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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
So up until last night I really liked my 4 1/2 Month old DD Ped. We went for her 4 month shots last night which I am spacing out and that was fine. Everything was great until I asked him a question about supplementing her with formula. She is EBF and my supply is starting to dwindle from going back to work. I pump every three hours, nurse at night and in the am, drink tons of water and eat lactation bars the whole nine. Its just dwindling. Anyway I asked him what formula would be the best since I know alot of formulas are filled with junk like high fructose corn syrup and GMOs. Both my self and my husband are bigger people so I am trying very hard not to have my daughter face the same battles in life I have being plus sized but at the same time she is genetically predisposed to being a bigger girl. She is currently 17.8 lbs and 27 inches. She is in size 9-12 months clothes. She is delicious and healthy as a lil horse! Well when I asked him about the formula and I said because I am concerned about her gaining unnecessary weight he chuckled and says "We are already there!" He and the nurse yuck it up and me and my DH just looked at each other. I could cry right now. I am so tired of fataphobic doctors. I ended up with a scheduled C-section because of them. He has told me in the past to space her out so she doesn't gain so fast and when she got her last shots I gave her a bottle of BM right after for the antibodies and he told me not to pacify my baby with food? Umm I wasn't! She is breastfed, she eats 4ounces every 2-3hrs but sleeps 9 hours straight at night since she is 3 months old. What am I supposed to do let her scream?? she take in 24-28oz a day which is right in the normal range. Why would he say that? I am trying to be concious and feed her the best way I can and I get a comment like that. IDK what to do. I think I need to find a new Ped. I dont want my daughter in the hands of someone who is going to make her weight an issue from the start. I don't even let people call her chunka, chubba or anything like that. Sorry this is so long, Im just super upset. Any recos for ped near Lindenhurst would be great! Thanks!
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Posted 4/8/14 8:42 AM  |
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ndblovah
Be happy always
Member since 1/07 1880 total posts
Name:
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
I am sorry that this happened. Your ped sounds like his bed side manner is missing. I feel sometimes you have to do what is right for your baby and not 100% listen to the ped. I think that giving her a bottle after the vaccination is a common thing. My ped suggested doing so with my son. I do not have any recs for Lindenhurst because I am out east but I agree that you should try someone new. Is there anyone else in the practice you could use instead of this dr?
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| Posted 4/8/14 8:51 AM |
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
How do you know your supply is dwindling? Breastfeeding is a very effective, natural thing. If it is lessening it is because your daughter needs less. Your body makes what she is demanding, even if it feels otherwise. By 6 months, you can start her on purees and such, so I don't see why you would need to supplement with formula at all. (not that there is anything wrong with formula but I just don't see why you would start supplementing now since its been going so well). From what you are saying, it sounds like you have issues with your weight, or at least from how people treated you and are bringing your own issues into DD's life. I know you are scared she will face what you did but you have to remember she is her own person. Everyone loves to call babies fat! Saying chubba, chunky... people do it even to small babies. My daughter is super short so every ounce showed. She was below average for weight and yet we constantly got comments about how we were overfeeding her and what a "big" girl she was, even though by medical standards she was small. So I don't think it's personal to you or your weight. I think it's just how people like to talk about babies. The reason your DD is in 9-12 month clothing is because she is the size of an average 9-12 month old girl. You have to face that she is bigger than average so the doctor saying she is already there is just sort of a fact. But listen, like you said, she is healthy. It doesn't matter. You are making the fact that she is large matter. My doctor always preached this and based on my experience he is absolutely correct: Breastfed babies are naturally heavier in the first year of life. By the time EBF babies turn 1, they start to lean out and get less chubby. She'll be running around and probably losing weight soon. No baby needs to be on a diet and they need fat. Worry about her weight when she is older. Not now. But from what you said, it doesn't sound like your doctor is "fataphobic" as you call it. I think he just struck a chord with you that was really personal.
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| Posted 4/8/14 8:58 AM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
I couldn't stay with a dr who talked that way to me or about my child. I would look for someone else and when I was leaving I'd let them know it's because of their poor bedside manner.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:03 AM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Thanks. There is no one else in the practice. I have to find someone totally new.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:12 AM |
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dianadrw
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 2092 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Posted by mnmsoinlove
I couldn't stay with a dr who talked that way to me or about my child. I would look for someone else and when I was leaving I'd let them know it's because of their poor bedside manner.
