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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by newlywedT
removed
Ugghhhh this was removed just as I was reading it. lol.
I asked the same question as I don't get being that close and not hearing her say it at least one other time.
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Posted 11/6/15 2:19 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Daisy32
I'm surprised (but not shocked) at some of the responses you're getting here. I don't give a a flying f*** who you are, NO ONE yells at my child like that. And she's only 3?!?!?! No way!! There is NO EXCUSE for a stranger to yell at someone's kid. Period.
You're better than me bc I would have lost my mind.
And seriously give me a break - it was a pizza place not a 5 star restaurant. And I highly doubt she left the kid ALONE to eat. Lululu was 5 ft away. Get over yourselves. Nothing like kicking someone while they're down. I'm not saying you should blow smoke up someone's butt but seriously if someone yelled the way this old crank yelled and pointed at YOUR child in their face, I'm sure many would be singing a different tune.
I agree! I totally would have lost my shit.
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| Posted 11/6/15 3:50 PM |
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Teachergal
I'm going to be totally honest. I wouldn't have left my 3.5 year old alone to eat to begin with, especially not if she was having a bad day. I also wouldn't expect other patrons to move for me when they were already seated. I think sitting with your daughter might have prevented this from happening. However, if someone yelled at my kid, I would have responded nastily no matter what the situation. No one yells at my kid! Sorry it was a bad day. 
All of this.
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| Posted 11/6/15 7:45 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by MarisaK
Cranky old ladies don't get to yell at little girls - being old doesn't give you that right.
It's not like her 3 year old was screaming, carrying on, throwing food, crayons - whatever and disburbing these women. The fact that the mere presence of 3 year old chilren pissed her off - well too bad, they have just as much of a right to be in that pizzeria at 3, as you do, at 70!
A. You saw a group of moms walk into a pizzeria with a hoard of 3 year old children - you could have VERY easily picked yourself up and moved over. Did you HAVE to? No, of course not, but .......why stay there? On principal? So youi had a reason to ***** and complain about the kids?
B. You don't yell at someone else's child - ESCPEIALLY a 3 year old child. If she wat that bothered she should have gotten up and asked who the child's mother was and gave YOU sh*t about it - NOT your 3 year old kid.
ETA - I would have said - I'm sorry she backed her chair up into your coat, but don't yell at my child.
This. I am really shocked at some of these responses
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| Posted 11/6/15 8:25 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I don't care if my kid started stripping and peeing off the table while singing the hot dog dance
I would never ever yell at another persons child
And to get in her face and point and make her cry
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| Posted 11/6/15 8:32 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by gina409
I don't care if my kid started stripping and peeing off the table while singing the hot dog dance
I would never ever yell at another persons child
And to get in her face and point and make her cry
To me for this to happen the moms had to be pretty far away for no one to know what was going on and no mom to intercept beforehand.
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| Posted 11/6/15 9:16 PM |
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Meme729
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/11 547 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I would have been really upset if someone spoke to my child like that. I understand the ladies should not have to move BUT it's common courtesy. I find many people to be rude to parents with young children. I don't think there was anything wrong with the children sitting at a table together. It's not like you left them on the other side of the restaurant.
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| Posted 11/6/15 10:42 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
I don't care if my kid started stripping and peeing off the table while singing the hot dog dance
I would never ever yell at another persons child
And to get in her face and point and make her cry
To me for this to happen the moms had to be pretty far away for no one to know what was going on and no mom to intercept beforehand.
Nope! It seems like a couple of posters find it hard to believe but I was only a couple of feet away, it was VERY loud, none of us heard her tell my daughter to stop and it all happened very quickly as I had just walked away! I don't know why this is so impossible to believe but if you do believe me does that change your perception? I was not in any way neglecting or endangering my child.
Message edited 11/7/2015 7:43:48 AM.
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| Posted 11/7/15 7:43 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by afternoondelight828
I am much younger and have less tolerance now that my kids are older, sorry. I know what I went through with my kids and see how others (again, not aiming it towards you as I was not there to see what really happened) act in public with their kids and it is getting worse and worse, IMO with parents ignoring their kids and thinking that they can do whatever they want as they are "just kids" or they are their "precious angels" (again not you, just in general).
I actually find this sad and I hope that it doesn't happen to me. I clearly have young children but I work very hard to make sure my kids behave in public, but kids have bad days, parents have bad days. I am sure you have been there. Why not give the benefit of the doubt before sitting on your high horse and judging people? I just think as women and mothers we should support each other, no matter how old our children are. Because we have all been there or will be there at some point or another.
