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Holding Child Back

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Merf99
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

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Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by Jacksmommy

As a teacher and someone who was the youngest person in her grade, I would not hold ds back. As a hs teacher, I have never noticed the month a child was born in. It all evens out eventually. The real problem is the expectations being set on kindergarten students and not allowing them to play and explore. And my theory is someone is always going to be the youngest. If, like a pp mentioned before, everyone holds their kids back a year, then there is still going to be someone that is young. As a child the only time it bothered me to be the youngest was when everyone was driving and I was not.



Really? I'm surprised you've never noticed a difference from one child who's born say Jan to nov. Only because dd's k teacher and her tutor who is a 1st grade teacher both told me they can almost always tell who is olde and younger. Not sure what grade you teach - maybe it's more evident in tgr younger grades.

Posted 12/26/12 3:05 AM
 

Jacksmommy
My love muffin!

Member since 1/07

5819 total posts

Name:
Liz

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by Merf99

Posted by Jacksmommy

As a teacher and someone who was the youngest person in her grade, I would not hold ds back. As a hs teacher, I have never noticed the month a child was born in. It all evens out eventually. The real problem is the expectations being set on kindergarten students and not allowing them to play and explore. And my theory is someone is always going to be the youngest. If, like a pp mentioned before, everyone holds their kids back a year, then there is still going to be someone that is young. As a child the only time it bothered me to be the youngest was when everyone was driving and I was not.



Really? I'm surprised you've never noticed a difference from one child who's born say Jan to nov. Only because dd's k teacher and her tutor who is a 1st grade teacher both told me they can almost always tell who is olde and younger. Not sure what grade you teach - maybe it's more evident in tgr younger grades.

. I teach hs. By then it all evens out. It usually evens out by second grade (as I taught that grade as well and never noticed). And I have a ds born in sept and will not be holding him back but I do know there are kids who are going to be a FULL year older than him and I think that's not right personally!

Posted 12/26/12 7:33 AM
 

BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!

Member since 11/08

8346 total posts

Name:
Kristie

Re: Holding Child Back

my DD was the cut off date for our district. I decided to send her to school on time. Socially she was and still is behind her class and gets involved more with the kids in the grade below her. Academically she is one of the smartest kids in her class. Academically there is no way that I could have held her back.

Also there is more help in the schools and I know of another parent who just had her son repeat kindergarten the next year since that was what he needed.

Posted 12/26/12 9:52 AM
 

ria
LIF Adolescent

Member since 7/06

664 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by BeachMom

my DD was the cut off date for our district. I decided to send her to school on time. Socially she was and still is behind her class and gets involved more with the kids in the grade below her. Academically she is one of the smartest kids in her class. Academically there is no way that I could have held her back.

Also there is more help in the schools and I know of another parent who just had her son repeat kindergarten the next year since that was what he needed.



On LI do they hold back?? I thought there was "The No One Left Behind Bill", not sure what it is called exactly.

Posted 12/26/12 12:29 PM
 

Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses

Member since 5/05

15952 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by ria

On LI do they hold back?? I thought there was "The No One Left Behind Bill", not sure what it is called exactly.



"No Child Left Behind" has nothing to do with social promotion or leaving a child back a grade.

It's a poorly named program. It's a national program passed under the Bush administration that emphasizes standardized testing at all grade levels. Most educators believe it's the worst thing to ever happen to education.

Posted 12/26/12 2:44 PM
 

ria
LIF Adolescent

Member since 7/06

664 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH

Posted by ria

On LI do they hold back?? I thought there was "The No One Left Behind Bill", not sure what it is called exactly.



"No Child Left Behind" has nothing to do with social promotion or leaving a child back a grade.

It's a poorly named program. It's a national program passed under the Bush administration that emphasizes standardized testing at all grade levels. Most educators believe it's the worst thing to ever happen to education.



So can a child be left back or not? Being that "No Child Left Behind" is in place.

