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Katareen
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Katherine
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How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I agree that she shouldn't have yelled that your child.
However as a mother of young children myself, I would've been annoyed if parents sat separately from their preschool age children and one of them was bothering me. It seems as though she asked your daughter to stop doing what she was doing a few times and she didn't listen.
I also don't think you can sit at a separate table AND use the excuse that she's three. That pretty much means you should be sitting with her in the first place.
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Posted 11/5/15 8:37 AM  |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I think she was wrong to raise her voice to your DD, but ultimately you were wrong for leaving 3 year olds by themselves. She said she was asking your DD not to keep doing that, so she most likely raised her voice when your DD didn't listen the first few times since she's 3 and probably didn't understand, but that's your fault IMO.
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| Posted 11/5/15 8:49 AM |
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MrsB12614
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1986 total posts
Name:
Mrs
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How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
All I can say is I would be beyond pissed and would have made my feelings known. People really need to MYOB- you were clearing getting up to address the situation.
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| Posted 11/5/15 8:59 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Katareen
I agree that she shouldn't have yelled that your child.
However as a mother of young children myself, I would've been annoyed if parents sat separately from their preschool age children and one of them was bothering me. It seems as though she asked your daughter to stop doing what she was doing a few times and she didn't listen.
I also don't think you can sit at a separate table AND use the excuse that she's three. That pretty much means you should be sitting with her in the first place.
I completely agree.
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| Posted 11/5/15 9:02 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I would have been livid if someone yelled at my child. Not sure what I would have done or said.
That being said, I would never let my children sit at their own table in a restaurant. They are hard enough to keep quiet and still when they are sitting with us. Too me that is asking for trouble.
I''m not a fan of going out to eat with my kids - they are well behaved for the most part, but I am always worried about them doing something to piss some crabby person off and then me losing my shiit because they said something to my child.
Message edited 11/5/2015 9:20:25 AM.
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| Posted 11/5/15 9:19 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by Katareen
I agree that she shouldn't have yelled that your child.
However as a mother of young children myself, I would've been annoyed if parents sat separately from their preschool age children and one of them was bothering me. It seems as though she asked your daughter to stop doing what she was doing a few times and she didn't listen.
I also don't think you can sit at a separate table AND use the excuse that she's three. That pretty much means you should be sitting with her in the first place.
I completely agree.
I agree with this too.
I have a DS who is 3.5 years old too. He can be pretty well behaved but also has his moments. There is no way I would leave him sitting alone at a table in a restaurant. I get nervous just turning my back to order the food bc you never know what they're going to do at this age.
Yes, the woman probably could have handled it better but i think it is possible she didn't know who the child's mother was since you weren't sitting right there. Ultimately, i think the incident was your fault for leaving her where you couldn't immediately intervene and control her behavior.
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| Posted 11/5/15 9:28 AM |
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Milerose
MY BABY!
Member since 9/06 4161 total posts
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R
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How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I would not have left my child to sit alone at that age but I would have not been happy at all to have someone yell at my DH. How dare she to be honest. She could have approached you. I would have went off on her to be honest.
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| Posted 11/5/15 9:52 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Chai77
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by Katareen
I agree that she shouldn't have yelled that your child.
However as a mother of young children myself, I would've been annoyed if parents sat separately from their preschool age children and one of them was bothering me. It seems as though she asked your daughter to stop doing what she was doing a few times and she didn't listen.
I also don't think you can sit at a separate table AND use the excuse that she's three. That pretty much means you should be sitting with her in the first place.
I completely agree.
I agree with this too.
I have a DS who is 3.5 years old too. He can be pretty well behaved but also has his moments. There is no way I would leave him sitting alone at a table in a restaurant. I get nervous just turning my back to order the food bc you never know what they're going to do at this age.
Yes, the woman probably could have handled it better but i think it is possible she didn't know who the child's mother was since you weren't sitting right there. Ultimately, i think the incident was your fault for leaving her where you couldn't immediately intervene and control her behavior.
