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SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

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Goobster
:)

Member since 5/07

27557 total posts

Name:
:)

SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I wonder if anyone else feels this way. I feel so stagnant. I feel like I can't get anything done all day, other than cook for, feed, play with and take care of my DD.

I sort of feel like everything in my old life is so different now and it's frustrating. I want to get organized in my home but I just can't find the time. Even when DD is finally sleeping or with DH, I need some time to unwind and just be alone....hard to start chores, tasks, etc.

I love my DD so much but I feel like everything else is in shambles. I used to be so organized and now I feel like it's all a mess. It's driving me crazy that even though I am in my HOME all day, it's almost impossible to get organized or get too much done.

Anyone can relate?

Posted 2/11/10 4:48 PM
 
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!

Member since 12/05

20105 total posts

Name:
Lauren

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I feel exactly the same way, except for the fact when they are sleeping, I am working. Naps and nightime.
I cant get ANYTHING done. I do the laundry, but don't have any time to put it away, so the PNP and two laundry baskets are filled up with clean clothes. I have to dig through them to find things for us to wear. Many days I don't even get out of my pajamas. I used to care so much about that stuff - and always swore I'd never become the mom who didn't do anything about her appearance - and now have become that person. It has made me so unhappy.

Posted 2/11/10 4:53 PM
 

laurabora
LIF Adult

Member since 4/07

2712 total posts

Name:
Laura

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I can sympathize but I promise you it will get better. She will be able to amuse herself at some point and you can tackle things you need to do.

For now, I would suggest putting her in the high chair with some cheerios and just doing whatever you need to do. That's what I do when I have DD here and just need to get something done.

Posted 2/11/10 4:53 PM
 

Annie91606
Brotherly love

Member since 12/07

1816 total posts

Name:
Anne

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I can definitely relate. It took some time for me to get used to my new life, get into a groove/routine, and feel like I was on top of things.

When I was working, there were tangible accomplishments that I had, but your new day will develop a rhythm of its own.

Now, I take pride in every little thing I do manage to get done. I love making lists, even with minor tasks, so I can cross them offChat Icon

I have been home almost a year now. Of course, now that I feel good, my world will get rocked again when DS #2 arrives in MayChat Icon

Posted 2/11/10 4:55 PM
 

ddunne2
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

4189 total posts

Name:
Doreen

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

For me, the captivity of winter really affects my ability to be productive. I'm in a complete funk due to being trapped in my house all winter. The kids get bored, I seem to get nothing done beyond the basics.

Once the weather warms up and we can get outside we are all much more productive. Otherwise, its just like living the movie groundhog day!

Hang in there!

Posted 2/11/10 4:59 PM
 

Stefanie

Member since 5/05

23599 total posts

Name:
Stefanie

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Yes. I can relate. There are days when all I do is lay around with the kids and then there are days when I'm superwoman.
First things first. Take care of yourself. Take a shower, get dressed, put a little makeup on...this will make you feel like you're a little more put together. If I'm in sweats all day long, I feel like crap and I do nothing.
Try to create a schedule for yourself where you do certain tasks on certains days. Break it up over the week so you're not killing yourself all day to do the laundry or clean the house.
Also try to make easy meals so you're not in the kitchen for a long time. I like to defrost the food the night before and then prepare the meal early to only pop it in the oven later for dinner.

We all go through this...I'm having an off day today...sink full of dishes, some laundry piled up...but I got out in the snow today with my oldest ds, so it's all good then.
Chat Icon

Posted 2/11/10 5:05 PM
 

ReiRei13
Life is Good!!

Member since 1/08

6460 total posts

Name:

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I could have written that word for word!!

Posted 2/11/10 5:07 PM
 

Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!

Member since 6/06

14437 total posts

Name:
C

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by Goobster

I wonder if anyone else feels this way. I feel so stagnant. I feel like I can't get anything done all day, other than cook for, feed, play with and take care of my DD.

I sort of feel like everything in my old life is so different now and it's frustrating. I want to get organized in my home but I just can't find the time. Even when DD is finally sleeping or with DH, I need some time to unwind and just be alone....hard to start chores, tasks, etc.

I love my DD so much but I feel like everything else is in shambles. I used to be so organized and now I feel like it's all a mess. It's driving me crazy that even though I am in my HOME all day, it's almost impossible to get organized or get too much done.

