Thank you :)

Thank you all very very much :)

Message edited 7/18/2012 5:14:03 PM.

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

I would seek advice from a child therapist.

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Posted by Linda1003

I would seek advice from a child therapist.

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Ugh I don't even know what to say...I'm not judging and I hope this resolves itself.. But my first inclination is abuse? Not by you, but I think this acting is sometimes a sign of sexual abuse by an older figure.

I would bring her to a psychologist ... Not saying she needs one or that she is crazy or something..but just to be sure. They can sometimes do play therapy and find out things.

I'm so sorry and I don't want you to think I'm accusatory..I'm not, I just rather have that potential issue rules out first.

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

I used to babysit for two young girls similar in age who used to act like this. Turns out, they had gotten access to some pornographic stations on TV in their playroom, while their parents were upstairs (they admitted this).


Not sure what you should do but just wanted to throw this senario out. Please don't quote.

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Posted by Sparrow

Posted by Linda1003

I would seek advice from a child therapist.

I have no experience with this but I think I might go this route too. If your ped is brushing it off but YOU still feel it's an issue then I wouldn't let it go. While I do agree in not shaming kids about this stuff you also need to get it across that it's not acceptable to do in public. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

As far as the masturbation, it is completely normal for that age. Having taught kindergarden and 1st grade i would see this all the time from girls.

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

I did a lot of stuff like that when I was little. Some was just curiosity, some from tv yes even commercials and soap operas that seem innocent and some from not great influences. Maybe you can talk to a qualified therapist first before bringing her in. If u need a referral let me know. Dh is a social worker specializing in adolescents. Oxox

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Posted by Sparrow

Posted by Linda1003

I would seek advice from a child therapist.

If your ped is brushing it off but YOU still feel it's an issue then I wouldn't let it go. :

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

I don't want to seem out of line, but maybe your 11 year old is teaching her more than you are aware of?
Could it be possible that the 11 year old is bringing the "information" home but is able to hide it better from you and the 6 year old doesn't know any better..?

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Posted by mnmsoinlove

Posted by Champ

As far as the masturbation, it is completely normal for that age. Having taught kindergarden and 1st grade i would see this all the time from girls.

I agree having worked with girls this age. What concerns me is her obsession with growing "boobs" and touching her younger sister. I would wlso worry she may seek the wrong type of attention as she gets older. I would seek out a licensed thearpist. It may be nothing but if these behaviors are in connection with some type of abuse you will want to get help. I hope you find some type of answers soon. :

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

I would foremost be concerned with her touching the younger sister. If there is some sort of issue going on, it will be something that your family and a Dr. will take time to work out- but your younger dd is old enough to have memories of being touched sexually by her sister- and being that she is not the one having this "issue" it's really a victimization. So, I think that I would first really sit down and explain how it is okay to touch your own body but not okay to touch others like that. There is no harm in bringing her to a child psychologist.

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Thank you for all your responses. We have talked with her exhaustively about keeping her hands to herself but we keep catching her. I truly don't think it's my 11 year old... He's very aware of how much older he is than his sisters, and doesn't really talk to them about stuff. I admit, the thought of abuse has crossed my mind. It's every parents worst fear and especially with her behavior, I am terrified of that.

I think we are going to follow up with a child psychologist. I brought it up with DH a month or so ago and he wasn't wild about the idea, but I think I'm going to bring it up again.

Thank you so much for the advice!!

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Have you asked your DD about anything inappropriate happening with your 11 year old? Something seems very off about this situation. Someone is definitely role modeling this behavior to her.

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

The first thing that popped into my mind when I read your story- is that maybe this is her being influenced by one of her friends?

You said at your house there is not anything inappropriate on TV- but maybe she has seen it at a friend's house? Maybe she witnessed a friend or their older sibling open mouth kissing or touching?

I think that girls are impressionable and can be very influenced by their friends. They especially look up to older girls. I know when I was a girl my younger female cousins tried to copy me a lot (like wanting their hair to look like my horrible 80's perm, etc).

I would try to find out if she is imitating someone, and probably having her talk to a professional isn't a bad idea!

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

The touching the sister & open mouth kissing her strikes me the most.

How would she know about open mouth kissing ? Especially if all she is watching is PBS & NickJR ?

I think she is seeing this behavior somewhere and repeating/imitating it. I would get a professional involved.

I really cant understand how a Pediatrician can say ALL of these things are normal. touching herself...sure
wanting a bra... sure
But not the rest.


Sorry you are going thru this. I cant even imagine.

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

I would take her to see a child psychologist, not associated with the school district. I don't have any reason for saying that other than I wouldn't want it on her record.

Honestly, my first thought was abuse. I would just want to make sure it wasn't abuse, kwim?

If you have any type of porn on the computer or in the house. You never know, kids find everything, just move it. Don't give her access to a computer at all. I wouldn't anyway.

Also, could she be "hearing" anything? You never know when they're awake.

You may want to just adjust some things for a little bit. Not saying you're doing anything wrong at all! I'm just saying, to be safe.

To an extent I do think it's normal. I wouldn't freak out about it. You just want to be sure that there is no devious source to the behavior, and help her modify it a bit.

I think it's important to not discuss it in front of her. I know I catch myself doing that all the time.

Good Luck! I'm sure it will get better!

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

I think you have to do your due diligence and ask her some tough questions. If I were you, I would want to confidently rule out everyone: childcare providers, family members, her peers, neighbors, etc.

Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

Thank you again for the replies.

I think a lot of her behavior is normal, but I think a lot of it crosses the line. She's always been a kid who tests limits, tries to see how far she can get with things. She's also a kid who always wants to be "grown up," and I think she may perceive a lot of the things she is doing as being grown up. Her best friend also has a much older brother and sister who live at home (late teens, early 20s) so I think some of the stuff may be coming from there.

Her behavior is still really concerning, and I think it's reasonable that the thought of abuse does occur. If anyone has a rec for a child therapist, especially one that takes insurance, I would be happy to get that info!

Re: Have hesitated asking this here, but could use advice...

I have no advice beyond what most others have already said. I just wanted to wish you good luck