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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by LSP2005
Are you sure your kids have a full day of school? Most places to a half day.
Yes I am sure
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Posted 11/19/15 5:58 AM  |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Is there any way they can come Wednesday afternoon/evening or make arrangements to stay with someone else Tuesday night and Wednesday day?
With them coming early now you are going to have to entertain them Tuesday night, make sure that the house is clean for their arrival, plan dinner Tues and breakfast for Wed morning, tip toe around if they sleep in Wed morn etc.
I totally understand you wanting the day to yourself on Wednesday. You are going to have a busy couple of days and you deserve some me time. Your screen name says it all. 
Was the Tues arrival planned the whole time and you misunderstood or did they change last minute and your DH did not relay the info to you?
Message edited 11/19/2015 8:48:29 AM.
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| Posted 11/19/15 8:42 AM |
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2girlsforme
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3071 total posts
Name:
XXXXXXXXX
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by allIwant
Thank you everyone for your opinions! Glad to know I am not being a B#%ch.
Since they are coming Tuesday afternoon they will already be at my house in the am.
I think I am going to be honest. Tell her I have plans to do a few things in the am after dropping the kids at school then I plan to come back to cook and clean. I will let them know that they are more than welcome to hang there in the morning but if they could make plans for the afternoon that would be great. Ill tell them that the kids come home around 345 and I will make dinner for all of us if they want to come back then.
I seriously started crying when I found out they were coming! That is how much I NEED this day!
I think that's a great plan, but I would take it further and enlist their help. Frankly, I can't believe that anyone arriving at my home a full day and a half before a holiday, wouldn't ask what they can do to help.
Never in a million years would I not say to my SIL, Sister, etc, I'll be in Tuesday night and put me to work. I would take your kids off the bus and entertain them/take them to dinner (whatever) to give you time. If this offer is not forthcoming, I would say I'm so glad you'll be here, I could really use the help and then proceed to tell them how they could help....
Good luck. Try to enjoy your holiday. Looking back, these are the times you and your kids will remember fondly. Don't be ashamed to ask for help, we all need it.
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| Posted 11/19/15 8:45 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
I'd still go to the gym and clean and prep for Thanksgiving. I mean, they obviously feel comfortable in your home- comfortable enough to invite themselves over a day early.  And since you host, they have to know you'll be busy on Wednesday!
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| Posted 11/19/15 8:48 AM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
To those suggesting that she asks for help, I think she just wants to be alone and have the house to herself so she can play music or enjoy the quiet, hair a mess, no makeup, in bra and undies (kidding) as she cleans and preps. I am sure the guests would offer to help but sometimes it is more peaceful doing the work on your own.
Message edited 11/19/2015 8:55:02 AM.
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| Posted 11/19/15 8:52 AM |
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2girlsforme
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3071 total posts
Name:
XXXXXXXXX
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by skew
To those suggesting that she asks for help, I think she just wants to be alone and have the house to herself so she can play music or enjoy the quiet, hair a mess, no makeup, in bra and undies (kidding) as she cleans and preps. I am sure the guests would offer to help but sometimes it is more peaceful doing the work on your own.
I completely get that but, unfortunately, I think that ship has sailed.... Sometimes, a compromise is the best you can hope for.
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| Posted 11/19/15 9:00 AM |
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
that totally stinks, I remember those days where all I wanted was to alone in my own house in my pjs
I also have 3 kids and I used to babysit familys children everyday 10-11 hours a day
I never ever got to be alone or have a few hours to myself ever
it took 14-15 years for literally a few hours alone 
(when you watch kids you don't even get a lunch break)
anyway my advice is maybe try to set a date for them
like oh aunt soandso wants you to come visit on wed at 10
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| Posted 11/19/15 9:17 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by 2girlsforme
Posted by skew
To those suggesting that she asks for help, I think she just wants to be alone and have the house to herself so she can play music or enjoy the quiet, hair a mess, no makeup, in bra and undies (kidding) as she cleans and preps. I am sure the guests would offer to help but sometimes it is more peaceful doing the work on your own.
I completely get that but, unfortunately, I think that ship has sailed.... Sometimes, a compromise is the best you can hope for.
Yep. The compromise being that her relatives are wecome to stay with them BUT they have to go out and hit the town on Wednesday so she can have the time and quiet she needs to get everything done.
