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Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I guess I have too much common sense for my own good.
That wasn't very nice.
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Posted 10/4/07 2:55 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I guess I have too much common sense for my own good.
That wasn't very nice.
And this is where the thread turns to drama...because of comments like that.
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| Posted 10/4/07 2:57 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I guess I have too much common sense for my own good.
That wasn't very nice.
sorry, that's JMO.
if I thought something was hysterical - to me. before sharing it with others, I would stop and think "is this appropriate?"
in addition, my rule of thumb is - know your audience
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| Posted 10/4/07 2:57 PM |
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Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by DebG
Posted by Kara
I don't mean to speak for DebG, but what I got from her position is that people must appreciate that, despite their intent, certain things WILL be perceived as offensive. Sure, go ahead and create the art anyway (IMHO), but don't act all surprised when people actually DO get offended.
At least that's my takeaway... Maybe DebG meant something else.
WORD! You hit the hammer on the nail!
This is true- I totally agree- but I guess, what I am trying to say is in cases where EVERYTHING is offensive to someone. For a rediculous example, my avatar. If you get offended, not my fault. I did not put that up there to inspire a reaction. I am referring to extreme cases of offense.
Not the swastikas or burning crosses or racial slurs. But the more limited, personal views of offense that no one could prepare for.
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| Posted 10/4/07 2:57 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by Jesaroo
Posted by dita
Posted by Stefanie
Who here was offended by that video?
Not I
ditto, hence why i posted it. thought everyone needed a good laugh. i guess i was wrong!
You're RIGHT Jess...the boards do need a good laugh lately. Your post was too much for everyone I guess.
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| Posted 10/4/07 2:58 PM |
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Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I guess I have too much common sense for my own good.
That wasn't very nice.
sorry, that's JMO.
if I thought something was hysterical - to me. before sharing it with others, I would stop and think "is this appropriate?"
in addition, my rule of thumb is - know your audience
Equally nice is the phoney "sorry but..."
Anyway- the point here- is not everyone is built like you. Not everyone stops and checks themselves and says- will this potentially upset one in 250 people? I better censor my opinions now...
That is my point. Why is it OK for you to be mean and continue to berate people who simply don't have the same opinion on the appropriate functions of society as you? That is your definition of common sense, not mine. I prefer to not care about the potential of offending someone so closed minded that would make a snap judgement about me.
Can I express enough that I am not talking about burning crosses, and looking around the room before making a racial joke?
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:02 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
for teh record, i know everyone who hasnt seen the video is confused.
i am obviously NOT going to post the URL again, but if you MUST know and if it is ok with admin, anyone who would like to see the actual video can feel free to fm me and i will tell you where to find it.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:08 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
I think the point of art is to evoke some sort of response whether it be positive or negative. I think that's why artists like Madonna do it in the first place. I don't think she wants to offend as much as she wants us to think.
I think this is incredibly astute and accurate.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:09 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I guess I have too much common sense for my own good.
That wasn't very nice.
sorry, that's JMO.
if I thought something was hysterical - to me. before sharing it with others, I would stop and think "is this appropriate?"
in addition, my rule of thumb is - know your audience
Equally nice is the phoney "sorry but..."
Anyway- the point here- is not everyone is built like you. Not everyone stops and checks themselves and says- will this potentially upset one in 250 people? I better censor my opinions now...
That is my point. Why is it OK for you to be mean and continue to berate people who simply don't have the same opinion on the appropriate functions of society as you? That is your definition of common sense, not mine. I prefer to not care about the potential of offending someone so closed minded that would make a snap judgement about me.
Can I express enough that I am not talking about burning crosses, and looking around the room before making a racial joke?
we can agree to disagree. you clearly stated that you "don't really care who you offend, cause thats now you roll". I however do care.
Message edited 10/4/2007 3:11:11 PM.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:10 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by Preguntas
Deb- for me, art is about interpretation- my favorite thing about enjoying a painting or a sculpture, is trying to figure out what the artist was thinking.
It's not so much the actual visual appeal.
I agree. When Seal came out with his big album, he made commentary to this. He said he did not include lyrics in the CD cover b/c if you want to think he is singing "I've been kissed by a rawanda grape," and you like it, then that is what the lyrics are to you.... (OK so that is not exactly what he said, but you get the idea, I hope).
