Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

How would you handle teasing on the bus?

As much as I would love to say just drop him off and pick him up, I don't think that's the right answer because it's running away from the problem. You have to fight this battle with him and help him stand up for himself. You don't want him being afraid to take the bus since he still has the rest of his school career left. It's not fair to him at all. Good move with emailing the principal. Let the school handle it. The bully is probably bothering a bunch of other kids on the school bus too.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

How would you handle teasing on the bus?

For me, letting him go back on the bus I think would depend on the extent of teasing. Did it only happen once? What was said or done? Does my child have tendencies to be overly sensitive? Has the teaser done this to others? Etc.

Either way, I would 100% let the school know about it. They should be aware of the situation and nip it in the bud before it goes any further. Also, you want to document these occurences from the beginning in case the issue escalates.

Also, I don't think taking your child off the bus is the answer (unless of course he is in a very bad situation). One, this rewards the teaser and actaully 'punishes' you and your child. You are the ones facing a consequence. If anyone should be removed from the bus, it is the one doing the teasing. Two, the teaser will likely pick on someone else in his place if you just remove your child and do not notify the school. Three, I think it could be a bad example for your child i.e., running from a problem rather than solving it (realize he is only 6 and likely will not pick up on this).

I would NOT call the parents right now. I would deal with the school first. It is their responsibility to notify the parents. If the issue escalated and I felt the school was not addressing it, I would then consider speaking directly with the childs parents. Or request a meeting at school with the parents of the other child.

Message edited 9/22/2015 2:37:56 PM.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by momtimes2

when miki was in kindergarten, some 4th grade bully put his hands on her throat on the bus - I was flipping out and wanted to go to the boys house and speak to his guardians (he lived with his grandparents) - I started with the school and since there were witnesses, he was suspended from the bus (and school) for 3 days. I told mikayla if he ever touched her again, she could defend herself (he never messed with her again though) and I told the school the same. we never had any other issues. I would call the school, definitely - they have a ZERO tolerance policy for bullying.

OMG. My DD is in K and this story just made my BP rise.
Kudos to you for controlling yourself . I can't imagine what I would do if some piece of shitt kid put their hands on my DD's throat.
OMG I am seeing red!

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

I am always in the minority on this subject, but I think the word "bullying" is thrown around too often. There's a big gap between teasing and bullying. If it's simple teasing, I would role play with my child how to better handle the situation. And yes, 6 is still young, but I don't think it's too young to teach a child to stand up for themselves. If it's real bullying- consistent and continuous torture, then of course you should go to the school for help.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by LotsaLuv

I would first tell my child to stick up for themselves because mommy will not always be there to pick up the pieces. if it continues after that, then speak with the mother. If she doesn't handle it, go to the school.

The kid is 6! 6!!!!..............being bullied by an older kid. C'mon, that's EXACTLY your job as a mom right now, they are still little enough where you NEED to protect them. You need to teach them to stick up for themselves BUT you need to protect them too at this young age. They don't really have the skills yet to do it on their own. For the little things, let them work it out. For something like this where they are coming home in tears, h-e-l-l no............as a mom I'd be putting a stop to that.

And personally, I don't think going to the parent is the smart idea. *Most* parents will first get defensive and I think more often than not, it's going to be A LOT harder to get anything changed when you're relying on the parent of the "bad kid" to put a stop to something. The school is there is help protect your child, they should be aware of any bus issues that arise and they can handle things in a way where something is likely to actually get done.

I'm surprised how many people wouldn't try and put a stop to this right away. 6 years old and to expect them to handle it on their own??? And worrying about being a tattle tale??? Seriously?? I'm just .

How would you handle teasing on the bus?

If we complain to the bus driver, they have to write up a formal complaint, which then gets forwarded to the school. If it happens again, you should see if your bus company also has this policy. There is then a written record of your complaint with not only the school but the bus company as well.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

The school bus is sometimes really terrible territory.
Sometimes it becomes "lord of the flies"...
If it were my son & it was real bullying (I was subject to real bullying for years: it persisted no matter what & there is something psychologically wrong with the ring leader girl... Even now with details I don't want public)... I'd just give my kid a ride!

