What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

I got a BFN from my last IUI and got my period today in full blast.

Here is a little background..after my last loss in April I was thinking of changing doctors...I liked my guy but his partner, not so much. It took 3 months for me to get my period after the D&C in April, I did an IUI last month, unsuccessful. I had the IUI with the partner, he was so "not gentle" with the speculum, I couldn't sit without a pillow for a few hours and it was painful to ahve sex for the next week! Here is my problem, a friend of DH's recommended my dr. to me, she LOVES HIM..i like him, but I ask alot of questions, I don't think there is anything wrong that. She recently passed a comment to me that she apologized to our dr. for referring me as a patient b/c I was "difficult" and "high maintenance". She said he smiled at her when she said it, but he didn't say anything. Now, I fell REALLLY uncomfortable with him. Now I really want to change doctors except my dr. just merged practices with the dr. I wanted to go to - Dr. San Roman.

I made an appointment for a consultation with Dr. San ROman on SEptember 11, I explained to the assistant on the phone what happened and why I feel I can't see my guy who just joined her practice. SO here is my question:
1. I just got my period today. I can't see San Roman for a month...do I make an appt with my guy to get clomid this month and do an IUI, I had to "waste" a month, but make my appointments to avoid the partner who isn't so gentle
OR
2. skip this month and wait for San ROman.

Thanks!

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

Wow, that was rude that she said that about you to the doctor. I personally wouldn't want to waste the month. I'd probably give it a shot and keep my other appt in case it doesn't work.

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

HOLY CR*P!!

I cannot believe she did that!

Anyway...are both Drs. part of the same practice? As in, are they both part of RSNY and you are just changing RE's?

Not that it really matters, because I would definitely do the Clomid/IUI for this month. Even if you are completely changing practices - it's not going to make much of a difference.

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

my guy and his partner merged with RSofNY in July..so I'm not really changing practices, except the girl who I talked to today said that usually within RSofNY once you have your consult you can see anyone..except with the 2 new guys who want to be separate! UGH. I made an appt for weds (Day 3) for a scan...but I feel weird about it.

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

If they joined up, I wouldn't worry about it at all then.

I will forewarn you though, RSNY is very lackadaisacal about which Dr. you see. I was there for a year and my RE was SanRoman. I saw him twice the whole year. I spoke with or met a different RE almost every time I was there. So you will most likely be seeing your old RE again at some point.
You may want to think about changing practices completely.

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

First of all I totally agree with Kris....that was totally rude of your friend to say. And if I were you I definately would NOT waste the month....I would see the other doctor this month. When you think about it these doctors are so busy and see so many people he's probably not even gonna remember what your friend said. And the fact that he didnt respond when your friend said you were high maintenance is probably an indication that he really didnt care what she had to say anyway Good luck!!!!

Message edited 8/11/2008 9:50:44 AM.

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

Who cares!!!! Don't loose the month. Do your cycle with clomid and keep your appointment with Dr. San Roman. I really liked him (though I never saw him again at the Stony Brook location after our initial consult). Besides your friend said that to them and you have no idea what they really said back (and your friend was way out of line). Your friend could be interpreting their silence as agreeing with her. When they were just trying not to say anything b/c it was a difficult situation. I wouldn't worry about it. What does your friend know of how you are with them in the room. You are allowed to ask questions. Its part of the process. We are all annoying if you want to take a step back (asking for med records, asking about every little thing that we can think of, asking for call backs...come on). Its the nature of the situation.

And good luck....hopefully you wont even need that consult with San Roman.

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

Is the doctor you are seeing now going to be working out of RSofNY's office, or are they working out of their own office and using the RSofNY name?

I was happy with San Roman and RS of NY, but like Gerty said, you don't see the same doctor every visit - they rotate between their offices so when you go in you will consult with who is there that day. I never had any issues with that, but I know some people like to always see the same doctor.

It was very rude for your friend to say that!! And how unprofessional of that doctor!
I think whether or not you should do this cycle is what you feel the best about - are you so uncomfortable with your doctor you don't want to see him again no matter what, or is not skipping the month more imporatant? I'm not sure what I would do in your situation...

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

I don't know what the dr's arrangements are with RSofNY...and I don't mind seeing the other dr's after I see San Roman, that doesn't bother me.

She's not really a friend, she is the wife of one of DH"s friends that I have become "friendly with" b/c of IF.

**Thanks to everyone for their advice, sometimes this whole thing is overwhelming! **

Message edited 8/11/2008 10:06:46 AM.

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

I wouldn't worry about any awkwardness with the doctors, do what is best for you!!! I say do the IUI this month and make your changes next month.

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

I would not wait the month. I'd go do the Clomid/IUI. Try not to worry about what the rude doctor is thinking (even though it is easier said than done).

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

I was a pt. of RSOFNY in Stony Brook (conceived 2x there)...The other Dr's that are with the practice are also all very good (Dr. Stelling being my favorite)- with that being said, even if your old RE is joining them, there is still a good chance that you'll end up seeing all of the other associates as well, so maybe you will rarely, if ever cross paths with him...I also saw the NP there quite a bit for the routine visits...Good Luck !

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

I say either wait or see another dr. in that practice. If you aren't comfortable & stressed it's not a good start & chances are this cycle wont work.

After two years of doing IUI w/ Dr. Avner Herslag (actress Natalie Portman's father) who in my opinion has NO IDEA what he is doing!!!!! I switched to RS of NY, Mineola. Dr. Linda Sung was my MIRACLE doctor! She switched my medication & I got pregnant on my first cycle w/ her TWICE!!!! Dr. Sakatos did my first IUI & I got my boy. Dr. Sung did my second IUI & I got my girl.

I highly recommend Dr. Linda Sung & Dr. Maria Sakatos They are very nice & gentle. I don't think the men are as gentle since they don't know what it feels like - the women do! Plus you can ask all the questions you want!!!!!!

Good luck!!!

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

I might be the minority but I loved RSOFNY..I got nothing but professional people, and they were very helpful.
Dr. San Roman will not listen to a word they say so I wouldn't even worry bout it...Hes not like that...
I dk your underlying issues..if u r covered then go for the clomid---if its going to cost u thousands..then maybe wait...
i

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

I love RSNY. Drs. Stelling and San Roman are my favorite. They are all great though.

I would wait until Sept. 11 instead of going back to that other doc.

Re: What should I do? Please give advice! (long)

First of all, I cannot believe your friend did that I'm sorry that happened to you. You already felt awkward enough as it is.

You have FM