Posted 12/26/12 2:49 PM
 

itsbabytime
LIF Adult

Member since 11/05

9644 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by Jacksmommy

Posted by Merf99

Posted by Jacksmommy

As a teacher and someone who was the youngest person in her grade, I would not hold ds back. As a hs teacher, I have never noticed the month a child was born in. It all evens out eventually. The real problem is the expectations being set on kindergarten students and not allowing them to play and explore. And my theory is someone is always going to be the youngest. If, like a pp mentioned before, everyone holds their kids back a year, then there is still going to be someone that is young. As a child the only time it bothered me to be the youngest was when everyone was driving and I was not.



Really? I'm surprised you've never noticed a difference from one child who's born say Ja??n to nov. Only because dd's k teacher and her tutor who is a 1st grade teacher both told me they can almost always tell who is olde and younger. Not sure what grade you teach - maybe it's more evident in tgr younger grades.

. I teach hs. By then it all evens out. It usually evens out by second grade (as I taught that grade as well and never noticed). And I have a ds born in sept and will not be holding him back but I do know there are kids who are going to be a FULL year older than him and I think that's not right personally!



ITA.

Message edited 12/26/2012 8:46:27 PM.

Posted 12/26/12 7:53 PM
 

Onemoretime
LIF Adult

Member since 9/12

1077 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by Jacksmommy

Posted by Merf99

Posted by Jacksmommy

As a teacher and someone who was the youngest person in her grade, I would not hold ds back. As a hs teacher, I have never noticed the month a child was born in. It all evens out eventually. The real problem is the expectations being set on kindergarten students and not allowing them to play and explore. And my theory is someone is always going to be the youngest. If, like a pp mentioned before, everyone holds their kids back a year, then there is still going to be someone that is young. As a child the only time it bothered me to be the youngest was when everyone was driving and I was not.



Really? I'm surprised you've never noticed a difference from one child who's born say Jan to nov. Only because dd's k teacher and her tutor who is a 1st grade teacher both told me they can almost always tell who is olde and younger. Not sure what grade you teach - maybe it's more evident in tgr younger grades.

. I teach hs. By then it all evens out. It usually evens out by second grade (as I taught that grade as well and never noticed). And I have a ds born in sept and will not be holding him back but I do know there are kids who are going to be a FULL year older than him and I think that's not right personally!



Thank you Ita!

My ds is a late bday, and I would never dream of holding him back. I can't believe he will be in school with kids a full year older! I finished my first semester of college when I was 17. People need to do their research on redshirting kids and it's effects

Posted 12/26/12 11:43 PM
 

Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses

Member since 5/05

15952 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by ria

Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH

Posted by ria

On LI do they hold back?? I thought there was "The No One Left Behind Bill", not sure what it is called exactly.



"No Child Left Behind" has nothing to do with social promotion or leaving a child back a grade.

It's a poorly named program. It's a national program passed under the Bush administration that emphasizes standardized testing at all grade levels. Most educators believe it's the worst thing to ever happen to education.



So can a child be left back or not? Being that "No Child Left Behind" is in place.



Like I said, "No Child Left Behind" has nothing to do with leaving children back a grade.

In theory, children can still be left back but it has nothing to do with the national "No Child Left Behind" Program.

Posted 12/27/12 8:52 AM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13103 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Holding Child Back

DD is Mid-Nov. Didn't hold her back and she is doing great.

Posted 12/27/12 2:57 PM
 

beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!

Member since 5/05

4114 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

What are the teachers saying? I teach hs and never know who is a late or early bday. I have also heard that it is the first few grades where you can tell and then it all evens out. My son is an oct bday and I'm sending him to k next year. He will be one of the youngest, but unless something changes, I think he is ready. My youngest son is a nov baby. Right now he's a little behind with speech, so not sure if he will be ready or not when time comes. I'll make the decision then. I never realized so many people held their kids back until I saw it on here!

Posted 12/27/12 3:02 PM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

4430 total posts

Name:
Karen

Holding Child Back

People have been holding kids back for years...it's nothing new. My parents held my sister back (Nov birthday) and that was 35 years ago. You need to follow your own gut as no one can tell you what is best for your own child. I already mentioned that I am holding DD back. That was a decision based on her specifically. I have a friend who's son is born the same day as DD and he is staying on track. That decision was based on him specifically.