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Kids should not get away with teasing on the bus. I feel if everyone lets this stuff go then bullies prevail. If I were you I would definitely talk to the school and since you are home pick him up and drop him off. It's so sad that these kids are trying to ruin the joy of riding the bus for your child.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Posted by LotsaLuv

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by LotsaLuv

I would first tell my child to stick up for themselves because mommy will not always be there to pick up the pieces. if it continues after that, then speak with the mother. If she doesn't handle it, go to the school.

The kid is 6! 6!!!!..............being bullied by an older kid. C'mon, that's EXACTLY your job as a mom right now, they are still little enough where you NEED to protect them. You need to teach them to stick up for themselves BUT you need to protect them too at this young age. They don't really have the skills yet to do it on their own. For the little things, let them work it out. For something like this where they are coming home in tears, h-e-l-l no............as a mom I'd be putting a stop to that.

And personally, I don't think going to the parent is the smart idea. *Most* parents will first get defensive and I think more often than not, it's going to be A LOT harder to get anything changed when you're relying on the parent of the "bad kid" to put a stop to something. The school is there is help protect your child, they should be aware of any bus issues that arise and they can handle things in a way where something is likely to actually get done.

I'm surprised how many people wouldn't try and put a stop to this right away. 6 years old and to expect them to handle it on their own??? And worrying about being a tattle tale??? Seriously?? I'm just .

Who cares how old they are! My DD is 4 and I tell her to go tell so and so not to do that. If it continues I step in. Children need to learn how to stick up for themselves FIRST no matter what age. You teach them at 6 that mommy will handle it, well then mommy will handle it at 7, 8, 9, 10. When will they develop a backbone and voice of their own.

I am not saying to ignore it, I am saying to give the child a chance to stick up for themselves.

The way I grew up was someone hits you, you hit them back, someone bothers you, you stick up for yourself. Mommy & Daddy weren't there to pick up my pieces. I grew up in the Bronx, maybe it's different there....

How would you handle teasing on the bus?

I would not take him off the bus. This teaches him to run away from his problems. Kids need to learn that sometimes there are challenges and they need to face them. Yes even at 6.
I think the school will now handle it and you did the right thing.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Posted by LotsaLuv

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by LotsaLuv

I would first tell my child to stick up for themselves because mommy will not always be there to pick up the pieces. if it continues after that, then speak with the mother. If she doesn't handle it, go to the school.

The kid is 6! 6!!!!..............being bullied by an older kid. C'mon, that's EXACTLY your job as a mom right now, they are still little enough where you NEED to protect them. You need to teach them to stick up for themselves BUT you need to protect them too at this young age. They don't really have the skills yet to do it on their own. For the little things, let them work it out. For something like this where they are coming home in tears, h-e-l-l no............as a mom I'd be putting a stop to that.

And personally, I don't think going to the parent is the smart idea. *Most* parents will first get defensive and I think more often than not, it's going to be A LOT harder to get anything changed when you're relying on the parent of the "bad kid" to put a stop to something. The school is there is help protect your child, they should be aware of any bus issues that arise and they can handle things in a way where something is likely to actually get done.

I'm surprised how many people wouldn't try and put a stop to this right away. 6 years old and to expect them to handle it on their own??? And worrying about being a tattle tale??? Seriously?? I'm just .

Who cares how old they are! My DD is 4 and I tell her to go tell so and so not to do that. If it continues I step in. Children need to learn how to stick up for themselves FIRST no matter what age. You teach them at 6 that mommy will handle it, well then mommy will handle it at 7, 8, 9, 10. When will they develop a backbone and voice of their own.

I am not saying to ignore it, I am saying to give the child a chance to stick up for themselves.

The way I grew up was someone hits you, you hit them back, someone bothers you, you stick up for yourself. Mommy & Daddy weren't there to pick up my pieces. I grew up in the Bronx, maybe it's different there....[/QUOTE
]
I totally agree!