Yes I totally get what everyone is saying and I do think that I probably shouldn't have walked away on this particular day, however, she was never more than about 5 feet away from me, we do this all the time at this pizza place as do others - it's super casual because there are only a few tables in the front. Also, what she did that had the woman so mad was to push her chair back from the table a little and it rubbed against the back of the woman's chair. And I had literally left her no more than 30 seconds prior, I had just sat down when I had to get back up, so she couldn't have asked her to stop more than once in that time frame before she started yelling at her and me.
But, it's true, I did learn my lesson, if the tables are not adjacent then I will never leave her again. It was incredibly humiliating to have my child and myself berated in this way. I guess in reality it's more of a reflection on this woman. Honestly if I was sitting somewhere and a large group came in, be it adults and children or all adults, and all I had to do was move my glass of wine to the next table over, I would be happy to do it! It's such a shame that people view that as such an inconvenience. I just wish that people in this area were a little bit kinder to one another.
Oh also just want to add, this is really not a restaurant. It's a pizza place. It's the pizza equivalent of McDonalds. It is not fancy or even close to a nice place! The back room which was closed for renovations is the more restaurant part. Front part where we were is paper plates, plastic utensils and paper cups!
Message edited 11/5/2015 10:07:44 AM.
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| Posted 11/5/15 10:04 AM |
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melbalalala
Little Lady
Member since 5/07 5015 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Teachergal
I'm going to be totally honest. I wouldn't have left my 3.5 year old alone to eat to begin with, especially not if she was having a bad day. I also wouldn't expect other patrons to move for me when they were already seated. I think sitting with your daughter might have prevented this from happening. However, if someone yelled at my kid, I would have responded nastily no matter what the situation. No one yells at my kid! Sorry it was a bad day. 
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| Posted 11/5/15 1:43 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I'm going to post before reading any of the other responses..
my first thought up on reading your post was 'no, these women should not have known to move, unless they were politely asked by either you or a waiter'. It's not up to everyone else to be attuned to moms and kids and what their seating preferences might be.
My second thought was, if you couldn't get 2 tables together, why did you bother sitting down in the first place? IMO, you guys were putting those 2 women in an awful spot - having a table of 3 year olds on one side of them, with their moms on the other? That's just asking for them to be put in the middle of the constant 'mom, mom, mom' questions and moving around that comes from toddlers.
Thirdly - if you knew your daughter was super cranky that day, maybe you could have sat with her to help alleviate any issues.
All of this doesn't excuse the woman yelling at your daughter however.
But you didn't say what happened after... After you said 'she's 3' what happened then? Did they go back to eating, you went back to eating and everything was fine?
And no, i would not say anything to this woman if you ever see her again. Chances are, she's not going to remember and you'll just cause an unnecessary fight.
Was her jacket actually damaged btw?
Now, i'm going to go read all the responses and see if i'm a jerk for thinking all this.. 
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| Posted 11/5/15 1:54 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I'm surprised (but not shocked) at some of the responses you're getting here. I don't give a a flying f*** who you are, NO ONE yells at my child like that. And she's only 3?!?!?! No way!! There is NO EXCUSE for a stranger to yell at someone's kid. Period.
You're better than me bc I would have lost my mind.
And seriously give me a break - it was a pizza place not a 5 star restaurant. And I highly doubt she left the kid ALONE to eat. Lululu was 5 ft away. Get over yourselves. Nothing like kicking someone while they're down. I'm not saying you should blow smoke up someone's butt but seriously if someone yelled the way this old crank yelled and pointed at YOUR child in their face, I'm sure many would be singing a different tune.
Message edited 11/5/2015 2:16:13 PM.
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| Posted 11/5/15 2:09 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Your response "She's 3" would have been exactly what I would have said. I probably would have apologized for the dirt on her coat as well.
If there is a reason to reprimand my child, I'm okay with it. However, to take it to a level where you make a kid cry is not okay and it's not your place. Take it up with mom.
Over the summer, we were at a restaurant on the beach. After the hostess seated us at the picnic table (just want to paint a pic so you know this wasn't some swanky place), we let the kids play in the sand directly next to our table. They were nowhere near other patrons as this lady sat us in a very far corner. Any little thing any of the kids did, she immediately ran over to reprimand them. Finally, after the 3rd time, I said "Excuse me. I got it. You go do your job and I'll do mine." I'm all over my kid so I found it extremely obnoxious and unnecessary. Playing in the sand kept them quiet while we waited over an hour for our crappy beach food.
