Would this irritate you?

And if so would you say something?

I've posted about my babysitter before. How she is constantly buying them things, it started with her buying crafts so I bought a huge bin of crafts so she didn't have to buy them. Then it moved to toys and donuts. I'm not crazy about the donuts Every week but whatever I let it go. She loves to give but always looks for validation and praise for doing it, which irritates me sometimes but again whatever.

Anyway....yesterday she tells my DD that she wi buy her an elsa hat if she stops sucking her thumb. Today she brings the elsa hat. She shows me it in the am (dd was still sleeping) and says she's going to give it to her. I say if you told her she has to stop sucking her thumb I would like you to wait and follow through with what you said. ( my Dd can be very difficult and I have worked very hard setting limits and expectations and it is working) she says your the mom so ok.

I get home today and the hat is hanging on a hook in our kitchen and dd immediately asks me if she can have it. I say what did Ellen tell you yesterday? My dd says Ellen said i could ask you to have it when you get home. I said no that you have to stop sucking your thumb for 5 days then you can have it. Of course she through a fit !
I'm furious with my sitter! She didn't listen to me and ds was so upset and I feel like it could have totally been avoided if she didn't givenit to her like I asked!
Would you be annoyed?
Would you say something ?

Re: Would this irritate you?

Yes! I would be pissed. I probably wouldn't start a fight about though. I'd probably say something like I thought we were gonna wait to give dd the hat until she stopped sucking her thumb. She gave me a hard time when I wouldn't let her have it.

Would this irritate you?

I would absolutely be pissed and I def would say something.

Re: Would this irritate you?

YES!!!
I think you should say something. She is working for you & needs to do what you say.
My mother watches my ds & does this kind of sh!t all the time.
But from a babysitter that you're paying?? I would ABSOLUTELY let them know it's not ok to ignore your instructions!!!

Would this irritate you?

I would say something. Maybe she is looking for a way to reward your DD. Could you possibly offer her options that you buy?

Would this irritate you?

Yes, your wishes were deliberately disobeyed and ignored. I'd be livid. And I would say something.

Re: Would this irritate you?

not only did she go against your request, she made you the bad guy! i'd be pissed and it's worth a discussion.

Re: Would this irritate you?

She is undermining you as a mom and making you the bad guy to your own child. I would look for a new sitter and fire this woman.

Would this irritate you?

Yes, I'd be annoyed (more like pissed) and I'd definitely say something.

Would this irritate you?

Has she forgotten she is your employee? I'd be very pissed.

Re: Would this irritate you?

This is like something a grandmother would do and I'd still be pissed about !! But a sitter? Hells no! I'd tell her that if she is going to help in getting DD to do things, she needs to follow through just as you would and don't deflect to you. Just like 2 parents you all need to be on the same page. Not, "go ask mommy".

Would this irritate you?

I would be annoyed and I would tell her. You pay her, you make the rules. She follows them, or finds new employment.

Re: Would this irritate you?

Would this irritate you?

Yes.. Id be mad.
My aunt did this sort of at first.. and she learned it only upsets AJ and so she quickly stopped it.

Re: Would this irritate you?

This is going to be very long & maybe different from the other comments. Maybe I'm personalizing your post.

It is irritating....
BUT it's not a horrible offense.

My babysitter brings my kids presents all the time.
She honestly goes shopping or through her attic & thinks of them. I tell her that as long as she's not heartbroken when toys are broken or missing parts, it's all good. She's bought every hat & gloves my children have except for one (an elsa hat I got for DD). She's bought them costumes, art stuff, coloring books, play dough, etc.

Your babysitter probably saw it on sale (tis the season) and thought it was super cute & thought about your DD.

I get the fact that she made you the "bad guy," tell her that hurts you & that it would be nice if it were a reward, you both would be on the same page (maybe the same time) about introducing it & enforcing what happens if it doesn't work (IMO, my kid could not stop biting his nails no matter what prize I laid before him, so the hat would be a tease for him). She could tell them in the afternoon when you are home: "look at what I have for you if you don't suck your thumb for 5 days... your mama & and I will BOTH watch you." Just be open & tell her that you would have liked to handle it this way!

NOW, the donuts, I'd go nuts over. My pet peeve is when my babysitter brings muffins & cakes for my kids as a treat & they don't eat dinner (we go out of our way to prepare or buy healthy food that is $$$, often organic, for breakfast, lunch & dinner). We are also big into no junk food. It took a while (and addressing it quite a few times in a few different ways), but now we are on the same page (she may think we are crazy, but respects that one request). That being said, we LOVE our babysitter & she is great with the kids. Everyone asks us "where did you FIND her?". She's perfect otherwise.

Small things can be annoying, but if these are her worst offenses, she actually sounds like a pretty good babysitter! I just don't want you to act emotionally & lose a good person. Wait at least 2 days before you make a decision to cool off the emotional aspect of it.

Re: Would this irritate you?

How long has she been with you? She seems like she thinks she is family, not a paid sitter. Of course it's nice to have someone that close that cares so much, but then the lines get blurred, Kwim? And yes I'd be annoyed at the Elsa hat thing. My mom would do something like that and I'd say something to her.

Re: Would this irritate you?

Your child, your house. You're the boss.

I would absolutely say something and let your sitter know that she has to follow your rules. Period. If she doesn't listen to you, then maybe she's not a good match for your family. How can you trust that she's following everything else you tell her while you're away?

Would this irritate you?

I would absolutely say something. It's not so much that she bought something for your DD. It's the fact that she told your DD she would get her one when she stops sucking her thumb. But to give her the hat without following through only teaches her that she can get whatever she wants from the babysitter and she doesn't have to follow the rules. My daughter is very difficult and I know if this was my DD she would them walk all over the babysitter and try to get what she wants without following the rules. If you don't follow rules, you don't get it. Period. It's great that your sitter loves your kids, but she needs to know there are boundaries.

Re: Would this irritate you?

Re: Would this irritate you?

Thanks everyone she actually text me this am asking if I was mad. I just told her how important it is that if we say something to the kids that we follow through. I also told her I don't even think dd is fully ready to stop sucking her thumb either so I would have rather waited to say something like that to her.

I think she really felt bad!

Next week I'm saying no more donuts every week

Re: Would this irritate you?

Yes I would totally be irritated and speak to the sitter. Under no circumstances should she undermine you as mom!

Re: Would this irritate you?

Posted by allIwant

Thanks everyone she actually text me this am asking if I was mad. I just told her how important it is that if we say something to the kids that we follow through. I also told her I don't even think dd is fully ready to stop sucking her thumb either so I would have rather waited to say something like that to her.

I think she really felt bad!

Next week I'm saying no more donuts every week