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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

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KateBennetReel
LIF Adolescent

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Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

we had to go back to basics. we changed the kids bedtime routine all together when this would happen. like a refresher course in sleep training. m. we get their most snuggliest stuffie, extra snuggles, extra story, extra lullaby, extra cozy experience in their own bed and gently encourage them to stay put, i'm in the room next door-it's all good-kinda thing. reinforcing the fact that their bed is just the most comfiest. it can take a few days and they'd try to talk me out of it, but i would go back to the same tactics and create that safe-comfiest space. i would also let them know i had to eat broccoli and fold laundry - so boring. sometimes it helped them to know i had sh!t to do.

they relapse, and we just keep at it. eventually they get back in the groove, expect the coziest experience with the coziest person in the world to them in their own little sanctuaries.

hope you guys find your groove soon too so you can get some much needed space & rest.

Posted 2/6/20 5:41 AM
 
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BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

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Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

No, because I learned that lesson when my oldest was little and wanted to lay with me every night! I will mention, I have friends with kids my daughter's age, that still sleep with their parents! (she is 12)

Posted 2/6/20 7:54 AM
 

loveus
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/13

684 total posts

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Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?




Thanks for all the responses! To clarify, I would never turn my sick, sad, or scared child away. But he is asking to come into my room at 9 every night when he goes down to sleep, as a matter of course, and I was wondering what parents do in that situation. I appreciate all the feedback!


My kids never start out in my bed, as you stated that is your time and I also look forward to time with my husband or alone.
Maybe once a month have a sleepover with him where you watch what he likes and he sleeps in your bed.

Posted 2/6/20 8:10 AM
 

Funkybutt
LIF Adult

Member since 4/15

3049 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Nope - never. I tried it once when I was newly separated and he moved around so much that neither of us got much sleep. If he has a nightmare (I have a first floor master) then I'll let him sleep on the couch outside of my bedroom but that rarely happens.

Posted 2/6/20 9:16 AM
 

StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!

Member since 6/10

21534 total posts

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Stacey

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes. We've co-slept since she was born. She never really liked her crib and I couldn't leave her in there, just crying. She is 8 now. We got her a cool new bed with stairs and a play area underneath when she was 6 and she slept it her own room a few times, but she was scared alone.
I dont know if I'm doing damage having her sleep with us, but it is what it is for right now. I figure one day she'll want her privacy and go into her room.

Posted 2/6/20 10:02 AM
 

Straightarrow
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Member since 2/11

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Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Posted by Hopefulmama

Do you let your children come into bed with you? If so, up until what age? I’m a single mother of three young boys, one of whom is disabled and wakes multiple times at night, often up for an hour at least during which I need to supervise him as he can get into trouble. I generally get 5 hours of sleep a night. I also work full time. My sweet 7 year old boy begs to sleep in my bed at night, and while it breaks my heart to say no, I am so bone tired that I just need that half hour to myself to watch Bravo and guzzle a glass of wine so I can sleep until I am inevitably woken up at 2 am, etc. But I’ve been hearing stories lately of all these parents who let their kids stay in their beds until they’re 10 years old and now I feel like I’m being mean for saying no :(. I also feel like as he gets older and needs me less I’ll regret not letting him stay in my bed. Thoughts?



I was a single mom too for a while. My son slept with me (all night, though he always had his own bed and room) from when he was 4ish until he was almost 8 and my bf moved in. I hate sharing my bed really, but it worked for us

It is different when you're the only one there and everything falls on you and you work as well.

Honestly, if it gets you what you need, then do it. Don't let what other people say deter you.

Posted 2/6/20 12:43 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54915 total posts

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..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Posted by Straightarrow

Posted by Hopefulmama

Do you let your children come into bed with you? If so, up until what age? I’m a single mother of three young boys, one of whom is disabled and wakes multiple times at night, often up for an hour at least during which I need to supervise him as he can get into trouble. I generally get 5 hours of sleep a night. I also work full time. My sweet 7 year old boy begs to sleep in my bed at night, and while it breaks my heart to say no, I am so bone tired that I just need that half hour to myself to watch Bravo and guzzle a glass of wine so I can sleep until I am inevitably woken up at 2 am, etc. But I’ve been hearing stories lately of all these parents who let their kids stay in their beds until they’re 10 years old and now I feel like I’m being mean for saying no :(. I also feel like as he gets older and needs me less I’ll regret not letting him stay in my bed. Thoughts?



I was a single mom too for a while. My son slept with me (all night, though he always had his own bed and room) from when he was 4ish until he was almost 8 and my bf moved in. I hate sharing my bed really, but it worked for us

It is different when you're the only one there and everything falls on you and you work as well.

