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Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

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pnbplus1
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Mommy

Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

Posted by butterfly20


Ds has a cousin who is the same age but with a SAHM who admits to being on the computer all day, has an early bedtime, and late wakeup so the parent can sleep late, the cousin doesn't share, is alot farther behind in speech, and even walking around stumbles alot.

I don't think that its because the kid is at home. Its the enviroment that is presented to them. SAHM's can plan playdates, and spend more time teaching their kids then alot of daycares would provide.



i am sorry but that is the most ignorant comment i have read in a very long time...

just because your DSs cousins mother is on the computer all day will NOT reflect on that childs speech or his walking abilities. how different is that from saying all moms with autistic children neglect their child. there is NO difference in your statement.

i know PLENTY of children who have PT & Speech impairments, and OMG.. guess what their MOMS PAY attention to them, and a few of them had their children in daycare.

so i am curious, and don't take this the wrong way, but how you can blame a childs development on a parent who in your mind is neglectful? and what about those parents who aren't neglectful, but their childs development is delayed anyway...

ETA: i was going to say more, but i am beyond red right now, so i don't want to offend



While I agree with you about the walking, a child who's parent is neglectful can definitely have speech issues. TV alone will not encourage speech. No one is saying that mom's with autistic children neglect their child (that was quite a stretch), but the lack of an enriched environment can definitely have a detrimental effect on speech and learning.

ETA: My above comments about the lack of an enriched environment affecting speech come from professional knowledge. There is a correlation between these things but that does not imply causation.

My son has a speech delay and I am a SAHM and I talk to him all.day.long. I engage with him all the time. So, while a speech delay is not always caused by neglect/lack of stimulation, there CAN be a correlation bwt the two.

As for the OP, at age 2 I don't believe there is a need. I have my DS in a mommy and me nursery program now 1 x week. As a SAHM, I feel that my DS would benefit from the social aspect of being in school (the "academic" part I feel I can handle well at home) and so he will be in a 3's program. If he were in daycare, I'd see no need.

Message edited 2/23/2012 8:50:11 PM.

Posted 2/23/12 7:43 PM
 
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Teach
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

my child is only 3 months old but she is already signed up for nursery school for 3 yo. I will also put her in a 2 yo program. She does not go to daycare right now- and probably will not.

Posted 2/23/12 7:48 PM
 

greenybeans
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by pnbplus1

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

Posted by butterfly20




While I agree with you about the walking, a child who's parent is neglectful can definitely have speech issues. TV alone will not encourage speech. No one is saying that mom's with autistic children neglect their child (that was quite a stretch), but the lack of an enriched environment can definitely have a detrimental effect on speech and learning.





As the mother of 2 children with speech delays, I've asked about this MANY times. (we blame ourselves a lot.) You would have to seriously neglect your child to cause a speech delay.

I'm sorry OP to hijack your thread for a moment. Chat Icon

Message edited 2/23/2012 7:51:33 PM.

Posted 2/23/12 7:50 PM
 

AMF1115
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

I think its needed these days not just for kindergarten but to ease them into the transition of being with mom all day and than all of a sudden being in school.

I feel that 2y.o is more for socialization. I'm a fan of the Mommy and Me for 2 y.o. because they still have you there but can interact with others.

I think 3 y.o. is good for starting to separate. A few days a week, and for a few hours.

4 y.o is when they should be going 5 days a week either full or half days.


Posted 2/23/12 7:52 PM
 

Teachergal
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

Posted by butterfly20


Ds has a cousin who is the same age but with a SAHM who admits to being on the computer all day, has an early bedtime, and late wakeup so the parent can sleep late, the cousin doesn't share, is alot farther behind in speech, and even walking around stumbles alot.

I don't think that its because the kid is at home. Its the enviroment that is presented to them. SAHM's can plan playdates, and spend more time teaching their kids then alot of daycares would provide.



i am sorry but that is the most ignorant comment i have read in a very long time...

just because your DSs cousins mother is on the computer all day will NOT reflect on that childs speech or his walking abilities. how different is that from saying all moms with autistic children neglect their child. there is NO difference in your statement.

i know PLENTY of children who have PT & Speech impairments, and OMG.. guess what their MOMS PAY attention to them, and a few of them had their children in daycare.

so i am curious, and don't take this the wrong way, but how you can blame a childs development on a parent who in your mind is neglectful? and what about those parents who aren't neglectful, but their childs development is delayed anyway...