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by LotsaLuv

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by LotsaLuv

I would first tell my child to stick up for themselves because mommy will not always be there to pick up the pieces. if it continues after that, then speak with the mother. If she doesn't handle it, go to the school.

The kid is 6! 6!!!!..............being bullied by an older kid. C'mon, that's EXACTLY your job as a mom right now, they are still little enough where you NEED to protect them. You need to teach them to stick up for themselves BUT you need to protect them too at this young age. They don't really have the skills yet to do it on their own. For the little things, let them work it out. For something like this where they are coming home in tears, h-e-l-l no............as a mom I'd be putting a stop to that.

And personally, I don't think going to the parent is the smart idea. *Most* parents will first get defensive and I think more often than not, it's going to be A LOT harder to get anything changed when you're relying on the parent of the "bad kid" to put a stop to something. The school is there is help protect your child, they should be aware of any bus issues that arise and they can handle things in a way where something is likely to actually get done.

I'm surprised how many people wouldn't try and put a stop to this right away. 6 years old and to expect them to handle it on their own??? And worrying about being a tattle tale??? Seriously?? I'm just .

Who cares how old they are! My DD is 4 and I tell her to go tell so and so not to do that. If it continues I step in. Children need to learn how to stick up for themselves FIRST no matter what age. You teach them at 6 that mommy will handle it, well then mommy will handle it at 7, 8, 9, 10. When will they develop a backbone and voice of their own.

I am not saying to ignore it, I am saying to give the child a chance to stick up for themselves.

The way I grew up was someone hits you, you hit them back, someone bothers you, you stick up for yourself. Mommy & Daddy weren't there to pick up my pieces. I grew up in the Bronx, maybe it's different there....

You're missing the point I'm making. I'm not saying it's our job to fix everything for our kids. I agree with you that kids need to learn to stick up for themselves however, when you're talking about a 6 yr old trying to stick up for themselves against a much older child.........that's tough. I don't know many kids at that age that have the confidence or maturity to handle being teased and tormented by a much older child.


When I was teaching I saw first hand how cruel kids could be and I would never expect a child so young to be able to handle the torment of an older kid, you're kidding yourself if you think they can. In this case, I think the right thing to do is step in and protect your child. I wouldn't be okay with my 6 yr old coming home in hysterics every day while some brat on the bus gets away with it. Sorry, I feel at that age it's still my job as a parent to intervene.

I'm sure you'll feel differently about this when your now 4 yr steps on the bus in a few years. I feel like putting my DD on the bus was the scariest part of sending her to school. Thankfully, except for the one incident I mentioned earlier it's been okay so far.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Posted by LotsaLuv

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by LotsaLuv

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by LotsaLuv

I would first tell my child to stick up for themselves because mommy will not always be there to pick up the pieces. if it continues after that, then speak with the mother. If she doesn't handle it, go to the school.

The kid is 6! 6!!!!..............being bullied by an older kid. C'mon, that's EXACTLY your job as a mom right now, they are still little enough where you NEED to protect them. You need to teach them to stick up for themselves BUT you need to protect them too at this young age. They don't really have the skills yet to do it on their own. For the little things, let them work it out. For something like this where they are coming home in tears, h-e-l-l no............as a mom I'd be putting a stop to that.

And personally, I don't think going to the parent is the smart idea. *Most* parents will first get defensive and I think more often than not, it's going to be A LOT harder to get anything changed when you're relying on the parent of the "bad kid" to put a stop to something. The school is there is help protect your child, they should be aware of any bus issues that arise and they can handle things in a way where something is likely to actually get done.

I'm surprised how many people wouldn't try and put a stop to this right away. 6 years old and to expect them to handle it on their own??? And worrying about being a tattle tale??? Seriously?? I'm just .

Who cares how old they are! My DD is 4 and I tell her to go tell so and so not to do that. If it continues I step in. Children need to learn how to stick up for themselves FIRST no matter what age. You teach them at 6 that mommy will handle it, well then mommy will handle it at 7, 8, 9, 10. When will they develop a backbone and voice of their own.

