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LizD
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/06 763 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by ChilisWife
Omg, is EVERYONE on LI just super rich? Seems like it. How do people afford this?
Either that or super in debt. Most likely the latter.
People love to live above their means then cry about credit card debt
My nieces had it back in the 90's - so over the top - but it was the norm for that time - but still crazy but they could afford it
A lady I worked with did it for her daughter - cashed in a 401K - went over that budget then had to pay the extra in taxes because of the cash out. This was a family living paycheck to paycheck as it were before the party - should never have done it.
My DD is turning 14 soon - right now she is not interested in having one - she is not a center of attention girl. But, I also told her that it is crazy and won't happen anyway. I told her she could get a group of 10-12 and we would get a party bus, go to the city and a show and dinner or circle line cruise dinner or something, or a big trip somewhere (but we do those anyway ). It will be interesting to see if any of her friends do this. I know the friends that she is still friends with from elementary school won't be having them per the moms that have spoken about it
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Posted 1/23/18 8:15 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by LizD
A lady I worked with did it for her daughter - cashed in a 401K - went over that budget then had to pay the extra in taxes because of the cash out. This was a family living paycheck to paycheck as it were before the party - should never have done it.
Exactly what i mean. This is the problem with America. Nobody has any money saved for retirement because....priorities.
Cashing in a 401K with tax penalties to boot for a 4 hour party is about the most financially irresponsible thing you can do.
Message edited 1/23/2018 8:59:49 AM.
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| Posted 1/23/18 8:59 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
I would also like to add...have you seen the way 15 & 16 years olds dress for these things?? The other day, my friend posted pics of a sweet 16 where the entire court was wearing tight, tight, tight, super short black dresses with THIGH HIGH boots. They looked like 25 year old strippers. I was like who the hell approved this?
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| Posted 1/23/18 10:20 AM |
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LizD
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/06 763 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LizD
A lady I worked with did it for her daughter - cashed in a 401K - went over that budget then had to pay the extra in taxes because of the cash out. This was a family living paycheck to paycheck as it were before the party - should never have done it.
Exactly what i mean. This is the problem with America. Nobody has any money saved for retirement because....priorities.
Cashing in a 401K with tax penalties to boot for a 4 hour party is about the most financially irresponsible thing you can do.
thank you. I 100% agree. It's really foolish!!
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| Posted 1/23/18 12:22 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by FirstMate
I would also like to add...have you seen the way 15 & 16 years olds dress for these things?? The other day, my friend posted pics of a sweet 16 where the entire court was wearing tight, tight, tight, super short black dresses with THIGH HIGH boots. They looked like 25 year old strippers. I was like who the hell approved this?
The parents have to be buying it for them since I doubt they kids have their own money and go shopping on their own.
It's disgraceful. Gross
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| Posted 1/23/18 12:27 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by FirstMate
I would also like to add...have you seen the way 15 & 16 years olds dress for these things?? The other day, my friend posted pics of a sweet 16 where the entire court was wearing tight, tight, tight, super short black dresses with THIGH HIGH boots. They looked like 25 year old strippers. I was like who the hell approved this?
It's deplorable!! I must be getting old because sweet 16 and prom dresses I have seen posted over the last few years make my jaw drop. WTH are parents thinking to allow that?!
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| Posted 1/23/18 12:32 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
I don't see whats the big deal if it's a cultural thing like a bat Mitzvah. I mean granted you shouldn't be putting your house for sale or cashing in on 401K. But if the parents have the money, who cares.
I know a lot of hispanics (myself included) or people in general who don't have these expensive 2 hr kid place parties every year but would have a big quinces or sweet sixteen for their daughter. So it may cost just the same when you add all those up.
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| Posted 1/23/18 12:34 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by MerryChristmas
Posted by FirstMate
I would also like to add...have you seen the way 15 & 16 years olds dress for these things?? The other day, my friend posted pics of a sweet 16 where the entire court was wearing tight, tight, tight, super short black dresses with THIGH HIGH boots. They looked like 25 year old strippers. I was like who the hell approved this?