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| Posted 11/5/15 2:17 PM |
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ohbaby08
Winter is Coming
Member since 10/07 1718 total posts
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Daisy32
I'm surprised (but not shocked) at some of the responses you're getting here. I don't give a a flying f*** who you are, NO ONE yells at my child like that. And she's only 3?!?!?! No way!! There is NO EXCUSE for a stranger to yell at someone's kid. Period.
You're better than me bc I would have lost my mind.
And seriously give me a break - it was a pizza place not a 5 star restaurant. And I highly doubt she left the kid ALONE to eat. Lululu was 5 ft away. Get over yourselves. Nothing like kicking someone while they're down. I'm not saying you should blow smoke up someone's butt but seriously if someone yelled the way this old crank yelled and pointed at YOUR child in their face, I'm sure many would be singing a different tune.
Simmer down there.
Perhaps these women normally sit in the restaurant part of the place, but had no choice but to sit up front in the casual part because the back was closed.
Everyone has said they don't agree with her yelling at the child, I don't think that is being disputed. But, logic would be to not even put yourself or these women in this situation. Even if you normally sit with the moms and the kids sit together, this particular day had different circumstances, so you sit with your kid this one time. Problem solved.
You seem more bothered by the responses than the OP 
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| Posted 11/5/15 2:41 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I think that old crab could have most certaily handled herself better.
Like you said...lesson learned. I think you handled it just fine and unless she had the nerve to say something to me if we ran into each other again, I wouldn't even look her way.
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| Posted 11/5/15 2:45 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by ohbaby08
Posted by Daisy32
I'm surprised (but not shocked) at some of the responses you're getting here. I don't give a a flying f*** who you are, NO ONE yells at my child like that. And she's only 3?!?!?! No way!! There is NO EXCUSE for a stranger to yell at someone's kid. Period.
You're better than me bc I would have lost my mind.
And seriously give me a break - it was a pizza place not a 5 star restaurant. And I highly doubt she left the kid ALONE to eat. Lululu was 5 ft away. Get over yourselves. Nothing like kicking someone while they're down. I'm not saying you should blow smoke up someone's butt but seriously if someone yelled the way this old crank yelled and pointed at YOUR child in their face, I'm sure many would be singing a different tune.
Simmer down there.
Perhaps these women normally sit in the restaurant part of the place, but had no choice but to sit up front in the casual part because the back was closed.
Everyone has said they don't agree with her yelling at the child, I don't think that is being disputed. But, logic would be to not even put yourself or these women in this situation. Even if you normally sit with the moms and the kids sit together, this particular day had different circumstances, so you sit with your kid this one time. Problem solved.
You seem more bothered by the responses than the OP
As all these women are entitled to their opinion, I am entitled to mine. And obviously she was bothered by the situation or she would not have posted. I stand by my opinion that many here would have a much different response if they were in her shoes.
And quite honestly, she wasn't asking for opinions of where she or her child sat...she was asking how we would handle that crabby witch who made her kid cry
Message edited 11/5/2015 3:57:16 PM.
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| Posted 11/5/15 3:43 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Accidentally bump the table so the wine spills on her shirt 
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| Posted 11/5/15 3:49 PM |
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
How close are these tables if you were only 5 feet away?
There were only 3 tables?
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| Posted 11/5/15 3:57 PM |
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olive98
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/12 791 total posts
Name:
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How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Sorry but I think you were wrong. I would have never left my 3.5 year old at another table. Not only can kids unsupervised be disruptive to other people, but its dangerous. I would never expect anyone to move for me. I would have politely asked.
Yes she probably shouldn't have yelled at your daughter, but that would have not happened if you were sitting with her.
