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lullabella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2246 total posts
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
Posted by sweetness
Posted by lullabella
That is such a horrible thing for your MIL to have done. I would be so upset.
But you said you really like your SIL, so if I were you I would go for her NOT them. Just think of how she is going to feel if you aren't there. Also, I probably wouldn't even tell her about all this drama after the fact, for several reasons.
1> She is pregnant and doesn't need the stress.
2> You don't want her to have memories of her baby shower that include drama. I am sure she would be so upset.
You said you were only brining the kids so your mom could see them, so I would bring them to your moms and let her enjoy them. Then don't bring them to the shower, MIL take that and stick it in her HAT!
This is just my 2 cents, I am a peacemaker and sometime it is just easier to bite the bullet.
I am normally EXACTLY how you are! Always the peacemaker and the person who says, i'll be the bigger person.
There's more history with my SIL and MIL then i'm letting on..let's just say at every one of my major life events-birth of my DD, my wedding, my pregnancies, my baby shower and whatever has to do with a major event in SIL's life that i am involved in- they have caused drama for me whenever i am involved. I was having preterm contractions at 26 weeks on and full bed rest for a week and they made me feel horrible and created drama with an event i went too anyway and i almost passed out cause of the pain i was in.
My SIL didn't go to my shower cause she didn't want to take off from work. My shower had 1 PERSON from DH's family there-my mil that's it.
A big part of me is tired of being hurt for being the bigger one and the one with the big heart who does unselfish things and goes out her way for her family only to get stepped on.
Wow, that is so horrible. They clearly have issues. How did you end the conversation with MIL? Did you tell her you weren't coming?
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Posted 1/25/08 12:23 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LuvMy2Girls
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Member since 5/05 11165 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
Message edited 1/28/2008 9:26:33 AM.
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| Posted 1/25/08 12:27 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
I wouldn't go. Especially since you are making an effort to go to this from out of state. That's ridiculous. I could see if it was in a restauarant and there was a price per person (and also if this was disussed with you EARLIER), but at someone's house? That's plain crazy! It's not going to cost anything and maybe other's in the family would have enjoyed seeing the children since you do live out of state.
Screw them! Mail the damn gift after the shower and be done with it. Baby showers are supposed to be about CHILDREN coming into our lives. Sorry they see your own little ones as such an inconvenience
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| Posted 1/25/08 12:32 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
Actually the more that I think of this...thats your excuse...no one to watch the kids.
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| Posted 1/25/08 12:38 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
People are so screwed up! If they wanted an "adults only" affair, why didn't they just say so! I can't believe they would disinvite their own grandchilren. I would be so upset
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| Posted 1/25/08 1:25 PM |
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mommy0604
My Son is my world...
Member since 10/07 3270 total posts
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
Wow! That is horrible!
I can understand if you don't want kids at a function but don't invite them and then disinvite them. It's insulting. If space became an issue then I can understand them not wanting kids but the reason they gave is unacceptable, period!
I understand that some functions should not be attended by children but nieces and nephews should be the exception. I know I wanted all my nieces and nephews at my baby shower. I even threatened the moms and said "If you don't bring the kids then you better not come as well"...I planned my baby shower so it was no surprise. Of course I was joking around when I threatened the moms. But I did want the kids there. I have a big family so I did stress for the guests not to bring kids but nieces and nephews should always be the exception.
It sounds as if you are close to your SIL especially since you were her MOH. If you are close I would still go just for her. Leave the kids with your mom. I would ignore your MIL do not say a single word. Not even a hello. Don't even acknowlege her presence, if you can do that...
And did they really put in the invitation that the only conversation has to be about the mother-to-be and baby? Sorry but I have to  at that. Ok so do this, if you hear your MIL talking about the mother-to-be or the baby you should jump in and say "so who do you think will win the Superbowl this year, do you think the Giants have a chance". That should get her panties in a bunch...
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| Posted 1/25/08 1:36 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
I would be so pizzed and would not go either. That is just wrong. If they honestly thought that your DDs would take away the attention from your SIL they should have never invited them in the first place and should have been tactful about it. Personally I have nothing against kids at a baby shower...it's not a wedding. I would love to see my nieces at my shower. My nephew, little cousins and even my husbands goddaughter and my sisters friends baby were at mine and I didn't feel like my attention was taken away. It's a baby shower and people are there for that reason...to celebrate a new baby. It's not like they are going to forget the occasion and focus all their attention on the kids at the shower. Give me a break
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| Posted 1/25/08 8:36 PM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
Rude-- Don't go to the shower and F them !! What does your DH say about his mother doing that?
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| Posted 1/25/08 8:40 PM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
Pretty crappy on their part. They should have specified no children invited from the start.
Honestly, I wouldn't even go. I'd be too mad about the whole situation.
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| Posted 1/25/08 8:46 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
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:)
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
Posted by JenBenMen
What!!!! You are totally right to be hurt.
