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Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

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adeline27
LIF Adult

Member since 5/06

3121 total posts

Name:
Angela

Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

My son just makes the registration age for his kindergarten but I know he will be the youngest in the class and not sure if it will be a good thing. Need your opinions on holding a child back or not. He has been in preschool since 2 and doing great already knows what he should for kindergarten. He only received speech services for about a year and is now where he should be. Would people automatically hold back a child due to birth date or just see what happens? I'm wondering if this is a decision that needs to be made prior to kindergarten and not in 1st or 2nd grade. Someone I know regretted not pulling back their older son due to his birth date and he struggled through all his school years. What's your opinion?

Posted 3/14/11 2:22 PM
 
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jgl
Love my little boys!!!

Member since 8/07

7060 total posts

Name:
g

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

you have to know YOUR child but if it was me and I was on the fence, I would probably put in in kindergarten and if he wasnt ready for 1st, hold him back and let him repeat Kindergarten.

Posted 3/14/11 2:38 PM
 

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

14470 total posts

Name:
Veronica

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

Posted by jgl

you have to know YOUR child but if it was me and I was on the fence, I would probably put in in kindergarten and if he wasnt ready for 1st, hold him back and let him repeat Kindergarten.




ITA

My older brother's bday is in Sept and they let him go in but held him back one year later.. it DESTROYED his education completely. A direct result, later on he quit school. He hated being punished for the unfortunate birthdate. Maturity is one thing but to tell a child who got all A's you're just not 'there' yet is very hard and he didn't understand it and didn't take it well at ALL. Worst decision EVER

My twin brothers : One of them was kept back a year. I dreaded the outcome since they are twins. But he needed that year and it did him well. The other one ended up repeating the senior year so they ended up graduating together anyway. ha!

I think you have to know your own kid. But I agree with sending them into kinder and going from there.

Posted 3/14/11 2:42 PM
 

Melissa77
Mommy of 3

Member since 8/08

2872 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

I would not. My DD is born on 10/31 and she is the youngest in her kindergarten class and doing wonderful. She would have been beyong bored if I kept her in pre-K. I would put him in and if he doesn't do well, have him repeat K but from how you describe him, he sounds like he will do fine.

Posted 3/14/11 2:44 PM
 

FreeButterfly
hum...

Member since 5/05

6263 total posts

Name:

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

If you have the money and are unsure, maybe you can put him in the kindergarten at the daycare and see how he does. This way if he has to repeat, his classmates won't know.

Posted 3/14/11 2:45 PM
 

Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!

Member since 5/05

12165 total posts

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Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

I'm not in the situation now, but my DS was born on 10/26 and I can't imagine holding him back unless there was a major problem.

I sort of never get the whole holding back thing based upon birthdate. Doesn't SOMEONE always have to be the youngest in the class. So, if all the November b-days were held back, then the Octobers would be the youngest; then the October moms would start holding back THEIR kids and as a result, the Septembers would be the youngest, etc. etc.etc. I don't get it.

Posted 3/14/11 2:48 PM
 

springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!

Member since 11/09

7155 total posts

Name:
Sandra

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

I agree that it depends so much on the child.

Just to let you know -- other parts of the country have very different dates as far as their cutoffs go. I live in NC now, and the cutoff is the first day of school (usually the last week in August). My nephew is an October 4 bday and will be 6 in October but he is considered too young for first grade this upcoming year because he'll be 5 when school starts.

When I was young, the cut off was December 15 where we lived. My brother's birthday is the first week in January and he was one of the oldest in his class. DH is the same age as my brother (they're born less than a week apart) but because he lived in another state, he was right in the middle of the age group for the same class (class of 2000) since the cutoff was August!

Posted 3/14/11 2:56 PM
 

Jacksmommy
My love muffin!

Member since 1/07

5819 total posts

Name:
Liz

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

I don't know honestly. My b/day is December 19. I was reading in Pre-K so my mother pushed for a private K so I could go to K earlier. I hated being the youngest in the class. However, my mother's b/day is December 25 and she hated being the oldest. I know a lot of people who do it for an edge later on in sports, which I think is ridiculous!

Posted 3/14/11 2:59 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19454 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

DDs birthday is the last day for the cut off so she will be the youngest one in her kindergarten class. I am fine with it. I would rather give her the opportunity to try than tell her she can't. Someone has to be the youngest, just like someone has to be the oldest.

Posted 3/14/11 3:07 PM
 

itsbabytime
LIF Adult

Member since 11/05

9644 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

I would go 100% by the child. If the child is performing above average I would definitely not hold them back. However if they are struggling just to be average or falling behind I would 100% hold them back.