Posted 12/27/12 3:54 PM
 

Merf99
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3380 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by KarenK122

People have been holding kids back for years...it's nothing new. My parents held my sister back (Nov birthday) and that was 35 years ago. You need to follow your own gut as no one can tell you what is best for your own child. I already mentioned that I am holding DD back. That was a decision based on her specifically. I have a friend who's son is born the same day as DD and he is staying on track. That decision was based on him specifically.



Exactly! Each childmis different. While some feel strongly against holding their child back or think it's unfair other kids are a year older you are completely entitled ti that. But for me I knew my child needed the extra time. As far as fair? I dint care. It's not a competition for my kid. I just know that she is doing better socially, emotionally, academically and is happier. So for me it was a good decision.

Posted 12/27/12 11:58 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: Holding Child Back

My birthday is November 29. I wasn't held back. I feel I should have been. I struggled terribly in school. I just wasn't developmentally ready for the academics, and some of my peers were over a year older than me! But some kids are ok. My stepdaughter was a January baby and was pushed through and did fine since she is mature. You have to go with your gut!

Posted 12/28/12 8:10 AM
 

Erica
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

11767 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

I'm K-12 and I can see age differences in K and sometimes 1st...after that I'm usually shocked when I hear someone telling me that they are a late birthday.

Posted by ria
So can a child be left back or not? Being that "No Child Left Behind" is in place.



In elementary school - only a parent can choose to hold their child back. The school can only suggest it. it was suggested to us after DS missed 4 months of school (and tutoring from the school, but I digress) and we learning in NYS only the parents can do it. We decided against it (repeating first grade) and he caught up with AIS, reading recovery and tutoring (that the school district had to legally make up).

Middle School and High School is a different story, since you need a certain number of credits in specific courses to advance/graduate.

Posted 12/28/12 1:47 PM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Holding Child Back

I am terrible. I would hold him back just to have a free year with him.
Our cutoff here is late august. 4 seems so young to send them..and to be on a school schedule. I find that attendence limits my life tremendously

Posted 12/28/12 5:20 PM
 

MrsProfessor
hi

Member since 5/05

14279 total posts

Name:

Holding Child Back

I think it depends on the child and IMO the social is more important than the academic. Kids who need extra academic support will likely get it- my DD is getting intervention in reading and it's been great. However, maturity can't be taught. We have had issues on the bus with a child who's been biting and pulling hair and when I learned other things about this child's conduct and the fact that a very late birthday was involved I wondered if that was a factor. There was never any malice, the child isn't mean.

I also taught middle school and I never noticed a difference between the kids based on when they were born. Good work habits and support at home are more important at that age.

All kids are different as as parents we need to go with our guts and what we know about our kids since we know them best.

Posted 12/28/12 8:22 PM
 

Onemoretime
LIF Adult

Member since 9/12

1077 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

NYT article

Found this link

Posted 12/30/12 4:35 PM
 

jaclyn78
LIF Adolescent

Member since 11/06

635 total posts

Name:
Jaclyn

Re: Holding Child Back

I am a first grade teacher and I have definitely seen a difference between a young first grader and that of an older one. In my district we only have a half day 3 hour kindergarten program. Not much time to fill in a jam packed curriculum. You see it mostly in reading. yes, there are many services. (Small group, extra instruction, pull out programs). however, I feel that there can come a time where it is overload. Some classmates can see their peers progressing and they know they are behind, which can be very frustrating for them. the majority of my retentions have had maturity as a factor. I have a daughter who has an August birthday. I didn't even think twice about holding her back for one more year. As someone said previously, I will never regret that extra year, but I would if she struggled throughout school. Just to add, they usually won't struggle in kindergarten. I feel that in first and second grade, it can catch up. I'm not saying this is always the case, but I have seen many cases firsthand. I also think the curriculum has so much content to cover, especially in the lower grades.

