Upset and confused

Hi ladies,
I hope this post doesn't anger anyone, bc I know all babies are gifts and that I should be so grateful to be pregnant, and I am, but I've just been a little more upset about it than I expected. I don't think it's so much upset as like "holy shit you're pregnant and your life as you know it is over." I have anxiety about all the change ( also in the process of trying to buy a house which may mean a shift in jobs) and I have anxiety that I'm not ready. I was crying this AM due to my anxiety - kind of hoping its hormones that will calm down. No one even knows yet which I think is adding to my anxiety (except dh obviously). What I want to know is did anyone else experience this? If so, does it last or how did you deal with it? Thanks so much

Upset and confused

I was laid off and then found out I was pregnant. I was a mess and kept insisting that we were going to have to live in our jeep. But as time went on everything fell into place. It sounds like you have a lot of change happening at once. Give yourself time. I also was seeing a therapist at the time and talking about the anxiety helped. Congratulations!

Upset and confused

I don't think that is terrible. Having a baby is a big change and a lot of women experience anxiety at some point during their pregnancy. DH and I have been in our house for a while and honestly I give a lot of credit to people who are in the middle of that process while they're expecting!

And even though DH and I are over the moon that our LO will be here in a few days there were days where I had moment I would just think to myself "HOLY SH*T, I'm going to be a MOTHER" and just question if I was ready, if I am going to be a good mother, am I going to know what to do??? This is a huge unknown and things are going to change and there will be challenges along the way but in the end it's going to be one of the most rewarding things we ever do (or so I'm told ). Hang in there. I think what you're experiencing is normal and you can only take it one day at a time!!

Re: Upset and confused

I've been feeling anxious all week worrying about what sort of mother I will be. I have also been worrying about DH because he said something to me yesterday that made my heart break. He said something like he is afraid that I will love the baby more than him. I cry everytme I think of him saying that. We are so excited to be parents, but I don't want our marriage to change and I know that is inevitable!

Re: Upset and confused

I think it's normal, this is my 2nd pregnancy, my hormones are kinda crazy, finishing grad school and having moved (sold and bought house recently) and going to sahm role for a short time is a lot of change in a short time. It's causing me anxiety too but I am keeping myself busy, taking time for myself, doing whatever to relax and take it easy. Try doing exercise (even walking or prenatal yoga) to help with the stress (or whatever you like). You'll be ok, hang in there!

Re: Upset and confused

I felt exactly as you described when I first found out I was pregnant. For a few weeks I think I was in denial. I was so nervous about it I'd even be worrying about it in my sleep. Pretty major panic & I had negative thoughts such as wishing I didn't have to go through with it, and that made me feel very guilty.
Once I saw the baby on a sonogram & the heartbeat & it occurred to me that this is an actual person, I couldn't really feel regret about it anymore. It made me pretty excited to have such a huge role in bringing a new life into the world. Over time I've just started to realize that this is a great gift, that we're very lucky, accepting that it's part of the plan for our life & the baby's life of course, and I've started focusing on the positive. I still feel anxious about it, but overall good feelings now. It took time to get there though.

Re: Upset and confused

Re: Upset and confused

Thanks ladies your responses helped! It's good to know I'm not the only one feeling this kind of anxiety!! Hopefully in time I will feel better and better!

Re: Upset and confused

I am on pregnancy #2 and there are definitely days when I say to myself, "What did I do?" It is hectic with one, I can't imagine how I will do it with two. But I know other people make it work and I see how happy my son makes me, and then it just makes me excited all over again! I think it is completely natural to have mixed feelings. This is a big change for you! When you see the baby on the sonogram, your whole outlook will change though.

Re: Upset and confused

I deal with anxiety normally so there have been says since my BFP (I'm 11wks today) where I've freaked out and had a few anxiety attacks. My thought are all over the place at times but I think I've finally come to terms with everything that's going on.
My suggestion, don't read further then your current week on baby websites. I read all the way up to week 32, I freaked out, then had an anxiety attack the next am when I woke up. Only get information on a need-to-know basis and realize that much of what your feeling is oming from hormones and it is normal.
Everyone talks about all the great things that come along with being pregnant while keeping quiet about many of the challenges (physically and mentally) that come along with it.

I just keep telling myself that everything I'm feeling is normal, women have been doing this forever and choose to have more then 1 child, and to take everything day to day.

HtH

Re: Upset and confused

I know how you feel. I'm definitely having moments when I question the choice we made to have a baby. I'm still in school trying to get a teaching job. Now with the baby on the way in September it doesn't look like a job for next year is going to happen. I'm just nervous about not being able to provide for my LO. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way because a baby is a blessing but I just wanted to be more prepared.

I just have to remember that there never is a perfect time and everything will work out. We'll get through this

Upset and confused

It's totally normal to feel that way. It hasn't even sunk into me yet that I'm pregnant and will be a mother in less than 8 months. We are also in the process of buying a house, and I think once we're closed, the baby thing will hit me. Hang in there, it's totally normal.

Re: Upset and confused

Thanks again everyone. The more times I hear its normal the better I feel

Re: Upset and confused

DH and I decided to go for another 6 years after I had DD. Even though we wanted this, I had severe anxiety for the first 8-10 weeks. DH and I were fighting, stress about finances, time, you name it, I was worried about it. Now at 20 weeks, I am so friggin excited and all that went away. Its never easy but it will all work out.

Re: Upset and confused

DH and I tried for 12 months and then decided to wait awhile because of both stress and finances. Then month 13......bam! BFP! I sat there on the toilet staring at the two lines and hysterically cried! How were we going to do this?

I told DH by crying and saying sorry! My anxiety and fear completely ruined the moment for us. DH talked me down from the cliff that night and erased the big fears....but I still worry daily if I'll be a good mother, if I'll be able to afford it all, will my marriage fall apart due to financial stress? It's an ongoing struggle, but we are both so excited to be parents and will just need to work together to make it work...

So, in short it's normal to worry.....hang in there!!

Re: Upset and confused

Its normal to have these feelings. You will go through a whole bunch of worries. Then the baby comes and for a little but the worries fade and then they come back. Being a parent = worries. Its totally normal.

I just try to remember that things work themselves out. Yes your life will change but you wont wont that old life back. You will still be able to go out sometimes (get a sitter) and you will be able to have a drink and it will be ok.

Buying a house is a huge stressful experience but a great investment. Its a huge amount of money. If you weren't stressed out then I would like there was an issue.

Hang in there when your LO is here and you are in your home with your new family you will look back and think you were crazy for stressing so much!

Re: Upset and confused

THANK YOU ALL!! I am feeling so much better almost a week later. DH as been great and I've been getting excited looking at Etsy and other cute baby sites!!

Re: Upset and confused

Posted by gdubs

I don't think that is terrible. Having a baby is a big change and a lot of women experience anxiety at some point during their pregnancy. DH and I have been in our house for a while and honestly I give a lot of credit to people who are in the middle of that process while they're expecting!

And even though DH and I are over the moon that our LO will be here in a few days there were days where I had moment I would just think to myself "HOLY SH*T, I'm going to be a MOTHER" and just question if I was ready, if I am going to be a good mother, am I going to know what to do??? This is a huge unknown and things are going to change and there will be challenges along the way but in the end it's going to be one of the most rewarding things we ever do (or so I'm told ). Hang in there. I think what you're experiencing is normal and you can only take it one day at a time!!