Posted 3/14/11 3:56 PM
 

MelvilleMom
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Member since 3/11

13 total posts

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Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

I don't think it has much to do with education like most posters are saying. I think it's more about the social ramifications.

Boys are so different than girls. It can be really hard for a boy being the youngest and smallest in middle and high school. Esp. when boys mature slower than girls as it is.

I would hold him back for sure. It'll give him such a leg up.

Posted 3/14/11 4:12 PM
 

mrandmrs12
LIF Adult

Member since 1/07

1687 total posts

Name:

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

I agree to a point with other posters - it really depends on the child.

BUT, as someone who works in a school with K-2, I see the difference it makes when kids have birthdays later in the year. Kids are expected to do soo much more now in kindergarten than they were before. A lot of times the expectations don't match up with the kids developmentally - especially for younger kids - they just are NOT ready for certain things. I would strongly consider holding my child back if he or she had a november or december birthday.

Another thought.... My DH was born December 4. His parents sent him to K, so he was one of the youngest kids in his class. He did fine, but HE tells me that he wishes they held him back. It was hard to be smaller than teh other kids, to feel like he was always struggling to keep up in gym, sports, etc. (Just a thought from a boy's perspective).

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Posted 3/14/11 4:18 PM
 

Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys

Member since 5/05

9306 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

I wouldn't hold back SIMPLY due to birth date.

I know someone who held their DD back. They spoke with her teachers (pre K) and asked their opinions. They all felt she was too "immature" and just not ready.

YOu have to do what you feel is best! If I felt that my DS wasn't ready emotionally or "academically" yes I would hold him back because I want him to have a positive school experience. Especially in the first few years when school should be fun and easy, I dont want him to "struggle" and then develop a dislike for school

Just want to add: My DS misses the cut off and I actually wish he didnt so that the decision would be mine to make as I feel he will most likely be ready for K in 2012 but he isnt able to attend until 2013 due to his birthday

Posted 3/14/11 4:22 PM
 

jes81276
summer fun!

Member since 3/06

4962 total posts

Name:
Jaime

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

Absolutely....as a teacher and as a parent I am a strong believer in giving them that extra year. My son is a November g'day and I plan on holding him out

Posted 3/14/11 6:20 PM
 

jes81276
summer fun!

Member since 3/06

4962 total posts

Name:
Jaime

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

Absolutely....as a teacher and as a parent I am a strong believer in giving them that extra year. My son is a November g'day and I plan on holding him out

Posted 3/14/11 6:21 PM
 

july0105
My three little miracles

Member since 4/06

2628 total posts

Name:
Alison

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

I know my cousin made her decision based on what she AND her DD's preschool teacher had observed. Maybe you could talk to the teachers at preschool and see what their opinions are. I think it depends so much on the individual child, and also whether or not you have a boy or girl.

Posted 3/14/11 6:37 PM
 

DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!

Member since 1/07

9534 total posts

Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

DD misses the cutoff for K. We can put her in private K and then have her start 1st grade - but she will be the youngest in her class now and forever.

Academically, where DD is now, she would have NO issues being the youngest in the class. However, DH & I have already decided that socially at age 14, we don't want her to be the youngest in the class and subject to the influences of 15 year old boys. Therefore, we are making the decision NOW not to push her ahead.

Big fish in a little pond is better than a little fish in a big pond (in our opinion).

Posted 3/14/11 10:10 PM
 

bpmom
Feeling Blessed

Member since 6/07

2963 total posts

Name:

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

Posted by Eireann

I sort of never get the whole holding back thing based upon birthdate. Doesn't SOMEONE always have to be the youngest in the class. So, if all the November b-days were held back, then the Octobers would be the youngest; then the October moms would start holding back THEIR kids and as a result, the Septembers would be the youngest, etc. etc.etc. I don't get it.



ITA with this. Younger DS is a Nov baby and I have no intentions of holding him back.

Posted 3/14/11 10:25 PM
 

KNic19
Baby's First Christmas

Member since 7/09

3541 total posts

Name:
Kim

Re: Late birthday for school, Would you consider holding back your child a grade?

I'm a November b-day and I kind of wish I'd been held back a year. Believe it or not it wasn't so much a problem when I was younger, I was in honor's classes since about 4th grade. Although socially I just never quite fit in with everyone else, however I think that partially had to do with socio-economics where I grew up. But when I got to college I just wasn't ready to be at that stage and really struggled for a few years.

Posted 3/14/11 11:56 PM
 
 

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Your child's birthday celebration in school adeline27 9/24/10 10 Parenting
 
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