Posted 12/30/12 6:51 PM
 

Jacksmommy
My love muffin!

Member since 1/07

5819 total posts

Name:
Liz

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by jaclyn78

I am a first grade teacher and I have definitely seen a difference between a young first grader and that of an older one. In my district we only have a half day 3 hour kindergarten program. Not much time to fill in a jam packed curriculum. You see it mostly in reading. yes, there are many services. (Small group, extra instruction, pull out programs). however, I feel that there can come a time where it is overload. Some classmates can see their peers progressing and they know they are behind, which can be very frustrating for them. the majority of my retentions have had maturity as a factor. I have a daughter who has an August birthday. I didn't even think twice about holding her back for one more year. As someone said previously, I will never regret that extra year, but I would if she struggled throughout school. Just to add, they usually won't struggle in kindergarten. I feel that in first and second grade, it can catch up. I'm not saying this is always the case, but I have seen many cases firsthand. I also think the curriculum has so much content to cover, especially in the lower grades.



So then are you saying that your daughter back because she was an August birthday? So of course when you compare your kindergarten child who will be 6 going into k to my child who is turning 5 in sept of k there will be a huge maturity gap. It doesn't seem right to have a 6 year old in a kindergarten class. If that was the case maybe k shouldn't be started until 6. Or schools should revamp their programs and make them age leveled classes. I just don't think it is fair in k to then compare my child who is starting school when he is supposed to to another child who is over a full year older. Since preschool an even k is not mandatory, social or academic maturity shouldn't even be a factor.

Message edited 12/31/2012 9:45:01 AM.

Posted 12/31/12 9:43 AM
 

PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 12/05

17450 total posts

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Re: Holding Child Back

My dd happens to be the youngest in her class (Nov 26). She went in at 4 yrs old. Her best friend happened to be a January baby and went in just about turning 6 and my dd just about turning 5. There is an EXTREME difference in everything educationally, maturity and physical composition. You cant even compare the two girls. Yes, I agree eventually it will even out but in hindsight I do think my dd was at an extreme disadvantage and I do think we took all the right steps in educating her along the way. She was in daycares/nurserys/preschools etc... No matter how you spin it she entered at 4 and she was acting like a 4 yr old.

Posted 12/31/12 10:15 AM
 

BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

15657 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by Jacksmommy

Posted by jaclyn78

I am a first grade teacher and I have definitely seen a difference between a young first grader and that of an older one. In my district we only have a half day 3 hour kindergarten program. Not much time to fill in a jam packed curriculum. You see it mostly in reading. yes, there are many services. (Small group, extra instruction, pull out programs). however, I feel that there can come a time where it is overload. Some classmates can see their peers progressing and they know they are behind, which can be very frustrating for them. the majority of my retentions have had maturity as a factor. I have a daughter who has an August birthday. I didn't even think twice about holding her back for one more year. As someone said previously, I will never regret that extra year, but I would if she struggled throughout school. Just to add, they usually won't struggle in kindergarten. I feel that in first and second grade, it can catch up. I'm not saying this is always the case, but I have seen many cases firsthand. I also think the curriculum has so much content to cover, especially in the lower grades.



So then are you saying that your daughter back because she was an August birthday? So of course when you compare your kindergarten child who will be 6 going into k to my child who is turning 5 in sept of k there will be a huge maturity gap. It doesn't seem right to have a 6 year old in a kindergarten class. If that was the case maybe k shouldn't be started until 6. Or schools should revamp their programs and make them age leveled classes. I just don't think it is fair in k to then compare my child who is starting school when he is supposed to to another child who is over a full year older. Since preschool an even k is not mandatory, social or academic maturity shouldn't even be a factor.



...then there will be kids that would be turning 7 in January since they miss the December cutoff, so it would be the same thing.

If people would just stop redshirting their kids, and go by the district cut offs, it would be fine for the most part. But you have people holding their kids back a year, then the kids that are starting when they are SUPPOSED to starting who are obviously going to be socially immature, etc. compared to those redshirted kids. Classes grouped by birthday isn't a bad idea.

