You must first be logged in to post a new topic.
If you are not registered, please click "Create Account".
| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 3 |
allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
|
Torn on what to do...opinions please UPDATE in original post
I have 3 kids under 5. They go to school and I work. I haven't had one day to myself guilt free since they were born. Guilt free meaning I paid for school and I am not asking someone to watch them. I have never taken a day off from work for me aside from last week when I had to get a breast biopsy done.
Next wed I have off from school and my kids have school. To say I have been looking forward to this day for a long time is an understatement. I had the whole day planned. Gym in the am and then clean and cook rest of day for thanksgiving (I host).
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Last minutes SIL, BIL and my 2 nephews( age 3 and 10) are coming from north carolina for thanksgiving and staying with us. I assumed they would be coming wed pm but they are coming Tuesday.  I am so upset!
DH has to work. They have other family in the area that they could visit. DH suggested they make plans but they said they would just hang out and wait for us to get home.
Part of me wants to be honest and say I was really looking forward to having a day ALONE to get some cooking and cleaning done but I don't want to be rude.
eta: They are staying with us tuesday till sunday am
WWyd
Suck it up and hang with them all day.
or
Be honest
Update: dh talked to his sister and I'm alone today! Not sure exactly what he said but he said he took care of it. I feel bad a little but I am thoroughly enjoying myself!
Gym and now cooking alone with the music blasting!
Happy thanksgiving everyone!
Message edited 11/25/2015 1:03:26 PM.
|
Posted 11/18/15 7:33 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
|
|
Torn on what to do...opinions please
I'd keep your original plans. Sounds like you really need a break and hav been looking forward to it.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 7:40 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
I would probably suck it up and hang with them all day. I totally get where you are coming from, too, but I think I would feel guilty asking them to go somewhere else.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 7:41 PM |
| |
|
Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
|
Torn on what to do...opinions please
I assume you meant to say your kids DO have school, right?
I would be honest...or have your husband call and say that you have a lot going on and it would be best if they weren't at the house that day.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 7:42 PM |
| |
|
StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by Mamallamadrama
I would probably suck it up and hang with them all day. I totally get where you are coming from, too, but I think I would feel guilty asking them to go somewhere else.
Same here.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 7:44 PM |
| |
|
Momof3boys
LIF Infant
Member since 6/15 306 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
I have a 1, 3, and 4 year old and also work and never have a free moment! Not even at night!
I would arrange it so I could still have the day alone, without hesitation.
You have to put yourself first when you have so much on your plate!
Message edited 11/18/2015 7:58:05 PM.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 7:45 PM |
| |
|
LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
If you are comfortable, let them stay in your home. You go to the spa and take the morning for you. I would just say you have an appointment and they can relax in the morning, but they are on their own for breakfast and lunch that day. You drive your kids to school, then go out and have your morning for you alone.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 7:46 PM |
| |
|
allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by LSP2005
If you are comfortable, let them stay in your home. You go to the spa and take the morning for you. I would just say you have an appointment and they can relax in the morning, but they are on their own for breakfast and lunch that day. You drive your kids to school, then go out and have your morning for you alone.
that would be nice...but I will have a good amount of prep work to do for Thanksgiving as I am hosting.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 7:52 PM |
| |
|
RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3999 total posts
Name:
|
Torn on what to do...opinions please
I would tell your husband to take the day off and go out with the in-laws (I'm assuming his family?) You deserve the day to yourself, especially if you are hosting Thanksgiving. If not then DH needs to tell them they have to find something else to do while you prep.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 8:25 PM |
| |
|
M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
|
Torn on what to do...opinions please
I wouldn't ask them to change their plans, but you go about your day as you had planned. Just let them hang out at your house while you're out.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 8:29 PM |
| |
|
Laura1976
Member since 5/05 5754 total posts
Name:
Laura
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
I would still go to the gym and make it clear that you are cleaning and cooking all afternoon and make some suggestions on things they can do for the whole afternoon.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 8:36 PM |
| |
|
Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Ugh, tough situation. You deserve a day by yourself, I would try to get them to stay somewhere else on Tuesday.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 8:38 PM |
| |
|
Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Id be honest. You need the day, you want the day, you DESERVE the day.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 8:41 PM |
| |
|
CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
I say if it's DH's famiy get him to take the day off and take then out and about.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 8:44 PM |
| |
|
Tulips915
................