It's deplorable!! I must be getting old because sweet 16 and prom dresses I have seen posted over the last few years make my jaw drop. WTH are parents thinking to allow that?!
I remember when my niece was 13, we would see pics of her on social media at bar mitzvahs and such wearing really slutty outfits like that. At 13!!! My husband once said something to his sister (her mom) about it and her response was- well that is what they are all wearing so...
So... you let your 13 year old dress like a hootchie because everyone else is? Real great way to teach your child. If the others were all getting drunk and high at 13 would you help her buy the booze and drugs too?
I know when they get older, they can buy their own clothes and sneak out on their own and change (I used to do it- but I was like 19 at the time! Not 13!) At 13 you are buying it for them, driving them to the event, AND seeing pics of it. You are fully aware.
The problem is 100% with the parents.
Maybe they are trying to live vicariously through their kids.
Deplorable is right.
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| Posted 1/23/18 12:36 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LizD
A lady I worked with did it for her daughter - cashed in a 401K - went over that budget then had to pay the extra in taxes because of the cash out. This was a family living paycheck to paycheck as it were before the party - should never have done it.
Exactly what i mean. This is the problem with America. Nobody has any money saved for retirement because....priorities.
Cashing in a 401K with tax penalties to boot for a 4 hour party is about the most financially irresponsible thing you can do.
Whomever did this needs their head examined. This is keeping up with the jones' to the MAX.
This would never be up my 7yo DD's alley but I don't think these are all that big in my town anyway and definitely not in my family. I'd do a special trip with her or maybe take her and her best friends into the city to do something special.
I had reasonable christenings and communions in private rooms of restaurants. They were kind of big only because my family is huge and there was/will be a dj at the communions but NOTHING extravagant at all. Even my DD's dress was bought online at Nordstrom for $80 and she loves it. I think everything has gotten way out of hand. To me, that's all money that could be going to their college funds.
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| Posted 1/23/18 12:58 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by Salason
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LizD
A lady I worked with did it for her daughter - cashed in a 401K - went over that budget then had to pay the extra in taxes because of the cash out. This was a family living paycheck to paycheck as it were before the party - should never have done it.
Exactly what i mean. This is the problem with America. Nobody has any money saved for retirement because....priorities.
Cashing in a 401K with tax penalties to boot for a 4 hour party is about the most financially irresponsible thing you can do.
Whomever did this needs their head examined. This is keeping up with the jones' to the MAX.
This would never be up my 7yo DD's alley but I don't think these are all that big in my town anyway and definitely not in my family. I'd do a special trip with her or maybe take her and her best friends into the city to do something special.
I had reasonable christenings and communions in private rooms of restaurants. They were kind of big only because my family is huge and there was/will be a dj at the communions but NOTHING extravagant at all. Even my DD's dress was bought online at Nordstrom for $80 and she loves it. I think everything has gotten way out of hand. To me, that's all money that could be going to their college funds.
I bought my DD's communion dress at an online shop for $74 and it is stunning. And all the dresses they had for around $100 and many many that were way under $100 were gorgeous.
Then I hear stories of what people spend for a dress that the child will wear for a few hours and I can't wrap my head around it.
Nobody would ever know the dress I got was any cheaper than those overpriced dresses. Nobody.
It's nuts.
Message edited 1/23/2018 1:03:10 PM.
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| Posted 1/23/18 1:02 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by MerryChristmas
Posted by FirstMate
I would also like to add...have you seen the way 15 & 16 years olds dress for these things?? The other day, my friend posted pics of a sweet 16 where the entire court was wearing tight, tight, tight, super short black dresses with THIGH HIGH boots. They looked like 25 year old strippers. I was like who the hell approved this?
It's deplorable!! I must be getting old because sweet 16 and prom dresses I have seen posted over the last few years make my jaw drop. WTH are parents thinking to allow that?!
I remember when my niece was 13, we would see pics of her on social media at bar mitzvahs and such wearing really slutty outfits like that. At 13!!! My husband once said something to his sister (her mom) about it and her response was- well that is what they are all wearing so...