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| Posted 11/7/15 7:50 AM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by lululu
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
I don't care if my kid started stripping and peeing off the table while singing the hot dog dance
I would never ever yell at another persons child
And to get in her face and point and make her cry
To me for this to happen the moms had to be pretty far away for no one to know what was going on and no mom to intercept beforehand.
Nope! It seems like a couple of posters find it hard to believe but I was only a couple of feet away, it was VERY loud, none of us heard her tell my daughter to stop and it all happened very quickly as I had just walked away! I don't know why this is so impossible to believe but if you do believe me does that change your perception? I was not in any way neglecting or endangering my child.
I haven't posted on this thread yet because I agree with the majority and sort of felt like you got the point and another voice wouldn't add anything. But I want to say a few things.
OP:
1. I believe you about the layout of the place (pizza places around here can be tight in the front) but it doesn't change anything about whether or not it was a good idea. If you were really that close to her it must have been pretty cramped, and with that plus a stranger between you in tight quarters you couldn't really have reacted quickly if she needed you, the likelihood of which was only higher than usual because she was having a bad day. Also, you said it was loud, which must have made it harder to discern what was going on and whether you were needed.
2. None of the above makes you a bad mom at all. We ALL have our moments. Your daughter has long forgotten about the whole thing!
3. To actually answer your question, I would have said something like "I am sorry my daughter got a mark on your jacket. I wish you had said something to me. I got this from here" and I would have made sure my daughter was right next to me from there on.
To others:
Not sure what what is so shocking about some of the responses. Most if not all agree that the woman shouldn't have yelled at her daughter. That's been made clear. What was the OP supposed to do? Punch her in the face? Scream at her? Neither of those things puts her DD first. There are ways to descalate a situation and still make a point. That's what was called for here.
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| Posted 11/7/15 11:25 AM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by JennP
Posted by lululu
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
I don't care if my kid started stripping and peeing off the table while singing the hot dog dance
I would never ever yell at another persons child
And to get in her face and point and make her cry
To me for this to happen the moms had to be pretty far away for no one to know what was going on and no mom to intercept beforehand.
Nope! It seems like a couple of posters find it hard to believe but I was only a couple of feet away, it was VERY loud, none of us heard her tell my daughter to stop and it all happened very quickly as I had just walked away! I don't know why this is so impossible to believe but if you do believe me does that change your perception? I was not in any way neglecting or endangering my child.
I haven't posted on this thread yet because I agree with the majority and sort of felt like you got the point and another voice wouldn't add anything. But I want to say a few things.
OP:
1. I believe you about the layout of the place (pizza places around here can be tight in the front) but it doesn't change anything about whether or not it was a good idea. If you were really that close to her it must have been pretty cramped, and with that plus a stranger between you in tight quarters you couldn't really have reacted quickly if she needed you, the likelihood of which was only higher than usual because she was having a bad day. Also, you said it was loud, which must have made it harder to discern what was going on and whether you were needed.
2. None of the above makes you a bad mom at all. We ALL have our moments. Your daughter has long forgotten about the whole thing!
3. To actually answer your question, I would have said something like "I am sorry my daughter got a mark on your jacket. I wish you had said something to me. I got this from here" and I would have made sure my daughter was right next to me from there on.
To others:
Not sure what what is so shocking about some of the responses. Most if not all agree that the woman shouldn't have yelled at her daughter. That's been made clear. What was the OP supposed to do? Punch her in the face? Scream at her? Neither of those things puts her DD first. There are ways to descalate a situation and still make a point. That's what was called for here.
I agree completely.
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| Posted 11/7/15 11:33 AM |
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
I don't care if my kid started stripping and peeing off the table while singing the hot dog dance
I would never ever yell at another persons child
And to get in her face and point and make her cry
To me for this to happen the moms had to be pretty far away for no one to know what was going on and no mom to intercept beforehand.
I have to agree. It seems she asked her a few times before yelling at her (which was totally uncalled for IMO and she should have gone to the mothers at the other table).
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| Posted 11/7/15 11:50 AM |
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I am much younger and have less tolerance now that my kids are older, sorry. I know what I went through with my kids and see how others (again, not aiming it towards you as I was not there to see what really happened) act in public with their kids and it is getting worse and worse, IMO with parents ignoring their kids and thinking that they can do whatever they want as they are "just kids" or they are their "precious angels" (again not you, just in general).
