Anyone choosing not to BF

I know this is a personal subject and everyone is entitled to their opinions so please dont blast me.

I just finished watching laugh and learn: breastfeeding (it was excellent by the way). I thought it would help me make the decision but i still dont know. I already know that if i do choose to do this it will only before a few weeks as i have to go back to work right away. I just feel guilty if i dont and dont want to feel that way and bf just out of guilt. Im open to any thoughts or suggestions. I thought this would show me oh its not bad and make my final decision but unforntunately that wasnt the case. TIA

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

I was originally planning to breastfeed - I never thought twice about it...until I got pregnant. Now I'm undecided. I know it's better for the baby, I know it's an incredible bonding experience, and (selfish reason coming up) I know it could help me lose weight faster. But I kinda feel like after 40 weeks, I might just want my body back. And I also might like help with feedings. And, I don't know how comfortable I'll be BFing in front of others. I have a feeling I'll make my decision much closer to the time of delivery.

So, I too am undecided; you're not alone.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

I too feel as you do. I have to go to work again fairly soon after the baby is born and I don't have the option to pump at work as I am a teacher and I share a room with 3 other adults and 18 kids! I always assumed I would breastfeed and now I'm realizing more and more that I don't think that I'm going to. I wasn't breastfed, neither was my sister or my DH's family and we all turned out just fine! I think that ultimately the only one making me feel guilty about it is ME. No one has said anything to me about it really. But when I really think about it, I know that a happy mommy will make a happy baby and I'm realizing it would make me happy not to BF. So I totally know where you are coming from!

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

I really wanted - and Dr. said I would be a great candidate because I am "leaking" already....but currently take meds that prevent me from bf.....bottles it is

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

I am only going to BF for a few weeks ...max to 4weeks and then bottle feeding DD. I am not really into it, I know it sounds selfish... I have to go back to work at 3 months and want body to be as back to normal as possible by that time. I am a teacher too and pumping is not an option for me.

Message edited 1/28/2009 7:53:05 AM.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

Between the meds I take and the fact that I didn't with my DD and she is perfect, I am leaning towards not BF with this one either.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

I will not BF and do not feel guilty about it. Many women don't do it, and their babies are still thriving. You have to do what is best for you and your family.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

Raising hand here -
Agreed to do it out of guilt ONLY - DH is insisting b/c I have asthma and allergies and he has it in his head that if Babk K is breastfed, he will not. -
I'm taking a class hoping it will make me WANT to do it .........but I honestly don't see it happening - I'm trying very hard to be open minded about the whole thing, but the truth is I have zero desire to breastfeed. - I have NO interest whatsoever in nursing and I find those who insist 'you NEED skin to skin contanct to bond w/ you baby" and

Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying those who enjoy nursing and find it to be a wonderful bonding experience are , I'm saying those who insist it's the ONLY way to bond are that way -

I am not at all comfortable with it - and honestly for me, if I didn't have the asthma and allergies I was afraid my son would inherit, I'd tell DH to shove it and feed him formula ........but I will feel guilty if I don't even TRY to do it and my kid ends up w/ all of my issues -

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

First you need to do what makes you and baby the most comfortable - whatever that is. But if you are unsure you have a couple of options.

If you think you will feel guilty for not trying - you could always try for a few days and see if you feel differently. You might immediately realize that it isn't for you - or vice versa.

You could pump - this way you aren't feeding the baby directly but he/she would still benefit if that is a concern for you.

Or you still have time - you could just bottle feed.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

from a BTDT mom, I think if you are on the fence, you should at least give it a try, this way you will not have any regrets

I BF and supplemented from day 1

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

Message edited 1/28/2009 9:33:27 AM.

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Message edited 3/7/2013 2:53:28 PM.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

I am very on the fence...while I initially said no, DH has been very vocal about wanting me to try it so I've agreed to at least give it a shot with the understanding that if I'm not comfortable with it or if its not going well, we would switch to bottles.

We'll see what happens...

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

Please don't feel guilty, like you said this is a very personal decision, only you can make.
IMHO, not even the DH should be making this decision or talk their DW into it (this is a general statement of my personal opinion).
Lots of babies do wonderfully on formula. My brother and I were FF and we turned out fine

You know I've gone back and forth on this subject, but I've decided to TRY BF, if it works, I only plan to do it for 4 months, as I do not think I want to pump when I return to work.

Please don't let this bother you anymore, either way your baby will be healthy, happy and very very loved!!

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

It is a really personal decision that only you can decide. But I would suggest you do your research well before making the decision.

I plan to, and have been reading up lots on it. The literature that I've been given in the hospital is soooooo preachy! It almost puts me off the whole idea. They say it's best for your baby, etc, but they never say why, they just try to guilt you into doing it.

Like I said, do some reasearch, then make your decision.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

You don't have to decide right now. And all the research in the world may still not make the decision for you. You could decide all you want right now and everything could change as soon as you get that baby in your arms and things start to happen...or not happen.

