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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by alli3131
Posted by justbeachy
Shocked at the "It would never happen to me" responses.
Ok, so maybe YOU wouldn't accidentally leave your child in the car. But what about your SO? And what if your SO DID and the unthinkable actually happened?
Would you want them to go to jail for such a terrible, horrific act??!
They will deal with this FOREVER. No matter what. Punishment or not.
Yes if my DH left my kid in a car for 8 hrs I would one probably never be able to forgive him and two think he should be in jail. Sorry if that's harsh but plain and simple he killed my child.
Wow. Ok.
Agree to disagree.
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Posted 6/21/14 11:57 AM  |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by Ayne11
Posted by gina409
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by gina409
Would everyone feel the same against a parent who rolled over and smothered their child to death
or whose child accidentally drowned or any other unthinkable fatal accident?
Exactly. I'm sure those parents said they could never too
We should consider ourselves lucky and if none of these accidents ever happen To any of us thank god
Bc they do happen. Every day. To every kind of person. And none of them wanted it to
And the will be persecuted by people like the ones in this thread and persecuted by their own conscious for the rest of their lives
ITA! We all need to be careful in judging others. God forbid, We could end up on the other side of the coin sobbing for another "mistake" or "accident" we made.
We should take this story as a warning and use it to be extra vigilant over our own precious babies.
What I find "funny" is we shouldn't judge thus guy but people on here judge if you bf or ff, feed organic or feed chemicals, work or stay at home, nanny or daycare.
So judge on stupid shit that barely makes a blip in a child's life but don't judge the that left his kid in a car for 8 hrs and killed the kid by doing so.
Message edited 6/21/2014 12:34:05 PM.
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| Posted 6/21/14 12:33 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by kahlua716
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by momtimes2
Posted by MrsA1012
One question : if you thought you dropped your child off at the babysitter / daycare wouldn't you remember not bringing the child in , saying goodbye to the child etc , then driving to your place of work ? That seems like a pretty big thing to forget ! If you took your baby with you on an errand and left him in the car when you arrived that seems a bit more plausible.
I just remember reading a story about a mom whose son died in the car, she drove back to daycare at the end of the day to pick her child up and they told her that he was not there that day - that was when she immediately knew what she had done.
Right, but walking / carrying your baby into the daycare, seeing/talking to the the teachers, hugging your child goodbye, saying goodbye to the staff etc seems like a big chunk of the morning routine. It is hard for me to understand how you can forget that when it is such an ingrained part of daily life. Or if you really did forget it, wouldn't you remember before the end of a long day? For example, I'm very dependent on my smart phone for work as I cannot work without it. I obsessively double check that I have it before I leave the house. Three times in the last three years, I realized that I left the house without it. All three times I realized within 10 minutes and went back for it. So I guess that's what I don't get. Wouldn't you at some point during the day realize, hey I forgot something, kwim ?
The difference is that you USE your cell phone throughout the day. If you are used to your child being at daycare or school or whatever- you don't have to worry about them. If you do think- I'm sure it's more "I hope so and so is having a good day."
These things make me feel so sick. I KNOW I'm not infallible. I hope to God that I never make a mistake like this, and I don't think I would- but I'm sure most, if not all, people who make mistakes don't think it will ever happen to them.
ETA: and it could be that someone else is usually responsible for drop off. Maybe their spouse loaded the baby into the car that morning. It's just so horrific an accident. 
The point is that I am hyper aware of the location of my phone because it is important to me. I noticed it was missing the 3 times I've forgotten it, because I checked to make sure it was there. I don't understand how you don't have awareness that another human being is in the car with you and needs to leave the car. This would be an example of what I mean: Have you ever shared your bed with you dog or cat? If so, don't you always have a sense that they are near by, even if they aren't directly touching you? Same thing with DH. Even if don't have physical contact, you know he is in bed with you. I guess that is what I'm referring to. A an almost unconscious awareness that you aren't alone. I think one would have to be VERY sleep deprived or disoriented to forget that. Even more disoriented to forget that you never went through the daily drop off routine. In any case, it is a horrible tragedy and I don't think the parents deserve jail time. It is also a disturbing statement about our society. Are we so overworked and preoccupied that we forget our children?
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| Posted 6/21/14 12:35 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21536 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I just have to say this, because it's been really bothering me. I think people are too quick to throw around the word "judge". I'm not (and I don't think anyone else that wrote similar things that I did) are "judging" the father. I genuinely feel for him. He has to live with this for the rest of his life and I'm sure that he wishes he were dead instead of his son. All I'm saying is that I don't understand how it happens, I just can't wrap my head around it. And it's not like I think the father is a horrible person, but the facts are that his actions caused his son's death. I don't think that's "judging".
