only to your reaction, and not to what she said and the way she went about it. I think you probably wouldn't have reacted the way you did if she hadn't been obnoxious about it.
Lol, no you're not weird- I appreciate it. At least I feel like even if I was sort of "off base" like almost everyone said- I wasn't totally insane! At the risk of sounding like I'm trying to convince people- it is hard to really draw the picture on here. I can put the dialogue but not really her expression or exactly how we were all standing etc. to make me feel even more like she was out of line.
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| Posted 8/27/12 10:38 AM |
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TessMike214
Gabriella Aubrey born 3/26!
Member since 5/10 2440 total posts
Name:
Tess
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
That would have bothered & annoyed me too! I probably would have said something too. (Honestly though, I would have been thinking the same thing that she said to you; I just wouldn't have vocalized it!)
Message edited 8/27/2012 1:21:59 PM.
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| Posted 8/27/12 10:59 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I welcome almost all interaction between people.
I don't think enough strangers chat and make conversation.
If someone tells my kid something, as long as it isn't something vulgar, i smile and say thanks.
i have 2 complete monkeys. i get comments all the time at parks about my petite 2 year old and what she is doing. i say she is a monkey, but thanks. then smile.
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| Posted 8/27/12 11:21 AM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I can see why your annoyed because you think that another mother questioned your judgement as a parent.
But I don't think that was what she was doing. She saw your son clinging on to the cage, and she told him to be careful. No biggie. She didn't yank his hand away, or yell at him (which would both be wrong in this situation).
She doesn't know the disposition of the bird, but neither do you. Accidents happen. She would be probably feel horribly remiss if she didn't say something to your son.
It might irk me a bit, but if I was right there and aware of my surroundings and what my son was doing, then I wouldn't let a comment like that bother me.
The fact that it still has you worked up a day later says to me that you are over-reacting a bit.
I'm sorry she ruffled your feathers.
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| Posted 8/27/12 11:34 AM |
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Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
one thing i have learned even if the child's safety is at risk - you keep your mouth shut. I have seen kids leaning over on shopping carts, running out in parking lots - everytime is said hold on or wait for mommy or don't do that you might be hurt i was yelled at for being a *****.
Message edited 8/27/2012 11:36:21 AM.
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| Posted 8/27/12 11:35 AM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by StayForever
I can see why your annoyed because you think that another mother questioned your judgement as a parent.
But I don't think that was what she was doing. She saw your son clinging on to the cage, and she told him to be careful. No biggie. She didn't yank his hand away, or yell at him (which would both be wrong in this situation).
She doesn't know the disposition of the bird, but neither do you. Accidents happen. She would be probably feel horribly remiss if she didn't say something to your son.
It might irk me a bit, but if I was right there and aware of my surroundings and what my son was doing, then I wouldn't let a comment like that bother me.
The fact that it still has you worked up a day later says to me that you are over-reacting a bit.
I'm sorry she ruffled your feathers.
 ruffled my feathers.
I was annoyed yesterday but the convo really didn't make it past the parking lot (the zoo was on the way out). Today it is history besides from me responding to posts on the thread explaining further.
To me, I MYOB unless I see serious/immediate danger b/c if I didn't say something and a child got really hurt I would be so guilty about it. I guess I didn't think this even came close to that level.
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| Posted 8/27/12 11:42 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
You overreacted. And to follow it up with "I'm a competent mom etc etc......" was unnecessary.
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| Posted 8/27/12 11:48 AM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by lynnd126
ruffled my feathers.
I was annoyed yesterday but the convo really didn't make it past the parking lot (the zoo was on the way out). Today it is history besides from me responding to posts on the thread explaining further.
To me, I MYOB unless I see serious/immediate danger b/c if I didn't say something and a child got really hurt I would be so guilty about it. I guess I didn't think this even came close to that level.
I'm glad you got my light-hearted humor
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| Posted 8/27/12 12:00 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I think you overreacted and are thinking way too much into it. As a mom of two I have become much more aware of all kids and the surrounding area. Not just my own
Just b.c a kid is doing something they shouldn't be doing I don't judge the mom at all. Kids are quick and defiant a lot of the times. I tell my kids to becareful, don't, touch, etc all the time. They don't always listen to me.