This. What if DD was 8 and overweight? Is this how he would speak to her or refer to her? Trust me, it's easier to switch now than when they're older.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:15 AM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Bayside, thank you for your response but I dont believe I am projecting when I did not elicit these comments from her doctor. To have him tell me not to pacify her with food, which I don't do and after asking him about the best formula so she doesnt gain and having him tell she already has uncecessary weight and laugh about it, is the reason I am so upset and those type of responses are causing my own fears and experiences to rise to the surface. I am sorry but I dont think its cute to call babies fat. Nothing to do with me but I believe self esteem starts from day one and I am just protecting my kid. If your child had big ears would it be ok if people made comment or jokes about it? Just my opinion.
Message edited 4/8/2014 9:31:31 AM.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:21 AM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
I agree ladies. I just need to find a new doctor.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:24 AM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Sorry but it's time for a new Ped. You need a doctor who understands that breastmilk is gold and you cannot overfeed a breastfed baby. You are doing GREAT mama, so many struggle for their babies to gain and here you are with a beautiful, perfect little chubba. My son was the same way....I actually asked our ped because my inlaws kept saying he was looking "fat", I was told what I wrote to you, breastmilk regulates to the needs of your baby and that's probably why you *think* your supply is dwindling. Your body is probably just preparing for when it's time for solids which may be soon.
Your baby will be mobile before you know and will start to lose that perfect little rolls which you'll remember fondly. If at 2yrs weight is an issue, your doctor should then recommend a nutrition plan but not prior to.
If you're in nassau, I highly recommend Dr. Rubin, she's also a lactation consultant and absolutely wonderful. She actually has a nursing room in her practice and she recommends putting baby to the breast immediatly after shots and relaxing in that room. We did supplement a bit with formula for when I was away for business, I used Nature's One Organic, sold at fairway and whole foods.
I've never been thin so I worry about weight as well but my son eats clean, whole foods and we've all changed our habits to present a uniformed front and I've actually, gradually lost weight because of it. HUGS to you, you're doing a great job!
Message edited 4/8/2014 9:32:42 AM.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:27 AM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Posted by MrsD121011
Bayside, thank you for your response but I dont believe I am projecting when I did not elicit these comments from her doctor. To have him tell me to to pacify her with food, which I don't do and after asking him about the best formula so she doesnt gain and having him tell she already has uncecessary weight and laugh about it, is the reason I am so upset and those type of responses are causing my own fears and experiences to rise to the surface. I am sorry but I dont think its cute to call babies fat. Its not ok. Nothing to do with me but I believe self esteem starts from day one and I am just proecting my kid. If your child had big ears would it be ok if people made comment or jokes about it? Just my opinion.
My ex ped said.the same thing when I would nurse my kids.after their shots. I switched peds bc he was dismissive and, at the end, disrespectful when I wouldn't start then on solids at 4 months. You def should switch if you feel uncomfortable.
That said, had he ever expressed concern about her weight before? Has she maintained her growth curve?
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:28 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
I'm sorry that you had to experience that. I would be seeing red and finding a new Dr. ASAP.
To me bedside manners is a big deal when it comes to doctors. If you can't keep your comments to yourself or learn how to communicate them where they don't come off as pompous then you fail as a doctor in my opinion.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:31 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
I'm sorry this happened to you. It just sounds like you haven't found the right doctors yet. I think you sound like you're doing everything right with your daughter.
It's a little farther for you, but we love Forest Hills Pediatrics, if you want to check them out.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:32 AM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
i am so sorry you had to deal with that. what terrible bedside manner your doctor has. i honestly would switch doctors
your LO sounds healthy, eats a normal amount (that is what DD took when she was that age). you are being a responsible mom and asking questions to help your LO; you dont deserve a reaction like that from the dr.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:32 AM |
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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Your daughter is not fat ... that pediatrician is absolutely ridiculous for saying that! I'm so angry for you!
FYI - DS was 20 pounds 5 oz and 27 inches at his 4 month appointment (95th percentile for height and weight) and has stayed in that percentile ... our ped was never once worried about his weight!
If i *really* liked the doctor, I might stay with him but if he ever says anything like that again, I'd speak up about it .... or possibly switch doctors lol.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:38 AM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Her growth curve is perfect she is in the 90th percentile for height and weight and has been since birth. She was 8lbs 14oz at birth and lost 1lb in the hospital. I supplemented her 1 formula bottle per day as per the hospitals insistance because she lost so much but she has been EBF since 3 weeks old. I know my supply is dwindling because I am pumping the same as always and getting less milk at each pump and I am not keeping up with her even though her demands have not changed. I had a frozen stock and that is getting used up too. I am coming up 4-8oz short per day. He has commented about how often I feed her when I tell him after he asks, then the pacifing comment after her shots and now this one. This was only her 4th visit so 3 out of 4 times I have had comments.They are all in response to question about trying make sure I am doing the best I can, like I said before which formula would be best, that didn't need that remark.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:39 AM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Thank you ladies!!
