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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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i need advice.. regarding BDing
ok, first off, i feel so sorry for being a pain with all my questions and carrying on all the time.. but i feel like you girls are the only ones that can understand me. 
ok here is my new situation 
i am now 3DPO.. and this month we used OPK's got my  on CD13.. we also went by Deanna's Plan as well.. SO, that means i either O'ed on CD14 or CD15th..
here is my problem :
we BDed on CD 12,13,&14. we tried to BD on CD15 and DH couldnt perform that was such a crucial day to BD  i could have been Oing that day.. i of course was not mad at DH for not being able to, but now it worries me that this will happen all the time now when TTC..
do you think we BD'ed too much? and thats why he couldnt.. ?
then im thinking that he feels too pressured and im trying to think of ways that he wont feel this way ... any advice or help would be GREATLY appreciated!!!
im just confused now with what to do after this month.. i know i am out already this month.
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Posted 8/11/08 10:15 AM  |
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Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
D - dave has the same problem. If he knows it's the BIG day and it really matters - it's a lot of pressure to HAVE TO FINISH...
We simply don't discuss the O word anymore...i'm sure he knows that when i start asking for BD every single day - that it's near, but I have decided that we're MUCH better off not discussing it.
And i know this is not something you want to hear - but it really does only take ONE TIME to make it happen...and you have every other base covered.
DO NOT get frustrated (easy to say, i know)...it's a perfectly normal issue to have, unfortunately...and you are not alone.
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:22 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by davenjess
D - dave has the same problem. If he knows it's the BIG day and it really matters - it's a lot of pressure to HAVE TO FINISH...
We simply don't discuss the O word anymore...i'm sure he knows that when i start asking for BD every single day - that it's near, but I have decided that we're MUCH better off not discussing it.
And i know this is not something you want to hear - but it really does only take ONE TIME to make it happen...and you have every other base covered.
DO NOT get frustrated (easy to say, i know)...it's a perfectly normal issue to have, unfortunately...and you are not alone.
thanks Jess
yea i was thinking maybe to not even talk about with him anymore.. and not even tell him when i am Oing.. i guess i can try that out and see how it works!
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:24 AM |
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ready2ttc
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/08 383 total posts
Name:
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
We BD'd every day the first month trying. Not just during O, but every day.
We'd switch it up--sometimes we'd start without actual BD--start with OS or HJ, and then just finish off with BD right when it is time. That helped a lot.
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:26 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by ready2ttc
We BD'd every day the first month trying. Not just during O, but every day.
We'd switch it up--sometimes we'd start without actual BD--start with OS or HJ, and then just finish off with BD right when it is time. That helped a lot.
yea i guess that could work too!
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:28 AM |
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ready2ttc
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/08 383 total posts
Name:
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by MetsGirl07
Posted by ready2ttc
We BD'd every day the first month trying. Not just during O, but every day.
We'd switch it up--sometimes we'd start without actual BD--start with OS or HJ, and then just finish off with BD right when it is time. That helped a lot.
yea i guess that could work too!
I know, waaayyyy TMI, but maybe it will help! 
ETA: Are you using preseed? This also helps speed up the process for us!
Message edited 8/11/2008 10:31:07 AM.
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:30 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
it is always more important to BD the day(s) BEFORE you O, not the day of. you are totally fine - i promise!
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:32 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by headoverheels
it is always more important to BD the day(s) BEFORE you O, not the day of. you are totally fine - i promise!
really?!?
i always thought that you are MOST fertile the day of O.. why am i so confused..lol
thanks so much for this information..
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:33 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
yea we just started using preseed.. and it really does work great..
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:34 AM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
BDing before O is the crucial time & they do say that it should be the day of & then 2 days after.
So what if you BD every other day up until on OPK & then 3 days in a row? I am sure DH could handle that bc it seems that the 4th day is the problem spot...My DH had the same thing
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:40 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by Kissy331
BDing before O is the crucial time & they do say that it should be the day of & then 2 days after.
So what if you BD every other day up until on OPK & then 3 days in a row? I am sure DH could handle that bc it seems that the 4th day is the problem spot...My DH had the same thing
yea , thats the plan we wanted to go by.. but we were doing every other day and it just so happens that we got the after a BD day.. so that would make it 4 days in a row, and i really think that 4th day just killed him..
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:03 AM |
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BlondeMom
LIF Infant
Member since 8/08 59 total posts
Name:
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
You are fine. - First of all, the OPK isn't going to tell you the exact second you O - so, you're calc may be a bit off as far as the exact day you O'd - Also, your DH's sperm can be swimming for awhile and possibly catch you as you O even if you don't BD that day .....
I got my BFP this month -
I got my smiley on 7/25
We BD'd on 7/24, 7/27 and 7/28 -
I didn't tell DH my exact O day, I just said we HAVE to BD around this time .........
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:04 AM |
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tiki03
*************
Member since 9/05 8660 total posts
Name:
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by Kissy331
BDing before O is the crucial time & they do say that it should be the day of & then 2 days after.