Anyone can relate?




I feel how you feel EVERYDAY and I work p/t 2 days. I feel horrible saying it but I look forward to going to work those 2 days just to have some quiet, me time Chat Icon

I feel like I am so unorganized. I cannot get anything done because I have a toddler who used to be extremely independent but since DS #2 was born he wants me constantly. And I have a 5 mo. old who doesnt nap much and wants me all day long as well. I feel torn and split between the both of them.

By the end of the day I am emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted and DRAINED from the crying, the whining, battles with my toddler to eat, battling with my 5 mo. old to sleep. DS #1's whining has gotten so bad that I have been sending him up to his room because I just can't stand listening to it anymore...he cries over everything. I feel like he is an emotional wreck lately. He's in nursery school 2x's a week and I just signed him up for soccertots/lil sluggers because he needs to be out of the house. I know once the warmer weather comes and I can go for walks and to the park he will be back to his old self.

Posted 2/11/10 5:12 PM
 

maiden
Whoa!

Member since 5/08

1814 total posts

Name:
T

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Oh my goodness, yes. I feel the exact same way. I see so many moms working full time and I feel like I could never do that b/c taking care of the house is so tough without any added responsibilities. And things are still not organized or cleaned the way they should be. And my DH helps out a lot too. The act of cooking, feeding, cleaning up after, and doing the laundry for my family seems to take up almost all my time. Sometimes I feel like I am in the kitchen all day. And scheduling things for a certain time of day is virtually impossible b/c DD needs vary so much day to day. And never mind taking care of myself - exercise, showering, etc. I never understood how moms "let themselves go", but now I do.

One thing I did set up for myself 2 weeks ago is a little schedule to do 1 thing a day. Besides the usual laundry, cooking, etc., I will clean floors on Wednesday, pay bills Thursday, change sheets on Friday, etc. I admit I have not been 100% successful, but I did much better than if I didn't have this schedule and I strive to be better each week.

Good luck. Chat Icon I am right there with you.

Posted 2/11/10 5:14 PM
 

hannahsmom
Yummy yummy cookie...

Member since 10/08

2005 total posts

Name:
Laura

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Right there with you... Plus, we just moved last weekend, so on top of things being everywhere, I still haven't unpacked everything. DS just fell asleep, but the last thing I feel like doing right now is putting things away.

Posted 2/11/10 5:15 PM
 

BnBdreamin
Gonna be a BIG Bro in April!

Member since 10/06

5913 total posts

Name:
Denise

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I do not even have time for a full reply but just wanted to say that I can totally relate too!

Just a quick thing that my mom said to me when I was discussing this very issue.... they don't stay this young forever so enjoy it while you can. She said she'd give anything for one month of us four kids at this age (under 1). Just one month each! The chores will get done.

Posted 2/11/10 5:17 PM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I am sure that every SAHM has felt that way at one point.

Things that help:

Get out of the house. Run errands. Schedule playdates. Go to Open Plays. Sign your DD up for classes. We were always on the go, so much so, that I treasured my time at home.

Let your DD learn how to play independently. You can be in the same room, but let her explore and do things on her own. I really was never on top of Jack, and because of this he is a very independent toddler.

Write a list for the week of things you want to accomplish, and when you are done cross them off. On my list I literally have "Food shopping, laundry, etc"

Try to make the most of this time. As hard as it seems, it goes way too fast. Even if you have a horrible day - remember that you get a fresh start the next day. There are times when my toddler has me pulling the hair out of my head and I want to send my resume out - and there are days that are just wondeful. It all depends on the mood of the little 2.5 year old boy sitting in the other room (most definately NOT eating his dinner right now Chat Icon ) Chat Icon

Posted 2/11/10 5:33 PM
 

Diana712
RIP my beloved Brother Richard

Member since 5/07

6710 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Goobster I feel exactly the same way.. I cant get even out of my PJ's most days. I hate my guts! I feel like I never take this poor kid anywhere.. I try to make my bed everyday but whats the point? I wonder if this is a touch of depression? For me at least I am not saying you but just typing this I feel like crying.. my cabinets my dresser drawers are a disgrace.. All in balls.. Now my dd's are a mess just like mine.. I need help.. I have a girl come in e/2wks but it still is never enough.. I hope you feel better but you are not alone at all..Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/11/10 5:33 PM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by dilb712