ETA: i was going to say more, but i am beyond red right now, so i don't want to offend



Wow, you are really personalizing butterfly20's comments. In no way did she ever say that a child who has developmental delays has the parent to blame. She was commenting on her son's cousin and the lack of stimulation presented to that child. A mom who purposely puts the child to bed early, wakes the child late, is on the computer a lot- yes that is not going to be a stimulating environment that encourages development. I think she was making the point, actually, that just because a child is at home it doesn't mean the child will be behind other children who are in school because if you have a caregiver that provides a stimulating home environment it can actually be beneficial. To call her comment ignorant is to misread her message.

Posted 2/23/12 7:55 PM
 

A3CM
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by Teachergal

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

Posted by butterfly20


Ds has a cousin who is the same age but with a SAHM who admits to being on the computer all day, has an early bedtime, and late wakeup so the parent can sleep late, the cousin doesn't share, is alot farther behind in speech, and even walking around stumbles alot.

I don't think that its because the kid is at home. Its the enviroment that is presented to them. SAHM's can plan playdates, and spend more time teaching their kids then alot of daycares would provide.



i am sorry but that is the most ignorant comment i have read in a very long time...

just because your DSs cousins mother is on the computer all day will NOT reflect on that childs speech or his walking abilities. how different is that from saying all moms with autistic children neglect their child. there is NO difference in your statement.

i know PLENTY of children who have PT & Speech impairments, and OMG.. guess what their MOMS PAY attention to them, and a few of them had their children in daycare.

so i am curious, and don't take this the wrong way, but how you can blame a childs development on a parent who in your mind is neglectful? and what about those parents who aren't neglectful, but their childs development is delayed anyway...

ETA: i was going to say more, but i am beyond red right now, so i don't want to offend



Wow, you are really personalizing butterfly20's comments. In no way did she ever say that a child who has developmental delays has the parent to blame. She was commenting on her son's cousin and the lack of stimulation presented to that child. A mom who purposely puts the child to bed early, wakes the child late, is on the computer a lot- yes that is not going to be a stimulating environment that encourages development. I think she was making the point, actually, that just because a child is at home it doesn't mean the child will be behind other children who are in school because if you have a caregiver that provides a stimulating home environment it can actually be beneficial. To call her comment ignorant is to misread her message.



i don't think i mis read her message at all, she said her DSs cousins mother is a SAHM and basically admits to being on the computer all day and that her son is speech delayed and stumbles (PT delayed) which basically sums up that its a result of this woman being on the computer all day... its a direct read...

Posted 2/23/12 8:11 PM
 

jerseychick
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by janedoe

at 2 years old .. no
at 3 years old yes. As a previous poster stated with the high demands of kindergarten these days I think preschool is very very important.



I agree with this. These days, kindergarten places a lot of academic demands on kids.

Posted 2/23/12 8:14 PM
 

DiamondGirl
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by TaraHutch

In this day and age, with all the demands put on kids in freaking kindergarten, I would say yes. At least by 3 or 4 years old. And for the pure routine/socialization/separation aspect.



I agree. That said if they do not go I don't think it is the worst thing, they will catch up, kids are resilient like that Chat Icon

Posted 2/23/12 8:20 PM
 

Teachergal
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

i don't think i mis read her message at all, she said her DSs cousins mother is a SAHM and basically admits to being on the computer all day and that her son is speech delayed and stumbles (PT delayed) which basically sums up that its a result of this woman being on the computer all day... its a direct read...



You extended her statement to say it was the same as saying autism is caused by the parent. That is a stretch. Look, I didn't make the statement, but I think you are making a leap in connecting what she said to autism. And if a caregiver is more involved in a child's life that has the propensity for a delay, then yes, that will make a difference. For the children that are on the low end of average it will make a huge difference. Especially those kids that may not qualify for services but need attention.

To the OP: sorry for the hijack
Chat Icon

Posted 2/23/12 8:23 PM
 

luckyinlove
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

Posted by Teachergal

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

Posted by butterfly20


Ds has a cousin who is the same age but with a SAHM who admits to being on the computer all day, has an early bedtime, and late wakeup so the parent can sleep late, the cousin doesn't share, is alot farther behind in speech, and even walking around stumbles alot.

I don't think that its because the kid is at home. Its the enviroment that is presented to them. SAHM's can plan playdates, and spend more time teaching their kids then alot of daycares would provide.



i am sorry but that is the most ignorant comment i have read in a very long time...

just because your DSs cousins mother is on the computer all day will NOT reflect on that childs speech or his walking abilities. how different is that from saying all moms with autistic children neglect their child. there is NO difference in your statement.

i know PLENTY of children who have PT & Speech impairments, and OMG.. guess what their MOMS PAY attention to them, and a few of them had their children in daycare.

so i am curious, and don't take this the wrong way, but how you can blame a childs development on a parent who in your mind is neglectful? and what about those parents who aren't neglectful, but their childs development is delayed anyway...