I do not plan to BF. I gave it a half-hearted try with my first and there were latching problems and I fully expect the same thing to happen with #2. So am I prepared to pump and supplement. That is my decision.

However, I know that there is a - and I am open to the possibility of going a different route once the baby gets here.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

Posted by MarisaK

Raising hand here -
Agreed to do it out of guilt ONLY - DH is insisting b/c I have asthma and allergies and he has it in his head that if Babk K is breastfed, he will not. -
I'm taking a class hoping it will make me WANT to do it .........but I honestly don't see it happening - I'm trying very hard to be open minded about the whole thing, but the truth is I have zero desire to breastfeed. - I have NO interest whatsoever in nursing and I find those who insist 'you NEED skin to skin contanct to bond w/ you baby" and

Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying those who enjoy nursing and find it to be a wonderful bonding experience are , I'm saying those who insist it's the ONLY way to bond are that way -

I am not at all comfortable with it - and honestly for me, if I didn't have the asthma and allergies I was afraid my son would inherit, I'd tell DH to shove it and feed him formula ........but I will feel guilty if I don't even TRY to do it and my kid ends up w/ all of my issues -

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

Well I'll tell you what. In order to BF you have to be committed 100%. First of all it is NOT easy!!!! After 2 weeks I'm still struggling very much with it and I've wanted to BF from the get go. Your heart HAS to be in it. It's better to feed your baby lovingly with a bottle than to BF out of guilt. Your baby will sense it trust me.

If you're going to do it, you gotta be happy with your decision. Don't do it out of guilt. How do you feel about pumping? They'll still get the vital nutrients they need from you and it's much easier.
XOXOXO
BOTB

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

OHHHHH P.S- I lost 29 lbs. by BFing!!!
talk about getting your body back quicker than you'd think...lol
I gained almost 50lbs. with my pregnancy so I still have a while to go but WOW! I can't believe how much thing thing makes you loose weight!!!!!
I'm hoping by my 6 week checkup I'll have hopefully lost the other 20 lbs!!!
So if getting back in shape is a concern you know BFing will help you big time!!!
XOXOXO
BOTB

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

i personally am not planning on BF my DC. I have always said its not something i want to do nor even try it.(for my own reasons) Its a very personal decision and you should not be guilted into doing it if your not 100% sure. If your on the fence you may want to give it a shot.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

i just wanted to add my 2 cents about getting your body back quicker by BFing... it's not true for everyone.

BFing actually made me so hungry that i ate everything in sight. i wanted to eat CONSTANTLY. i actually GAINED weight from it! and i also hung onto those last 10 pregnancy pounds while i was nursing. it wasn't until after weaning that i was able to lose all the weight.

Message edited 1/28/2009 12:56:31 PM.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

With DS I supplemented for about a month.
I was hardly getting anything for him. I would pump and pump only to get about 2 or 3oz.
I felt bad for stopping, but, DS was a much happier baby with formula.
With this baby, Im going right to the bottle.

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

Btdt weighing in... I had every good intention of doing it and DS figured it out asap, perfect latch etc. BUT I cannot really tell you how awful it was for me, I was in so much painI cried for WEEKS, had a low supply, and a hungry hippo baby, it was a NIGHTMARE.Got to the point that when he stirred to wake up I would start crying reflexively, I thought I was going to end up in the nut hut.
After 6 weeks of BF and supplementing, I switched to pumping and FF, and THAT was so much work, you are literally sedentary and attached to the pump the whole time, it s*cked. I agree with the above poster, you really have to hang in there if you're set on it, but if you're not you can bottle feed WITH LOVE as well. Open your shirt, and nestle the baby there, look at him and snuggle him; change arms so he gets a switched view just like a BF baby would when you change sides.
I switched to formula and never looked back; DS is 4.5 months now and has NOT HAD 1 single cold/virus/fever, etc. even though he's been exposed to just about everything... DH and I were sick for weeks with that stomach virus, baby sailed right through.
DON'T beat yourself up if you can't/won't BF, those first few weeks are the MOST amazing time don't lose a moment if you can avoid it!!!!

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

I am not planning to BF. I tried it with my DD and she just would not latch. I tried pumping and then 3 days post-partum I developed pre-eclampsia and was put on an arsenal of medications. The lactation nurse tried to convince me that I could still BF on those meds but I preferred to take my chances with formula than the unknown effects of the 5-6 different meds I was on.

In the end I pumped for about 2 weeks but its ironic because while I never suffered from PPD the only time I had overwhelming feelings of sadness was when I was pumping or BFing. It is just not for me. I had no issues bonding with my child and she is incredibly healthy and incredibly attached to me. She has only had 1 ear infection ever, and at 2 yrs old only I handful of serious colds.

Again, if you are on the fence you might as well attempt it but never feel any pressure or guilt to do so.

Oh and FWIW I gained about 45-50 lbs during pregnancy and lost all but 5 by 4 months post-partum

Re: Anyone choosing not to BF

I am going to attempt. If it works I'll be happy if not then