Member since 8/08 6851 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Go do what you want...alone. Let them see other people or even just chill out. It's one day.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 9:14 PM |
| |
|
gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Could thy maybe come Tuesday but later on. Like after dinner time
|
| Posted 11/18/15 9:27 PM |
| |
|
jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
|
Torn on what to do...opinions please
I would be honest with them and maybe ask that they come in on Wednesday or spend the day with other family. I need my days to myself.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 9:45 PM |
| |
|
DLMheartsCRM
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 208 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
I would definitely be honest with them. You're hosting a holiday, you work and you have kids. You NEED this day to yourself. Either explain to them you have plans for this day or tell DH to stay home with them while you get your day that you deserve.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 9:55 PM |
| |
|
mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by DLMheartsCRM
I would definitely be honest with them. You're hosting a holiday, you work and you have kids. You NEED this day to yourself. Either explain to them you have plans for this day or tell DH to stay home with them while you get your day that you deserve.
I think this is the best option. You really need time alone. Maybe line up some things they could do while you go to the gym and get some stuff done in the am and than make some plans with them in the later afternoon.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 10:02 PM |
| |
|
MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
Name:
S
|
Torn on what to do...opinions please
Be honest--tell them you will not be up for company before dinner time.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 10:03 PM |
| |
|
nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1073 total posts
Name:
|
Torn on what to do...opinions please
That's tough. Since you have prep work to do, can you delegate some of the chores to them? Say something like "I have plans for the morning. In the afternoon, I was going to vacuum, clean up, make all the side dishes for Thanksgiving, etc. You can stay and help me, or if you prefer, you can spend the day with Aunt Carol and we'll just see you in the evening."
|
| Posted 11/18/15 10:06 PM |
| |
|
Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Just be honest. If they have other family in the area just politely ask if they could make plans on Wednesday with them because you have a packed day on Wednesday. They will be with you for days, I don't think it's rude to have one day to yourself............especially if they decided to come early. It's annoying having people around when you're trying to get ready for a holiday, I think you should have your DH work it out for you. You'll be so stressed out on Wednesday if you don't get the time you were hoping for.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 10:11 PM |
| |
|
allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Thank you everyone for your opinions! Glad to know I am not being a B#%ch.
Since they are coming Tuesday afternoon they will already be at my house in the am.
I think I am going to be honest. Tell her I have plans to do a few things in the am after dropping the kids at school then I plan to come back to cook and clean. I will let them know that they are more than welcome to hang there in the morning but if they could make plans for the afternoon that would be great. Ill tell them that the kids come home around 345 and I will make dinner for all of us if they want to come back then.
I seriously started crying when I found out they were coming! That is how much I NEED this day!
|
| Posted 11/18/15 10:34 PM |
| |
|
Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Posted by allIwant
Thank you everyone for your opinions! Glad to know I am not being a B#%ch.
Since they are coming Tuesday afternoon they will already be at my house in the am.
I think I am going to be honest. Tell her I have plans to do a few things in the am after dropping the kids at school then I plan to come back to cook and clean. I will let them know that they are more than welcome to hang there in the morning but if they could make plans for the afternoon that would be great. Ill tell them that the kids come home around 345 and I will make dinner for all of us if they want to come back then.
I seriously started crying when I found out they were coming! That is how much I NEED this day!
You're not being a b!tch. Sometimes you really do need to just put yourself first. It doesn't mean you're selfish or horrible, not in the least. You can't be at your best for everyone else if you don't take the time you need for YOU first. Hope everything works out! 
|
| Posted 11/18/15 11:21 PM |
| |
|
LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
|
Re: Torn on what to do...opinions please
Are you sure your kids have a full day of school? Most places to a half day.
|
| Posted 11/18/15 11:57 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 3 |