ETA: i was going to say more, but i am beyond red right now, so i don't want to offend



Wow, you are really personalizing butterfly20's comments. In no way did she ever say that a child who has developmental delays has the parent to blame. She was commenting on her son's cousin and the lack of stimulation presented to that child. A mom who purposely puts the child to bed early, wakes the child late, is on the computer a lot- yes that is not going to be a stimulating environment that encourages development. I think she was making the point, actually, that just because a child is at home it doesn't mean the child will be behind other children who are in school because if you have a caregiver that provides a stimulating home environment it can actually be beneficial. To call her comment ignorant is to misread her message.





i don't think i mis read her message at all, she said her DSs cousins mother is a SAHM and basically admits to being on the computer all day and that her son is speech delayed and stumbles (PT delayed) which basically sums up that its a result of this woman being on the computer all day... its a direct read...



Why create drama where none exists? I don't see how you are getting so mad about what she said. This is why there are 12 page long threads filled with unnecessary drama. Life is too short to get so stressed about such unimportant things!Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/23/12 8:23 PM
 

allIwant
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

I think it is important for a kid to go to preschool as some point to learn how to follow instructions from others, follow a routine, etc. I am not sure what age though? I was actually thinking about this today.

I know for sure I want to send my twins, I don't want them to be too attached to eachother.

Posted 2/23/12 8:27 PM
 

Naturalmama
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

I am a SAHM with a 9 month old. I may go back to work this summer, in which case he will be in daycare. But if I am lucky enough to remain a SAHM, DS will be going to preschool. His birthday is in May and he will start the September after he turns 3. I know I can do a lot of the "academic" stuff with him at home. But I want him to get used to being without mommy all the time before Kindergarten comes. I do classes with him, and I will continue to do so, but I don't think it's the same as him being without me, KWIM?

Posted 2/23/12 8:29 PM
 

Jacksmommy
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

Posted by Teachergal

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

Posted by butterfly20


Ds has a cousin who is the same age but with a SAHM who admits to being on the computer all day, has an early bedtime, and late wakeup so the parent can sleep late, the cousin doesn't share, is alot farther behind in speech, and even walking around stumbles alot.

I don't think that its because the kid is at home. Its the enviroment that is presented to them. SAHM's can plan playdates, and spend more time teaching their kids then alot of daycares would provide.



i am sorry but that is the most ignorant comment i have read in a very long time...

just because your DSs cousins mother is on the computer all day will NOT reflect on that childs speech or his walking abilities. how different is that from saying all moms with autistic children neglect their child. there is NO difference in your statement.

i know PLENTY of children who have PT & Speech impairments, and OMG.. guess what their MOMS PAY attention to them, and a few of them had their children in daycare.

so i am curious, and don't take this the wrong way, but how you can blame a childs development on a parent who in your mind is neglectful? and what about those parents who aren't neglectful, but their childs development is delayed anyway...

ETA: i was going to say more, but i am beyond red right now, so i don't want to offend



Wow, you are really personalizing butterfly20's comments. In no way did she ever say that a child who has developmental delays has the parent to blame. She was commenting on her son's cousin and the lack of stimulation presented to that child. A mom who purposely puts the child to bed early, wakes the child late, is on the computer a lot- yes that is not going to be a stimulating environment that encourages development. I think she was making the point, actually, that just because a child is at home it doesn't mean the child will be behind other children who are in school because if you have a caregiver that provides a stimulating home environment it can actually be beneficial. To call her comment ignorant is to misread her message.



i don't think i mis read her message at all, she said her DSs cousins mother is a SAHM and basically admits to being on the computer all day and that her son is speech delayed and stumbles (PT delayed) which basically sums up that its a result of this woman being on the computer all day... its a direct read...



There is actually several studies that prove that children who are neglected and not stimulated can have overall delays. I used to work with a child who had a teenage mother, lived in the projects, had no toys, and no stimulation. He used to spin and play with spoons for fun. Once I, and the other therapists came in to work with him, he made significant progress. In addition, we had to do a lot of parent training with the family. That's not to say that every child who is not stimulated ends up with delays and thats not to say that every child with delays has parents who don't stimulate them. I am sure YOU do the best for your child, but please know that not everyone does.

