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petvet
LIF Adult
Member since 5/08 1238 total posts
Name:
Meredith
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
Don't forget about your own mental health as it sounds like you are under so much stress! Hoping that your husband consents to the surgery and wishing for a miracle for you! Try not to give up hope you never know what the future has in store....
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Posted 1/3/10 9:27 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I can only imagine how frustrating this is. Is your DH in treatment now while you await the approval for DBS? He should get aggressive treatment now while you wait. Since he was approved for disability, he probably has MCD now. Look into him attending a partial hospitalization program. if anything, maybe it will get him well enough to approve the surgery. No one will do it if he doesn't consent. My hospital is looking into doing DBS and the results are promising.
You should make time for yourself to go to a support group, I know its hard when you have so little time, but the rewards will be great. Also, there are many clinics that have low fees if you want to get into treatment for yourself.
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| Posted 1/3/10 9:29 AM |
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hannahsmom
Yummy yummy cookie...
Member since 10/08 2005 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I live in Selden now, and am moving to Coram on 2/1, so if you ever need a sitter, I can help. FM me!!
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| Posted 1/3/10 9:45 AM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you are able to take up the babysitting offers of the wonderful ladies here. My prayers are with you. 
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| Posted 1/3/10 9:50 AM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I am so sorry. I know you are in Suffolk County and they are in the process of reopening applications for 150 spots for paid/ or by income paid daycare. I would call and find out about it. If you can't get the number FM and I will get it for you.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I have a daughter the same age as Jacob if you ever want them to get together to play so you can get out a little let me know.
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| Posted 1/3/10 9:52 AM |
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CheeChee
HI THERE!!!!
Member since 5/05 3416 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
Thank you all for your responses! In this fragilie state i'm in, all I can say is that reading what all you wrote just made me cryyyy... 
Happens quite easily these days.. just to answer a few questions, DH cannot be left alone with Jacob. Its not safe for Jacob. DH is so caught up in rituals, he pays no attention to Jacob and if he does, he yells at him because Jacob is trying to get attention from DH and DH is so consumed by his OCD, that he finds Jacob annoying. Sad i know..
DH is also on a treatment plan while awaiting approval for surgery. He's been on one for years now. 15 Psychiatrist and psychologists later, hes been on every drug there is, and none have helped in the slightest. He does get disability, but not Medicaid. they said he is not elegible, because my income is too high to qualify. His parents pay for his health insurance. I tried to get him into an outpatient behavioral health program but I only found one and its only for 11 days. One thing ive learned since this happened is that the mental health portion of healthcare is a disgrace.. especially in this state. Most places wont take him because he is not "suicidal" or "homicidal".. doesnt matter that he has no quality of life, lost like 40 lbs.. barely showers, eats.. etc.. they dont care. Its like I keep running into dead end after dead end. It sux..
Again, thank you ALLLL so much for your thoughts and prayers and the few of you who FM'd me about babysitting i will be contacting.. you are saving my life in a way that you could never imagine!! love u all!! xoxoxoxoxoxo
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| Posted 1/3/10 9:57 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I'm glad to see you posting again I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
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| Posted 1/3/10 9:58 AM |
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juanvi
Get Out!
Member since 10/06 4463 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
oh u poor thing. I for u!!!!!!!
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| Posted 1/3/10 9:59 AM |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I am so sorry. It must be so difficult for you.
FIL also had something similar. He was deeply, deeply depressed. He became an alcoholic. He would just pace the floor for hours and hours on end, all through the night. No medications worked. DH refused electric shock therapy for him. MIL sent him to Massachussets to live with family because she had three kids to take care of.
It took a long time, but eventually something snapped and he was back to normal. Has been sober for years now, happy, etc. This was probably about 15 years ago.
I will pray for a miracle for your family.
Message edited 1/3/2010 10:02:23 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/10 10:01 AM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/3/10 10:12 AM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I'm so sorry The effects of mental illness of those who suffer and their families should never be underestimated. My heart truly goes out to you. I'm in NJ so I can't offer babysitting but please let us know what else you need. I'm sure we can all arrange some help for you whether it be money, gift cards, whatever...just to alleviate some of the stress even just slightly. Please just let us know!
