Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

You're a better person than I am. I would've walked out of there in tears. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. And it's perfectly normal to want to see the baby before 20 weeks. Umm, I had one at 7 weeks, 10 (had really bad cramping), 12 weeks, 20 weeks, and 32 weeks. How rotten of her to make you feel weird about being excited & wanting to see they baby. I'd go somewhere else! This is a special time in your life. YOUR 1st PREGNANCY! You shouldn't be made to feel awkward about any of it! I'm so mad for you!

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

Um... Run and run fast!!! Regardless of her mood, she is a professional and must suck it up as much as possible and deal professionally with her patients. What a terrible way to treat someone at their very first appt!!! I dunno where you live, but I just had my first appt at a wonderful wonderful office with amazing staff. The receptionist alone congratulated me a few times! OB and nurse were soo amazingly friendly as well and you yourself should find someone you get a great vibe from!! You and your baby deserve top notch treatment! If you need my rec, just fm me. My OB is in patchogue

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

OMG!!!! Do NOT go back there. She was completly unprofessional and rude! Losing a parent is hard - I totally get that. But if she wasn't emotionally ready to come back to work (which she clearly wasn't) then she should have taken more time. Wondering about the gender is completly natural. To make you feel bad because of someone else's tragedy is just wrong. Call your RE and tell them what happened. I'm so sorry you had a rough appt.

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

That is really crazy! I am so sorry you had such a bad experience with this doctor!

I would definately call the RE and tell him that you had a really unpleasant visit. Share some of the things that you shared with us, and ask if he could recommend someone else. Explain that you don't feel comfortable going back there.

As for no sono until 20 weeks, well, I think that was how they did things several years ago. When I had my DD they did a sono early on at around 8 weeks to confirm the pregnancy and Due date and then not another one until 20 weeks. Maybe she thought that you already had a confirming one since you are 10 weeks? But seriously, now there are so many other tests, especially the Ultrascreen at 12 weeks being a big deal!

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

That is really too bad and not at all professional. Clearly she was not ready to be back in a working environment. As far as sonos go, my office only does a first sono at 20 weeks as well. However, if you are super concerned or have any bleeding/cramping etc they will definitely do one earlier! I have an appointment at 12-14 weeks to hear the heartbeat with a doppler. They don't do a standard nuchal ultrasound like some other offices do. I hope that if you give her a second chance your next experience is better!!

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

I agree get a new OB right away!!!! When I switched from my re to my ob, my ob did a sono on the first day I saw her. She wanted a sono of her own besides the images I had from the RE. You should be having a NT scan at 12 weeks as well!!!

I am definitely not a 100lbs not even close and if my ob couldn't find a hb she would send me for a vaginal sono to see and hear it. This ob sounds crazy, if she isn't done grieving she should stay home and not practice for a while.

I hope you have a better experience with another dr.

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

I would go somewhere else. Grieving and not being in the most "bubbly" mood is one thing but that to me sounded unprofessional and rude! this is your first impression of this OB?? Trust your instinct and go to a new OB, you don't deserve to be treated that way

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

Um, I am seeing a midwife, they don't do a lot of sonos and stuff like that and even I had a sono at 12 weeks (the NT scan) and last pregnancy my ob office gave me a sono at 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 20 weeks, and so on.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, esp at your first appt. I hope that you find another dr that you absolutely adore.

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

that is crazy!! i wouldnt even give her a second chance. sorry you had such a bad experience. my first appt. is in 2 weeks and i'm scared enough, i wouldnt want an ob like that to make it worse.

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

OMG!!!!!!!!!! She really told you that you dont want to see your baby until 20 weeks bc another couple had a child without a brain...
She sounds quite bubbly to me
I agree....run....run...far and dont look back!!!!!!!!! I cant even begin to tell you how many WONDERFUL OBS there are. I couldn't go back!

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

Thanks everyone for your advice and your support

I am going to call my RE in the morning and tell her the whole thing. I am aslso gonna ask her for another recommendation. The whole thing has just been bugging me all day. I cant even talk about this appointment with my family..it just bothered me so much.

I did forget to mention in my OP that she did tell me about the NT...Im going to make my appointment for that tomorrow (its done at another location).