To answer the original post, I think that preschool and socialization are necessary components, especially with the rigor of the education system now. When we were children, kindergarten was learning how to be a citizen, how to interact with other children, learning how to share etc. That is all expected once you hit kindergarten now and there is very little time for play and center time and an increased emphasis is put on academics (unfortunately and to A LOT of children's detriments, but I will save that for another post).

Posted 2/23/12 8:30 PM
 

Kmarie36
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by jerseychick

Posted by janedoe

at 2 years old .. no
at 3 years old yes. As a previous poster stated with the high demands of kindergarten these days I think preschool is very very important.



I agree with this. These days, kindergarten places a lot of academic demands on kids.



I agree!!

Posted 2/23/12 8:40 PM
 

junebride06
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

My oldest is 3 and I've been a SAHM since he was born and we have him signed up for preschool this Septemeber for 3 afternoons a week. He will be turning 4 this November. The reasons we are choosing to send him is he loves being around other children and I think it's the right age to send him. Although it's only a couple hrs a few days a week it will help to prepare him for a full day of kindergarten.

Posted 2/23/12 8:49 PM
 

lynnd126
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

Posted by butterfly20


Ds has a cousin who is the same age but with a SAHM who admits to being on the computer all day, has an early bedtime, and late wakeup so the parent can sleep late, the cousin doesn't share, is alot farther behind in speech, and even walking around stumbles alot.

I don't think that its because the kid is at home. Its the enviroment that is presented to them. SAHM's can plan playdates, and spend more time teaching their kids then alot of daycares would provide.



i am sorry but that is the most ignorant comment i have read in a very long time...

just because your DSs cousins mother is on the computer all day will NOT reflect on that childs speech or his walking abilities. how different is that from saying all moms with autistic children neglect their child. there is NO difference in your statement.

i know PLENTY of children who have PT & Speech impairments, and OMG.. guess what their MOMS PAY attention to them, and a few of them had their children in daycare.

so i am curious, and don't take this the wrong way, but how you can blame a childs development on a parent who in your mind is neglectful? and what about those parents who aren't neglectful, but their childs development is delayed anyway...

ETA: i was going to say more, but i am beyond red right now, so i don't want to offend



Sorry but I think you're perhaps internalizing and putting words in her mouth. She never said anything about special needs children or their parents. She is saying that she knows a lazy mom that has a kid who seems to be suffering from it and that a parent is capable of teaching everything learned in nursery (which I don't 100% agree with but that's besides the point).

Posted 2/23/12 9:00 PM
 

Hofstra26
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

I don't think kids *need* PreK to be successful in school but there is no downside to sending them. It can only help, not hurt.

That being said, we are still undecided as to whether or not we are sending Emerson. My only motivation to send her at all is just to get her use to being away from me during the day since we are together 24/7. Academically and socially I am not worried about. She sees her friends, I take her to library classes and Mommy & Me so she is social. And being a teacher, I got the academics covered. It's just the separation I think she needs to get use too.

The Mommy and Me has a three hour, twice a week separation class I may sign her up for instead of actual PreK in the fall. They do PreK activities throughout the day (read alouds, crafts, calendar, music, counting, etc) and it's a lot more affordable than the preschools near me.
So we'll see. I am unsure right now what I want to do.

I taught Kindergarten and I found that the difference between the PreK kids and non PreK kids was not as noticeable as you would think. My personal opinion is that a child's success in Kindergarten has more to do with their own individual maturity, personality, intellect, and readiness more than any prior preparation you give them.

I had kids who never stepped foot in school before Kindergarten and walked right in, never looked back, and did great from the get go. And on the reverse side of it, I had kids who did PreK and freaked out the first few days in Kindergarten and it took them a while to adjust.

So like I said, I think a child's success in Kindergarten really depends more on their individual make up than anything else. But that's just my perspective on it. Chat Icon

Edit - Emerson will be 4 in September.

Message edited 2/24/2012 8:13:16 AM.

Posted 2/23/12 9:00 PM
 

maybesoon
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?



Ds started nursery at 3 yo, just a few mornings a week. He never had separation issues

I think a 2 yo is better off with mommy and me classes ( ds 2 is 21 months old) . A 2 yo can not communicate about their day, I think this is too young.

3 yo really depends, if they separate then yes, if not I would wait until 3.5 .

4 is a good age to start school, they love it at this age.

Posted 2/23/12 9:03 PM
 

maybebaby
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

I don't think a child needs "school" or daycare until 4 really, but i will send Ryan at 3 because he is ready...and Johnny went to school at 2 because he had significant delays and needed the extra help...