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:41 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Posted by BaysideForever
How do you know your supply is dwindling? Breastfeeding is a very effective, natural thing. If it is lessening it is because your daughter needs less. Your body makes what she is demanding, even if it feels otherwise. By 6 months, you can start her on purees and such, so I don't see why you would need to supplement with formula at all. (not that there is anything wrong with formula but I just don't see why you would start supplementing now since its been going so well). From what you are saying, it sounds like you have issues with your weight, or at least from how people treated you and are bringing your own issues into DD's life. I know you are scared she will face what you did but you have to remember she is her own person. Everyone loves to call babies fat! Saying chubba, chunky... people do it even to small babies. My daughter is super short so every ounce showed. She was below average for weight and yet we constantly got comments about how we were overfeeding her and what a "big" girl she was, even though by medical standards she was small. So I don't think it's personal to you or your weight. I think it's just how people like to talk about babies. The reason your DD is in 9-12 month clothing is because she is the size of an average 9-12 month old girl. You have to face that she is bigger than average so the doctor saying she is already there is just sort of a fact. But listen, like you said, she is healthy. It doesn't matter. You are making the fact that she is large matter. My doctor always preached this and based on my experience he is absolutely correct: Breastfed babies are naturally heavier in the first year of life. By the time EBF babies turn 1, they start to lean out and get less chubby. She'll be running around and probably losing weight soon. No baby needs to be on a diet and they need fat. Worry about her weight when she is older. Not now. But from what you said, it doesn't sound like your doctor is "fataphobic" as you call it. I think he just struck a chord with you that was really personal.
I agree with all of this and I think it was well written.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:45 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Posted by alli3131
Posted by BaysideForever
How do you know your supply is dwindling? Breastfeeding is a very effective, natural thing. If it is lessening it is because your daughter needs less. Your body makes what she is demanding, even if it feels otherwise. By 6 months, you can start her on purees and such, so I don't see why you would need to supplement with formula at all. (not that there is anything wrong with formula but I just don't see why you would start supplementing now since its been going so well). From what you are saying, it sounds like you have issues with your weight, or at least from how people treated you and are bringing your own issues into DD's life. I know you are scared she will face what you did but you have to remember she is her own person. Everyone loves to call babies fat! Saying chubba, chunky... people do it even to small babies. My daughter is super short so every ounce showed. She was below average for weight and yet we constantly got comments about how we were overfeeding her and what a "big" girl she was, even though by medical standards she was small. So I don't think it's personal to you or your weight. I think it's just how people like to talk about babies. The reason your DD is in 9-12 month clothing is because she is the size of an average 9-12 month old girl. You have to face that she is bigger than average so the doctor saying she is already there is just sort of a fact. But listen, like you said, she is healthy. It doesn't matter. You are making the fact that she is large matter. My doctor always preached this and based on my experience he is absolutely correct: Breastfed babies are naturally heavier in the first year of life. By the time EBF babies turn 1, they start to lean out and get less chubby. She'll be running around and probably losing weight soon. No baby needs to be on a diet and they need fat. Worry about her weight when she is older. Not now. But from what you said, it doesn't sound like your doctor is "fataphobic" as you call it. I think he just struck a chord with you that was really personal.
I agree with all of this and I think it was well written.
Regardless, you need a doctor who is going to listen to your concerns and respond thoughtfully and professionally. Being a new mom is stressful and sometimes we worry unnecessarily or don't see things we should worry about. It's the doctor's job to guide us in the right direction and if this doctor can't communicate effectively with a stressed out new mom without laughing at her then she should seriously consider finding a new one imo.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:49 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Posted by BaysideForever
How do you know your supply is dwindling? Breastfeeding is a very effective, natural thing. If it is lessening it is because your daughter needs less. Your body makes what she is demanding, even if it feels otherwise. By 6 months, you can start her on purees and such, so I don't see why you would need to supplement with formula at all. (not that there is anything wrong with formula but I just don't see why you would start supplementing now since its been going so well). From what you are saying, it sounds like you have issues with your weight, or at least from how people treated you and are bringing your own issues into DD's life. I know you are scared she will face what you did but you have to remember she is her own person. Everyone loves to call babies fat! Saying chubba, chunky... people do it even to small babies. My daughter is super short so every ounce showed. She was below average for weight and yet we constantly got comments about how we were overfeeding her and what a "big" girl she was, even though by medical standards she was small. So I don't think it's personal to you or your weight. I think it's just how people like to talk about babies. The reason your DD is in 9-12 month clothing is because she is the size of an average 9-12 month old girl. You have to face that she is bigger than average so the doctor saying she is already there is just sort of a fact. But listen, like you said, she is healthy. It doesn't matter. You are making the fact that she is large matter. My doctor always preached this and based on my experience he is absolutely correct: Breastfed babies are naturally heavier in the first year of life. By the time EBF babies turn 1, they start to lean out and get less chubby. She'll be running around and probably losing weight soon. No baby needs to be on a diet and they need fat. Worry about her weight when she is older. Not now. But from what you said, it doesn't sound like your doctor is "fataphobic" as you call it. I think he just struck a chord with you that was really personal.
