| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 |
gottaluvmusik
Just the 4 of us
Member since 12/06 3554 total posts
Name:
Andrea
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
My dh moved in with me and my parents 6 months before. He had to get used to them. We knew we didnt want to buy a house until I settled into my career and it worked to live with them.
|
Posted 4/7/08 11:04 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
nymommy2be
I love the summer
Member since 1/06 2063 total posts
Name:
Kara
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We lived together for years before getting married. There weren't any hurdles.
|
| Posted 4/7/08 11:09 PM |
| |
|
HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We dated for 6 years before moving in together. We then lived together for alittle over 2 years before we got married.
I'd say one of the hardest things about living together is living with the other person's mess. It's one thing when you're sloppy but when it's someone else making the mess, ugh, it's annoying.
|
| Posted 4/7/08 11:16 PM |
| |
|
Matteos-mommy
Can't believe I'm 2
Member since 12/07 1260 total posts
Name:
L.
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We dated off and on for 4 years prior to living together and got married a year and a half later. We are now approaching our 2nd anniversary. There are still hurdles....things change and you have to adjust. We have an infant so that definitely puts a spin on things. As far as our parents go.....my parents were fine with it. They felt I was old enough as it wasn't like I just graduated from high school.
|
| Posted 4/7/08 11:41 PM |
| |
|
july06bride
I'm a mom!
Member since 5/05 3966 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We lived together in a condo DH bought after dating 4 years. Then 1 year later we got engaged. We bought our house about and then we were married a short time after.
Best decision we could have ever made. Living with someone is very different from dating and I am glad we did.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 7:02 AM |
| |
|
GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We did NOT live together until we got married. DH wanted to but I just don't believe in it and honestly, i truly believe it was the only reason he proposed when he did instead of just moving in with me and waiting it out.
Honestly, we had a rough month in the beginning. One month, thats it. Right now everything is perfect and I have never been happier.
It took some time getting used to how he likes to do things and how I like to do things BUT being with him for TEN years I knew what I was getting myself into 
Good Luck with your decision, its not an easy one!
|
| Posted 4/8/08 7:38 AM |
| |
|
Shorty
.
Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
Posted by donegal419
We did not live together more getting engaged or married. DH moved into our apartment about 3 months before the wedding and I moved in my things before the wedding and myself after the honeymoon!
For me, that was what I wanted to do. i am traditional like that and really felt that being married would not feel as special as it did by living together before hand. it also strengthened our relationship and made us look so much more forward to our wedding and our home together. we've had no problems.
same.
Our first night together in our own place was the wedding night.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 7:54 AM |
| |
|
NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
DH and I had been dating about 6 or so months when we decided to move in together, there weren't any major issues. We did have to get used to sharing space in a REALLY small apt.
We also bought a house together before we got engaged, again there were no major issues... although we did have a few good arguments during the home buying experience. Every couple is going to argue at some point, you just have to be fair and be willing to give each other needed space.
I know not every couple feels comfortable moving in together, buying a house together before the commitment of marriage, but that is a personal decision, that can only be made by the two of you. I did get some flak (most jokingly) from family - my Aunt liked to remind me, we were supposed to get 'married' not 'mortgaged'
Suprisingly my parents are pretty traditional (but I was also 30 when I moved in with DH and I had never chosen to live with a BF in the past) they had no qualms when we told them we were going to buy a house, my father actually was our mortgage broker 
|
| Posted 4/8/08 7:58 AM |
| |
|
LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
Posted by Goldi0218
Dh and I onlymoved in with each other when the ring was on my finger. At the age I was when we got engaged, I needed more than a "maybe" to make a major change. I had more to lose if it didn't work out.
Ditto.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 8:10 AM |
| |
|
JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We did- and I totally reccomend it. You never know the real person your dealing with until you live with them.
Thankfully DH is pretty easy to live with- so there were no major hurdles here.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 8:42 AM |
| |
|
lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
Posted by Shorty
Posted by donegal419
We did not live together more getting engaged or married. DH moved into our apartment about 3 months before the wedding and I moved in my things before the wedding and myself after the honeymoon!
For me, that was what I wanted to do. i am traditional like that and really felt that being married would not feel as special as it did by living together before hand. it also strengthened our relationship and made us look so much more forward to our wedding and our home together. we've had no problems.
same.
Our first night together in our own place was the wedding night.
Same Here as well. We lived 10 mins apart. No reason to move in together. We saw each other every night and were able to save money for the wedding, honeymoon, and our first apartment.
We had our apartment in September, but, used that month to set it up and get things done. Got married in October and our first night in it was the night we arrived home from our honeymoon. It was great to come home from our honeymoon and have no work to do on the apt. at all. It was all done.,
Another reason we didn't move in together is, honestly, I really didn't believe in it. I remember when my cousin said to my parents "yeah, we are moving in together...you have to test drive a car before you buy it"..Well, now, they are divorced.
I can see both sides, but, this was just how DH and I are.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 8:52 AM |
| |
|
luckystars3
2015
Member since 11/07 2378 total posts
Name:
Julie
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
we lived together as well and I think it was the best thing we ever did as well b/c then we learned eachothers ways of doing things around the house and the way we were brought up. I am so glad we did before we got engaged.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 8:54 AM |
| |
|
Chrisnamy
Summer is coming soon
Member since 1/07 3991 total posts
Name:
Amy
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
I didn't move in until after we were engaged and I sold my house.