Goobster I feel exactly the same way.. I cant get even out of my PJ's most days. I hate my guts! I feel like I never take this poor kid anywhere.. I try to make my bed everyday but whats the point? I wonder if this is a touch of depression? For me at least I am not saying you but just typing this I feel like crying.. my cabinets my dresser drawers are a disgrace.. All in balls.. Now my dd's are a mess just like mine.. I need help.. I have a girl come in e/2wks but it still is never enough.. I hope you feel better but you are not alone at all..Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Is there anything we can do to help?Chat Icon

Posted 2/11/10 5:37 PM
 

Goobster
:)

Member since 5/07

27557 total posts

Name:
:)

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by maiden
act of cooking, feeding, cleaning up after, and doing the laundry for my family seems to take up almost all my time. Sometimes I feel like I am in the kitchen all day. And scheduling things for a certain time of day is virtually impossible b/c DD needs vary so much day to day. And never mind taking care of myself - exercise, showering, etc. I never understood how moms "let themselves go", but now I do.
.



I say this all the time. B/w meal time and cooking and doing dishes, I feel like I am standing at my kitchen sink forver each day. It is driving me insane.

I also NEVER thought I could let myself go. Well I just ate half a bag of honey mustard and onion pretzels bits for "lunch". This is just awful. I gotta gain control of myself and get organized but since DD is now walking, it's just so hard.Chat Icon

Posted 2/11/10 5:37 PM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by Goobster

Posted by maiden
act of cooking, feeding, cleaning up after, and doing the laundry for my family seems to take up almost all my time. Sometimes I feel like I am in the kitchen all day. And scheduling things for a certain time of day is virtually impossible b/c DD needs vary so much day to day. And never mind taking care of myself - exercise, showering, etc. I never understood how moms "let themselves go", but now I do.
.



I say this all the time. B/w meal time and cooking and doing dishes, I feel like I am standing at my kitchen sink forver each day. It is driving me insane.

I also NEVER thought I could let myself go. Well I just ate half a bag of honey mustard and onion pretzels bits for "lunch". This is just awful. I gotta gain control of myself and get organized but since DD is now walking, it's just so hard.Chat Icon



Do you have a room you can keep her in safely by herself?

Message edited 2/11/2010 5:39:23 PM.

Posted 2/11/10 5:39 PM
 

Goobster
:)

Member since 5/07

27557 total posts

Name:
:)

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by dilb712

Goobster I feel exactly the same way.. I cant get even out of my PJ's most days. I hate my guts! I feel like I never take this poor kid anywhere.. I try to make my bed everyday but whats the point? I wonder if this is a touch of depression? For me at least I am not saying you but just typing this I feel like crying.. my cabinets my dresser drawers are a disgrace.. All in balls.. Now my dd's are a mess just like mine.. I need help.. I have a girl come in e/2wks but it still is never enough.. I hope you feel better but you are not alone at all..Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



This is exactly how I feel. I KNOW it's a touch of depression for sure, but nothing I haven't addressed. It's just alot to bear with our lives changing so much, and seeing all the things you USED to be able to do not be able to be done anymore.

My cabinets, and clothing/drawers are a mess. I have clean clothes on top of my dresser b/c I used to switch seasons with the clothes in my attic. Now I dont bother...I just barely wear any of them and dont have to time to do this. The last time I did this I was 2 mths pg and I am still in my house everyday wearing summer clothes (it was summer).Chat Icon

I just HATE being so unorganized in my home. It makes me feel so nervous inside to be unorganzied and stagnant.

I know it will pass in time. We plan on moving, so I hope that I can start over fresh somewhere else, with my new life.

Posted 2/11/10 5:41 PM
 

1stimemom
Love my boys

Member since 2/08

8766 total posts

Name:
Mrs Dee

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I know exactly how you feel. I wish I had some advice. I have to force myself to leave the house sometimes, and it helps. I also try to make plans with people so that I HAVE to go. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/11/10 5:41 PM
 

pickles16
Real Estate Professional

Member since 11/07

17227 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I can totally relate, and to compound it, I'm the type of person that can't sit at home, so there are days where we're just out most of the day when she's not napping...I also am having a hard time not working, I loooved working and loved the adult interaction...DD can play by herself but we don't have a huuuge house and she has sooo much that I feel like her toys are taking over and that is driving me nuts as well...every day I try to do one thing that I enjoy for myself but I still am left feeling like everything else is so unorganized!!!

