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JennasMom
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Member since 11/05 3463 total posts
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WWYD
I have a new car and DS who is 18 and in college is not allowed to drive it. Last nite DH and I had to attend an event in Queens and DS was babysitting DD who is 5. We gave them $$ to order in pizza, which DS said they did. Fast forward to this morning the seat and mirrors in my car are changed as well as the radio station. DD tells DH that they went to get pizza in mommy's car last nite and she was told not to tell. I am angry that he used my car without permission and lied on top if it. WWYD, he is 18 and I not sure what the consequences should be
Thanks for reading
Message edited 6/17/2011 11:11:37 AM.
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Posted 6/17/11 11:10 AM  |
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jeanyus27
Life is beautiful
Member since 8/08 2543 total posts
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Re: WWYD
hmmm... I would tell him that on the way home from the event, you and dh were talking about letting him drive the car...but now he can forget it! And next time be smarter and don't change the mirrors or station lol
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:13 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD
Posted by jeanyus27
hmmm... I would tell him that on the way home from the event, you and dh were talking about letting him drive the car...but now he can forget it! And next time be smarter and don't change the mirrors or station lol
I'd also make sure I take both sets of keys to the car with me next time.
Does he think you were born yesterday?
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:18 AM |
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evrythng4areason
And then there were 4
Member since 1/10 5224 total posts
Name:
Kayla
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Re: WWYD
Idk what you can really do..he's adult so it's not like you can ground him..
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:18 AM |
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JennasMom
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Member since 11/05 3463 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
I'm pizzed because he blatantly lied to me on the phone, told me the delivery guy came, how much of a tip he gave ..blah blah blah. Did he really think a 5yo wouldn' give him up 
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:19 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD
Posted by evrythng4areason
Idk what you can really do..he's adult so it's not like you can ground him..
I think you can ground him. As long as I lived under my mother's roof, she was the boss and could punish me. If I didn't like it, find somewhere else to live.
I'd be inclined to get a babysitter for him next time. 
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:25 AM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
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Re: WWYD
Posted by evrythng4areason
Idk what you can really do..he's adult so it's not like you can ground him..
He may technically be an adult at 18 but if he is still being supported by his parents he needs to follow the rules of the house. Lieing as an adult is still unacceptable.
Do you let him use your other car? I would not let him use it for a certain amount of time as a punishment.
How stupid that he didn't think Jenna will blab.
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:26 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by neener1211
Posted by evrythng4areason
Idk what you can really do..he's adult so it's not like you can ground him..
I think you can ground him. As long as I lived under my mother's roof, she was the boss and could punish me. If I didn't like it, find somewhere else to live.
I'd be inclined to get a babysitter for him next time.
Exactly this! I would be LIVID! I don't think teens should be driving around with little kids in the car.
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:26 AM |
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JennasMom
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Member since 11/05 3463 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Michelle
Posted by evrythng4areason
Idk what you can really do..he's adult so it's not like you can ground him..
He may technically be an adult at 18 but if he is still being supported by his parents he needs to follow the rules of the house. Lieing as an adult is still unacceptable.
Do you let him use your other car? I would not let him use it for a certain amount of time as a punishment.
How stupid that he didn't think Jenna will blab.
No he has his own car, at least he was SMART enough not to use sinne it doens't have a car seat
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:29 AM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by evrythng4areason
Idk what you can really do..he's adult so it's not like you can ground him..
Being as mommy and daddy pay for school and his spending money they sure as hell can ground him.
By folks would have killed me if I ever took the car without their permission. I would have been made to walk everywhere no matter the time or weather conditions!
There also would have been laughs thrown my way if I asked for money to go to the movies or out shopping.
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:31 AM |
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JennasMom
?**?
Member since 11/05 3463 total posts
Name:
does it matter
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Re: WWYD
Posted by neener1211
Posted by evrythng4areason
Idk what you can really do..he's adult so it's not like you can ground him..
I think you can ground him. As long as I lived under my mother's roof, she was the boss and could punish me. If I didn't like it, find somewhere else to live.
I'd be inclined to get a babysitter for him next time.
Same thing went when i lived with my parents..this is such a SUC$Y age
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:32 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: WWYD
i dont think id be mad at him for using the car considering he did it for the right reason, in that there was no seat for Jenna in his car...
but id be ****** that he lied...
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:36 AM |
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Re: WWYD
It's foolish that he left the wrong radio station on, and he should have known you could tell someone else drove the car by the mirrors being adjusted/ seat, etc. I would be insulted that he would think I would be dumb enough not to notice. You need to make it clear, he needs to ask and if you say no, it means no. And now you trust him even less because he went behind your back and did such a thing!