I actually find this sad and I hope that it doesn't happen to me. I clearly have young children but I work very hard to make sure my kids behave in public, but kids have bad days, parents have bad days. I am sure you have been there. Why not give the benefit of the doubt before sitting on your high horse and judging people? I just think as women and mothers we should support each other, no matter how old our children are. Because we have all been there or will be there at some point or another.
Oh believe me I do get it and totally understand that everyone has bad days. I ALWAYS take that in account.
I have to tell you though, I was out last night at an eatery. The tables were close but there was a table of 2 parents and a bunch of kids (I don't think they were all their own kids, probably friends of their kids). At first it was ok that the kids were loud as they were talking and having fun. No problem. After awhile it was VERY annoying that they were letting these kids act like they were in their own living room. There is NO need for high pitched screams (especially as these kids were older, like 10/11) with no one saying a word.
Not saying you did not respect the older women (as it surely does not sound like that at all) but many people think that others should just "deal" with their kids because THEY want to go out and continue living their lives like they used to before kids.
This is just my experience and getting older, I am experiencing more and more bad behaviors from kids and parents.
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| Posted 11/7/15 11:55 AM |
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by JennP
Posted by lululu
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
I don't care if my kid started stripping and peeing off the table while singing the hot dog dance
I would never ever yell at another persons child
And to get in her face and point and make her cry
To me for this to happen the moms had to be pretty far away for no one to know what was going on and no mom to intercept beforehand.
Nope! It seems like a couple of posters find it hard to believe but I was only a couple of feet away, it was VERY loud, none of us heard her tell my daughter to stop and it all happened very quickly as I had just walked away! I don't know why this is so impossible to believe but if you do believe me does that change your perception? I was not in any way neglecting or endangering my child.
I haven't posted on this thread yet because I agree with the majority and sort of felt like you got the point and another voice wouldn't add anything. But I want to say a few things.
OP:
1. I believe you about the layout of the place (pizza places around here can be tight in the front) but it doesn't change anything about whether or not it was a good idea. If you were really that close to her it must have been pretty cramped, and with that plus a stranger between you in tight quarters you couldn't really have reacted quickly if she needed you, the likelihood of which was only higher than usual because she was having a bad day. Also, you said it was loud, which must have made it harder to discern what was going on and whether you were needed.
2. None of the above makes you a bad mom at all. We ALL have our moments. Your daughter has long forgotten about the whole thing!
3. To actually answer your question, I would have said something like "I am sorry my daughter got a mark on your jacket. I wish you had said something to me. I got this from here" and I would have made sure my daughter was right next to me from there on.
To others:
Not sure what what is so shocking about some of the responses. Most if not all agree that the woman shouldn't have yelled at her daughter. That's been made clear. What was the OP supposed to do? Punch her in the face? Scream at her? Neither of those things puts her DD first. There are ways to descalate a situation and still make a point. That's what was called for here.
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| Posted 11/7/15 11:56 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by JennP
Posted by lululu
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
I don't care if my kid started stripping and peeing off the table while singing the hot dog dance
I would never ever yell at another persons child
And to get in her face and point and make her cry
To me for this to happen the moms had to be pretty far away for no one to know what was going on and no mom to intercept beforehand.
Nope! It seems like a couple of posters find it hard to believe but I was only a couple of feet away, it was VERY loud, none of us heard her tell my daughter to stop and it all happened very quickly as I had just walked away! I don't know why this is so impossible to believe but if you do believe me does that change your perception? I was not in any way neglecting or endangering my child.
I haven't posted on this thread yet because I agree with the majority and sort of felt like you got the point and another voice wouldn't add anything. But I want to say a few things.
OP:
1. I believe you about the layout of the place (pizza places around here can be tight in the front) but it doesn't change anything about whether or not it was a good idea. If you were really that close to her it must have been pretty cramped, and with that plus a stranger between you in tight quarters you couldn't really have reacted quickly if she needed you, the likelihood of which was only higher than usual because she was having a bad day. Also, you said it was loud, which must have made it harder to discern what was going on and whether you were needed.
2. None of the above makes you a bad mom at all. We ALL have our moments. Your daughter has long forgotten about the whole thing!
3. To actually answer your question, I would have said something like "I am sorry my daughter got a mark on your jacket. I wish you had said something to me. I got this from here" and I would have made sure my daughter was right next to me from there on.
To others:
Not sure what what is so shocking about some of the responses. Most if not all agree that the woman shouldn't have yelled at her daughter. That's been made clear. What was the OP supposed to do? Punch her in the face? Scream at her? Neither of those things puts her DD first. There are ways to descalate a situation and still make a point. That's what was called for here.
