Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

My daughter is only 8 months old so I still don't know what to expect but my niece will be 4 in a few months and my SIL and BIL still feed her most of her meals. Meaning, physically feed her. I thought that by that age she should be able to feed herself If it is something super easy they will let her do it but anything that requires utensils, they do it for her. I guess I am asking b/c I just hope that I wont have to feed my DD at 4, lol.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

My DD is 2.5 and she feeds herself. She eats everything on her own using a spoon or a fork with no issues.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

I would say that isn't normal. By 18-24 months both my kids were eating unassisted with utensils.

I am surprised at 4 she doesn't protest and want to do it herself.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

Most 4 years olds feed themselves, but maybe the parents get her to eat better when they feed her.

The way I look at it until you are in their situation you may not know why they are feeding her.

Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

I am happy to know that DD will be self feeding sooner than that... hopefully, lol. It's more her father, he spoils her rotten and does everything for her. Not doing her any favors, IMO.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

My dd just turned four. She eats by herself...but there are times where she can be distracted by something and i ill feed her some bites just to ensure she gets something into her. That is the only time i will do that...or if she has something really nice on and she wants something messy like yogurt then i will "help" her

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

She should be feeding herself at age 4. Pre-K and Kindergarten is pretty much all about learning independency!

ETA: I have worked in day care for years and the toddlers all self feed!

My own kids as well were self feeding by at least age 2.

Message edited 1/20/2013 9:42:24 PM.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

Message edited 1/20/2013 9:56:06 PM.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

I saw a friend of mine feeding her 8 or 9 year old his dinner as he was playing a game. And said if she didn't he wouldn't eat.

I was like WOW....

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

my son will be 3 in may.

he is a LAZY eater. he can 100% feed himself and usually does but if we have been at the table forever (like 30+ minutes) I will take the fork and feed him just to end everyone's misery. But, this is not typical. And he is the worst eater on the planet.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

My DS is 2 and feeds himself 90% of the time. If he's refusing to do it himself, I will feed him just to get something in his belly.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

Not normal........at least in my experience. My DD is 4 and has been feeding herself with fingers and/or utensils since she was probably a little over a year old. Granted, she needed some help back then but it was not long before she was feeding herself all of her meals.......she didn't need help from me. NO way I would be feeding a 4 year old, that seems a little nuts to me.

ETA - spelling

Message edited 1/20/2013 10:23:28 PM.

Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

i'm jealous of those of you who have kids who feed themselves. My yo ds has to be feed to eat unless he is starving (which i dont' allow often) . He is a poor eater and I know I won't be going to high school with to feed him so I continue to do it.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

I cut my 3 year old DDs food into bite sized pieces for her, but she feeds herself with either a fork or spoon as appropriate. My 5 year old DS feeds himself and has started to use a regular knife. I will still help him with steak and other tougher things, but he can cut his food up. He would rather I cut his food still. He feeds himself with a fork or spoon as appropriate too. I will say that my kids can be picky/tough eaters too, but I still make them put the food on their silverware themselves. It is usually a negotiation to get them to eat their veggies.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

Not normal unless there is a REAL reason for it. Like they have issues eating or they are underweight.. There is no reason for a 4 year old with no problems to not be able to eat with a fork. My son was eating with a fork around 18 months old. Wasn't the best at it, but he could do it... He has feeding issues and stopped eating with a fork for about a year. He now uses it for everything at 3... There is no excuse for an older child with NO problems to be fed.. Helping them is another story... But to actually feed them is not normal. JMO

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

I am a very hands on and attached mom...and yet, my DD was feeding herself from about 2 on. With utensils and all. My DD is 4 now and has been feeding herself forever. I won't even feed her one bite of anything. Sure I cut up her food, but she also can cut some things herself too. I am also very big on using utensils, NOT her fingers.

That's very odd to be honest....does she have any issues that might be the reason?

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

I never helped my kids eat. Ever. They are able to feed themselves from the moment they are physically ready for solids. Mine all used spoons before a year and forks by 12-13 months with no problem. So to me, this isn't normal. Sounds like they are holding her back

Message edited 1/21/2013 1:42:27 AM.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

My 22 month old feeds himself. My older DS was definitely a little later but by 2 1/2-3 at the very latest, he was completely independent

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

DS is 4 and has been feeding himself for a long time. HOWEVER, there are times during the daily dinner struggle that the only way he will eat something is if we feed him. It's him being stubborn and probably trying to imitate his baby sister. DD at 16 months pretty much feeds herself!

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

All 3 of my kids ate by themselves with utensils between 15-18 months. Now, with that said at that age (4), if we were out at a party or they were with there cousins, all the parents would feed the kids because they were just so distracted and they wouldn't eat as well.
There were also times that I fed them at home because they were giving me a hard time.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

Thinking about it, while DS is capable of feeding himself, if I want him to eat something other than junk food while distracted (salmon at a dinner when he sees bread at the table), I bribe him AND put the salmon in a fork and into his mouth at times. I see plenty of people doing this... I bet it can be seen as "feeding".

Having two kids who gasp! Aren't perfect, I've learned not to judge. There will be stuff you will be doing that you swore you wouldn't.

Re: Is this normal for a child that is almost 4?

My DS mostly eats by himself at 3. However, for dinner he needs A LOT of encouragment. His other 2 meals are bigger.

So I do wind up holding the fork a few times. Not the whole meal though.