xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions

Ok...bear with me here...I had a falling out with my "BFF" last march. She was supposed to be my MOH in my wedding, but I had to have her replaced. Long story short with that situation, she claimed to not have money for anything and never made any attempt to help me with any planning or going shopping. Never even helped my mom with planning my shower. So after three months of her not sending her deposit in for her dress and holding all my others girls up, I confronted her. She told me over a TEXT message that she didn't have any money and just couldn't do it. Then again told me the same over AIM.
I told her that I would have appreciated it if she told me earlier and in person, that I had her replaced and she would still be invited to everything. Well she never made any attempt to contact me, after that so I didn't invite her to anything and haven't spoken to her since March. Now during the rest of the year before my wedding, she would post on her away messages on aim how she was out at bars having fun...going to the Dom Republic, and then was in her other friends wedding. This I found to be hurtful. Especially since this "friend" lives in denmark and she sees her maybe once every two years.

ok so again...haven't seen or spoken to her...so yesterday I get a text message from a number I don't recognize and it says.."Happy New Year...I hope everything with you and DH is going well and I hope that one day you can forgive me for what I did."
afterwards I realized it was my old friend...now I've tried not to let it bother me b/c I haven't thought about her since last year...but now its been bothering me...I mean what does she expect me to say to her? I'm really not ready to become friendly with her again, b/c I feel very betrayed by her...idk any words of advice would be great.

sorry so long and thank you for letting me vent!

Re: xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions

If it were me, I would do nothing right now. Let her make another move. If she truly apologizes maybe you can talk to her and really hash it out. I don't think I would be able to forgive and forget something like that very easily.

But you also don't know if maybe her situation has totally changed in the last six months or so and maybe she is just in a much better place financially now. Still, she should have approached you sooner with an apology.

Re: xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions

I think it depends if you want this person in your life at all and if you want to mend fences. Personally, I would maybe reach out and get together-- your friendship doesn't have to be what it was, but the opportunity to reconnect has presented itself.

Re: xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions

Nic - i responded on rel board.


I know the situation personally - what this girl did was ridiculous - we ALL go to order the BM dresses - she "forgets" her checkbook - the people said "ok just mail us the deposit and we can order the dresses"

fast forward almost THREE months - Nicole calls the shop (we are thinking that the dresses should be in by now - the wedding is in FOUR months) and the lady says "oh, we never got "Jane"'s deposit, so we didnt order them yet -

she should have just went to nicole in January (mind you Nicole asked her to be in the wedding the previous MAY) and said something - Nicole would have paid for her dress

then it was a mad dash to get the dresses in on time.

Re: xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions

the thing is...if she actually picked up the phone to talk to me about it, I would feel better about the situation..or even emailed me...the whole text message thing is just so immature to me...

seriously i was so over this friendship..now its been bothering me all freakin day!

Re: xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions

I think, from her actions, that she has a lot of growing up to do.

Appparently, she had money but her priority was partying in the Dominican Republic and not being there for you on your special day.

I'd carefully watch her actions over the next few months. If she's proven, by what she does, not what she says, that she has grown up, then I'd consider allowing her back in on a limited basis but I'd still be cautious. JMO.

Good luck

Re: xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions

The anger is not worth it. I'm not saying in anyway be friends with her or even contact her. Just for yourself, try to forget about it and get past it.

Re: xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions

The day before you got the text messages, did you miss her? If not, then move on. You aren't missing anything.

If you did miss her, then give her a call. That was a first step to apologizing, and it sounded like a good one.

Re: xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions

Message edited 1/7/2007 6:23:23 PM.

Re: xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions

Re: xpost: old bff comes out of the wood worx wwyd? need some more opinions