For me what I found shocking was how more attention was paid to the 30 seconds she left her child than to the fact a woman pointed and yelled in a three years old
Face.
I guess I'm the minority
Message edited 11/7/2015 12:59:29 PM.
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| Posted 11/7/15 12:59 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by gina409
Posted by JennP
Posted by lululu
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
I don't care if my kid started stripping and peeing off the table while singing the hot dog dance
I would never ever yell at another persons child
And to get in her face and point and make her cry
To me for this to happen the moms had to be pretty far away for no one to know what was going on and no mom to intercept beforehand.
Nope! It seems like a couple of posters find it hard to believe but I was only a couple of feet away, it was VERY loud, none of us heard her tell my daughter to stop and it all happened very quickly as I had just walked away! I don't know why this is so impossible to believe but if you do believe me does that change your perception? I was not in any way neglecting or endangering my child.
I haven't posted on this thread yet because I agree with the majority and sort of felt like you got the point and another voice wouldn't add anything. But I want to say a few things.
OP:
1. I believe you about the layout of the place (pizza places around here can be tight in the front) but it doesn't change anything about whether or not it was a good idea. If you were really that close to her it must have been pretty cramped, and with that plus a stranger between you in tight quarters you couldn't really have reacted quickly if she needed you, the likelihood of which was only higher than usual because she was having a bad day. Also, you said it was loud, which must have made it harder to discern what was going on and whether you were needed.
2. None of the above makes you a bad mom at all. We ALL have our moments. Your daughter has long forgotten about the whole thing!
3. To actually answer your question, I would have said something like "I am sorry my daughter got a mark on your jacket. I wish you had said something to me. I got this from here" and I would have made sure my daughter was right next to me from there on.
To others:
Not sure what what is so shocking about some of the responses. Most if not all agree that the woman shouldn't have yelled at her daughter. That's been made clear. What was the OP supposed to do? Punch her in the face? Scream at her? Neither of those things puts her DD first. There are ways to descalate a situation and still make a point. That's what was called for here.
For me what I found shocking was how more attention was paid to the 30 seconds she left her child than to the fact a woman pointed and yelled in a three years old
Face.
I guess I'm the minority
Hands down best thing said on this thread so far 
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| Posted 11/7/15 1:41 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by gina409
For me what I found shocking was how more attention was paid to the 30 seconds she left her child than to the fact a woman pointed and yelled in a three years old
Face.
I guess I'm the minority
That all could not have happened in 30 seconds. Clearly had to be much more plus the reality is the three year olds were sat alone at a table to eat.
Message edited 11/7/2015 9:47:30 PM.
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| Posted 11/7/15 9:47 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by lululu
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
I don't care if my kid started stripping and peeing off the table while singing the hot dog dance
I would never ever yell at another persons child
And to get in her face and point and make her cry
To me for this to happen the moms had to be pretty far away for no one to know what was going on and no mom to intercept beforehand.
Nope! It seems like a couple of posters find it hard to believe but I was only a couple of feet away, it was VERY loud, none of us heard her tell my daughter to stop and it all happened very quickly as I had just walked away! I don't know why this is so impossible to believe but if you do believe me does that change your perception? I was not in any way neglecting or endangering my child.
I believe you but your own statements keep implicating the choices that were made as the CAUSE of the issue. If it was too loud, then again, the 3 year olds should not have been sat alone without adults. If the view of them was blocked, it was too loud to hear, or you were too far away (you say you were not) then it was all bad choices. Simple solution, looking back, was moms and kids should have split up. End of story.
I have to be honest and say again, while I don't think the woman should have yelled, it must have been pretty frustrating to see moms hanging together and leaving their 3 year olds alone to eat. And you can't keep saying you were close by. Apparently the fact that you were "close" did not seem to help since you were unaware of anything going on until your child got screamed at. I don't mean to attack, you asked so we are responding.
Message edited 11/7/2015 9:52:09 PM.
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| Posted 11/7/15 9:49 PM |
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
For me what I found shocking was how more attention was paid to the 30 seconds she left her child than to the fact a woman pointed and yelled in a three years old
Face.
I guess I'm the minority
That all could not have happened in 30 seconds. Clearly had to be much more plus the reality is the three year olds were sat alone at a table to eat.
Even if it was 5 minutes, it's not the 3 year olds fault that they were at the table alone! To me that just doesn't justify screaming at a young kid like that. if anything the mother should have been addressed.