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| Posted 11/19/15 9:20 AM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by 2girlsforme
Posted by skew
To those suggesting that she asks for help, I think she just wants to be alone and have the house to herself so she can play music or enjoy the quiet, hair a mess, no makeup, in bra and undies (kidding) as she cleans and preps. I am sure the guests would offer to help but sometimes it is more peaceful doing the work on your own.
I completely get that but, unfortunately, I think that ship has sailed.... Sometimes, a compromise is the best you can hope for.
I know. I just feel bad for her as she was really looking forward to the total alone time.
Message edited 11/19/2015 9:23:07 AM.
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| Posted 11/19/15 9:21 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by Momof3boys
I have a 1, 3, and 4 year old and also work and never have a free moment! Not even at night!
I would arrange it so I could still have the day alone, without hesitation.
You have to put yourself first when you have so much on your plate!
Ditto!
My twins are 6 1/2 months old and I haven't had a free day since...I can't imagine not having one in years! You need it. You deserve it! Be honest! Or have your hubby maybe mention it to his sister.
"we are excited to have you stay with us but would it be possible to come Wed?"
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| Posted 11/19/15 9:29 AM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2053 total posts
Name:
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Torn on what to do...opinions please
I would tell them you have an appointment and won't be home until XX time and they shouldn't come over before that because no one will be home yet. Then do what you want.
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| Posted 11/19/15 9:31 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Be honest and tell them you will not be able to host them until Wednesday evening. If they have other people they can stay with in the area then great.
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| Posted 11/19/15 9:32 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Doesn't their older kid have school?
I would tell them to come Wed eve and you won't be ready for them before that.
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| Posted 11/19/15 10:03 AM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
That would drive e crazy! I don't even have kids, but I work & am gone 12 hours a day, so my house is never ready for surprise guests!
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| Posted 11/19/15 11:23 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
That's all I have for you b/c I'd feel the EXACT same way - You just wanted to be alone - Even if it means you're cooking and cleaning, you want to do it, alone - with noone talking to you, asking you for anything, looking at you - nothing ........Alone, quiet, in the house. I totally get it, and I feel for you.
Send them to the movies or something - who sits around someone else's house doing NOTHING all day ??? That's weird to me
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| Posted 11/19/15 12:13 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
I think you should just suck it up. Go do your thing at the gym in the morning, maybe find something else to do by yourself, nails etc. and then go home to your guests. I think it would be insulting to be staying at someone's house and being told to leave for the day.
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| Posted 11/19/15 12:32 PM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
I would tell them what your plans are for the day, so they know what you will be busy with and leave it at that. If you are close with your SIL-explain the "alone without kids thing" maybe she will get the hint and take the family out for awhile.
All of my family lives OOS (far). So I am used to having visitors. I would not tell them to go away, change their travel plans or ask them to stay out for the day. When my family travels 12+ hours to come visit us, they are coming to "visit us." Hanging out all day is spending time together, something we do not ever get to do. Unless your BIL/SIL are terrible people, I don't see this as such a horrible situation. Disappointing, yes, but some of these responses are making them out to be so rude.
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| Posted 11/19/15 12:46 PM |
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Torn on what to do...opinions please
Sometimes I read responses here and I think I must be so selfish
I feel like this poor OP probably "sucks it up" every day of her life - running around, stressed. Just looking forward to a break. And this isn't even a legit break. She just mainly wants to cook in her kitchen and maybe throw her hair up into a pony tail.
We as women "suck it up" all the time. I think we all need a break once in awhile from putting ourselves last, and put ourselves first whenever we can.
Just my two cents. I'm strict with things like this but I'm also really happy and never regret "me time."
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| Posted 11/19/15 12:54 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by JandJ1224
I think you should just suck it up. Go do your thing at the gym in the morning, maybe find something else to do by yourself, nails etc. and then go home to your guests. I think it would be insulting to be staying at someone's house and being told to leave for the day.
How is it even remotely insulting??? If I were the houseguest the LAST thing I'd want is to be in someone's way. I also wouldn't feel right sitting around and expecting to be entertained every minute of my visit. With this case especially, they have family in the area so there really is no reason for them to hang out at the house all day when they can go visit and hang out with their family instead.