Honestly, if it gets you what you need, then do it. Don't let what other people say deter you.



I tend to agree with this. I thought a lot of things before I had a kid. I said I'd have the baby in her crib from day one.
Yeah right.
She slept in our room in a rock n play until she was 6 months old.
She was up so much during the night that it was just easier to have her right next to me.
I let her have the binky longer than I should have too. Anything to soothe her. Anything to get some sleep.
And when she was going through her recent phase of coming in our room in the middle of the night a lot- there were nights DH was like- let's just bring her in our room now to avoid her coming in and waking us. We all slept better that way.
Whatever helps everyone get the most sleep.
That's my only concern.

Posted 2/6/20 12:59 PM
 

blu6385

Member since 5/08

8351 total posts

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Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

no i do not. its my rule. once in a while i do or in the middle of the night they come and i don't even remember and wake up to them next to me Chat Icon (doest happen often)

I had them sleeping in their own room and my DH ruined that.


They now for most part sleep on the couch Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

DS is scare of everything so he cant sleep alone.

DD just does it cause she thinks its unfair.

we go through periods when they sleep in their own bed.

DH is responsible for bed time so i just let him decide and deal with it!

Posted 2/6/20 4:26 PM
 

Mrs213
????????

Member since 2/09

18986 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes, not as a regular thing on school nights but on weekends we will watch movies and they fall asleep in my bed

Posted 2/7/20 10:33 AM
 

SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult

Member since 12/13

1769 total posts

Name:
B

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yup, I let them. My kids are under 5, but DS recently started having nightmares and wants me to sleep next to him while he goes back to sleep. I see nothing wrong with that. I've read research on co-sleeping. Everything I've read seems to say it's beneficial for kids mental health. Maybe not so much for mine right now lol but I can sacrifice. It's not forever. I'm obviously in the minority here, but I'm a firm believer that you have to do what's right for you and whatever you choose is always the right answer.

Posted 2/7/20 12:37 PM
 

MissJones
I need a nap!

Member since 5/05

22130 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

They start off in their own beds but our 4 year old comes in at some point most nights and ds rarely does. Itt's an inconvenience but they are only small and cuddly for so long.

Posted 2/7/20 9:34 PM
 

ml110
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

5435 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

no... and both of my boys are adopted from Korea, and co-slept with their foster moms over there for the first 2-3 years. i'm mean HAHA I just feel like we all need our space to sleep, its good for all of us. My 6 year old (youngest one) will occasionally wake up at night- but, we comfort him in his room, not bring him into ours. and luckily its usually something small like rubbing his leg for a few minutes (he gets growing pains...) or rubbing his back. then we'll go back to our own bed.

I think something that helps, is a longer bedtime "routine"...if you can swing it between all of the other evening stuff like dinner, homework, packing for the next day. LOL sit on the couch and read together (my boys have to read for 20 minutes a night for homework anyway...) it helps them get their "snuggles" in and relax them, so they are more settled and ready for bed.

Posted 2/8/20 9:07 AM
 

VickiC
Rocking the party

Member since 5/05

4937 total posts

Name:
Vicki

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

No, they don't share our bed. That's something that I am not comfortable with. However, they do come in our room when they wake up and we often snuggle in bed in the morning before we all have to get up and moving for the day. That we all love.

Posted 2/9/20 10:24 AM
 

AngnShaun
Sisters

Member since 1/10

21015 total posts

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Ang

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Posted by MissJones

They start off in their own beds but our 4 year old comes in at some point most nights and ds rarely does. Itt's an inconvenience but they are only small and cuddly for so long.



Same, my 4 year old rarely sleeps through the night in her own bed. Usually around 3/4 she is in mine.

My 7 year old hardly ever.

And my baby always.

Posted 2/9/20 12:05 PM
 

Adri
Joy!

Member since 5/05

3116 total posts

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A

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I did. DS is 14 y/o now and I miss those nights. He started on his bed and later he asked to comet the big bed. In general terms, I think you should do whatever is best for you. I loved sleeping with DS and never had a problem with it. I felt it wasn't going to be forever, so why not.

Posted 2/9/20 12:38 PM
 

BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre

Member since 5/05

9320 total posts

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Mrs. B

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I am in the minority - both our children have been sleeping in our bed since they were born. DS is now 9 and has started to sleep in his own bed and to be honest, it killed me. DD is still in bed with us. We don't mind at all. We love it and it works for us. DS still comes in once in awhile and its no big deal. I will take whatever snuggling and closeness they want to get and give. It's our time to talk about our days, anything that we are thinking about or whatever. To each their own.