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| Posted 6/21/14 12:49 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by StaceyWill
I just have to say this, because it's been really bothering me. I think people are too quick to throw around the word "judge". I'm not (and I don't think anyone else that wrote similar things that I did) are "judging" the father. I genuinely feel for him. He has to live with this for the rest of his life and I'm sure that he wishes he were dead instead of his son. All I'm saying is that I don't understand how it happens, I just can't wrap my head around it. And it's not like I think the father is a horrible person, but the facts are that his actions caused his son's death. I don't think that's "judging".
This is so well said and I entirely agree.
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| Posted 6/21/14 1:01 PM |
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readyfor3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/10 751 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by StaceyWill
I just have to say this, because it's been really bothering me. I think people are too quick to throw around the word "judge". I'm not (and I don't think anyone else that wrote similar things that I did) are "judging" the father. I genuinely feel for him. He has to live with this for the rest of his life and I'm sure that he wishes he were dead instead of his son. All I'm saying is that I don't understand how it happens, I just can't wrap my head around it. And it's not like I think the father is a horrible person, but the facts are that his actions caused his son's death. I don't think that's "judging".
This is so well said and I entirely agree.
I agree!
I wasn't trying to come across as judgmental but I cannot fathom how it happens.
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| Posted 6/21/14 1:20 PM |
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Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by alli3131
Posted by Ayne11
Posted by gina409
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by gina409
Would everyone feel the same against a parent who rolled over and smothered their child to death
or whose child accidentally drowned or any other unthinkable fatal accident?
Exactly. I'm sure those parents said they could never too
We should consider ourselves lucky and if none of these accidents ever happen To any of us thank god
Bc they do happen. Every day. To every kind of person. And none of them wanted it to
And the will be persecuted by people like the ones in this thread and persecuted by their own conscious for the rest of their lives
ITA! We all need to be careful in judging others. God forbid, We could end up on the other side of the coin sobbing for another "mistake" or "accident" we made.
We should take this story as a warning and use it to be extra vigilant over our own precious babies.
What I find "funny" is we shouldn't judge thus guy but people on here judge if you bf or ff, feed organic or feed chemicals, work or stay at home, nanny or daycare.
So judge on stupid shit that barely makes a blip in a child's life but don't judge the that left his kid in a car for 8 hrs and killed the kid by doing so.
No one should judge. Period.
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| Posted 6/21/14 1:51 PM |
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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I just have to say that while I think its a tragic accident that could happen to anyone, I DO think some sort of punishment should be involved. I know if I god forbid did this, I would want to be punished for my mistake (assuming I didn't kill myself out of grief before trial). Should he be tried for murder? No. But neglect, probably. I just feel like there is a real slippery slope here. If we just say "oh its an accident, hes suffered enough" who is to stop people from INTENTIONALLY leaving their kids in the car? There are some sick ass people in this world and if they think they can get away with murder by doing this I wouldnt put it past someone to do it unfortunately.
Also wanted to add if my DH did this, I dont think I could ever forgive him nor would I expect him to forgive me if the situation was in reverse. It may be a terrible, unfortunate accident but there are some things I would never be able to move past.
Message edited 6/21/2014 3:01:19 PM.
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| Posted 6/21/14 2:58 PM |
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Michelle1110
My family is complete
Member since 1/12 2338 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I am thankful for reading this thread. I'm expecting and when I first heard this story I initially "judged" the dad and thought of him as scum. After reading all of your opinions, I see both sides and have more sympathy/empathy.
Above all, I now feel that my eyes have been opened to the every day dangers and will heed this as a warning to be extra cautious. I clearly never planned to leave my child in a car prior to hearing about this, but now it's something I will double and triple check.
This thread makes me grateful for LIF and the dialogue it starts.
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| Posted 6/21/14 5:08 PM |
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tara73
carseat nerd
Member since 11/09 3669 total posts
Name:
Buttercup
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I think it's less judgement and more denial.
None of us wants to acknowledge that we could possibly, no matter how remote the chance, be a parent who could have done this. To admit we could is scary. Much easier to protect ourselves with the belief that we would never, COULD never, not in a million years ever... but sadly we are all capable, even if we choose to deny that.
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| Posted 6/21/14 5:13 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by tara73
I think it's less judgement and more denial.
None of us wants to acknowledge that we could possibly, no matter how remote the chance, be a parent who could have done this. To admit we could is scary. Much easier to protect ourselves with the belief that we would never, COULD never, not in a million years ever... but sadly we are all capable, even if we choose to deny that.
Yes I agree with this. When I first read it I honestly thought it was unfathomable but then reading a posters story about arriving to work with her son in the car and reading more about situations --it is entirely possible that someone NOT meaning to harm their child could do this. It chills me to my bone to think about this.
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| Posted 6/21/14 8:15 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by tara73
I think it's less judgement and more denial.