Between houseguests and hosting the holiday, the OP has her plate full. I feel like a houseguest should have just as much consideration for the host as the host does for them. It's a two way street. I don't think it's unreasonable to have one afternoon of the WHOLE visit to herself to get everything together so the holiday is nice for everyone. Why should she suck it up??? I just hate the mentality that it's "not okay" to put yourself first and take the time you need.
And as an aside, I bet it won't even be an issue because in all likelihood, they are probably going to just go out anyway and do something because that is more fun than hanging around doing nothing.
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| Posted 11/19/15 1:03 PM |
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Sometimes I read responses here and I think I must be so selfish
I feel like this poor OP probably "sucks it up" every day of her life - running around, stressed. Just looking forward to a break. And this isn't even a legit break. She just mainly wants to cook in her kitchen and maybe throw her hair up into a pony tail.
We as women "suck it up" all the time. I think we all need a break once in awhile from putting ourselves last, and put ourselves first whenever we can.
Just my two cents. I'm strict with things like this but I'm also really happy and never regret "me time."
This
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| Posted 11/19/15 1:05 PM |
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Lola0703
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/07 677 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Sometimes I read responses here and I think I must be so selfish
I feel like this poor OP probably "sucks it up" every day of her life - running around, stressed. Just looking forward to a break. And this isn't even a legit break. She just mainly wants to cook in her kitchen and maybe throw her hair up into a pony tail.
We as women "suck it up" all the time. I think we all need a break once in awhile from putting ourselves last, and put ourselves first whenever we can.
Just my two cents. I'm strict with things like this but I'm also really happy and never regret "me time."
This
This exactly. Go do your thing, you deserve it. Tell your guests to be back by your house for dinner. We all need "alone" time to recharge our battery. Please don't feel one bit guilty. You are hosting the holiday and will have guests all weekend - take Wednesday to do what you need to do.
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| Posted 11/19/15 1:34 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Torn on what to do...opinions please
I just have a thought, in general.
This should teach YOU and other moms a VERY valuable lesson.
YOU are a better mom and wife if you have a little time to yourself. In your OP you said that you have NEVER had time alone, at all.
That should not be.
You NEED to give yourself the same consideration that you give the rest of your family. THEY get "time off". They get "alone time".
And the next time you even THINK of feeling "guilty" for having an afternoon to yourself think of this dilemma you jus posted. You are so desperate for a day off that you thought you would have, and now are REALLY upset you don't...because you NEVER take a day to yourself.
You will be a better mom and wife you allow yourself, every once and a while, to have time for YOU.
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| Posted 11/19/15 1:42 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Sometimes I read responses here and I think I must be so selfish
I feel like this poor OP probably "sucks it up" every day of her life - running around, stressed. Just looking forward to a break. And this isn't even a legit break. She just mainly wants to cook in her kitchen and maybe throw her hair up into a pony tail.
We as women "suck it up" all the time. I think we all need a break once in awhile from putting ourselves last, and put ourselves first whenever we can.
Just my two cents. I'm strict with things like this but I'm also really happy and never regret "me time."
I agree - it's sad how sh*tty we treat ourselves. I'm guilty of it too!
Also, I sibling or not, I don't understand how a houseguest TELLS you when they will be coming, rather than ASKING you what works -
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| Posted 11/19/15 1:53 PM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by skew
To those suggesting that she asks for help, I think she just wants to be alone and have the house to herself so she can play music or enjoy the quiet, hair a mess, no makeup, in bra and undies (kidding) as she cleans and preps. I am sure the guests would offer to help but sometimes it is more peaceful doing the work on your own.
100% this but I'll be wearing underwear
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| Posted 11/19/15 3:36 PM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by Paramount
I just have a thought, in general.
This should teach YOU and other moms a VERY valuable lesson.
YOU are a better mom and wife if you have a little time to yourself. In your OP you said that you have NEVER had time alone, at all.
That should not be.
You NEED to give yourself the same consideration that you give the rest of your family. THEY get "time off". They get "alone time".
And the next time you even THINK of feeling "guilty" for having an afternoon to yourself think of this dilemma you jus posted. You are so desperate for a day off that you thought you would have, and now are REALLY upset you don't...because you NEVER take a day to yourself.
You will be a better mom and wife you allow yourself, every once and a while, to have time for YOU.
I'm not saying I don't get anytime to myself but never a whole day guilt free (already paid for school)
I do go to the gym etc out with friends but something about a whole day to myself is amazing
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| Posted 11/19/15 4:27 PM |
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