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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
that article is just offensive
and I'm on the liberal side of liberal
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Posted 8/17/10 7:07 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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carlowlou
loving my babies!
Member since 4/08 4594 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
the husband is the biggest a-hole living and she is a total doormat.
give me a break. I am sick to my stomach..I couldnt even finish reading it.
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| Posted 8/17/10 7:16 PM |
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sunnygirl
loving life
Member since 1/07 5413 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Posted by MetsGirl07
i was actually faced with Selective reduction myself 
not many people knew, but i originally got pregnant after IVF with Triplets.
so the first time i went to my perinatologist, he automatically said this is not good reason being, baby B's egg split, and the one that split was much smaller. he said that we should think about reducing to 2.
my body could not physically handle it, especially because i have incompetent cervix on top of that.
now i would NEVER reduce twins to one...
but then when i was faced with triplets and baby C was alrleady not looking good.. i was going to reduce
however, god had other plans and baby C didn't make it by the next appt.
i hate saying this, but glald it happened that way, so i didnt have to go through that.
i was so distraught over that time.. it was awful, and to have 2 losses already it just really damaged me
but the point is.. some people i really feel that they don't have a choice.
i had a similar experience, i was orignally carrying triplets, and it was suggested to me also because one was much smaller than the others, but it was taken care of for me when one never grew past a certain point, it was still very early on and i still cried for the loss of that baby, it is so much harder to read an article like this when you have had to deal with a similar situation
what bothered me about the article was that the dr seemed to keep saying you won't have twins, the chances are slim, and then that one won't make it,
i feel the dr mislead her to a certain degree
Message edited 8/17/2010 7:26:35 PM.
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| Posted 8/17/10 7:20 PM |
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LemonHead
Sour Girl
Member since 3/08 5271 total posts
Name:
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
You would think that her struggle to conceive would make her appreciate motherhood a little bit more.
Awful, selfish woman.
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| Posted 8/17/10 7:22 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Posted by Laura1976
That story made me cry. When I found out I was having twins I was horrified. Granted, mine were naturally conceived, but the thought of getting rid of one of them is beyond my imagination. I couldn't believe that I was going to have 3 kids under 2. But I look at my twins right now and I can't imagine one without the other.
DITTO!
That was just so sad to read
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| Posted 8/17/10 7:31 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
that just made me sick.
I know there is a difference between doing it out of medical necessity and I cannot imagine the pain that would bring.
But choosing to abort one simply because you "can't handle" twins is ridiculous.
selfish, stupid woman.
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| Posted 8/17/10 7:32 PM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Terrible
This paragraph alone...
" Perhaps the fetus would register the cessation of the heartbeat in the neighboring sac, the stilling of the fluttery movements. Could the proximity of decaying fetal tissue infuse my womb with the specter of death? If the chosen one ended up with mental illness or autism, would I always blame myself for having a reduction? All this may seem melodramatic, but I’ve heard about identical twins holding hands in utero; I’ve seen the secret language and private reality shared between even fraternal twins."
The fact that she actually thought those things out and STILL did what she did, makes me sick sick sick.
Message edited 8/17/2010 7:55:46 PM.
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| Posted 8/17/10 7:45 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Being pro-choice while I do NOT agree with this, I still think it is her right to choose. I think it was incredily naive of her to go in thinking Oh I wont have twins! Becuase alot of times that does happen! As a parent already, I'm not really sure how one can reduce one fetus. Wouldn't she always feel like someone is missing? I know I would.
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| Posted 8/17/10 8:03 PM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
I seriously had to stop reading the article a few times and go back to it because I am so sickened. My heart hurts right now. I have absolutely no sympathy or empathy for them at all.
Have your cake and eat it too, huh? You go to a fertility specialist to assist you in getting pregnant and then you ABORT because it's a multiple? The average person on the street knows that many methods, medications, etc used by fertility doctors bring a much higher chance of having multiples. I am truly truly sickened. And as another poster mentioned, that pic of the two babies had me
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| Posted 8/17/10 8:37 PM |
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peabody
Love green icing!!!
Member since 5/05 4691 total posts
Name:
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Personally, it makes sick. I could never do it.
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| Posted 8/17/10 9:01 PM |
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nymommy2be
I love the summer
Member since 1/06 2063 total posts
Name:
Kara
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Posted by Laura1976
That story made me cry. When I found out I was having twins I was horrified. Granted, mine were naturally conceived, but the thought of getting rid of one of them is beyond my imagination. I couldn't believe that I was going to have 3 kids under 2. But I look at my twins right now and I can't imagine one without the other.
Same here, I was totally freaked out about expecting twins, but that would never have even crossed my mind.
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| Posted 8/17/10 9:01 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Absolutely disgusting. God blessed her with two healthy children, and she went through the reduction just because it wasn't convenient.
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| Posted 8/17/10 9:02 PM |
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Metsmomma
Happy Winter!
Member since 1/09 5351 total posts
Name:
Renee
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
I have tears running down my face!!! i think this woman is selfish and if they couldn't handle it then maybe they shouldn't have went for the ivf to begin with. i am totally pro choice,but not in a case like this. maybe it's because i just had twins. when we found out we were pregnant it was a total shock and then when we found out it was twins, we were even more in shock! we could hardly pay our bills now. but we didn't care! we were over the moon excited. i feel so blessed to have these two little girls in my life. and if they were triplets i would have been thrilled too!!! i am truly disgusted by this story and i'm sorry i read it!
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| Posted 8/17/10 9:03 PM |
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CucumberGirl
You give the best smiles!
