One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

I'm sure this will stir some controversy but she put it out there for the world to read. I read it and thought about it a lot. I am pro choice all the way and it was her decision for sure but I can't imagine ever getting rid of the thoughts and feelings she had about choosing one over the other. I don't think I could ever make the choice. I would deal with the hardships once the babies arrived.

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Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

That story did nothing to make me understand what they went through.

I don't put my beliefs on other people and I feel every person needs to make their own choices and stand by them, but I can say without a doubt that I could never abort a baby simply because we only want 1 and not 2. I just couldn't and if I am being totally honest, that story made me sick.

I feel compassion for them because they are human beings, but the story made me nauseous and I cannot believe they went through with it-though I am not naive enough to think there aren't other people out there who have made the same choice in the same situation.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

Really disturbing story. I'm pro-choice all the way, but personally, I could never do what she did; particularly after already having a child, knowing what that fetus would turn into, I couldn't eliminate it for the reasons they did. And the part where they actually selected ONE fetus based on its gender - there is just something so unsettling about it.

But, I suppose that's the purpose of pro-choice - allowing everyone to make their own decisions about their bodies and families, for whatever reason

Message edited 8/17/2010 10:27:57 AM.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

very disturbing story

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

Posted by CrankyPants

That story did nothing to make me understand what they went through.

I don't put my beliefs on other people and I feel every person needs to make their own choices and stand by them, but I can say without a doubt that I could never abort a baby simply because we only want 1 and not 2. I just couldn't and if I am being totally honest, that story made me sick.

I feel compassion for them because they are human beings, but the story made me nauseous and I cannot believe they went through with it-though I am not naive enough to think there aren't other people out there who have made the same choice in the same situation.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

I dont know why I am so hormonal but I have big fat tears running down my face and that picture just kills me of the baby with his arm around the lost twin. My husband is a twin so maybe that is why its hitting home with me.

Such an awful choice to make and not the decision I would have made especially with it being a second pregnancy and knowing what that tiny little speck on the screen could turn into.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

What bothered me most is that I felt like they HAD the money for it, but thought oh, we'd have to move to a lesser neighborhood, or fire the nanny, and it's not worth it.

To me, if you TTC, ESP. with IVF, you need to be prepared for twins. If you aren't prepared, IMO you shouldn't do it. This wasn't an unplanned PG, this was carefully calculated...

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

I shouldn't have read that article. I have tears streaming down my face. I just don't understand why someone would do this, no less write it for all to see. I don't understand her or her husband's rationalizations. It actually makes me angry.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

Posted by Marbo

Posted by CrankyPants

That story did nothing to make me understand what they went through.

I don't put my beliefs on other people and I feel every person needs to make their own choices and stand by them, but I can say without a doubt that I could never abort a baby simply because we only want 1 and not 2. I just couldn't and if I am being totally honest, that story made me sick.

I feel compassion for them because they are human beings, but the story made me nauseous and I cannot believe they went through with it-though I am not naive enough to think there aren't other people out there who have made the same choice in the same situation.

ITA

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

That story made me cry. When I found out I was having twins I was horrified. Granted, mine were naturally conceived, but the thought of getting rid of one of them is beyond my imagination. I couldn't believe that I was going to have 3 kids under 2. But I look at my twins right now and I can't imagine one without the other.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

I kind of had all the same feelings and I felt somewhat angry at her husband. I felt like had the decision been solely left up to her she would have kept them both but it's like he made her stick to the plan of "no twins". I am curious if she feels any kind of resentment.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

horrible.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

While Im pro-choice, so I would not impose my personal belief for myself that I would never abort a child...ever.

Their reasoning for it....I find personally disturbing. It angers me not bc they had a reduction but for their reasoning for it. Also bc they seem to have gone into the whole thing blindly without asking questions, without being responsible and educating themselves....they went into it with a very blase attitude and it seems with the husband kicking and screaming.

First of all, they actively TRIED to get pregnant and they did, albeit with twins.

I understand more in cases where several eggs are implanted and say 3 or 4 take.....OK, I get not wanting that many kids at once, and the risks involved. Totally reasonable.