I am not saying to ignore it, I am saying to give the child a chance to stick up for themselves.

The way I grew up was someone hits you, you hit them back, someone bothers you, you stick up for yourself. Mommy & Daddy weren't there to pick up my pieces. I grew up in the Bronx, maybe it's different there....

You're missing the point I'm making. I'm not saying it's our job to fix everything for our kids. I agree with you that kids need to learn to stick up for themselves however, when you're talking about a 6 yr old trying to stick up for themselves against a much older child.........that's tough. I don't know many kids at that age that have the confidence or maturity to handle being teased and tormented by a much older child.


When I was teaching I saw first hand how cruel kids could be and I would never expect a child so young to be able to handle the torment of an older kid, you're kidding yourself if you think they can. In this case, I think the right thing to do is step in and protect your child. I wouldn't be okay with my 6 yr old coming home in hysterics every day while some brat on the bus gets away with it. Sorry, I feel at that age it's still my job as a parent to intervene.

I'm sure you'll feel differently about this when your now 4 yr steps on the bus in a few years. I feel like putting my DD on the bus was the scariest part of sending her to school. Thankfully, except for the one incident I mentioned earlier it's been okay so far.

I am not missing your point at all, it is a difference of opinion. I didn't read anything about the kid being much older, only that the kid was older. Of course a 6 year old cannot stand up for themselves against a 9 or 10 year old. My point is only that if the kid is 7 or even 8, FIRST teach your child to get on that bus and stick up for himself/herself. MY DD is only 4 but she will walk up to any kid on the playground or in school and say Stop that, that is not nice. That is the beginning of not accepting anyones BS. By not even giving them a chance to correct the problem you are teaching them that an adult will always handle the situation. That is not going to work in the real world, it is not going to work when the kid is not on the bus or on school property. If my child came home and said I told them to stop and they kept doing it, then I will intervene, and yes I will go to the parent first. I don't care about not my child syndrome. That mother will know first hand from ME that her kid is a little jerk, even if I have to correct the kid myself. Give parents a chance to do their job before we get everyone else involved. I know if someone came to me and said my DD was doing this, it would be corrected at home before anyone else got involved. I do not like teasing at all, and I will be damned if I let my kid get away with it.

Message edited 9/23/2015 11:36:26 AM.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Message edited 9/23/2015 11:37:46 AM.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Both the principal and head of bus safety (happens to be the PE teacher) emailed me. They talked to the bus driver and patrols to keep an eye on teasing on the bus.

I am satisfied with the outcome.

I know I won't always be able to protect my kids but I still want to at age 6.

This bus incident has prompted me to sign up DS for tae kwon do again. He used to do it and loved it but I cancelled it for swimming and soccer. I'm going to start him up again so he can defend himself if he has to.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

There is a difference between a child being bullied, and a child being the ocassional target of another kids teasing. -

IMO EVERYONE will (and SHOULD) feel ****** about themselves once in awhile.
It's how you learn, as a child, to empathize, to cope, to move on,

So, if my son came home one day in tears because another kid was mean to him -
I'd talk to him about standing up for himself, about what he was feeling and why - etc. (regardless of his age, b/c although I agree with Hofstra that IS scarier for a 6 year old to stand up to an older child, I don't think that nervous feeling at the pit of your stomach goes away at 7, 8 10, 12 years old - it's ALWAYS intimidating to stand up to someone, particularly if they are older)

If my son was coming home from school upset on a regular basis because of what was happening on the bus, or at recess, or anywhere ..........well, that's a different story, and IMO time for me to make a call to the school.

I don't think our IMMEDIATE reaction to any initial situation should be to jump in and fix it. Because as bad as my son felt about himself when someone was a shit to him - he felt 15 feet tall when that kid started in again and he stood up to him and got him to back off, as well as when he stuck up for someone ELSE ......
They can't handle every situation on their own, and they will need our help at times - I just don't think our first reaction should be to fix it for them.

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?

Re: How would you handle teasing on the bus?