So... you let your 13 year old dress like a hootchie because everyone else is? Real great way to teach your child. If the others were all getting drunk and high at 13 would you help her buy the booze and drugs too?
I know when they get older, they can buy their own clothes and sneak out on their own and change (I used to do it- but I was like 19 at the time! Not 13!) At 13 you are buying it for them, driving them to the event, AND seeing pics of it. You are fully aware.
The problem is 100% with the parents.
Maybe they are trying to live vicariously through their kids.
Deplorable is right.
funny I wrote that a lot of it is the mothers who are pathetically trying to live vicariously through their kids but deleted it thinking I was being too harsh. Reading that actually made me LOL!
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| Posted 1/23/18 1:34 PM |
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LizD
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/06 763 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by MerryChristmas
Posted by FirstMate
I would also like to add...have you seen the way 15 & 16 years olds dress for these things?? The other day, my friend posted pics of a sweet 16 where the entire court was wearing tight, tight, tight, super short black dresses with THIGH HIGH boots. They looked like 25 year old strippers. I was like who the hell approved this?
It's deplorable!! I must be getting old because sweet 16 and prom dresses I have seen posted over the last few years make my jaw drop. WTH are parents thinking to allow that?!
I remember when my niece was 13, we would see pics of her on social media at bar mitzvahs and such wearing really slutty outfits like that. At 13!!! My husband once said something to his sister (her mom) about it and her response was- well that is what they are all wearing so...
So... you let your 13 year old dress like a hootchie because everyone else is? Real great way to teach your child. If the others were all getting drunk and high at 13 would you help her buy the booze and drugs too?
I know when they get older, they can buy their own clothes and sneak out on their own and change (I used to do it- but I was like 19 at the time! Not 13!) At 13 you are buying it for them, driving them to the event, AND seeing pics of it. You are fully aware.
The problem is 100% with the parents.
Maybe they are trying to live vicariously through their kids.
Deplorable is right.
My DD is turning 14 March 1st and I tell you it is scary some of the outfits I see at drop off at parties and even just hanging out. I am lucky that my DD is on the modest side and doesn't even ask for clothes that are not appropriate - I hope that lasts. I never even let her get sweats with writing on the butt - why draw unnecessary attention to her butt!!
It is absolutely the parents. If she picked something I did not approve of she would not be buying it and I would not be paying for it - even if she had the money I wouldn't let her get it anyway.
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| Posted 1/24/18 8:48 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LizD
A lady I worked with did it for her daughter - cashed in a 401K - went over that budget then had to pay the extra in taxes because of the cash out. This was a family living paycheck to paycheck as it were before the party - should never have done it.
Exactly what i mean. This is the problem with America. Nobody has any money saved for retirement because....priorities.
Cashing in a 401K with tax penalties to boot for a 4 hour party is about the most financially irresponsible thing you can do.
I agree 100%!! That is insane!!!!! I can't even imagine!!!!
Call me a "mean mom" but I don't feel like it's my job as a parent to give my kids EVERY SINGLE LITTLE thing their heart desires. ESPECIALLY if it's something that would put me in debt. I know it's all a personal choice but even if money isn't an issue, for ME, I don't see a need to give a 16 year old KID a party that is on par with a wedding. Even if my DD wants some over the top, lavish 16th birthday party (which I really doubt she will) it's just not happening and NOT because we don't have the money, I just don't have the desire to give it to her. I think it's too much. JMO.
BTW, I completely understand that in some cultures this is what is expected and is the norm. I totally get it and I can appreciate that. Just want to make that point clear. 
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| Posted 1/24/18 10:07 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LizD
A lady I worked with did it for her daughter - cashed in a 401K - went over that budget then had to pay the extra in taxes because of the cash out. This was a family living paycheck to paycheck as it were before the party - should never have done it.
Exactly what i mean. This is the problem with America. Nobody has any money saved for retirement because....priorities.
Cashing in a 401K with tax penalties to boot for a 4 hour party is about the most financially irresponsible thing you can do.
