Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Wow, I would be P!SSED!!!

I had my niece at my bridal shower and my baby shower and I wouldn't of had it any other way! My niece didn't take any attention away from me, and I loved having her there!

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Posted by Karen



Are children normally invited to showers in your family? Personally, I am not a fan of children at adult functions - but if that is something your family normally does, then you have every right to be pis$ed!

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Oh god. How horrible. I agree with you. I would be fuming and would NOT go to the shower and honestly would probably tell them off. What nerve some people have.

What does your DH say about this?

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Message edited 1/28/2008 9:21:35 AM.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Posted by BlessedMommy

Posted by Karen



Are children normally invited to showers in your family? Personally, I am not a fan of children at adult functions - but if that is something your family normally does, then you have every right to be pis$ed!

While I agree with children at functions like this. It was VERY wrong to uninvite your children after inviting them formerly. I would use the excuse since they were"uninvited" so last minute you have no one to watch them and therefore cannot make the shower....

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

I'm so sorry Michelle. You have every right to feel hurt and angry. I would feel the same way. That is pretty childish of her to do. I don't see how your daughters could "take away" from the mom-to-be. My DH has 4 nieces and they were at my baby shower and it was cute - i had them help me open presents etc... they are older than your girls and were ALL over the place.

Maybe your DH can talk to mil and help her come to her senses...? If they don't then its their loss!

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

I'm sorry to hear they reacted this way. I would show up at the shower with the children and say I couldn't get a babysitter. Then go directly back to CT after the shower. This way your SIL doesn't miss out on seeing her nieces and you don't have to miss showering you SIL since that is the reason you are going. She shouldn't have to be hurt just because your MIL and Cousin acted very inconsiderately.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Michele, that is horrible. You definitly have a right to be angry. Part of me says to go with the kids to spite them and let your SIL see her neices and the other part says to not go. But if you don't go and your SIL really doesn't know about the shower, she might get upset what your MIL and DH's cousin did and in turn it could possible ruin her day. I would rather ruin it for the cousin and your MIL instead of the guest of honor.

What does your DH think about all this besides from being hurt? Does he think you should go?

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Honestly I'd do one of two things:

Go and BRING the children. Just to spite everyone I'd walk in the door and make a scene (obviously before the mother to be gets there) saying that I thought they must've been kidding that they weren't invited anymore

or

Not go like you planned on doing and tell the mother to be a later date that you are so sorry you weren't there for her special day but you were really hurt to find out two days before the shower that your children weren't welcome anymore.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Posted by Mrs. Patticakes

I'm so sorry... It's so hurtful and yet you can't change it so you shouldn't waste your precious energy. Instead, put it into those beautiful girls.

PEOPLE!

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Message edited 1/28/2008 9:22:28 AM.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

That is AWFUL! I am so sorry you have to deal with this....

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Wow. That is pretty dispicable, especially since its being done by their own grandmother. I don't think I would ever look at my MIL/mother the same way.

Since its not local and you apparantly have a past with your MIL and SIL, I wouldn't go. I would send a gift with a note ASAP so it gets there a day or two after the shower. I would put a note in it apologizing for not attending the shower. If the bride wasn't involved in the decision, no reason to drag her into it now.

Now, I think your DH needs to have a talk with his mother. She has to stand up for her grandchildren. Does she really believe that their presence will take any attention away from the mom to be? If so, that is pretty sick on her part. If not, then it is HER duty as DH;S MOM to stand up for HER FAMILY! And if she won't and its your kids that get thrown under the bus, she is creating tension in a family, that will inevitably affect her relationship with your children.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Message edited 1/28/2008 9:23:56 AM.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Wow, I could understand if they said in the beginning no children, but to invite your DC and then take it back?? WOW!!!! Did your DH say anything when they said this?? I would have freaked out on my DH and say that they are selfish and rude. It's not your SIL's fault so I wouldn't take it out on her. Not sure if I would still go or not.

Actually, maybe I would go and if someone asked where my child is, I would say that my MIL didn't want her to come. I would make her look like an idiot, BUT I wouldn't do it so your SIL could hear, you wouldn't want to hurt her on her big day.

Message edited 1/25/2008 10:45:11 AM.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

How disgusting of them to invite you and your children to this wonderful event and then to call and disinvite your children? What the heck is wrong with people? And this being their loving grandmother? She should have run interference with the person who asked her to not have your kids show up and fought with them over the issue and never once had this get back to you.

The person who is going to be most hurt if you don't show up with your kids for the shower is your SIL. If she truly adores them (as I do mine and had to have my nieces involved with helping me) - do you think you would be able to put your feelings aside for your SIL's sake for the day? If not, I agree not to go and make it worse for her special day.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Message edited 1/25/2008 11:22:19 AM.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Were they thechnically invited in the 1st place? Or did they find out you were bringing them and they tried to stop it? I never assume DD is invited unless her name is on the invite or I have been told, because I do want want to be disappointed or disappoint DD.
If they invited them and then uninvited them, I would be mad. But given all the family drama I have experienced in my lifetime, I do not think I would be surprised. Everyone in this world is out for themselves!

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Ok, I have a question....are you 100 percent sure they were ORIGINALLY invited or could it have been that they were just reassuring themselves last nite that you were not bringing the girls?Regardless...Id be ****** to no extent. I also wonder who made this decision? Could it have been the mother to be?

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

I was thinking about this more....what do you think would happen if you come with your DDs? Will anyone make a scene? If not, go with them. Esp bc of how you feel about your SIL and her feelings for your girls. Sounds like she would be sad if you weren't there. But you'd have to be comfortable doing the "eff you, I'm bringing them anyway" entrance. I don't see how it would be completely uncomfortable since other guests will no doubt be chatting with you and coming over to see your girls. I guess that's what your MIL is worried about. But seriously, how do kids take away from a shower except if they are wailing the whole time and having fits and the parent is not dealing with it so it doesn't interfere. If anything it's so cute when kids are there esp with a baby shower since they are exactly what you are celebrating with the Mom to be - kids!

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

That is such a horrible thing for your MIL to have done. I would be so upset.

But you said you really like your SIL, so if I were you I would go for her NOT them. Just think of how she is going to feel if you aren't there. Also, I probably wouldn't even tell her about all this drama after the fact, for several reasons.

1> She is pregnant and doesn't need the stress.
2> You don't want her to have memories of her baby shower that include drama. I am sure she would be so upset.

You said you were only brining the kids so your mom could see them, so I would bring them to your moms and let her enjoy them. Then don't bring them to the shower, MIL take that and stick it in her HAT!

This is just my 2 cents, I am a peacemaker and sometime it is just easier to bite the bullet.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

OMG...you have every right to be mad. I would be furious!!!!

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Message edited 1/28/2008 9:24:55 AM.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

I am so sorry!!



I think that is so wrong and I would be very upset too.

Re: I've Never been SO ANGRY and HURT at the same time it's unbelievable!!! How would u react?

Message edited 1/28/2008 9:25:29 AM.