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| Posted 11/7/15 10:02 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I would have been angry for someone yelling at my child and pointing in their face but in this circumstance I would not have said anything. A 3 year old and friends have no business sitting at their own table especially if it was not directly next to yours. I do not know any 3 year olds that are mature enough to be taking care of themselves in a restaurant. The whole situation would have been avoided if the parents were sitting with their children. Now if I was sitting with my child and the woman came over and yelled at her, she would have my foot up her ass.
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| Posted 11/7/15 10:13 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by NoPlaceLikeHome
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
For me what I found shocking was how more attention was paid to the 30 seconds she left her child than to the fact a woman pointed and yelled in a three years old
Face.
I guess I'm the minority
That all could not have happened in 30 seconds. Clearly had to be much more plus the reality is the three year olds were sat alone at a table to eat.
Even if it was 5 minutes, it's not the 3 year olds fault that they were at the table alone! To me that just doesn't justify screaming at a young kid like that. if anything the mother should have been addressed.
This! And the mom says it was 30 seconds and I'm going off that
But I still stick with my original
Sentiment. If it was 5 minutes or a hour I deal with the parent. I don't scream at the kid
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| Posted 11/8/15 12:49 AM |
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by NoPlaceLikeHome
Posted by Goobster
Posted by gina409
For me what I found shocking was how more attention was paid to the 30 seconds she left her child than to the fact a woman pointed and yelled in a three years old
Face.
I guess I'm the minority
That all could not have happened in 30 seconds. Clearly had to be much more plus the reality is the three year olds were sat alone at a table to eat.
Even if it was 5 minutes, it's not the 3 year olds fault that they were at the table alone! To me that just doesn't justify screaming at a young kid like that. if anything the mother should have been addressed.
I agree but I start to wonder if the woman tried to get the attention of the mother(s) and couldn't and decided to just tell the kid.
I would think most people would tell the child the first or second time and then go and tell the adult with them.
I can't see this all playing out in 30 seconds, no matter how "grouchy" this woman was.
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| Posted 11/8/15 9:16 AM |
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I don't think she should have yelled at your child; I'm sure there was another way to handle this situation. However, it probably did happen multiple times, and you have to account for that. I think there's responsibility on both ends here.
I'm a bit more confused as to why you think these ladies would move for you. Yes, you are walking into the pizza place saying, "Okay, I need to find adjoining tables for all of us." If I see you walking in, how am I supposed to know that is your goal? Am I reading the minds of all patrons who walk through the door?
You are walking in with your children, so your focus is on their needs; that is not everyone's focus, however.
Also...not directed at anyone in particular...is 70 really THAT old? I feel like we are discussing crotchety bicentenarians here.
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| Posted 11/8/15 10:15 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by oldtimerocknroll
I don't think she should have yelled at your child; I'm sure there was another way to handle this situation. However, it probably did happen multiple times, and you have to account for that. I think there's responsibility on both ends here.
I'm a bit more confused as to why you think these ladies would move for you. Yes, you are walking into the pizza place saying, "Okay, I need to find adjoining tables for all of us." If I see you walking in, how am I supposed to know that is your goal? Am I reading the minds of all patrons who walk through the door?
You are walking in with your children, so your focus is on their needs; that is not everyone's focus, however.
Also...not directed at anyone in particular...is 70 really THAT old? I feel like we are discussing crotchety bicentenarians here.
I agree about being confused about expecting the ladies to move. Especially the words thrown around like "common courtesy". Expecting someone to move to accommodate your needs sounds very entitled. I feel like this is a reason why threads about kids at restaurants get so out of control.
The lady should NOT have screamed at your DD, but let's take that part of the story out and you can feel like you should've screamed at her. IMHO You were wrong for expecting the ladies to move and being annoyed at that, you guys were wrong for having all the kids sit together alone next to the ladies. And yes I get that your baby was having a bad day and she is only 3 but she is your responsibility. A patron should not have to deal with that. Had she not screamed at your DD, would you have apologized and see what you did wrong? I feel like you don't see the part you did wrong and keep harping on the older lady.
Btw saying that you should have been sitting next to your DD is not the same as saying you were neglecting her. I just think a table full of young kids sitting alone is disaster waiting to happen. Kids can be annoying including our sweet little angels that we love so much!
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| Posted 11/8/15 11:28 AM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I'm curious as to what happened after you said to the lady "she's three!". Did I miss that part?
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| Posted 11/8/15 11:51 AM |
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