With this couple specifically, it just seemed so calculated and for all the wrong reasons. Then again, Im not them, so they could be very valid reasons that I dont need to understand since its not my life or my child.

If the were destitute, Id be more understanding but it seems their idea of not being able to afford an extra child was bc theyd have to give up vacations, private school for (gasp) public school and other luxuries not bc they wouldnt be able to put food on the table.

Not to mention, her husband seemed to talk her into have a reduction bc he didnt want a second child in the first place.....he just came off as an @ss.

To each his own I guess.

Message edited 8/17/2010 11:06:27 AM.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

This is just my opinion, of course, but that made me want to throw up. I just can't understand how someone could kill a perfectly healthy child because of laziness or selfishness. I don't know how she can look her son in the face and know that she could've potentially given him a brother - a best buddy for life - but she killed him instead.

Maybe it just hit a sore spot for me, but my God, ...

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

That is quite a story, i cannot even imagine doing that...it would haunt me for the rest of my life about that little boy and what he could have been...my DH and i would have scarificed everything for both...reduction would NEVER be a thought!

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

I have tears running down my face. Wish I wouldn't have read that.
When we got PG, we thought there was a strong possibility of twins as there are quite a few sets on both sides of our families. We were nervous and couldn't fathom how we would do it, but we knew that we would.

I always say I'm pro-choice, but reading stories about it now that I've had DD, I can't imagine.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

I am obviously in the minority here - but I didn't think her story was horrible.

Although you don't agree with her final decision, did you really not see that she was conflicted and guilt ridden and it was obviously not an 'easy' decision for her?? If you read the article you read how she dreamed of the baby she worried how it would affect the other baby - she DID think about the brother she wouldn't be giving her son, etc etc -

It wasn't at ALL (from what I read) like - "Nah, we don't want two, just get rid of one ok?" .........

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

i was actually faced with Selective reduction myself

not many people knew, but i originally got pregnant after IVF with Triplets.
so the first time i went to my perinatologist, he automatically said this is not good reason being, baby B's egg split, and the one that split was much smaller. he said that we should think about reducing to 2.
my body could not physically handle it, especially because i have incompetent cervix on top of that.
now i would NEVER reduce twins to one...
but then when i was faced with triplets and baby C was alrleady not looking good.. i was going to reduce
however, god had other plans and baby C didn't make it by the next appt.
i hate saying this, but glald it happened that way, so i didnt have to go through that.
i was so distraught over that time.. it was awful, and to have 2 losses already it just really damaged me

but the point is.. some people i really feel that they don't have a choice.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

Posted by MetsGirl07

i was actually faced with Selective reduction myself

not many people knew, but i originally got pregnant after IVF with Triplets.
so the first time i went to my perinatologist, he automatically said this is not good reason being, baby B's egg split, and the one that split was much smaller. he said that we should think about reducing to 2.
my body could not physically handle it, especially because i have incompetent cervix on top of that.
now i would NEVER reduce twins to one...
but then when i was faced with triplets and baby C was alrleady not looking good.. i was going to reduce
however, god had other plans and baby C didn't make it by the next appt.
i hate saying this, but glald it happened that way, so i didnt have to go through that.
i was so distraught over that time.. it was awful, and to have 2 losses already it just really damaged me

but the point is.. some people i really feel that they don't have a choice.

Re: One Woman's Story on Selective Reduction

Posted by MetsGirl07

i was actually faced with Selective reduction myself

not many people knew, but i originally got pregnant after IVF with Triplets.
so the first time i went to my perinatologist, he automatically said this is not good reason being, baby B's egg split, and the one that split was much smaller. he said that we should think about reducing to 2.
my body could not physically handle it, especially because i have incompetent cervix on top of that.
now i would NEVER reduce twins to one...
but then when i was faced with triplets and baby C was alrleady not looking good.. i was going to reduce
however, god had other plans and baby C didn't make it by the next appt.
i hate saying this, but glald it happened that way, so i didnt have to go through that.
i was so distraught over that time.. it was awful, and to have 2 losses already it just really damaged me

but the point is.. some people i really feel that they don't have a choice.