Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

As someone who has worked in early childhood for years, I feel really bad for the teacher right now.

I'm sure she didn't set out to stigmatize, shame, indoctrinate or disappoint ANYONE. I'm sure she didn't yell, "Ew that's disgusting!" at the girl. Our job as early childhood educators is to teach children that ALL parts of their body are private. She probably wasn't even thinking about it, especially if she's not a mom.

I admire that some of you are passionate about breastfeeding, but not all people are. That's the reality. And as a teacher, some topics, no matter how natural, are out of my jurisdiction and for families to talk about. I had a student who was potty training and began to have a whole conversation with me about penises and asked me if I had one, etc. I redirected and told mom about it (in a humorous way) but there was no way I was about to explain the differences between boys and girls in detail.

Message edited 9/17/2014 6:48:26 PM.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

since we are talking about the four year old and not grown nursing women.....

Does anyone think the 4 year old has really given this a second thought? Im sure she is sitting in her room right now thinking about how stigmatized breast feeding is, and how oppressed breastfeeding women must feel and how now, for the rest of her life, she will never see breastfeeding as beautiful or natural bc her teacher told her not to do it in class back when she was 4, or......shes just coloring.

Seriously though, as you can see from here, some parents tend to seriously overreact.....the teacher has to do what is in the best interest for the greater good and keep a neutral environment for that age bc all sorts of parents exist. Also, there are a lot things that this could lead to in the class that could put a teacher, child or parent in an awkward situation bc 4 year olds dont really understand boundaries yet....what if another child wanted to do it to and tried to pull up her shirt, or held the baby up to her chest.....yes, OF COURSE its innocent, but the fact of the matter is we live in a society where children in K have been suspended for hugging or an innocent puppy love peck on the cheek on the playground and the teacher knows that.

The teacher did the right thing for THAT AGE, children should be taught that private parts are private while they are IN SCHOOL. Teachers should not be the ones to make it a grey area in the minds of a 4 year old......to teach them, well, its OK EXCEPT when......not her place. Whether she was right or wrong by your measure......she acted APPROPRIATELY for a teacher.

Message edited 9/17/2014 8:19:06 PM.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

I would flip out! I haven't read any responses, just your initial post, but just thinking about how your DD must have felt makes me angry!

My 3 year old DD "breastfeeds" her dolls because she seems me BF her brother. It is 100% natural and is how our girls are going to learn the natural way to feed their babies one day!

IF she lifted her shirt and exposed her bare chest, the teacher should have told her that she can't lift her shirt in class, and that's it. She can pretend to BF over her shirt, or with an undershirt, etc. I would call and complain to the teacher and her supervisor. How DARE anyone shame a child for pretending to breastfeed.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Just because people aren't passionate about BF doesn't mean it's not the way nature intended babies to be fed and it doesn't change the fact that women breastfeed and children will likely see a woman breastfeeding a baby, and their is nothing any parent can do to stop it except to cover their child's eyes or keep their child home all the time.

I would never not BF in public because other people are ignorant on the topic. And I would never tell my DD that she can't pretend to BF her dolls.

It's so sad to me that this is even an issue.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Message edited 9/17/2014 8:19:02 PM.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

I am just in awe that people want to decide when they explain breastfeeding to their child. As if it goes along with the birds and the bees, getting your period, having sex....nope, sorry, feeding is feeding. If she isn't allowed to pretend breast feed a baby, no one in the class should be allowed to pretend bottle feed. But that's ridiculous...oh wait, they're both ridiculous!!!

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Message edited 9/17/2014 8:53:28 PM.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

I BF my oldest for 14 months and my younger son for 12 months, my little one wasn't even introduced to a bottle until he was 3 months old. I am very pro-bf, and yet I see nothing wrong with what the teacher did, especially in 2014. In today's world, the sad truth is that teachers need to be so careful about EVERYTHING. Even things that aren't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. Knowing myself, I would keep quiet about it unless my child verbalized that they were very upset. In OUR family, babies eat from their mommies breasts, but it is not like that in every family, and who am I to judge another parent if they don't feel comfortable with the idea of breast feeding or if they just don't feel comfortable with their child learning about it in nursery school?