This I totally agree with because that is how I got pregnant both times. BD'ng the day of and the 2 days after.
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:07 AM |
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Terry34
So Grateful for All We Have!
Member since 6/08 1104 total posts
Name:
Terry
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
I think you BD'd enough. When we got pregnant, we actually had BD'd only 5, 4, 3 and 2 days prior to ovulation! So, we didn't BD the day before or the day of! 
As for your other question, I think a little performance anxiety under the pressure is normal.
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:08 AM |
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diva7531
My Peanut
Member since 2/07 5199 total posts
Name:
Ryan 3 boys EDD 11/6!
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
I had the same exact scenario this month!!!!
It's a lot of pressure for the DH's, I can imagine!
I would think that if you were following Deanna's plan you should be fine!
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:08 AM |
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WhitneyL
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/07 645 total posts
Name:
Whitney
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by headoverheels
it is always more important to BD the day(s) BEFORE you O, not the day of. you are totally fine - i promise!
I totally agree, De... you have a good chance this month! Stay positive!!
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:15 AM |
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BlueDiamonds
mommy to 3 boys
Member since 2/07 3885 total posts
Name:
proud mommy
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
i don't think you are out! your BD schedule sounds pretty good to me. i don't have any other advice to add. i agree with OP that you should keep the smilies to yourself. DH doesn't want to know when i O b/c i think he is afraid of the same thing. it's definitely a lot of pressure!
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:20 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
thanks ladies!!
see thats what im saying... you are supposed to BD the day of then 2 days after..
and we only did 1 day after..
but maybe i will get lucky this month!
i think next month i will keep the smiley day from DH , and it might be easier for him
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:20 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by headoverheels
it is always more important to BD the day(s) BEFORE you O, not the day of. you are totally fine - i promise!
This is what I've always thought too which is why I never charted O dates because by then, your prime time has kind of passed. When you BD before, the fella's are already laying in wait, so to speak.
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:21 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by BlueDiamonds
i don't think you are out! your BD schedule sounds pretty good to me. i don't have any other advice to add. i agree with OP that you should keep the smilies to yourself. DH doesn't want to know when i O b/c i think he is afraid of the same thing. it's definitely a lot of pressure!
yea the smiley's are going to be a secret next time.. i think i learned my lesson..lol
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:21 AM |
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futuremommy
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/07 840 total posts
Name:
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by MetsGirl07
Posted by headoverheels
it is always more important to BD the day(s) BEFORE you O, not the day of. you are totally fine - i promise!
really?!?
i always thought that you are MOST fertile the day of O.. why am i so confused..lol
thanks so much for this information..
You are most fertile the day you have the most stretchy/slippery/wettest CM - that's considered your peak day. The month I got PG, I had tons of EWCM on CD16 and didn't actually O until CD18.
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:22 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by headoverheels
it is always more important to BD the day(s) BEFORE you O, not the day of. you are totally fine - i promise!
This is what I've always thought too which is why I never charted O dates because by then, your prime time has kind of passed. When you BD before, the fella's are already laying in wait, so to speak.
i agree... this is why i never charted also.. it just seems like the OPK catches your surge BEFORE you O, rather than the day you O..
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:22 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by futuremommy
Posted by MetsGirl07
Posted by headoverheels
it is always more important to BD the day(s) BEFORE you O, not the day of. you are totally fine - i promise!
really?!?
i always thought that you are MOST fertile the day of O.. why am i so confused..lol
thanks so much for this information..
You are most fertile the day you have the most stretchy/slippery/wettest CM - that's considered your peak day. The month I got PG, I had tons of EWCM on CD16 and didn't actually O until CD18.
yea see this confuses me too.. because i did get the positive, but i also checked for the EWCM and i didnt see any of that during that time.. i dont get it!!
so it might even be possible that i dont O 
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:24 AM |
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Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
First off, there's no such thing as too many questions. We're all in this together and are here to support each other.
Now to answer your original question, it sounds like what other posters have said and it's the pressure to perform that could be getting to your DH. My DH told me it's not as much fun when they know they HAVE to finish the job. This past month I didn't tell him when I thought I was "O"ing to take some of that pressure off of him.
Hang in there and lots of . You are I seem to be on the same cycle so you're in the 2WW now, right?
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:29 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: i need advice.. regarding BDing
Posted by Reese1106
First off, there's no such thing as too many questions. We're all in this together and are here to support each other.
Now to answer your original question, it sounds like what other posters have said and it's the pressure to perform that could be getting to your DH. My DH told me it's not as much fun when they know they HAVE to finish the job. This past month I didn't tell him when I thought I was "O"ing to take some of that pressure off of him.
Hang in there and lots of . You are I seem to be on the same cycle so you're in the 2WW now, right?
yup, just entered the 2WW.. i agree with you and the other girls, and i am going to take that advice!!
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| Posted 8/11/08 11:31 AM |
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