I agree 100%!! That is insane!!!!! I can't even imagine!!!!
Call me a "mean mom" but I don't feel like it's my job as a parent to give my kids EVERY SINGLE LITTLE thing their heart desires. ESPECIALLY if it's something that would put me in debt. I know it's all a personal choice but even if money isn't an issue, for ME, I don't see a need to give a 16 year old KID a party that is on par with a wedding. Even if my DD wants some over the top, lavish 16th birthday party (which I really doubt she will) it's just not happening and NOT because we don't have the money, I just don't have the desire to give it to her. I think it's too much. JMO.
BTW, I completely understand that in some cultures this is what is expected and is the norm. I totally get it and I can appreciate that. Just want to make that point clear.
Eh I don't know that giving your DD a big sweet 16 means you give them every little thing their heart desires. My kids are 6 and 3 and I certainly do not give into their every whim and have no plans to as they get older, but I would give my DD a big party if she wanted (I would never put myself in debt bc I am not a moron lmao) bc I know it would be a memory she would have forever and that would be important to me.
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| Posted 1/24/18 10:19 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LizD
A lady I worked with did it for her daughter - cashed in a 401K - went over that budget then had to pay the extra in taxes because of the cash out. This was a family living paycheck to paycheck as it were before the party - should never have done it.
Exactly what i mean. This is the problem with America. Nobody has any money saved for retirement because....priorities.
Cashing in a 401K with tax penalties to boot for a 4 hour party is about the most financially irresponsible thing you can do.
I agree 100%!! That is insane!!!!! I can't even imagine!!!!
Call me a "mean mom" but I don't feel like it's my job as a parent to give my kids EVERY SINGLE LITTLE thing their heart desires. ESPECIALLY if it's something that would put me in debt. I know it's all a personal choice but even if money isn't an issue, for ME, I don't see a need to give a 16 year old KID a party that is on par with a wedding. Even if my DD wants some over the top, lavish 16th birthday party (which I really doubt she will) it's just not happening and NOT because we don't have the money, I just don't have the desire to give it to her. I think it's too much. JMO.
BTW, I completely understand that in some cultures this is what is expected and is the norm. I totally get it and I can appreciate that. Just want to make that point clear.
Eh I don't know that giving your DD a big sweet 16 means you give them every little thing their heart desires. My kids are 6 and 3 and I certainly do not give into their every whim and have no plans to as they get older, but I would give my DD a big party if she wanted (I would never put myself in debt bc I am not a moron lmao) bc I know it would be a memory she would have forever and that would be important to me.
I meant "generally speaking". I think A LOT of times parents (not you  ) will go to any lengths INCLUDING putting themselves in debt or spending all of their savings just because they want to "make their kids happy". Whether that happiness comes from a car, a party, a vacation, etc. etc. the point is, parents many times will go over the top and overextend themselves just to "keep up" and keep their kids smiling. I just feel like sometimes parents do and do and do AND give and give and give because they never want their kids to feel let down or disappointed and if that's the motivation, it's a disservice to the kids. It's OKAY to not have it all.
Message edited 1/24/2018 11:07:39 AM.
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| Posted 1/24/18 11:07 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
If you can afford it and you want to spend the money on a big party for your child, I don't think anyone should care one way or another. Different people have different priorities. Some families may give their 16 year old a new car, some might take them on a nice trip, some might throw a big party, and some might do nothing at all. I don't think anyone should care one way or another but anyone spending any money on things that they can't afford is completely ridiculous to me. I honestly can not understand how people can live like that especially when they are spending it on non necessary items. It's one thing if you are living paycheck to paycheck to put food on the table and keep the lights on but it's another to be in credit card debt up to your eyeballs to have nice cars, throw large parties, take expensive vacations or buy the latest electronics. I just wouldn't be able to sleep at night!
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| Posted 1/24/18 12:02 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LizD
A lady I worked with did it for her daughter - cashed in a 401K - went over that budget then had to pay the extra in taxes because of the cash out. This was a family living paycheck to paycheck as it were before the party - should never have done it.