As far as what offends: I had an acquaintance once that used to frequent a pool hall I managed. He was a bit gruff, and got into a lot of verbal altercations. Because of this, a lot of other regulars did not like him, resulting in him being called a wide variety of names, most of which are on the 7 dirty words list. His response to these frequent attacks would be, "The, Of, Down, Up." I asked him why he would answer that & he told me that they were "Just words" same as the curses that he was being called, and it is the power that YOU give them by making them offensive, regardless of the intent behind the words. So because he CHOSE for those words not to have any more meaning or offense than "The, Of, Down, Up," they did not. I thought that was brilliant.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:18 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by stephanief
Posted by ssdbk
This thread has already moved beyond the point of being a valuable exchange of ideas, IMO.
See I disagree, I think it IS a valuable exchange of ideas, but hey, we don't have to agree 
I agree... I thought EVERYONE got offended or took a gasp of air when they saw a swastika... I'm learning taht's not the case, some people take the symbol for what it meant way before there was any evil hatred associated.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:25 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I guess I have too much common sense for my own good.
That wasn't very nice.
sorry, that's JMO.
if I thought something was hysterical - to me. before sharing it with others, I would stop and think "is this appropriate?"
in addition, my rule of thumb is - know your audience
Equally nice is the phoney "sorry but..."
Anyway- the point here- is not everyone is built like you. Not everyone stops and checks themselves and says- will this potentially upset one in 250 people? I better censor my opinions now...
That is my point. Why is it OK for you to be mean and continue to berate people who simply don't have the same opinion on the appropriate functions of society as you? That is your definition of common sense, not mine. I prefer to not care about the potential of offending someone so closed minded that would make a snap judgement about me.
Can I express enough that I am not talking about burning crosses, and looking around the room before making a racial joke?
we can agree to disagree. you clearly stated that you "don't really care who you offend, cause thats now you roll". I however do care.
How can you say you think about other people's feelings before you post? You didn't when you said "I guess I have too much common sense for my own good."
That comment implied (to me at least and preguntas) you have common sense but others do not.
That's not being very considerate of other's feelings.
I have been following this thread from the start and it has remained very civil. Why would you say something like that? It's not nice. There isn't much to debate over that comment.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:28 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by DebG
Also, someone said that since it was a black man who was in the video why should people be offended? Again, I posted about this earlier. Just because a black man calls another black man the "n word" does that mean that NO OTHER black man can EVER be upset or offended at its use? I think NOT!
I agree with this Deb! And not only is it offending SOMEONE out there, it's perpetuating the vicious cycle that makes it "ok" for other people to use these derogatory words. Example, a woman calling another woman a slut, to someone that is offensive, but to the man (or woman!) standing within earshot it means its OK for him/her to go around calling women sluts. KWIM??
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:29 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
if I thought something was hysterical - to me. before sharing it with others, I would stop and think "is this appropriate?"
in addition, my rule of thumb is - know your audience
When your audience is strangers over the internet, sometimes it's hard to know who your audience is. Also, what you may find appropriate, someone else might not. I think that's the point of this whole discussion. You just really never know. KWIM?
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:34 PM |
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Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
we can agree to disagree.
Um, clearly we can not. At least, I can not disagree with you without being personally insulted.
Whatever- that's my whole point.
you clearly stated that you "don't really care who you offend, cause thats now you roll". I however do care.
Don't use my words against me. Clearly you are not "listening" to me.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:39 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I guess I have too much common sense for my own good.
That wasn't very nice.
sorry, that's JMO.
if I thought something was hysterical - to me. before sharing it with others, I would stop and think "is this appropriate?"
in addition, my rule of thumb is - know your audience
Equally nice is the phoney "sorry but..."
Anyway- the point here- is not everyone is built like you. Not everyone stops and checks themselves and says- will this potentially upset one in 250 people? I better censor my opinions now...
That is my point. Why is it OK for you to be mean and continue to berate people who simply don't have the same opinion on the appropriate functions of society as you? That is your definition of common sense, not mine. I prefer to not care about the potential of offending someone so closed minded that would make a snap judgement about me.
Can I express enough that I am not talking about burning crosses, and looking around the room before making a racial joke?
we can agree to disagree. you clearly stated that you "don't really care who you offend, cause thats now you roll". I however do care.
How can you say you think about other people's feelings before you post? You didn't when you said "I guess I have too much common sense for my own good."
That comment implied (to me at least and preguntas) you have common sense but others do not.