I am sorry. but your child is family--not just some random friend's kid.
Anyone who is that insecure that they think a kid is going to take away from their attention, should IMO not have a kid
i agree, and I hate to imagine the competition amongst the cousins that can come up in the future..
I probably wouldnt go at all.
or i would go and maybe get there late and leave early.
that's completely disgusting
I grew up as children being THE party. esp something celebrating a child being born, a family growing, the cousins of the baby running around the house.
uninvited ???
no way. that would not go over well in my family, from anyone. ESP that it's at a house, and its their dads sister ???
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| Posted 1/25/08 8:53 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
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:)
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
and would she put her child aside (in the future) to be the bigger person?, i doubt it. not that I think you would EVER ask something so insane of anyone, never mind a niece or nephew!
dont go.  
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| Posted 1/25/08 8:56 PM |
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kimmie
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1535 total posts
Name:
Kimberly
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
I would have been insulted if my sister DIDNT bring my niece to my shower. I wanted her there even if she stole the entire show shes my niece... Anyway I would go and when youe SIL asks where your children are let her know and tell her how dissappointed you are in her family, and just ignore your MIL.
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| Posted 1/26/08 8:19 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
No advice, everything has been said already.
I feel your pain I have to attend a baby shower today for a completely disfunctional and irresponsible family member's "baby's momma" It's a completely drama-filled situation.
Unfortunately, for me, not going is not an option as it's immediate family. I already told my MIL we are leaving early. I'd rather get my toe nails pulled than attend.
I could understand if they never had kids at baby showers but to disinvite when it is at someone's home leads me to believe they are afraid your DC will steal the spotlight from the mom which is just ridiculous.
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| Posted 1/26/08 8:31 AM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
Posted by Elizabeth
I was thinking about this more....what do you think would happen if you come with your DDs? Will anyone make a scene? If not, go with them. Esp bc of how you feel about your SIL and her feelings for your girls. Sounds like she would be sad if you weren't there. But you'd have to be comfortable doing the "eff you, I'm bringing them anyway" entrance. I don't see how it would be completely uncomfortable since other guests will no doubt be chatting with you and coming over to see your girls. I guess that's what your MIL is worried about. But seriously, how do kids take away from a shower except if they are wailing the whole time and having fits and the parent is not dealing with it so it doesn't interfere. If anything it's so cute when kids are there esp with a baby shower since they are exactly what you are celebrating with the Mom to be - kids!
ITA
I think if your SIL has no idea about this entire fiasco she will be hurt that none of you are there. I am assuming you are close since you were her MOH. I would probably have my DH call before hand and let them know that the girls are coming. Hell I would have him call his b!tch of a cousin directly and say too bad my sister is going to have her nieces at her shower end of discussion.
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| Posted 1/26/08 9:02 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
I would cut ALL ties with MIL. Being that mean and disresptful would be the last draw for me.
I could understand if you were upset if DDs were never invited in the first place. It would have been their prerogative. Even if unfair if other children were invited. But to uninvite someone children is totally disgusting.
I would not tell SIL before her shower because she does not need the stress (assuming she does not know about this and you give her the benefit of the doubt). I would not "force" my children. BUT I would make sure she knows exactly what happened and how hurtful it was and that things will be different since YOUR children are not welcome.
I asked DH what he would do if his mom did that. He said. SIL likes the kids. Other kids are invited and going. You go with the kids to the shower. Too bad for MIL.
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| Posted 1/26/08 10:21 AM |
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mosa77
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 2122 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
i say go to the shower and bring your dd's I am sure your sil doesnt mind them coming....
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| Posted 1/26/08 11:55 AM |
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mommy0604
My Son is my world...
Member since 10/07 3270 total posts
Name:
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
I agree with smdl...cut her out of your life because what she did was disrespectful. The reason she gave for univiting your DD's was dispicable!
Oh by the way has your DH spoken to his mother or cousin yet?
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| Posted 1/26/08 1:23 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
that is so wrong!!! you should say you can't go now because you have to watch your children. I def. wouldn't go if I were you. After the fact you can call your SIL and say sorry you couldn't make it and tell her the situation
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| Posted 1/26/08 3:20 PM |
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dee7772
My Loves
Member since 5/05 4852 total posts
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
So what happened? Did you go to the shower? I am so curious to see how this ended.
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| Posted 1/26/08 5:23 PM |
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
My niece and DH's cousin's son (who wasn't invited) were at my baby shower. My friend brought her newborn son too! It didn't bother me one bit...nor did it bother my mother or MIL.
I would have gone anyway with my kids. What would they have done then???
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| Posted 1/26/08 6:01 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
At my baby shower and wedding shower Ihad all 3 of my nieces and could not imagine it any other way.
I would be 
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| Posted 1/26/08 8:16 PM |
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Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?
I would not go and I do not blame you ONE bit for being angry.
I am so sorry this happened to you
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| Posted 1/26/08 8:40 PM |
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