I disagree.
She just finished venting her concerns to him about not wanting her daughter too gain much weight and he cracks a joke about it and then proceeds to chuckle with the nurse tagging along?
To me that is unprofessional. A docotr IMO should be held to high bedside manners.
There is a lot that can be said about people who just run their mouths without thinking about others feelings.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:57 AM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
If you are not comfortable, and don't trust your ped then switch. Not every dr is the right fit for us.
I've make jokes with my ped about how chubby both of my kids have been, so personally, it does sound like you are being a tiny bit sensitive IMO. Any ped you use is going to inevitably suggest something you don't agree with and that will continue forever, no matter which dr you use. I don't take every suggestion my ped makes and I don't agree with every philosophy he has. But I LIKE him and trust him with medical matters, and I appreciate his input on everything, even if I don't agree. Doesn't sound like that's the case with you and yours, so go with your gut.
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| Posted 4/8/14 9:59 AM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
I agree. I do not think my daughter is fat and I discussed her size in my original post only to explain that yes she is a big baby and I know that. I am not making that an issue about her size with the doctor. That being when I ask him a question I do not need the doctor to make a comment about how she already has uneccessary weight on her when I ask about formula and my fear of her gaining because of specific ingredients.
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| Posted 4/8/14 10:02 AM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Thanks for the support ladies. Just gonna find a more breastfeeding friendly Ped I think. You guys are awesome!
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| Posted 4/8/14 10:04 AM |
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b2b777
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 4474 total posts
Name:
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Posted by MrsD121011
Thanks for the support ladies. Just gonna find a more breastfeeding friendly Ped I think. You guys are awesome!
Im sorry you went through this. I agree with PP who suggested Dr. Rubin's practice. Her and her associate, Dr. Somekh are both lactation consultants and have never made any kind of "off" comments during any of my appts.
Good luck
http://www.happyandhealthypediatrics.com/
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| Posted 4/8/14 10:20 AM |
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Posted by MrsD121011
Thanks for the support ladies. Just gonna find a more breastfeeding friendly Ped I think. You guys are awesome!
This was going to be my suggestion! Breastfed babies don't eat more than they need and are less likely to be overweight later on in life! I would contact a lactation consultant or find a new ped who actually knows a thing or 2 about BFing (so many seem to be clueless!)
Your ped sounds like an ignorant ass!
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| Posted 4/8/14 10:23 AM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Re: Pedaitrician rant! Sorry its so long!
Posted by BaysideForever
How do you know your supply is dwindling? Breastfeeding is a very effective, natural thing. If it is lessening it is because your daughter needs less. Your body makes what she is demanding, even if it feels otherwise. By 6 months, you can start her on purees and such, so I don't see why you would need to supplement with formula at all. (not that there is anything wrong with formula but I just don't see why you would start supplementing now since its been going so well). From what you are saying, it sounds like you have issues with your weight, or at least from how people treated you and are bringing your own issues into DD's life. I know you are scared she will face what you did but you have to remember she is her own person. Everyone loves to call babies fat! Saying chubba, chunky... people do it even to small babies. My daughter is super short so every ounce showed. She was below average for weight and yet we constantly got comments about how we were overfeeding her and what a "big" girl she was, even though by medical standards she was small. So I don't think it's personal to you or your weight. I think it's just how people like to talk about babies. The reason your DD is in 9-12 month clothing is because she is the size of an average 9-12 month old girl. You have to face that she is bigger than average so the doctor saying she is already there is just sort of a fact. But listen, like you said, she is healthy. It doesn't matter. You are making the fact that she is large matter. My doctor always preached this and based on my experience he is absolutely correct: Breastfed babies are naturally heavier in the first year of life. By the time EBF babies turn 1, they start to lean out and get less chubby. She'll be running around and probably losing weight soon. No baby needs to be on a diet and they need fat. Worry about her weight when she is older. Not now. But from what you said, it doesn't sound like your doctor is "fataphobic" as you call it. I think he just struck a chord with you that was really personal.
I agree with this. And theres notjing wromg with calling babies chubba chunky or any other cutesy name. Thats what they call it- baby fat. Your not telling a 5 year old their fat stop eating.
Message edited 4/8/2014 10:47:49 AM.
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| Posted 4/8/14 10:42 AM |
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