None of us wants to acknowledge that we could possibly, no matter how remote the chance, be a parent who could have done this. To admit we could is scary. Much easier to protect ourselves with the belief that we would never, COULD never, not in a million years ever... but sadly we are all capable, even if we choose to deny that.
I get what you are saying, but for me it is a lack of understanding for the reasons I stated earlier. I can completely understand many other tragedies ( you get distracted for a second and your kid runs into the street, you sleep with open windows and someone takes your child etc ) This just is much more difficult more me to comprehend.
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| Posted 6/21/14 9:05 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Oh yipeeee now we get to play the game "we don't understand what the word judgement means". C'mon , give the families a break they are in mourning over losing a child. You don't have to decide what you would do if you were in their shoes. You aren't. Be thankful.
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| Posted 6/21/14 9:23 PM |
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by gina409
Would everyone feel the same against a parent who rolled over and smothered their child to death
I personally believe (and many others do as well) that sleeping with an infant in the bed without a cosleeper extremely dangerous.
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| Posted 6/21/14 10:03 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
The judgement here (and all over Facebook) is incredible. No one is infallible. This article explains the science behind why this tragedy happens to people. Our brains are not equipped to deal with the stressors in modern society, and he primitive part of the brain takes over, especially under high periods of stress, lack of sleep and change in routine. The solution would be sensors in cars that sense weight in the backseat when the ignition is off. That would help protect our children from these horrific accidents, just like fencing around pools can help protect our children from accidental drowning deaths.
Fatal Distraction article
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| Posted 6/22/14 1:46 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by alli3131
I'm sorry I can't with the it was just an accident and the guilt is punishment enough. Yes they may have been amazing parents 99% of the time but this man killed his kid. There is no way around it. NGOs actions direct killed his kid and that should be punished.
IMO to forget your kid for 20mins is an accident. For 8 hours is not. It's neglect.
So if your child accident my drowned because your back was turned for a second, should you be charged with murder?
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| Posted 6/22/14 1:48 PM |
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wakemeup
Member since 10/13 1397 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I am in awe with some of these posts. Especially some written by women who have admittedly (in previous posts) lost track of their children long enough to not know where they were and only after the fact realized what a serious situation it could have been. I mean, I'm not naming names, but really... shame on you for having so little compassion.
Message edited 6/23/2014 10:23:07 AM.
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| Posted 6/22/14 8:28 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by OrganicMama
Posted by alli3131
I'm sorry I can't with the it was just an accident and the guilt is punishment enough. Yes they may have been amazing parents 99% of the time but this man killed his kid. There is no way around it. NGOs actions direct killed his kid and that should be punished.
IMO to forget your kid for 20mins is an accident. For 8 hours is not. It's neglect.
So if your child accident my drowned because your back was turned for a second, should you be charged with murder?
I think it would depend on the circumstances. If I was negligence then yes I old take responsibility for it.
Again an entire work shift IMO is beyond an accident and is child neglect.
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| Posted 6/22/14 8:33 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
We all judge, it is is human nature, get over it.
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| Posted 6/23/14 6:38 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by AngnShaun
yes the one with the dad last night was heartbreaking.
i found that leaving the diaper bag in the front seat is my best reminder.
GREAT idea
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| Posted 6/23/14 7:52 AM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Earlier in this thread I did say how I couldn't imagine doing this. But that's the point and that's what makes this a terribly, tragic mistake. I'm a sahm and dd is literally with me every second of every day. BUT that is my routine. If someone else had her and say was running errands with her it could happen. They could leave her in the car while running into a store, etc bc they are not used to having her.
ALL of these tragedies involved a change in routine, plan and simple.
Yes daycare should call if they don't show up.
Yes there should be a car alarm if there is weight sensed in the backseat (just like when there is weight sensed in the front passenger seat when your seatbelt isn't on)
Maybe this will bring a change in some of the laws and car productions.
And here is the parent mag article...
You'd never leave your child in the car, right??
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| Posted 6/23/14 8:27 AM |
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Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Instead of the I would nevers, maybe we should all make it a point to look out for each other. When you are walking through a parking lot, be mindful and pay attention, look to see if anyone has left a child.
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| Posted 6/23/14 8:59 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
Instead of the I would nevers, maybe we should all make it a point to look out for each other. When you are walking through a parking lot, be mindful and pay attention, look to see if anyone has left a child.
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| Posted 6/23/14 9:03 AM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
Instead of the I would nevers, maybe we should all make it a point to look out for each other. When you are walking through a parking lot, be mindful and pay attention, look to see if anyone has left a child.
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| Posted 6/23/14 9:48 AM |
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by wakemeup
I am in awe with some of these posts. Especially some written by women who have admittedly (in previous posts) lost their children long enough to not know where they were and only after the fact realized what a serious situation it could have been. I mean, I'm not naming names, but really... shame on you for having so little compassion.
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| Posted 6/23/14 10:17 AM |
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