As a SAHM, I do tons with my kids to have them socialize, to learn and interact...I really think a very part time experience in pre-k at 3 years old is beneficial, but not necessary. At 4 I would definitely introduce my kid to pre-k to prep them for kindergarten...

Posted 2/23/12 9:05 PM
 

itsbabytime
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by Goobster

I was a SAHM. I didnt really have issues once DD started preschool at 3 BUT that was only b/c I TOTALLY trusted the school I choose. There were a few schools that I passed up b/c I did not trust them so I think I would have had major issues if I didnt fully trust the school I chose (which sometimes you dont have perfection and have to settle for something that isnt ideal to you).

I was HAPPY to have a few hrs each week to finally get some things done without a little body attached. DD did not have seperation issues either. She loved it from our visit there to check the school out. She loves her teachers, she is very social and loves making friends, playing, learning, being indepedent,etc. It was a win win for us all around.

Not meant for drama but I do believe children need to be around other children, WITHOUT their parents, to learn to socialize and adjust to school setting. I think it's very important, esp in today's world where most children have some form of preschool. My point is, the few that dont go to a 3 yo program or younger, or a prek at the least, are the minority. But in the end, I would have to know more about studies to have a more educated opinion, vs just my thoughts on it.



I agree with this 100% - well except that I have another child at home with me so the school routine was actually and continues to be more of a nuisance to me than a help!

In all honesty, I actually don't know one person IRL that did not send their child to a 3 and 4 year old program.

Message edited 2/23/2012 9:12:59 PM.

Posted 2/23/12 9:11 PM
 

maymama
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

they will not die without it but i believe it certainly benefits them for many reasons!

Posted 2/23/12 9:14 PM
 

maybesoon
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

Posted by Hofstra26
. My personal opinion is that a child's success in Kindergarten has more to do with their own individual maturity, personality, intellect, and readiness more than any prior preparation you give them.

I had kids who never stepped foot in school before Kindergarten and walked right in, never looked back, and did great from the get go. And on the reverse side of it, I had kids who did PreK and freaked out the first few days in Kindergarten and it took them a while to adjust.

So like I said, I think a child's success in Kindergarten really depends more on their individual make up than anything else. But that's just my perspective on it. Chat Icon

Edit - Emerson will be 4 in September.



My BFF is a kindy teacher and she would totally agree with you . She said initially you can tell which children attended pre k, but after a month or so it all balances out and you can't tell.

I put my ds in nursery at 3 yo mainly so he had little friends to hang out with.

Posted 2/23/12 9:14 PM
 

Kelly9904
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

As a SAHM, here is my opinion

2yo- not important
3yo - you can do with out if need be but if you can do it, I think its a great thing
4 yo- I dont think its 100% you have to do it, but I think its super helpful.

My reason for putting my DS in school had nothing to do with academics. He is bored academically in his class as he is in a 3yo class but can read sight words and is at K level in some ares. He is super socialized, has been in gymnastics, sports class, swim lessons, classes at the YMCA, music class...we have playdates all the time, he has tons of friends. The reason I decided to do it was because I tought it was important for him to gain structure, to learn the rules of a classroom, to begin to understand the authority a teacher does/should hold to their students, to get used to getting up and out of hte house at a certain time, etc.

I have seen a lot of growth in Ds in that area in the last few months. So although I dont think academically he got much from it, I am VERY pleased with our decision to put him in.

Originally I was going to put him in 2 days 2.5 hours at 3yo. But he adapted so well on just our visits to see the preschools and then we chose one that only had a 3 day option for his age, so he goes 3 days 2.5hours.

Posted 2/23/12 9:37 PM
 

LittleBlueBug
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Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

I think the socialization is priceless and DS knows most of his letters, all his colors, knows how to count, and even now knows what sounds most letter make (this was a new discovery tonight)...and he's only 2. I think it helps with the seperation too. Eventually we all must separate from our kids afterall. I just figure getting them used to it early is valuable. I remember kids screaming for their mommies for hours in kindergarten and 1st grade when I was in school.

Even if its just a few days per week, I'd say go for it.

Posted 2/23/12 9:57 PM
 

clmj2
cant believe hes gone

Member since 3/07

4407 total posts

Name:
Candice

Re: Do you think 2y, or 3y, or even 4y olds NEED daycare/preschool?

DD was in daycare. we dont really have pre-school here so no i dont think its uber important.
we start junior kindergarten here at age 3 or 4 depending on when your DC birthday is (goes by the calender year)

Message edited 2/23/2012 11:01:33 PM.

Posted 2/23/12 11:00 PM
 
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