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| Posted 1/3/10 10:32 AM |
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Julianna07
LIF Infant
Member since 8/08 269 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
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| Posted 1/3/10 10:38 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I don't know the original story- but from reading this- I can grasp a bit.
I'm so sorry you're going through this...You should make therapy for yourself a priority. Maybe the support group leader can help you find someone to watch Jacob?
Best of luck and many prayers!
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| Posted 1/3/10 10:40 AM |
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Ladybug3
Two is better than one!!!
Member since 12/07 4474 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
!!!
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| Posted 1/3/10 10:40 AM |
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autumn
Mommy to 2 divas
Member since 9/07 3389 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/3/10 10:41 AM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I'm so sorry you're going through all this. I worked for many years in a mental health facility and I know how draining it can be on the families. I live in South Setauket and can help you out with babysitting sometimes if you need. I'm usually home at those times. The only days I know I can't do it are Thurs, Fri and Sat since I work those nights, but the other 4 evenings I should be free. I hope I can help you.
ETA: I know with some of the AlAnon meetings, you can bring kids and they have a separate room for them to hang out; maybe a support group for you has something similar?
Message edited 1/3/2010 10:54:22 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/10 10:47 AM |
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sweetD10
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/09 374 total posts
Name:
SweetD10
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/3/10 10:49 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am in NC so can't help with any babysitting or anything but may be able to help you on the job front. My Dad knows a LOT of people in LI. What do you do? FM if you prefer.
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| Posted 1/3/10 10:56 AM |
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MommaG
Yay Spring!
Member since 5/05 5133 total posts
Name:
Gloria
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
You're doing a great job handling this situation, and you are being a wonderful mother and wife. I live too far to help with babysitting, but if there is anything else you need please ask. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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| Posted 1/3/10 11:00 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/3/10 11:21 AM |
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JavaJunkie
Someday, Somehow
Member since 6/05 5857 total posts
Name:
Lois
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/3/10 12:07 PM |
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Dani922
Here's to new beginnings
Member since 10/07 7260 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/3/10 12:11 PM |
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sweetie101
you make me smile :o)
Member since 5/08 4419 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/3/10 12:49 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
could you use any meals cooked for you? I cannot organize it b/c of the babies but I can cook , if it would help you, we could figure out something? You need to have your life made a little bit if not a lot easier right now!
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| Posted 1/3/10 1:11 PM |
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CheeChee
HI THERE!!!!
Member since 5/05 3416 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
Posted by justthe4ofus
I am so sorry. I know you are in Suffolk County and they are in the process of reopening applications for 150 spots for paid/ or by income paid daycare. I would call and find out about it. If you can't get the number FM and I will get it for you.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I have a daughter the same age as Jacob if you ever want them to get together to play so you can get out a little let me know.
thank you for the info on the daycare.. by the grace of God, i was able to get Jacob into the community headstart program here in Port Jefferson, and he goes M-F 8:30-3:30 and its no charge for me based on my income and of course DH's mental issues. So thankfully, that is one less issue for me.
I have a friend that picks him up @ 3:30 and keeps him at her house until I get off from work. Thats the other thing, I feel soooo bad with the shleping i have to do with Jacob, from one person, to another, to another.. but I know kids are resilient. Thanfully also, the Port Jeff school district's cutoff date is Dec 31st for kindergarten, so DS just makes it for next year. So he will be going to full day kindergarten in sept, otherwise I would be screwed, cuz the headstart program cuts off at 4 and they wouldnt have been able to accept him next sept. Then id hafta come up with Full time daycare money. So i guess, God blessed me with moving to the right town with a late cut off date!! 
Thank you again for the info.. i am truly truly overwhelmed with the kindess of all your well wishes and offers to help.. God also blessed me with leading me to this site where all you angels were waiting to help me!
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| Posted 1/3/10 1:34 PM |
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