Just today at Target my 3 yr old kept standing in the cart and I told him to sit down several times and if he didn't he'd get in trouble. If another mom or employee said something to him about sitting as well I'd welcome the comment. Not that I want him to listen to strangers, but he usually does listen to others vs listening to his own mom. Sometimes when another mom or employee of a place where we are at says something I usually say.... See, I told you not to... Blah, blah, blah.
Only thing I was thinking was maybe she thought you told him to move his hands from the cage an he didn't. Again, I wasnt there and not judging you either for letting him. Just a mom's instinct now to watch out for your own kids and make sure others are safe. Plus. If my son was there and I didn't want him to do the wrong thing I wouldn't want him to follow in the other kids footsteps and put his hand I the cage too. Even if you say it was ok that he had his hands there I wouldn't know and want my son to do it.
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| Posted 8/27/12 12:05 PM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I think you over-racted.
Semi-related: I am not trying to be snarky but I never understand why some people post random stories like this. Even when I get annoyed the last thing I think is, let me post this on LI Families. Maybe someone can explain. Do some people (not necessarily the OP who I find to be rational) need to be validated with many events in their life? It's cool if they do but I cannot fathom the need to post random annoyances here. Again nothing against the OP.
Message edited 8/27/2012 12:13:21 PM.
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| Posted 8/27/12 12:12 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
the only time something like that bothers me is when I feel for a split second like "maybe I am making a wrong choice for his safety" then I get irritated and annoyed that somone pointed that out to me
the only reason why I can see her point is b/c a kid my son's age won't register a difference between this birds cage and the lair of the birds of Alfred Hitchcock. so by allowing them to touch the cage of one random bird that may be nice, it may open the door for a future killer bird accident.
sometimes we don't put forethought into some of the things we allow, it's human nature. but I do think it is always helpful for someone to make us question our judgment, even when we review and decide it IS the right thing for our child. I think it's always good to look at stuff with a new lens from time to time.
I have a dog issue. my son is NUTS for dogs. it's very hard trying to teach him why some dogs will be OK to touch and others not so much, especially bc we are not yet a dog family. its hard. navigating their curiosity in what can be a dangerous world. I try to think that most people are just concerned, and not assholes. lol
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| Posted 8/27/12 12:13 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by Ophelia
the only reason why I can see her point is b/c a kid my son's age won't register a difference between this birds cage and the lair of the birds of Alfred Hitchcock. so by allowing them to touch the cage of one random bird that may be nice, it may open the door for a future killer bird accident.
That is 100% a good reason that I should have moved his fingers myself- but again (I know I'm making the same point over and over) to me that is parenting and reserved for parents. If she said what she said and then something like "I saw the same type bird bite a child's face off yesterday", lol, I would put it into the "immediate danger" category.
DS is 2 1/2 so he already forgot yesterday's bird fingering- maybe I'll take him to white post soon and go into the birds so I can yell at him and make things right, lol.
Message edited 8/27/2012 12:20:16 PM.
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| Posted 8/27/12 12:18 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by MrsDrMatt
I think you over-racted.
Semi-related: I am not trying to be snarky but I never understand why some people post random stories like this. Even when I get annoyed the last thing I think is, let me post this on LI Families. Maybe someone can explain. Do some people (not necessarily the OP who I find to be rational) need to be validated with many events in their life? It's cool if they do but I cannot fathom the need to post random annoyances here. Again nothing against the OP.
I think I posted b/c I did feel like I possibly overreacted- so it wasn't so cut and dry to me that I was soooo right and she was soooo wrong. We had a 45 minute drive back and I knew I could get some opinions on here from a bunch of other mothers.
After reading the responses, I'll be honest, I still probably would have said something- but I would have said something different, like, "thanks, but don't worry- I'm here watching him". I think I was too annoyed in that moment to not say something.
ETA also because my dh was so not interested in hearing it beyond like 30 seconds
Message edited 8/27/2012 12:25:32 PM.
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| Posted 8/27/12 12:24 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I would have thanked her and moved on.
I don't know. Sounds to me like she was just trying to help.
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| Posted 8/27/12 12:25 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
Posted by DiamondGirl
I think you overreacted.
agree 100%!!!
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| Posted 8/27/12 12:26 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random mom's interaction with Ds and my response, just curious for opinions.
I do think you overreacted, and I do think your son's fingers shouldn't have been in the cage.
But you know what? If a mom had said something in the judgey, sort of holier than thou way you describe, I would have been totally annoyed too.
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| Posted 8/27/12 12:28 PM |
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