Exactly what i mean. This is the problem with America. Nobody has any money saved for retirement because....priorities.
Cashing in a 401K with tax penalties to boot for a 4 hour party is about the most financially irresponsible thing you can do.
I agree 100%!! That is insane!!!!! I can't even imagine!!!!
Call me a "mean mom" but I don't feel like it's my job as a parent to give my kids EVERY SINGLE LITTLE thing their heart desires. ESPECIALLY if it's something that would put me in debt. I know it's all a personal choice but even if money isn't an issue, for ME, I don't see a need to give a 16 year old KID a party that is on par with a wedding. Even if my DD wants some over the top, lavish 16th birthday party (which I really doubt she will) it's just not happening and NOT because we don't have the money, I just don't have the desire to give it to her. I think it's too much. JMO.
BTW, I completely understand that in some cultures this is what is expected and is the norm. I totally get it and I can appreciate that. Just want to make that point clear.
Eh I don't know that giving your DD a big sweet 16 means you give them every little thing their heart desires. My kids are 6 and 3 and I certainly do not give into their every whim and have no plans to as they get older, but I would give my DD a big party if she wanted (I would never put myself in debt bc I am not a moron lmao) bc I know it would be a memory she would have forever and that would be important to me.
I meant "generally speaking". I think A LOT of times parents (not you ) will go to any lengths INCLUDING putting themselves in debt or spending all of their savings just because they want to "make their kids happy". Whether that happiness comes from a car, a party, a vacation, etc. etc. the point is, parents many times will go over the top and overextend themselves just to "keep up" and keep their kids smiling. I just feel like sometimes parents do and do and do AND give and give and give because they never want their kids to feel let down or disappointed and if that's the motivation, it's a disservice to the kids. It's OKAY to not have it all.
Oh I actually think it's quite the contrary with these over the top parties. I think it's the parents driving the ridiculousness more than the kids. I think they are more concerned with the perception the other parents will have of the party. But.... the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
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| Posted 1/24/18 12:05 PM |
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Disneygirl17
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/16 496 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
I turned 16 in 91. I’m old 
I remember going to a bunch. Most at halls. All over the top and ridiculous. But fun. I didn’t have one. My parents were broke. I have no idea what my kids are going to want.
ETA. My husbands cousins daughter had one. It was ridiculous. All the kids were drinking and it was just a mess. No thanks
Message edited 1/24/2018 12:39:08 PM.
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| Posted 1/24/18 12:38 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by Disneygirl17
I turned 16 in 91. I’m old
I remember going to a bunch. Most at halls. All over the top and ridiculous. But fun. I didn’t have one. My parents were broke. I have no idea what my kids are going to want.
ETA. My husbands cousins daughter had one. It was ridiculous. All the kids were drinking and it was just a mess. No thanks
I have you beat. I turned 16 in 90!
Nobody I knew had a big party, but to be honest I really don't remember much from when i was 16. Maybe they did and I just don't remember.
I had a party in my parent's house with some family and close friends. Catered in a hero and such.
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| Posted 1/24/18 12:42 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LizD
A lady I worked with did it for her daughter - cashed in a 401K - went over that budget then had to pay the extra in taxes because of the cash out. This was a family living paycheck to paycheck as it were before the party - should never have done it.
Exactly what i mean. This is the problem with America. Nobody has any money saved for retirement because....priorities.
Cashing in a 401K with tax penalties to boot for a 4 hour party is about the most financially irresponsible thing you can do.
I agree 100%!! That is insane!!!!! I can't even imagine!!!!
Call me a "mean mom" but I don't feel like it's my job as a parent to give my kids EVERY SINGLE LITTLE thing their heart desires. ESPECIALLY if it's something that would put me in debt. I know it's all a personal choice but even if money isn't an issue, for ME, I don't see a need to give a 16 year old KID a party that is on par with a wedding. Even if my DD wants some over the top, lavish 16th birthday party (which I really doubt she will) it's just not happening and NOT because we don't have the money, I just don't have the desire to give it to her. I think it's too much. JMO.