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Message edited 9/17/2014 10:09:00 PM.

Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

I can't fault the teacher for how she handled the situation. I think she did the best she could in a tough loss loss situation.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

This is a lose-lose situation for the teacher. If she encourages BFing then she could have mothers mad at how she is discussing a private matter and possibly accuse her of inappropriateness. If she discourages it the pro-BFibg mothers are up in arms. She is a pre-school teacher, not on a platform for teaching personal opinion. While it is fact that BFing is natural it is personal opinion how private it should be. It is the parents job to teach these views. It's a tough situation to be put in on the spot and she had to choose the better of two losing responses to protect the class as a whole. I think it is pretty unreasonable not to understand this.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Posted by rsquared

I would be upset. Part of normalizing breastfeeding is kids seeing it and talking about it, and acting like its a normal thing that people do, because, well....IT IS. I think that teacher should have let it go, honestly, unless the child was exposing her chest.

I am a breastfeeding teacher, and I approve this message.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

I am so sick of this argument

People
Need to stop looking at it from the bf mom perspective. This is not about normalizing bf. and explaining to the kid in the zoo while you feed Not about well since bottles can be used,why can't the breast.

Not about we are not showing our youth the way it was done for yrs. not about feeding in public


Look at it from the teacher perspective The classroom perspective

In today's world you have to be so so careful in what you say/do when it comes to kids

I am sure the teacher is trying to avoid a 4 yr old lifting her shirt for numerous reasons


So while all the pro bf mom here he teacher say "private" and come out guns blazing,the teacher is not doing it malicious or trying to stop the world of breast feeding


I don't think there should be any comparison here. No well I bf in public etc This is a 4 yr old and In school

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Posted by 2BadSoSad

Posted by LastLightGlow

This is a lose-lose situation for the teacher. If she encourages BFing then she could have mothers mad at how she is discussing a private matter and possibly accuse her of inappropriateness. If she discourages it the pro-BFibg mothers are up in arms. She is a pre-school teacher, not on a platform for teaching personal opinion. While it is fact that BFing is natural it is personal opinion how private it should be. It is the parents job to teach these views. It's a tough situation to be put in on the spot and she had to choose the better of two losing responses to protect the class as a whole. I think it is pretty unreasonable not to understand this.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

I read through but didn't see if the OP answered whether her daughter was lifting up her shirt or not.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

Message edited 9/18/2014 10:35:56 AM.

Re: Kids pretending to breastfeed at school

To the op from a different perspective I think you are being a little overly sensitive. I don't think the teachers intention was to shame your daughter but reacting in that moment. Maybe the use of private wasn't the best word but she probably just wanted to put an end to what was happening. Don't forget children ask a lot of questions. So maybe that was her way of just getting her to stop.

Regardless of wether you are comfy breast feeding your child anywhere without a cover, I still think there is a difference between a 4yr doing it at school and showing it to the other kids. I know me as a parent wouldn't want my child putting any attention (shirt up or down) to his/her chest in public. That's just something I have as a parent. This has nothing to do with my stance on Bf or exposing my child to it. If you want to feed your baby wherever and I'm around, I don't care - it's a part of life. And if my son asked questions I would answer them. No biggy.

Here's an examples: My sister BF and my niece mimicked her but she wasn't allowed to do that outside the house. My sister did not want her drawing attention to her chest.

If you are comfortable with your DD pretend BF then that's your right as a parent and can allow her to do it. But I would just tell her to not do it in school. Trust me I don't think she is traumatized against breast feeding and I doubt this set her back.

Just keep in mind, we are talking about a school environment with children who have parents with other opinions and views. It's not the place for a breast feeding platform IMHO.