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:40 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: WWYD
Grounded. It's graduation week so I'm sure missing a party would be enough to get the point across.
He may be 18 but if he wants to continue to be supported by his parents, he'd have to play by our rules.
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:50 AM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: WWYD
this is jmo- i do not have kids.
if you dont want him driving the car you probably should not have left the keys.
considering it was just to get pizza and your car is fine, i wouldnt flip over it.
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:52 AM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by MrsPorkChop
this is jmo- i do not have kids.
if you dont want him driving the car you probably should not have left the keys.
considering it was just to get pizza and your car is fine, i wouldnt flip over it.
He could have gotten the pizza delivered, no need for him to drive a car he was told he couldn't use
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:57 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by MrsPorkChop
this is jmo- i do not have kids.
if you dont want him driving the car you probably should not have left the keys.
considering it was just to get pizza and your car is fine, i wouldnt flip over it.
Are you serious?
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| Posted 6/17/11 11:59 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: WWYD
I didnt realize you said he wasnt allowed to drive it...
then yea id be pretty pizzed...
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| Posted 6/17/11 12:01 PM |
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JennasMom
?**?
Member since 11/05 3463 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by annoyedTTCer
Posted by MrsPorkChop
this is jmo- i do not have kids.
if you dont want him driving the car you probably should not have left the keys.
considering it was just to get pizza and your car is fine, i wouldnt flip over it.
He could have gotten the pizza delivered, no need for him to drive a car he was told he couldn't use
THANK YOU that is my point, we gave him $$$ to order the pizza and he LIED
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| Posted 6/17/11 12:12 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: WWYD
Here are my thoughts and I'm no parent...
1. He drove your car after being told not to and having alternatives for getting dinner so as not to need to take your car. So, his keys? They're yours. No car, for, oh, say a week? Maybe more.
2. He lied to you. His cell phone? That's yours too. Same amount of time.
3. He wasn't smart enough to cover his tracks...Well, he's a dope, but kudos to you for raising a kid who isn't a good liar!
Ugh, why do kids do such stupid stuff???
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| Posted 6/17/11 12:14 PM |
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Re: WWYD
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by MrsPorkChop
this is jmo- i do not have kids.
if you dont want him driving the car you probably should not have left the keys.
considering it was just to get pizza and your car is fine, i wouldnt flip over it.
Are you serious?
So it's THEIR fault for leaving the keys and NOT the DS?? That is crazy IMO. He is 18 and knows right from wrong. He knew he was not allowed to take the car. They trusted him. He lied about it and should be 100% accountable. Every parent makes rules for their children, and even if they seem off to someone else or the kid, it doesn't matter. You live in my house, you follow my rules, end of story. I am just so sick of people deflecting away from teens behaving badly and blaming someone else.
I have young children, so no experince with this type of situation, but there would definitely be some sort of punishment going on here. If I ever took out my parents car knowing I wasn't allowed, they would have either taken away my car, or driving privledges or something.
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| Posted 6/17/11 12:16 PM |
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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys
Member since 1/07 2963 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: WWYD
I would NOT let him know how you know that he used the car. Keep that in your back pocket in case there is a future occurrence. Telling him about his sister ratting him out, radio station, mirrors, etc. just serves to teach him how to deceive you in the future 
I think that you can ground him and/or take away privileges as long as he lives under your roof and you pay his bills.
The fact that he took his sister in the car when he knew he wasn't allowed is a much bigger issue than the fact that he drove the car ... but both are factors.
For a week:
* Grounded - no parties, activities, etc.
* No cell phone
* No computer except for school work
* Can't use his car except for school
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| Posted 6/17/11 12:32 PM |
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IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!
Member since 1/08 6549 total posts
Name:
Patty
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Re: WWYD
I don't have kids, but i agree with some of the pp's, there has to be consequences for the lying, and you don't have to tell him that your DD told him, I think he left enough evidence behind.
1. Grounding
2. Take cell phone away
3. Some sort of other priviledge he usually gets
4. Manual labor around the yard/house - this was always a good one for my DH when he was that age, according to my MIL. -
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| Posted 6/17/11 1:00 PM |
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Re: WWYD
I agree there needs to be some type of consequence. I know plenty of people over the age of 18 who were never given consequences by their parents, and their lives are a mess now.
I like the not letting him go to a party idea.
That's perfect for that age.
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| Posted 6/17/11 1:29 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
There should definitely be consequences but I can't see grounding him from something. I would make him do things instead like
- wash the car - inside & out a few times
- pick up all the take out for a month or two or the next 5-10 times you get take out. He wanted to go out so badly last night when he wasn't supposed, tell him to keep it up.
Message edited 6/17/2011 1:35:38 PM.
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| Posted 6/17/11 1:35 PM |
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