Posted 2/10/20 1:26 PM
 

mrsrainbow
LIF Adult

Member since 1/17

1465 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I do. I love it. Oh well lol

Posted 2/12/20 1:55 PM
 

angelicd77
LIF Adolescent

Member since 12/13

794 total posts

Name:
Kim

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I co-sleep with my 9MO nightly. Just last night my 3YO had a nightmare and asked to sleep with me as well. DH and I sleep separately because he is too paranoid and afraid hes going to roll over on the baby Chat Icon I say they wont be little forever and if it works for you, go with it. Most nights my 3YO wont wake up at all, and I co-slept with him his first 18 months. It doesn't last forever. Enjoy the snuggles!

Posted 2/12/20 4:17 PM
 

olive98
LIF Adolescent

Member since 11/12

791 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes since around 15 months old we co-sleep. We have a huge bed. I'm going to cry the day we no longer co-sleep.

Posted 2/17/20 10:46 PM
 

drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!

Member since 6/07

8274 total posts

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me

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

No they never ask or try to come into our bed. If they did then maybe we would. As babies they all did occasionally but mostly slept in their cribs and now their beds.

Posted 2/18/20 10:05 PM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

4429 total posts

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Karen

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

When my oldest was little she always came into our bed. We ended up buying a King bed because she took up so much room and as soon as we had it in the house, she never asked again lol. Our youngest, (little different circumstance because she was adopted at 9) sleeps in our room every night. I have a cot next to the bed for her. She needs the comfort and security at night so I would never say no.

Posted 2/18/20 10:53 PM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13102 total posts

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Mommy

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Posted by BriBri2u

I am in the minority - both our children have been sleeping in our bed since they were born. DS is now 9 and has started to sleep in his own bed and to be honest, it killed me. DD is still in bed with us. We don't mind at all. We love it and it works for us. DS still comes in once in awhile and its no big deal. I will take whatever snuggling and closeness they want to get and give. It's our time to talk about our days, anything that we are thinking about or whatever. To each their own.



Same. My oldest pretty much slept with us until she was 8. My little one who is 3 now climbs into our bed a few times a week. I never turn them away. I love cuddling with them and eventually too soon they will be grown and want no part of cuddling with mom and dad so I'm soaking it up all now.

Posted 2/19/20 11:05 AM
 

MissJones
I need a nap!

Member since 5/05

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Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Posted by jellybean78

Posted by BriBri2u

I am in the minority - both our children have been sleeping in our bed since they were born. DS is now 9 and has started to sleep in his own bed and to be honest, it killed me. DD is still in bed with us. We don't mind at all. We love it and it works for us. DS still comes in once in awhile and its no big deal. I will take whatever snuggling and closeness they want to get and give. It's our time to talk about our days, anything that we are thinking about or whatever. To each their own.



Same. My oldest pretty much slept with us until she was 8. My little one who is 3 now climbs into our bed a few times a week. I never turn them away. I love cuddling with them and eventually too soon they will be grown and want no part of cuddling with mom and dad so I'm soaking it up all now.



It's hard but I always think of that quote...the nights are long but the years are short. My little boy is no longer little but he still needs his mama.

Message edited 2/20/2020 4:59:40 PM.

Posted 2/20/20 4:59 PM
 

MerryChristmas
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Member since 2/16

513 total posts

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Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Posted by BriBri2u

I am in the minority - both our children have been sleeping in our bed since they were born. DS is now 9 and has started to sleep in his own bed and to be honest, it killed me. DD is still in bed with us. We don't mind at all. We love it and it works for us. DS still comes in once in awhile and its no big deal. I will take whatever snuggling and closeness they want to get and give. It's our time to talk about our days, anything that we are thinking about or whatever. To each their own.



Not judging, just honestly curious, how do you and your husband enjoy "alone time" at night?Chat Icon

No, my kids have never been allowed in my bed. If they have a bad dream or aren't feeling well one of us will lay with them in their bed until we can sneak out and get back to our bed but that happened very rarely.

Posted 3/1/20 6:43 PM
 

drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!

Member since 6/07

8274 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Posted by MerryChristmas

Not judging, just honestly curious, how do you and your husband enjoy "alone time" at night?Chat Icon



This is what I was wondering as well when reading the responses of those who sleep with the kids in your bed each night. Honestly just wondering when you get a chance if the kids are always there.

Posted 3/3/20 8:05 PM
 
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