Posted 2/11/10 5:42 PM
 

Goobster
:)

Member since 5/07

27557 total posts

Name:
:)

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by Diana1215
Do you have a room you can keep her in safely by herself?



Well i have one room, but it's not fully safe, not safe enough for me to go upstairs, etc. I DO put her in the pack and play but I like to reserve that for the times I NEED to put her in no doubt (like going down to the basement for the laundry). For us, the other thing that adds to it is my 2 dogs, I have gates all over to keep them seperated (one of them is nippy and mean sometimes). So that adds to my disarray here.

Posted 2/11/10 5:43 PM
 

carlowlou
loving my babies!

Member since 4/08

4594 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I definitely feel like this sometimes. I feel like since I am home with DD, my house should be perfect and I should get so much more accomplished. But you know what, like alot of other people said, your baby is only a baby once and since I have this opportunity to be home with her, I have to embrace the fact that it is about HER, not the house.
Also, sometimes I feel guilty because I take the time to exercise and shower and dry my hair while she is napping. I feel like I should be doing more projects and chores during that time. But DH has said again and again to me, if I am happy and feel good about myself, DD can only benefit from that. So I try to recognize that these small things I do for myself daily are also for her.
want to write more but DD just woke up...

Posted 2/11/10 5:44 PM
 

Goobster
:)

Member since 5/07

27557 total posts

Name:
:)

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by 1stimemom

I know exactly how you feel. I wish I had some advice. I have to force myself to leave the house sometimes, and it helps. I also try to make plans with people so that I HAVE to go. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



OMG, that's how i feel. It just takes SO much energy and organization that most days, it's not something I can do unless I start really early, before I take DD out of the crib. Once she's out and the day has started, it's hard to catch up on time, getting ready, etc.Chat Icon

Posted 2/11/10 5:45 PM
 

MikesWife
Wanting...........

Member since 1/06

6887 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by BnBdreamin

I do not even have time for a full reply but just wanted to say that I can totally relate too!

Just a quick thing that my mom said to me when I was discussing this very issue.... they don't stay this young forever so enjoy it while you can. She said she'd give anything for one month of us four kids at this age (under 1). Just one month each! The chores will get done.



I'm not a SAHM but to relate to your post my mom always tells me "the days are long but the years are short." So true!!!!

Posted 2/11/10 5:46 PM
 

Goobster
:)

Member since 5/07

27557 total posts

Name:
:)

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by pickles16

I can totally relate, and to compound it, I'm the type of person that can't sit at home, so there are days where we're just out most of the day when she's not napping...I also am having a hard time not working, I loooved working and loved the adult interaction...DD can play by herself but we don't have a huuuge house and she has sooo much that I feel like her toys are taking over and that is driving me nuts as well...every day I try to do one thing that I enjoy for myself but I still am left feeling like everything else is so unorganized!!!



I never used to be able to sit home either. I have no choice now, I just don't have the energy or organization to get out daily with her.

ALso...that's part of it. When we bought our home, it was just DH and I. We had a LOT of space. Then add 2 dogs and their stuff. Now add one child and her stuff. It's so much stuff around I feel claustrophobic.

But that's why we are moving as soon as we find the right house. I want to move so badly, and just start over somewhere, hoping that I can feel more organized starting OVER when we move. There def isn;t enough space for all of us here anymore.Chat Icon

Posted 2/11/10 5:48 PM
 

DomesticDeeva
Tiebreaker on deck!!!

Member since 11/08

2088 total posts

Name:
Dee

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I feel the exact same way, and I can't see it getting any better comes Sept. when baby #2 comes. I'm scared I won't even have time to cook, clean, etc.Chat Icon

And to make it worse, I feel that DH sometimes wonders why stuff isn't done when I am home all day. He might not say it directly, or he'll joke about it sometimes, but I am sure he is thinking it.

Posted 2/11/10 5:49 PM
 
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