Thanks again for everything ladies

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

my jaw dropped to the floor at this point: ."I just told a couple today that their baby has no brain, you need to focus on the health of your baby and not the gender".

wow. i'm sorry but you def shouldn't go to her again...God forbid but what if another family member passes away closer to your due date...what kind of treatment will you receive then?

there were waaaay too many jabs in her short conversation with you, for me to consider it a "one time thing"

good luck finding someone else! and please do tell your RE what happened! he/she NEEDS to know who they're recommending!

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

I just wanted to give you some
I agree with everyone else, run!!
I feel so bad for you, this is supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life, and she sh!t all over it...

I hope you find a better and more supportive doc ASAP

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

CRASHING

Leave, and leave now. That is so totally disgusting. No one should have that experience. I would report her too. What a despicable person.

I've never heard of seeing your baby for the first time at 20 weeks. Clearly she's not too familiar with the level 1 sono & bloodwork that happens at 12 weeks?

Again, Run and run as fast as you can.

Message edited 10/4/2011 7:09:44 AM.

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

I'm so sorry you had a bad experience at your first appt. I have to agree with everyone else here, definitely find someone else. She was totally unprofessional and her comments are inexcusable. Don't waste time with a Dr you're not 100% comfortable with

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

I wouldn't go back there! I understand she suffered a loss, but she was just plain rude. And just about everyone I know gets a sono in the beginning to measure the baby. If you can't hear the heartbeat on the doppler, go to the sono machine! That was BEYOND rude!!

I would find another dr and definitely tell your RE.

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

Definitely find another Dr! Where are you located? I'm sure you could get some recommendations here!

It's normal not to be able to hear the HB with the doppler at 10 weeks - the baby and uterus are still low.

I weigh more this pregnancy than I did with DS and they found this baby with the doppler at 11w6d on the first try and we couldn't hear DS HB with the doppler until 16 weeks and it took awhile - every pregnancy is different.

ETA - And like pp said - when they couldn't find the HB with the doppler, they did a sono.

Message edited 10/4/2011 8:08:37 AM.

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

I am worried that she was not able to find a heartbeat -- not worried that anything is wrong, worried that she is an idiot.

I am worried that she has NO bedside manner. Pregnancy is STRESSFUL and SCARY, you do not need a doctor who ADDS to that.

I am worried that she is so horrible and negative, NO one needs that kind of energy around them.

Most of all, I am worried that she seems to not be aware that you need an ultrascreen at around 12 weeks. . . where yes, you would get to see the baby but also the OB would be able to make sure that everything is developing normally and it is also used as a baseline for the 20 week appointment!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE find another OB!

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

Yikes sorry that your first appointment with the OB was so weird. She was definitely too rude and if she was not ready to come back to work after the passing of her father- she should be home. I would not go back. You will be seeing this person a lot! This is someone that you need to feel comfortable with. Also do they not do the NT scan which is around 12 weeks? Sorry your first visit was sucky but start making appointments for a new OB from now.

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

Wow!! I'm so sorry this happened to you!! NEVER go back! This woman should be reported!!!! Disgusting!

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

Crashing .. Hi Val :) I hate this woman I hope you make the switch as fast as possible.

Dumb B*TCH that woman is

Im holding back so much right now

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

f cuk this broad!!!!!!!!

get a new obgyn !!!!!!!

tell your re what a tw at she was!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am so sorry she did this to you


if my dh heard this he so wouldve went off on her!!! then again my dh can be an assssshole

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

Switch doctors IMMEDIATELY!!!

And tell your RE about your experience. There is never an excuse to treat even one patient that way, and your RE should be aware that the OB they recommend is doing and saying these kinds of things.

I'm sorry you dealt with that. Even though I didn't get an NT scan, it was certainly offered to me and is pretty standard. Also, every time they listen for the heartbeat they tell me that if they can't find it they WILL do a sono. They would never leave me wondering for 4 weeks if the baby is ok. That's horrible!!!

Re: Had a weird first appt with my OB...

I would call the RE, explain everything you just wrote so the RE stops referring her! Then, I'd find a new OB asap. That is awful! And yes, you should have an ultrasound before 20 weeks. With my DD I had one at 7, 9 and 11, then 20. With my 2nd pregnancy, my RE did an u/s at 6.5, 8.5 and then my OB did one at 9.

I'm sorry that you had to feel awkward during what should have been an amazing appointment.