Message edited 12/31/2012 10:40:59 AM.

Posted 12/31/12 10:40 AM
 

Merf99
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3380 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by PrincessP

My dd happens to be the youngest in her class (Nov 26). She went in at 4 yrs old. Her best friend happened to be a January baby and went in just about turning 6 and my dd just about turning 5. There is an EXTREME difference in everything educationally, maturity and physical composition. You cant even compare the two girls. Yes, I agree eventually it will even out but in hindsight I do think my dd was at an extreme disadvantage and I do think we took all the right steps in educating her along the way. She was in daycares/nurserys/preschools etc... No matter how you spin it she entered at 4 and she was acting like a 4 yr old.



This is what happened to DD last year which was why we decided she should repeat. I know not everyone agrees with it, as that's their right. But for US, it was best for her to repeat. She was so much younger than the other kids, much more immature, socially and emotionally and really needed that extra year.

Posted 12/31/12 10:40 AM
 

Merf99
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3380 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding Child Back

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by Jacksmommy

Posted by jaclyn78

I am a first grade teacher and I have definitely seen a difference between a young first grader and that of an older one. In my district we only have a half day 3 hour kindergarten program. Not much time to fill in a jam packed curriculum. You see it mostly in reading. yes, there are many services. (Small group, extra instruction, pull out programs). however, I feel that there can come a time where it is overload. Some classmates can see their peers progressing and they know they are behind, which can be very frustrating for them. the majority of my retentions have had maturity as a factor. I have a daughter who has an August birthday. I didn't even think twice about holding her back for one more year. As someone said previously, I will never regret that extra year, but I would if she struggled throughout school. Just to add, they usually won't struggle in kindergarten. I feel that in first and second grade, it can catch up. I'm not saying this is always the case, but I have seen many cases firsthand. I also think the curriculum has so much content to cover, especially in the lower grades.



So then are you saying that your daughter back because she was an August birthday? So of course when you compare your kindergarten child who will be 6 going into k to my child who is turning 5 in sept of k there will be a huge maturity gap. It doesn't seem right to have a 6 year old in a kindergarten class. If that was the case maybe k shouldn't be started until 6. Or schools should revamp their programs and make them age leveled classes. I just don't think it is fair in k to then compare my child who is starting school when he is supposed to to another child who is over a full year older. Since preschool an even k is not mandatory, social or academic maturity shouldn't even be a factor.



...then there will be kids that would be turning 7 in January since they miss the December cutoff, so it would be the same thing.

If people would just stop redshirting their kids, and go by the district cut offs, it would be fine for the most part. But you have people holding their kids back a year, then the kids that are starting when they are SUPPOSED to starting who are obviously going to be socially immature, etc. compared to those redshirted kids. Classes grouped by birthday isn't a bad idea.




District cut offs aren't always helpful either. Because in NJ every single town that surrounds me is an Oct 1st cut off. So alot of the kids that went to private preschool with DD were more than a year older than her because she has an Oct 22nd bday. My district happens to be a Dec 1st cut off. But alot of people go by the Oct 1st cut off because of where they went to pre school. So my DD was right in the middle. If we lived 2 miles away from where we do, she wouldn't have been allowed to do K last year.

Posted 12/31/12 10:43 AM
 

ohbaby08
Winter is Coming

Member since 10/07

1718 total posts

Name:

Holding Child Back

My son is born at the end of Sept. and it never crossed my mind to hold him back. This may sound like a silly question, but why isn't it mandatory for every child to start school at the same age? Like, all kids born in the same year start kindergarten at the same time. I don't understand why districts have cut-offs of August, Oct, etc. It doesn't seem fair to me that my son will be compared to kids in his class who are a full year older than him. What's to stop a parent from holding their kid back 2 yrs and having a 7 yr old start kindergarten? Are their rules against that? I'm asking because I really have no idea.

Posted 12/31/12 10:46 AM
 
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