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| Posted 11/5/15 4:00 PM |
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
"So I walked away from her and went to sit down and about 30 seconds later I hear her start to cry. I IMMEDIATELY got up and went over to see what the problem was and I see one of the woman pointing in her face and yelling at her "I TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING THAT!!! You made my coat all dirty!!!! You shouldn't have done that!!!" My daughter then started crying even harder and the woman turns to me and says "She kept rubbing her chair against mine and it left a mark on my jacket!!!" The chairs in this place are REALLY tight. If two adults are sitting back to back it's almost impossible for the chairs to not touch. My daughter clearly had no idea, being that she is THREE that pushing her chair back would cause the chair to rub against this woman's jacket and leave a mark."
How many times in 30 seconds did she tell her to stop though? Seems like it was not the first time she did it and you never heard her being that close to the kids table?
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| Posted 11/5/15 5:16 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
You were 100% wrong leaving a 3 yo, in a bad mood, alone with other 3 year olds.
That lady is obnoxious among many other things, but this is on you.
I would think she yelled at your child because she was angry with you.
To add; I find many elderly people have zero patience for kids for some reason. You get dirty looks for even the slightest noise/ interruption
Message edited 11/5/2015 5:24:37 PM.
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| Posted 11/5/15 5:17 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Otherme
I'm going to post before reading any of the other responses..
my first thought up on reading your post was 'no, these women should not have known to move, unless they were politely asked by either you or a waiter'. It's not up to everyone else to be attuned to moms and kids and what their seating preferences might be.
My second thought was, if you couldn't get 2 tables together, why did you bother sitting down in the first place? IMO, you guys were putting those 2 women in an awful spot - having a table of 3 year olds on one side of them, with their moms on the other? That's just asking for them to be put in the middle of the constant 'mom, mom, mom' questions and moving around that comes from toddlers.
Thirdly - if you knew your daughter was super cranky that day, maybe you could have sat with her to help alleviate any issues.
All of this doesn't excuse the woman yelling at your daughter however.
But you didn't say what happened after... After you said 'she's 3' what happened then? Did they go back to eating, you went back to eating and everything was fine?
And no, i would not say anything to this woman if you ever see her again. Chances are, she's not going to remember and you'll just cause an unnecessary fight.
Was her jacket actually damaged btw?
Now, i'm going to go read all the responses and see if i'm a jerk for thinking all this..
Agree
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| Posted 11/5/15 5:23 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Daisy32
I'm surprised (but not shocked) at some of the responses you're getting here. I don't give a a flying f*** who you are, NO ONE yells at my child like that. And she's only 3?!?!?! No way!! There is NO EXCUSE for a stranger to yell at someone's kid. Period.
You're better than me bc I would have lost my mind.
And seriously give me a break - it was a pizza place not a 5 star restaurant. And I highly doubt she left the kid ALONE to eat. Lululu was 5 ft away. Get over yourselves. Nothing like kicking someone while they're down. I'm not saying you should blow smoke up someone's butt but seriously if someone yelled the way this old crank yelled and pointed at YOUR child in their face, I'm sure many would be singing a different tune.
Common sense. I'm not talking about OP, but If you leave your child in a situation like that, it is likely someone will say something rude/ nasty/ uncalled for. People have no patience for anything really. I've seen parents yelling at kids on the playground Bc their parents were not paying attention or not around. I feel bad for the kids being yelled at but hello parents!!!
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| Posted 11/5/15 5:28 PM |
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
Posted by Millie3
You were 100% wrong leaving a 3 yo, in a bad mood, alone with other 3 year olds.
That lady is obnoxious among many other things, but this is on you.
I would think she yelled at your child because she was angry with you.
To add; I find many elderly people have zero patience for kids for some reason. You get dirty looks for even the slightest noise/ interruption
I have to say that while I am not elderly, my kids are older and I have lost patience with many younger kids, mostly because of their parents not paying attention to them. I was the type of parent who did not want my kids bothering strangers and maybe I was more "on top" of them then other parents but I felt that was my job so they wouldn't be bothersome or get hurt. To me socializing with other mothers was less important at that point in my life.
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| Posted 11/5/15 6:03 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
I'm a very strong believer in "agreeing to disagree".....but some of you are unbelievable. 
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| Posted 11/5/15 9:18 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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How would you handle this? Stranger yelling at DC
She definitely had no right to yell at your dd, but I would not have let my 3,yo dd sit by herself at a restaurant.
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| Posted 11/6/15 7:00 AM |
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