BTW, I completely understand that in some cultures this is what is expected and is the norm. I totally get it and I can appreciate that. Just want to make that point clear.
Eh I don't know that giving your DD a big sweet 16 means you give them every little thing their heart desires. My kids are 6 and 3 and I certainly do not give into their every whim and have no plans to as they get older, but I would give my DD a big party if she wanted (I would never put myself in debt bc I am not a moron lmao) bc I know it would be a memory she would have forever and that would be important to me.
I meant "generally speaking". I think A LOT of times parents (not you ) will go to any lengths INCLUDING putting themselves in debt or spending all of their savings just because they want to "make their kids happy". Whether that happiness comes from a car, a party, a vacation, etc. etc. the point is, parents many times will go over the top and overextend themselves just to "keep up" and keep their kids smiling. I just feel like sometimes parents do and do and do AND give and give and give because they never want their kids to feel let down or disappointed and if that's the motivation, it's a disservice to the kids. It's OKAY to not have it all.
Oh I actually think it's quite the contrary with these over the top parties. I think it's the parents driving the ridiculousness more than the kids. I think they are more concerned with the perception the other parents will have of the party. But.... the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
I don't know. Some kids are pretty obnoxious and demanding. DS is still very young but seeing what goes on in our school district is crazy to me. I don't know what I'll do when DS is older. I can afford to live here, but I can't afford to "keep up with the Joneses" so to speak. I mean these teenagers drive 50k+ cars, demand expensive designer clothes/shoes, go to fancy summer camps, get the latest iphones as soon as they come out. I guess their parents have the money and just give in to their kids demands. I don't want to raise my son to be a brat, but I also don't want him to feel out of place or like he doesn't belong. Hopefully I'll win the lotto one day and never have to worry about it again. 
ETA: I turned 16 in '98 or '99 if my math is correct. I don't think I even celebrated because my parents couldn't afford it. All my friends had huge parties though. I must have gone to at least 12 parties. I remember how much it sucked cause I didn't want to miss out, but the gifts came out of the money I earned with my part-time job.
Message edited 1/24/2018 1:03:08 PM.
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| Posted 1/24/18 12:58 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
I don't know. Some kids are pretty obnoxious and demanding. DS is still very young but seeing what goes on in our school district is crazy to me. I don't know what I'll do when DS is older. I can afford to live here, but I can't afford to "keep up with the Joneses" so to speak. I mean these teenagers drive 50k+ cars, demand expensive designer clothes/shoes, go to fancy summer camps, get the latest iphones as soon as they come out. I guess their parents have the money and just give in to their kids demands. I don't want to raise my son to be a brat, but I also don't want him to feel out of place or like he doesn't belong. Hopefully I'll win the lotto one day and never have to worry about it again.
ETA: I turned 16 in '98 or '99 if my math is correct. I don't think I even celebrated because my parents couldn't afford it. All my friends had huge parties though. I must have gone to at least 12 parties. I remember how much it sucked cause I didn't want to miss out, but the gifts came out of the money I earned with my part-time job.
But even if your kid is obnoxious and demanding you still have the option to say no. My 5 year old is demanding, but I am the one with the power. If I say yes to everything she wants it's my fault not hers. And unless the 16 year old has a gun to your head I doubt they have access to the money to throw one of these huge parties. So ultimately it has to come down to the parents one way or another.
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| Posted 1/24/18 2:54 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by lululu
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
I don't know. Some kids are pretty obnoxious and demanding. DS is still very young but seeing what goes on in our school district is crazy to me. I don't know what I'll do when DS is older. I can afford to live here, but I can't afford to "keep up with the Joneses" so to speak. I mean these teenagers drive 50k+ cars, demand expensive designer clothes/shoes, go to fancy summer camps, get the latest iphones as soon as they come out. I guess their parents have the money and just give in to their kids demands. I don't want to raise my son to be a brat, but I also don't want him to feel out of place or like he doesn't belong. Hopefully I'll win the lotto one day and never have to worry about it again.
