***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****

Hello Ladies, i want to wish everyone a happy new year, hope your holidays were great!!

Just wanted to give an update to you all on DH since you were all so gracious with ur thoughts and prayers for me him and Jacob.

He went to Boston back in sept for 3 months and he returned unchanged.. Nothing helped, they did Electric Shock Therapy on him for about a month and that did not help lift the depression that he is suffering from as well as the OCD.

The last resort now is a surgical procedure called Deep Brain Stimulation which has been used for years for Parkinsons' patients to relieve tremors. It was just recently approved this past summer for patients with severe OCD. The FDA approved it, based on clinical trials which showed that 65% of patients who suffered from treatment resistant OCD improved with the procedure. Basically they drill 2 holes into the skull and implant electrodes into the part of the brain that is known to be responsible for OCD. Then the wires are threaded under the skin and 2 stimulators (which are like pacemaker devices) are implanted into both sides of the chest, and send electrical impulses to the brain. This is really his last resort, and unfortunately there is a chance that even this wont work.
The surgery will be performed at North Shore, i already had a Neuro Surgical consult and they feel he is a perfect candidate. Of course, its going to take a few months to get all the approvals that are needed and then there's the insurance, hoping they will cover it.
Only problem is that DH doesnt want it.. saying he wont do it.. which is truly infuriating me, because he really has no other choice. He has zero quality of life. Since hes home, he hasnt left the house, other than me taking him to dr's and his parents house. He sleeps all day from depression and the fact he is up till 4 am doing rituals. Ive tried to find him a local job at a food store or volunteer at local hospitals but no luck. Just something to get him out of the house. He cant drive, I would have to drive him, but i would manage.
Needless to say, the holidays werent so merry, nor was Jacobs 4th bday on dec 28th (mine too) but i tried to make them the best for Jacob considering.
Jacob is affected by all this.. told me today he wanted a "new daddy"...

I'm frustrated.. angry, sad, u name it, i feel it. I dont really know how much more i can take.. and yet feel terrible in thinking that at some point i may need to move on. Only good thing that occurred was that the NYS approved his disability benefits and i got my first check in Nov. Not much, but enuf to stay afloat. Still in process of claiming bankruptcy. Im still trying to find a full time job at one office/hospital with benefits instead of 3 per diem jobs, but still no luck there.
Wanted to ask you ladies if anyone knows of a babysitter that I could use on a part time/as needed basis? I'm living in Port Jefferson now and one of my jobs that i work is per diem in evenings. Usually just one nite a week. Hours vary, like 6:30 to 8:30 or 7 to 9.. and of course i cant leave Jacob with DH. He cant be trusted with him and so Jacob ALWASY has to be with me even if its to run to store for milk. Ive been asking friends to wach Jacob for me when i work, but i'm really starting to feel bad.. one friend is PG and she's tired and i feel like a burden. Also sometimes i want to run errands without dragging Jake along and I NEVER CAN.. AND ITS MADDENING! Looking for someone I could pay for the few hours i may need. If anyone knows of someone in my area, id greatly appreciate the reference!

Thank you for letting me vent, sometimes i want to just SCREAM like Sally Field did in the movie "steel magnolia's" (in the cemetery when her daughter died) I want to scream, and scream... my husband is gone, possibly never to return. I feel as tho i need to mourn my marriage that is basically not existant anymore. How did this happen????
I kno i should prob be in counseling, but i dont have health insur.. and alto there is a support group in my area, i cant attend, cuz i have no one to watch Jacob.. ughh.. i'm sorry this was so long.. if your still listening.. thank you.. and if not, i dont blame u!

I'm just gonna hang in there.. and see what transpires with the surgery.. thank you all again for your hugs and prayers!! I will keep you posted...

Message edited 1/16/2010 9:22:52 PM.

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

I'll keep your family in my prayers.

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Just wanted to send you lot of hugs.

I know that a lot of towns and hospitals have mental health centers where people can go for counseling - cost is on a sliding scale.

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

I can babysit. FM me. I'm in Holbrook, but from Miller Place, so I know the area and would bring my DS up too

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Is your husband unable to be alone with your child? I was just wondering if he is home on disability, why you can't get out to a support group. Have you looked into the links between OCD and Tourette Syndrome? I read a lot of medical literature for my work and maybe there is a treatment connection there.

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Noreen I am sorry you are going through this and wish I could help (it's Seles81, I changed my name ).

Many 's

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

You have so much on your plate. I hope things get better soon and you find a way to get to the support group.

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers!!!

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

I'm in Lake Ronkonkoma, I know it's not that close to you. But if you're ever in a jam I'm available those hours to babysit.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Im so sorry you're going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Not that this would make you feel any better, but DH's father suffered from just about the same thing, for years he was hopsitalized in psychiatric places, he had shock therapy, meds, everything you name it, he had it. It drove him to drink and do drugs like crazy, 25 years later he still suffers from the depressioin and is on disability but is sober for a LONG time.
But I have heard about that brain stimulation recently and the positive feedback has shown improvement on patients.
I pray your marriage will get better in the future, but if it doesnt, you are being a great mother and wife, doing everything you can to protect and take care of your family! Dont give up, hang in there.

Message edited 1/3/2010 8:58:09 AM.

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Posted by Kerie-is-so-very

Is your husband unable to be alone with your child? I was just wondering if he is home on disability, why you can't get out to a support group. Have you looked into the links between OCD and Tourette Syndrome? I read a lot of medical literature for my work and maybe there is a treatment connection there.

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

I have been thinking about you! I am glad that you have posted. Hang in there!! We are all praying for you and thinking lots of good thoughts!!!

Love to you and Jacob!!!!!

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

Your in my prayers!

Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****

I wish I could help you in some way. I'm not close to you and have 3 little ones so I cant babysit but I will keep an eye out for someone.

What else can WE do to help you?????


I'm thinking of you