That's not being very considerate of other's feelings.
I have been following this thread from the start and it has remained very civil. Why would you say something like that? It's not nice. There isn't much to debate over that comment.
what I said was "if I thought something was hysterical - to me. before sharing it with others, I would stop and think "is this appropriate?"
IMO, a person who starts a thread like this, or supports things that are IN FACT offensive to others, has no common sense.
in addition, if someone is touting how they don't really care if they offend someone b/c that's how they roll, they should have thicker skin.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:41 PM |
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Cr@p!! When I saw the video, I thought..."Oh my God...my brother would soooooooooooooooo get a kick out of this CHEESY song!!!" and I emailed him the link.
OK, first... I didn't even notice the burning cross. I am Catholic, am NEVER easily offended, but I guess I am oblivious too cause I swear...I missed it.
Second...did I add...my brother is gay! Hope he has thick skin like me!! 
As for this several-paged discussion...let it just be said that some people are bothered and offended by things that others may feel totally ambivalent about. That's what makes the world go round- people are different. And that is a good thing.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:42 PM |
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Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
in addition, if someone is touting how they don't really care if they offend someone b/c that's how they roll, they should have thicker skin.
Not being confrontational, can you explain this to me?
eta- I mean, I am not being sarcastic here- I really just want you to go in depth here- I'm curious.
Message edited 10/4/2007 3:44:45 PM.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:44 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by MsMBV
Posted by Preguntas
Deb- for me, art is about interpretation- my favorite thing about enjoying a painting or a sculpture, is trying to figure out what the artist was thinking.
It's not so much the actual visual appeal.
I agree. When Seal came out with his big album, he made commentary to this. He said he did not include lyrics in the CD cover b/c if you want to think he is singing "I've been kissed by a rawanda grape," and you like it, then that is what the lyrics are to you.... (OK so that is not exactly what he said, but you get the idea, I hope).
As far as what offends: I had an acquaintance once that used to frequent a pool hall I managed. He was a bit gruff, and got into a lot of verbal altercations. Because of this, a lot of other regulars did not like him, resulting in him being called a wide variety of names, most of which are on the 7 dirty words list. His response to these frequent attacks would be, "The, Of, Down, Up." I asked him why he would answer that & he told me that they were "Just words" same as the curses that he was being called, and it is the power that YOU give them by making them offensive, regardless of the intent behind the words. So because he CHOSE for those words not to have any more meaning or offense than "The, Of, Down, Up," they did not. I thought that was brilliant.
Brilliant indeed...very well said!
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:44 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
IMO, a person who starts a thread like this, or supports things that are IN FACT offensive to others, has no common sense.
That's such a broad generalization - so many things are offensive to some, while not offensive to others. Who decides who has common sense?
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:46 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by Preguntas
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
in addition, if someone is touting how they don't really care if they offend someone b/c that's how they roll, they should have thicker skin.
Not being confrontational, can you explain this to me?
eta- I mean, I am not being sarcastic here- I really just want you to go in depth here- I'm curious.
what I am saying is... based on your posts here, you strike me as the type of person who speaks your mind and not really caring who you're offending, and you do so often.
if that is a correct assessment, how can you take offense at the no common sense thing? 
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:48 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by ~Colleen~
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
IMO, a person who starts a thread like this, or supports things that are IN FACT offensive to others, has no common sense.
That's such a broad generalization - so many things are offensive to some, while not offensive to others. Who decides who has common sense?
i think everyone is missing that "IMO" part
why can't I have that opinion?
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:49 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
IMO, a person who starts a thread like this, or supports things that are IN FACT offensive to others, has no common sense.
 makes no sense
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:50 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by ~Colleen~
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
IMO, a person who starts a thread like this, or supports things that are IN FACT offensive to others, has no common sense.
That's such a broad generalization - so many things are offensive to some, while not offensive to others. Who decides who has common sense?
i think everyone is missing that "IMO" part
why can't I have that opinion?
Thatt's ironic, don't you think?
Your generalization is offensive but b/c it's YOUR opinion, it's OK to have?
Perhaps you unwittingly fall into your own broad generalization...
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:54 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: the discussion formerly known as "NVM"
See this is where it gets personal and off the topic of discussion/debate AND how people get upset and ask it to be pulled.
I'm all for back and forth but if you want to make it personal, why not take it to FM
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:56 PM |
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