help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

SO's surprise birthday party is coming along.
venue selected and booked.
invites completed.
decorations are coming along.
finally got all the addresses for his friends... all in secret; was harder than i anticipated.

i'm pretty darn happy of where i am in the process at this time of year.

i was discussing this with someone near and dear to my heart and we got to the subject of save-the-dates. should i or should i not send?

argument for:
* party is december 15, smack in the middle of holiday season. would be nice to warn people to plan ahead.

arguments against:
* people never plan ahead.
* might help reduce head-count and save money.
* those who want to be there will make it happen.
* run the risk of having someone spill the beans.

Message edited 2/21/2018 11:53:21 AM.

help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

I wouldn't send a formal STD, but I would let people know the date. It may not make them anymore likely to come or not come, but those that care will hopefully keep the date in the back of their mind.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

I don't see the harm in sending them. So I would since it's around the holidays. People will be busy and it can easily slip their mind. This way they have something on their frig as a reminder.

help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

I've never seen them sent except for a wedding. I'd email or text close family and friends to save the date but not send something formal.

P.S. I opened this with the heading of STD and was expecting to be reading about a different topic...oops.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

I say no for a birthday party. Whoever wants to be there, will make sure they can make it. IME, people prioritize their schedule by how important an event is, not by who invited them first.

It also just gives people more of a chance to spoil the surprise. My father found out about his surprise birthday party because his friends wife hung the invite on their fridge. He normally doesn't go over there, but his friend needed help moving something and there it was on the fridge.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

Posted by SecretlyTTC14

I say no for a birthday party. Whoever wants to be there, will make sure they can make it. IME, people prioritize their schedule by how important an event is, not by who invited them first.

It also just gives people more of a chance to spoil the surprise. My father found out about his surprise birthday party because his friends wife hung the invite on their fridge. He normally doesn't go over there, but his friend needed help moving something and there it was on the fridge.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

I thought this post was about something else, lol.

I wouldn’t send out Save the dates. I think they are stupid for even weddings. I’d just send out the invites early since it’s around the holidays.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

No need. Just send your invitations out a bit early so people can plan since it's holiday time.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

i'm sorry that the subject made you think it was about something else.

i completely agree that it's not a matter of who invites you first. if i have a conflict on my calendar, i'm going with who is more important to me.

i hadn't even thought of a save-the-date... especially, since i'm calling about 80% of the people on the guest list so i can collect their contact information. during the call, i explained what, when, where, why, who... since many have either only met me once or twice or not at all. so, in essence, i've already given them a "heads up, there's a party coming."

because the person i was talking to was adamant about the STD, i actually started to second guess myself and wonder if i was completely missing something.

you all just reminded me to move on ahead and trust my gut.

Message edited 2/21/2018 11:24:22 AM.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

No Save the Date, but I would definitely send the invites out earlier than I normally would because December is such a busy month.

help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

I wouldn't send them, but I would send the invites out a little extra early

help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

I wouldn't send a Save the Date for anything but a wedding, and honestly I don't think they are even needed for that. I would send the Invitations out a little earlier than normal since the Christmas season is busy for most.

help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

I also would not bother with STDs in this situation, but definitely send out the invites a little early. For anyone you feel you would really like to be there, you could just let them know about it, but no need the send out a formal STD.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

We just did a surprise 40th for my BFF. We didn't send formal STD but her DH did send a mass text to everyone letting them know he was planning a party and to hold xx date before hand. Once we finalized everything we sent out the formal invites.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

I would send an email with the Save The Date info. I would also sent the actual invites earlier then usual bc it is a busy time of yr.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

Posted by jellybean78

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by babydreams21


P.S. I opened this with the heading of STD and was expecting to be reading about a different topic...oops.

I thought it was about Short Term Disability, LOL

Better than what I thought it stood for..

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

Nope, I'd just send the invites out a little earlier than you might normally. Maybe 6 weeks instead of 4 weeks in advance.

Re: help settle a silly debate... to STD or not to STD

Oh man, i thought u were getting married!!!