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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: In need of support/hugs
I'm sorry you have to deal with this cr@p.
First place I think you should go is a support group. You know you can't "fix" her. Your only alternative is to look for solution to manage your own life, your hurt & now Ryan's hurt. It sounds like you do manage it well, but in the same way your mom is refusing help, not going to get the support & help you need is continuing the cycle. I remember when my friend confessed that her DH was an alcoholic. When I suggested Al-Anon, she said "I don't want to leave him." I told her that Al-Anon isn't going to make her leave him - it's going to help her at least manage the situation. He still drinks, she still goes.
As for your mom, it sounds like you have a few options. (1) You can continue with the way things are going. (2) chose to cut your mom out of your life (3) seek help for you to manage the situation.
I didn't say give her an ultimatium re: RJ because for me it's the same thing as 1 & 2. Either she's straighten up for a little while & continue the cycle, cut you off while turning it around to make it your choice.
Also substance abuse is often a side effect of mental illness as the person tries to self-medicate. I think you're right with the bi-polar.
You can't change her behavior. You can only change yours & how it affects you.
Many hugs to you!
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Posted 10/1/07 6:06 AM  |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 6:07 AM |
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lmb03
Stop kissing me!
Member since 5/05 2636 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 6:43 AM |
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Pumpkin
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3353 total posts
Name:
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Re: In need of support/hugs
I am sorry you are going through this. Mental Illness is hard not just on the person but their loved ones. Who diagnosed her as clinically depressed? The onset of this happened around 16? When she is going through her "high" phase does she remember the "low" eposide"
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| Posted 10/1/07 6:58 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: In need of support/hugs
I think a lot of good advice was offered and, unfortunately, I think you are correct in your diagnosis of your mom (from what you have posted).
No matter what your decision it isn't going to be an easy one. I do agree in seeking out some support for yourself, if nothing else you can talk to others and get ideas/advice on how they managed a life with a family member with has a mental illness. At the very least they could provide you with strategies and support.
I'm very sorry your mom is suffering and that you and your family, especially RJ who doesn't understand, has to go through this.
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| Posted 10/1/07 7:47 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 7:49 AM |
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LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 7:53 AM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: In need of support/hugs
I'm really sorry you are going through this. There can't be anything worse than knowing the good person your mom can be but only seeing it some of the time. I hope she gets the help and intervention she needs. I'd be afraid she'd end up hurting herself (whether intentionally or accidentally) and someone needs to step in and get that help for her asap.
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| Posted 10/1/07 7:59 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: In need of support/hugs
Maris...I am so sorry! I am leaving for work but I will edit my post and add what I want to say from work. Sorry
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:05 AM |
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JavaJunkie
Someday, Somehow
Member since 6/05 5857 total posts
Name:
Lois
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Re: In need of support/hugs
I just wanted to give you some
Without getting into details I have a sister like this and I know how bad it can get.
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:13 AM |
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:16 AM |
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littlejoy06
Love
Member since 3/07 6944 total posts
Name:
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:16 AM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:20 AM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: In need of support/hugs
I have no advice, but can offer plenty of
I am so sorry you are going through this.
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:29 AM |
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nmp070106
My girls!!
Member since 8/06 5843 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:31 AM |
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kimmie
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1535 total posts
Name:
Kimberly
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Re: In need of support/hugs
Im sorry you are going through this.. Its so strange that there is such a simple solution to this problem if she does have a mental illness..MEDICATION>>She just has to get to that point.. I have alot of experience with this a close family member and as long as they take their meds they are FINE.. a little wierd sometimes but I guess thats better than the alternative. You do have the right to get her into the hospital for 24-48 hrs and then after that she has the right to sign herself out but for those 24 hours someone may get through to her... You have to try because it is only going to get worse once your DS gets older I mean the hurt... As much as it will suck sending your mom to the hospital it will be better for EVERYONE in th long run.. Trust me on that one..
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:32 AM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: In need of support/hugs
All I can say is that I had family members not acknowledge my DD's actual birth day and it killed me. Coming from a grandparent must be even worse. I have no advice just hugs If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you Marissa
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:36 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:42 AM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: In need of support/hugs
Posted by kimmie
Im sorry you are going through this.. Its so strange that there is such a simple solution to this problem if she does have a mental illness..MEDICATION>>She just has to get to that point.. I have alot of experience with this a close family member and as long as they take their meds they are FINE.. a little wierd sometimes but I guess thats better than the alternative. You do have the right to get her into the hospital for 24-48 hrs and then after that she has the right to sign herself out but for those 24 hours someone may get through to her... You have to try because it is only going to get worse once your DS gets older I mean the hurt... As much as it will suck sending your mom to the hospital it will be better for EVERYONE in th long run.. Trust me on that one..
Can you give me more info on this? How do I have that "right"? How would I even get her to go????
You know what drives me mad is that her privacy is protected, I mean I dont need a full play by play of whats said in her therap discussions, but it would be nice if someone could at least tell me her diagnoses, that way I could better understand whats going on. I wish I could work with the therapist to get her better! For all I know she could have been diagnosed with more than depression, and just doesn't share it??
When my father went to Iraq, my mom had no choice but to go get help, she was in therapy and on meds...Shes been on meds and she said she hates how they make her feel...and she swears they dont work! Im never really saw a big difference while she was on them, but I dont know if it was just not the right meds for her OR if she wasnt taking them!
My mother is also very vain, she dosent want to gain weight, or any other vainities to happen.
(Side note- my mother had breast cancer, all lumps had been removed and she was put on Tomoxcifin, which is a kinda raditation medicisine- she was supposed to be on it for 5 yrs, my mother stopped taking it after a few months, because the side effects were hair loss and weight gain)
Thank you all for the support, its refreshing to see how much good the boards have to offer, a special thank you to all those who FM'd their stories, I amazed how many of us there are!
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:52 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: In need of support/hugs
I don't really have any advice, but I wanted to send you some hugs.
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:55 AM |
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Laura1
Fun in the Snow!
Member since 11/06 4512 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 8:57 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 9:06 AM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: In need of support/hugs
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| Posted 10/1/07 9:06 AM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: In need of support/hugs
I am so sorry you are going thru this. My Aunt is the same way. Except she is also an alcoholic. She would get go thru her boughts of depression & drink. And then would get abusive towards us. Calling at all hours to yell at us. After about a month or so with this going on. I brought her to the hospital. She cursed at me wished horrible things on me. Threw her shoe at me. I didn't care. there was no way I was having Patrick be in this situation. I actually took myself out of the situation for 2 years. It wasn't until she (now sober & taking her pills) got very ill. She has nobody else so, I've been going by there & calling her. If we bring up the past she just says I was sick then & doesn't want to admit or talk about it. She still gets her jabs in & thinks I owe her something. I am trying my best.
I am sending you MANY hugs & prayers!!
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| Posted 10/1/07 9:08 AM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: In need of support/hugs
That's really bad that your mom was so worried about her appearance that she stopped medication for cancer. That says quite a bit about her. I understand your frustration with the therapy and the fact that they can't tell you anything. I am not familiar with therapy, but is it possible to go to a family therapy session where both of you talk to someone together? Maybe then if the therapist understands how much you may be able to help her get well, you can be more involved. It sounds like your mom needs a great deal of support to get well. I know your priority is RJ and only you know how best to protect him from getting hurt by her condition.
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| Posted 10/1/07 9:10 AM |
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