Member since 1/09 2398 total posts
Name:
M~
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Posted by Michelle
I am pro choice and do not agree at all with what she did, but I will fight for her right to make that decision.
The part that bugs me the most is that if your marriage can not withstand twins, then you shouldn't even be having one child. Having twins does not cause the demise of a marriage, two people that should not be together cause a divorce. Also blaming the Dr is sickening. She knew it was possible and if she was not open to that possibility she should never have gone that route.
I could not imagine only having one of my boys, the thought makes me want to vomit.
This husband and wife are so selfish and I really feel for the 2 children they have.
ITA with this - my first thought was how selfish and sad and I can't believe these are the type of people who receive such a blessing when so many others struggle, but my second was I wonder how long before they get divorced - my guess, not long.
I should stay away from these stories.
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| Posted 8/17/10 9:55 PM |
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TripletMom
My crazy Trio
Member since 3/09 2246 total posts
Name:
Paula
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
I would LOVE to just smack this woman!!!!!! This article just got me so annoyed and angry.....When my DRs found out I was carrying triplets they wanted me to reduce bc of my age and said more than likely not all the fetuses will be born let alone healthy. I had a CVS done at 12 weeks and said they only way I would ever reduce was if the CVS came back with positive findings. Well everything came back normal and I have 3 beautiful healthy children. Is it a financial strain having 3 kids at once YES but we made it thru the first year without me working. Could I have reduced knowing all 3 kids were healthy NO WAY!!!!! You do what you have to do and I feel that couple should have just left it alone since they already had a child....if they couldnt afford having more they should not have done the IF treatments. I am pro choice but what she did was just messed up IMO.
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| Posted 8/17/10 10:10 PM |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
I cannot imagine seeing my baby's heartbeat, KNOWING how developed the baby is at 12 weeks and still go through with it because I didn't know if I could 'handle' twins. I could never.
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| Posted 8/17/10 10:29 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Honestly, after thinking about this some more, this woman is full of sh it with this claim of it being such a difficult decision IMO. She went in telling her husband if they conceived multiples, there was a way to take care of it!
This is no different than someone wanting a certain gender and aborting pregnancies until they get what they want.
Furthermore, I am a little surprised about the doctor knowing def which baby to abort based on the sono. I realize she had a cvs so the sexes were known, but if she really reduced b/t 11-14wks is gender that obvious from a sono?
And, I can't believe she published this tale. Is she trying to help other moms who are considering reducing out of convenience? Is she advertising for using IF treatments so you can get your pick of the bunch?
Disgusting. Truly disgusting.
And as I wrote before, it would shock me to read about this family 5 yrs from now and learn they are living happily ever after. Should be interesting if/when their older child starts requesting a brother
Message edited 8/18/2010 9:21:55 AM.
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| Posted 8/18/10 9:16 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
This is one sick woman.
Disgusting.
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| Posted 8/18/10 9:27 AM |
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SecretTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 2284 total posts
Name:
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Honestly, I think she had very legitimate reasons for doing what she did. These are very personal decisions. If you cannot afford a child financially or emotionally than selective reduction is fortunately an option. I would have done the same thing in her situation. I am surprised by all of the negative posts. One baby is difficult enough that I cannot imagine managing twins with an older one. But that is just my opinion.
I did think it was weird how they said in the beginning of the article that all women going through infertility say that they don't want twins. Having gone through infertility myself and knowing many other infertile women, it seems like all of us want twins!!!
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| Posted 8/18/10 9:32 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
I am so sick right now, because I look at my boys as I type this and thank God each day for them.
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| Posted 8/18/10 9:33 AM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Posted by CrankyPants
That story did nothing to make me understand what they went through.
I don't put my beliefs on other people and I feel every person needs to make their own choices and stand by them, but I can say without a doubt that I could never abort a baby simply because we only want 1 and not 2. I just couldn't and if I am being totally honest, that story made me sick.
I can't even write my own reply but I'm sitting at my desk so disturbed right now. ITA with everything above.
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| Posted 8/18/10 9:37 AM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Posted by SecretTTCer
Honestly, I think she had very legitimate reasons for doing what she did. These are very personal decisions. If you cannot afford a child financially or emotionally than selective reduction is fortunately an option. I would have done the same thing in her situation. I am surprised by all of the negative posts. One baby is difficult enough that I cannot imagine managing twins with an older one. But that is just my opinion.
I did think it was weird how they said in the beginning of the article that all women going through infertility say that they don't want twins. Having gone through infertility myself and knowing many other infertile women, it seems like all of us want twins!!!
When you go for fertility treatments you KNOW multiples are an option. If you can't handle that fact stay home!
If you can afford fertility treatments you should be able to have the offspring that comes with those treatments.
This woman is a disgusting vile being.
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| Posted 8/18/10 9:38 AM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction
Posted by SweetTooth
I am pro-choice myself, but do not agree with this woman's choice at all.
I think it was completely selfish. She did fertility treatments, and anyone doing fertility treatments knows there is a chance for multiples.
She KNEW this, but instead of doing the 1 embryo transfer like her dr. suggested, she did an IUI with four follicles. Yes, the chances were slim, but they were still there.
If she didn't want twins, then she shouldn't have done the procedure (the IUI). Or she could have done unmedicated IUI.
This wasn't an accident, and there was no danger to either the mother or the babies. This was purely a case of "I don't want two."
Maybe I am more sensitive to it because I have twins - through the same procedure. I KNEW going into it that it was a possibility, and we prepared ourselves for that.
I agree with Lauren 1 MILLION PERCENT
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| Posted 8/18/10 9:41 AM |
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