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conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Personally i believe someone is just gay. Im assuming that means they were born that way.
Message edited 3/1/2008 4:53:21 PM.
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Posted 3/1/08 4:53 PM  |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Posted by rose825
I have always had an opinion, but it has been confrimed with the birth of my son. It has always been 100% clear that he is attracted to girls. Before he could speak well, he would point to the pretty girls line at the supermarket. And my friends who have spent anytime with him now at age 5 can tell you. He knows what he likes
I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but my brother used to do the same thing (part of the reason that we were really surprised when he came out). He was the BIGGEST flirt... honestly since he could talk, and maybe even before then. He was drawn to women, especially the pretty ones. He also was totally into sports and all other "boy things". I still believe that he was born that way and didn't "become gay", but we just misinterpreted his actions when he was younger. He's still drawn to girls- all of his friends are girls, and they're all beautiful too- but it's still not what his preference is. Maybe it's just who he feels that he identifies with better? speaking for my brother, anyway. I just think that eventhough i believe that people are born gay, that doesn't necessarily mean that everything in their childhood and on is necessarily gay or straight.
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| Posted 3/1/08 5:50 PM |
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an9elic
♥ HJ ♥
Member since 6/07 3331 total posts
Name:
kristen
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Posted by MST9106
I think a real homosexual is born with that particular sexual preference, however, I think there are a lot of teenagers out there that claim to be gay or bi, but in reality they're just confused or like to experiment with both. But again, I think a real homosexual is born with that trait and realizes it when he/she starts to experience sexual desires.
I know a few gay people and they actually withheld from dating in their teenage years bc they were really confused. It was not until their late teen and early 20s that they realized and "came out".
ita
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| Posted 3/2/08 12:49 AM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
IMO you can become gay due tot he environement you are brought up in OR born gay. I have seen both instances.
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| Posted 3/2/08 1:17 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
I used to think it was someones preference but I have changed my mind and think they are born that way.
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| Posted 3/2/08 9:13 AM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
i think most are born gay but i do think some people dabble in it because of life experiences...
i feel like there are some people who are fully 100% gay and some that are sort of doing it to escape ....
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| Posted 3/2/08 9:21 AM |
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CAMCaps
Live Laugh Love Run
Member since 6/07 4922 total posts
Name:
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
This is the old nature vs nuture idea. I believe both play a role - genetics and environment.
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| Posted 3/2/08 9:22 AM |
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LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy
Member since 9/06 4074 total posts
Name:
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Posted by Ophelia
I'm going with born.
there have been scientific studies that show size differences in certain areas of the brain of hetero and homosexuals.
I have read that most people are on a spectrum, most fall somewhere in the middle (not exlicitly hetero or homo) and there are those that fall at opposite ends (expressly homo or hetero)
I think nurture may have some impact on those that fall in the middle in terms of what their sexual preference ultimately becomes, but I think we are all born with certain predispositions.
I am unsure myself, but the above is very interesting.
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| Posted 3/2/08 9:22 AM |
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TaraHutch
True beauty
Member since 10/07 9888 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Posted by smdl
This is MY opinion.
Most gay people are born gay. In addition, you can see it in their facial features. Some men have more "refined"/fine features. And some women have also more masculine features.
I have always noticed this too!! I've had tons of gay friends as my career used to be in theater (yes another stereotype!) and I always considered myself to have excellent 'gaydar' as we called it. And lots of times I could just tell by facial features. Case in point- Danny Noriega from AI! Although he goes a bit futher than that with his effeminate traits. I always thought it was me that could tell by facial features- that's pretty cool that someone else brought it up. Not that it's a huge factor but I always found it interesting.
I definitely think you're born that way. DH's brother is gay...and DH has said growing up you just knew he was 'different,' even before he came out so it wasn't a shock. And his brother was into sports and even more athletic than his brothers- the stereotypical 'straight' guys. DH said he knew something was up when his brother put pictures of Bette Midler on the walls while he and his other brother had half naked chicks.
My best friend in college (and roommate post-college) wasn't the stereotypical gay male either...he tried to have a straight relationship at one point and it made it all the more clear to him he was more 'at home' with men.
My absolute favorite friends to have are gay males. They're like having girlfriends without the 'girl' drama! I've had a couple lesbian friends too that I've fallen out of touch with...I'm glad society has progressed just a bit to be more accepting of this lifestyle (thought there's still alot of work to be done).
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| Posted 3/2/08 9:34 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Posted by MrsPorkChop
i think most are born gay but i do think some people dabble in it because of life experiences...
i feel like there are some people who are fully 100% gay and some that are sort of doing it to escape ....
I agree with this... also, some people try it out of curiosity for a little while and then go back to being hetero. I used to know someone who did that.
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:21 AM |
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SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!
Member since 6/07 4970 total posts
Name:
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
There are cases of identical twins where one is gay, the other is not. So it can't be 100% genetic. But it's NOT a choice. Through a combo of genetics and nurture, it's in you or it's not.
I have a close family memeber who is gay (don't feel right "outing" her here). My family member does not choose to be gay. In fact, she cries about it sometimes. All she wants is a relationship where people won't stare at her as she walks down the street hand in hand with the person she loves, to get married and have a house and children like everyone else, to live in the suburbs... but she talks herself out of it, telling herself that she'll never have any of this that she wants so deseperately because she's gay. WHO would choose that for themselves?