ETA: I turned 16 in '98 or '99 if my math is correct. I don't think I even celebrated because my parents couldn't afford it. All my friends had huge parties though. I must have gone to at least 12 parties. I remember how much it sucked cause I didn't want to miss out, but the gifts came out of the money I earned with my part-time job.
But even if your kid is obnoxious and demanding you still have the option to say no. My 5 year old is demanding, but I am the one with the power. If I say yes to everything she wants it's my fault not hers. And unless the 16 year old has a gun to your head I doubt they have access to the money to throw one of these huge parties. So ultimately it has to come down to the parents one way or another.
Yeah exactly, parents could say no, they just don't. My long-winded reply was just to say, I don't think it's necessarily the parents driving the ridiculousness. Their kids demand things and they just won't say no. It doesn't make it right.
I do get where they are coming from though. I'll feel bad when I have to say no to DS when he starts asking for crazy stuff. Which is inevitable because all the other kids around here are so spoiled, but we don't have as much money as the other families.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not insane and I def wouldn't take out a loan or cash in my retirement to throw a crazy party. If I had a daughter and she wanted a party for her sweet 16, I would def try to throw her one I could afford though. I will try to buy DS a nice enough car when the time comes.
Other parents I know, they will say yes just to avoid having to hear their kid ask for things a million times. They have the money so I guess they figure "why not?". Most of them don't like wasting money on stupid crap and they complain about it, but they won't put their foot down.
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| Posted 1/24/18 4:16 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Disneygirl17
I turned 16 in 91. I’m old
I remember going to a bunch. Most at halls. All over the top and ridiculous. But fun. I didn’t have one. My parents were broke. I have no idea what my kids are going to want.
ETA. My husbands cousins daughter had one. It was ridiculous. All the kids were drinking and it was just a mess. No thanks
I have you beat. I turned 16 in 90!
Nobody I knew had a big party, but to be honest I really don't remember much from when i was 16. Maybe they did and I just don't remember.
I had a party in my parent's house with some family and close friends. Catered in a hero and such.
LOL I was 16 in 1991 as well!! 
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| Posted 1/24/18 4:23 PM |
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2girlsforme
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3071 total posts
Name:
XXXXXXXXX
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
I too live in the land of excess and although I can afford it, and wouldn't do it. It just doesn't mesh with our family values.
My 20 year old didn't want one. I gave her a beautiful piece of jewelry and a very nice night out with some friends. However, the year she graduated high school, we took a ridiculously expensive Alaskan cruise, which she chose over Europe. It was a trip we will all always remember.
Now my younger one, who just turned 15, would probably want one, if I were to open the door. If all is going as I believe it should in her life next year, I would consider a very modest party. But, I'm going to push for another trip.
Its funny, when a relative asked me about throwing a Sweet 16 and was a little perplexed when I told her we didn't believe in over the top parties, she was surprised that I had taken that stance in "my neighborhood." I told her that I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks and that we spend money where we feel it should be spent. For the record, my kids will not have school loans. A far better gift in my opinion.
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| Posted 1/24/18 5:02 PM |
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2girlsforme
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3071 total posts
Name:
XXXXXXXXX
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Re: Spinoff to Sweet 16's
Posted by 2girlsforme
I too live in the land of excess and although I can afford it, I wouldn't do it. It just doesn't mesh with our family values.
My 20 year old didn't want one. I gave her a beautiful piece of jewelry and a very nice night out with some friends. However, the year she graduated high school, we took a ridiculously expensive Alaskan cruise, which she chose over Europe. It was a trip we will all always remember.
Now my younger one, who just turned 15, would probably want one, if I were to open the door. If all is going as I believe it should in her life next year, I would consider a very modest party. But, I'm going to push for another trip.
Its funny, when a relative asked me about throwing a Sweet 16 and was a little perplexed when I told her we didn't believe in over the top parties, she was surprised that I had taken that stance in "my neighborhood." I told her that I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks and that we spend money where we feel it should be spent. For the record, my kids will not have school loans. A far better gift in my opinion.
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| Posted 1/24/18 5:03 PM |
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