It was about 3-1/2 months before the acutal Wedding date.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 9:17 AM |
| |
|
KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We've been together for 5 years, engaged for almost 2 (finally getting married in Oct.!) and living together for just over 3 years.
I had never lived with a guys before... not to mention that FH grew up upstate so coming down to LI was a HUGE change for him to adjust to... I would say it took us about a year to finally adjust to living together and learning each others little quirks and odd behind-closed-doors behavoir.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 9:53 AM |
| |
|
freckles
Love My Little Man!
Member since 5/07 1825 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We dated for five years when we moved in together, got engaged after 8 months of living together.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 12:05 PM |
| |
|
Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
Posted by lvdolphins
Posted by Shorty
Posted by donegal419
We did not live together more getting engaged or married. DH moved into our apartment about 3 months before the wedding and I moved in my things before the wedding and myself after the honeymoon!
For me, that was what I wanted to do. i am traditional like that and really felt that being married would not feel as special as it did by living together before hand. it also strengthened our relationship and made us look so much more forward to our wedding and our home together. we've had no problems.
same.
Our first night together in our own place was the wedding night.
Same Here as well. We lived 10 mins apart. No reason to move in together. We saw each other every night and were able to save money for the wedding, honeymoon, and our first apartment.
We had our apartment in September, but, used that month to set it up and get things done. Got married in October and our first night in it was the night we arrived home from our honeymoon. It was great to come home from our honeymoon and have no work to do on the apt. at all. It was all done.,
Another reason we didn't move in together is, honestly, I really didn't believe in it. I remember when my cousin said to my parents "yeah, we are moving in together...you have to test drive a car before you buy it"..Well, now, they are divorced.
I can see both sides, but, this was just how DH and I are.
Same here. DH and I spent our first night in our apartment when we returned from our honeymoon. During our 2+ year engagement, I was living on Staten Island with my parents, and going to grad school, and he was living on LI with his parents. For us, it was the right move. We were able to save up money, and it was so special to start living together as husband and wife.
I have had so many friends who lived together before marriage say that nothing really felt different after they got married. For us, our lives were totally different, and amazing, and I wouldn't have traded that feeling for the world.
I know a lot of people say that you have to live together before marriage in order to know what it's going to be like, but there were really no surprises for me.
Every couple has to do what's right for them. I am a very traditional person in this aspect of my life, but I respect those who choose to live together as well, whether it's out of preference or convenience.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 12:12 PM |
| |
|
JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We moved in together about 6-7 months before our wedding. After 7 yrs of being together the only hurdle we had was, who was getting the remote.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 12:14 PM |
| |
|
sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We dated for 2 years then got an apartment together. Lived together for 6 months before we got engaged. 6 months after that we bought a house.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 12:41 PM |
| |
|
dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
We didn't. I didn't want to, and I don't think DH cared either way. I was older too and had lived alone for a long time. I wasn't willing to give up my space and freedom until I was a married person. I loved living alone and to me, it was only worth giving up if I was getting married. I have lived with LOTS of roommates over the years and wasn't interested in having another one.
Also, I know people say that you really don't know someone until you live with them. My perspective is that I loved this guy so much that I couldn't see the day to day annoyances being enough to break up the marriage. To me, the living together part is all about compromise and again, something I was willing to do once I was married, but not before.
|
| Posted 4/8/08 12:56 PM |
| |
|
Arissa444
Lovin my Little guy :)
Member since 5/06 2280 total posts
Name:
Marissa
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
I just want to thank you all for your insight and opinions!! Means a lot that so many of you have shared your stories and opinions  Gave us more insight as to things to think about  Still trying to figure this all out But all good things take time and we are optimistic about whatever the future may hold Thanks again
|
| Posted 4/9/08 10:55 AM |
| |
|
LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
I lived with someone before I met my DH and it was fun at first but then went bad. I am glad we did it because we realized we are better off as friends.
|
| Posted 4/9/08 11:06 AM |
| |
|
CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
I dunno know, here is my experience:
I dated someone for 5 years, we moved in together after 5 years and then broke up about a year later. I was glad we lived together otherwise we probably would have gotten married (and possibly divorced!) There were no other women/men, issues. Just stuff that came up once we lived together (money, bills, day to day living).
I lived with DH for almost 6 months before we became engaged-though I had said I wouldn't stay more than 6 months unless we were engaged, because what was the point. This was either going somewhere or not and by then, if we couldn't live together it would have come up.
|
| Posted 4/9/08 11:16 AM |
| |
|
Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
let's see if my old feeble senile mind can remember this:
We were together for 6 years, then moved in together for 2 ish years and got engaged. Got married at 9 years.
I am happy we did.
The first year was still pretty difficult even though we were married.
You have to manage expectations.
|
| Posted 4/9/08 11:22 AM |
| |
|
melbalalala
Little Lady
Member since 5/07 5015 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
I am a firm believer in testing the waters before you get married.
I thought I was going to marry my ex but realized when I moved in with him it wasn't meant to be. So I definitely moved in with DH before we were married and it was PERFECT.
You don't really know a person until you live with them...
|
| Posted 4/9/08 11:40 AM |
| |
|
MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Living together before married/engaged?
DH and I lived together for appx 5 years before we got married. One of the major hurdles was just trying to get used to each other's ways. I am a neat/clean freak and DH is disorganized and a mess maker. It was tough to "accept" each other's ways, but you really have to look at what is on the inside of the person and why you really fell in love with them to begin with. Everything else will eventually fall into place.
|
| Posted 4/9/08 12:03 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 |