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:40 AM |
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ArmyOfBabies
Growing older but not up
Member since 7/07 4427 total posts
Name:
Jeri
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Posted by nel
Posted by ArmyOfBabies
I think it's definitely born.
I was a born "hag". All the boys I was very good friends with from childhood to now are all gay. Apparently I'm drawn to them and they to me, lol.
Looking back now, if I would have known what being gay was, I would have known it right away. At least I have good "gaydar" now.
There have been scientific studies done showing an abnormality on the Y chromosome that produces a different protein than a straight man, which is why the majority of gay men like to do the same things as women (shop, talk on the phone, fashion, etc) rather than "men" things (cars, sports, etc). I never saw anything about lesbians, but I'm sure it has to be along the same lines.
Also, in studies, they have noticed that more often than not, it's one of the last boys born in the family ( all the guys I'm friends with are not the first child in the birth order).
I do agree that people are born gay, but the birth order thing is the opposite of what I've known in my experience. Two of my cousins are gay (brother and sister), and they are the older two -- their younger brother (the youngest in the family) is the only heterosexual.
That is interesting, I guess that disproves that study, lol! I heard that a long time ago, I'm sure it's old info. Thanks for clearing it up!
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:49 AM |
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nel
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 1173 total posts
Name:
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Posted by ArmyOfBabies
Posted by nel
Posted by ArmyOfBabies
I think it's definitely born.
I was a born "hag". All the boys I was very good friends with from childhood to now are all gay. Apparently I'm drawn to them and they to me, lol.
Looking back now, if I would have known what being gay was, I would have known it right away. At least I have good "gaydar" now.
There have been scientific studies done showing an abnormality on the Y chromosome that produces a different protein than a straight man, which is why the majority of gay men like to do the same things as women (shop, talk on the phone, fashion, etc) rather than "men" things (cars, sports, etc). I never saw anything about lesbians, but I'm sure it has to be along the same lines.
Also, in studies, they have noticed that more often than not, it's one of the last boys born in the family ( all the guys I'm friends with are not the first child in the birth order).
I do agree that people are born gay, but the birth order thing is the opposite of what I've known in my experience. Two of my cousins are gay (brother and sister), and they are the older two -- their younger brother (the youngest in the family) is the only heterosexual.
That is interesting, I guess that disproves that study, lol! I heard that a long time ago, I'm sure it's old info. Thanks for clearing it up!
I'd never heard that study, but who knows? My family could be the exception ... it wouldn't be the first time people thought we were different.
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:53 AM |
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ArmyOfBabies
Growing older but not up
Member since 7/07 4427 total posts
Name:
Jeri
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Posted by nel
Posted by ArmyOfBabies
Posted by nel
Posted by ArmyOfBabies
I think it's definitely born.
I was a born "hag". All the boys I was very good friends with from childhood to now are all gay. Apparently I'm drawn to them and they to me, lol.
Looking back now, if I would have known what being gay was, I would have known it right away. At least I have good "gaydar" now.
There have been scientific studies done showing an abnormality on the Y chromosome that produces a different protein than a straight man, which is why the majority of gay men like to do the same things as women (shop, talk on the phone, fashion, etc) rather than "men" things (cars, sports, etc). I never saw anything about lesbians, but I'm sure it has to be along the same lines.
Also, in studies, they have noticed that more often than not, it's one of the last boys born in the family ( all the guys I'm friends with are not the first child in the birth order).
I do agree that people are born gay, but the birth order thing is the opposite of what I've known in my experience. Two of my cousins are gay (brother and sister), and they are the older two -- their younger brother (the youngest in the family) is the only heterosexual.
That is interesting, I guess that disproves that study, lol! I heard that a long time ago, I'm sure it's old info. Thanks for clearing it up!
I'd never heard that study, but who knows? My family could be the exception ... it wouldn't be the first time people thought we were different.
There are always exceptions, I can't remember exactly where I heard the info from... may have been in one of my biology classes in college.
Being "different" is better than being boring! lol.
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:57 AM |
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nel
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 1173 total posts
Name:
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Posted by ArmyOfBabies
Being "different" is better than being boring! lol.
Well, I do agree with that. 
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:58 AM |
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Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: WITHOUT drama - Thursday Poll
Posted by mamaA
Posted by antoinette
I voted becomes only because I see alot of gay men that have issues with either not having a father or having issues with their father so I think that that may have something to do with it.
I think its a bit of both genetic and enviromental.
I couldn't disagree more. I know an unusally large amount of gay men. Not to stereotype by any means, but I work in fashion LOL! I have also known 2 gay men since they were born. They are now 30 and 28. YOU ARE BORN GAY. It's not a choice, it has nothing to do with Daddy, or Mommy issues for that matter. I do believe that homosexual "tendencies" are displayed more and more as children grow to be young adults. Just as a hetero person becomes more "in touch" with their sexuality. I also know that society still makes it very hard on these poor guys to come out and be open about their sexuality, which until they are ready, will force them to mask their homosexuality.
I played barbies with with my best friend (gay) when all of his frinds were playing GI Joe. We were 3, our parents still remeber LOL!
on a side note, My uncle who is gay, had a wonderful relationship with my Grandfather, and one of my close friends who is Gay, both him and his partner are very close with their fathers, who are both present in their lives and still married to their mothers.
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| Posted 3/2/08 11:36 AM |
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