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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Getting help for depression could hurt brand, but suicide is ok?
I read today (unsure if true) that her husband left her and they were getting a divorce after 24 years of marriage. He already had an apt nearby.
As someone who is going through divorce myself and have felt the lowest of low, I could never leave my son - he is the one thing that has kept me going, my strength and light through it all.
It just shows mental illness there are no answers - you can't say what make sense in their mind because at that moment, heck at most moments they're not thinking clearly at all - with anything.
My heart goes out to her daughter.
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Posted 6/6/18 1:23 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Posted by HeyJude
Just horrible, I feel so bad for her daughter and husband. I read an article from People that the sister hasn't talked to Kate in 10 years, so she probably doesn't have that much insight into what was happening, just someone jumping into the spot light -terrible.
yeah this is what the news has been reporting. Before knowing that, I really didn't like the statement the sister put out. Didn't like the tone. It almost sounded bitter to me.
Than hearing they were estranged. The tone made more sense. Still didn't like that she released a statement so quickly discussing her health.
I can't imagine how the husband is feeling right now after Kate's statement of "ask your father" in the letter.
So sad all around. Obviously for her family. But for Kate as well. That she thought this was the only answer. Writing a letter to your child like that and still going through with it. Such darkness  
edited to clarify somethings.
Message edited 6/6/2018 2:22:36 PM.
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| Posted 6/6/18 2:10 PM |
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shadows
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 4694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Posted by HeyJude
Just horrible, I feel so bad for her daughter and husband. I read an article from People that the sister hasn't talked to Kate in 10 years, so she probably doesn't have that much insight into what was happening, just someone jumping into the spot light -terrible.
Oh wow. It’s funny because when I read the sister’s quotes in one article, I thought they were really odd and did not sound like the sentiments of someone who just lost a sibling. She was also quoted as saying she will miss their hours-long phone calls across the country. But I guess that’s BS if they were estranged. People always seem to come out of the woodwork after a tragedy, esp when it’s a famous person 
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| Posted 6/6/18 2:26 PM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
The responses alone on this thread show how stigmatizing mental illness is, and how little it is regarded by people because people who struggle with mental illness "should just push through."
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| Posted 6/6/18 3:15 PM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Posted by mrsrainbow
The responses alone on this thread show how stigmatizing mental illness is, and how little it is regarded by people because people who struggle with mental illness "should just push through."
This. Suicidal people are not rational. Of course no rational person would ever willingly leave behind their child. I remember reading an article when Robin Williams died. It was written by someone who also suffered from depression. It really stuck with me, I actually still had it book marked. Here are a few excerpts.
"There is a sadness in these people that the rest of us will never understand. We can sympathize, and even empathize to a small degree, but we will never truly understand the sadness that dwells in their hearts and takes over their spirit every second of their lives."
They cannot even see happiness.
They don't see it in their future. They can't see that they've ever had it in their past. They remember every slight. Every disappointment. Every harsh word said, real or imagined.
But what they do not imagine, or see, or foresee, is happiness.
They do not believe they are loved. They do not believe they have ever been loved, or ever will be loved. You can ask them "What about today when..." and they will insist that whatever display of love or affection you're referring to was purely pretense. It was not real.
People are not truly happy.
People do not genuinely love.
There is no happiness in the world.
It's all a show.
Put yourself there. Imagine being in a world where heart-wrenching sadness is constant, happiness a pipe dream, and people only pretend to love you.
Who would want to live in that world?
I'm not saying suicide is OK. As a survivor of suicide, I am here to state that it is absolutely not okay.
I am also here to say I understand, from the viewpoint of hopelessness, how a person can see it as the answer. I can understand it.
The thing is, if they can get through the depressive phase, their thinking will return to 'normal.' They will see happiness again. They will feel the love around them again. They will see hope again.
IF they get through that phase.
And this is why I found myself crying at the death of Robin Williams. Not because he was 'somebody' to me. Not because I imagine his death will impact my life in any real or permanent way. No. I cried because he was in that place.
He couldn't see the love that anyone had for him.
He couldn't imagine a world in which happiness exists.
He couldn't see that any good had ever befallen or would befall him.
He couldn't see it. It didn't exist in his ill mind.
That breaks my heart like almost nothing else can. This was a human who could not see that he was loved and adored and cherished. He was incapable of seeing the love that surrounded him.
To me, there is no sadder thing a human could suffer than to die feeling unloved.
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| Posted 6/6/18 5:04 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11489 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Posted by mrsrainbow
The responses alone on this thread show how stigmatizing mental illness is, and how little it is regarded by people because people who struggle with mental illness "should just push through."
Thank you for saying this.You (collective) cannot just push through it. When someone is depressed, they often can simply not get out of bed. Taking a shower can also be a difficult task. Eating can be as well. I’m not ashamed to admit that this has happened to me. I got help and it worked. Half the battle is actually getting yourself to the doctor.
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| Posted 6/6/18 5:30 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Statement from her husband :
Kate was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was the kindest person I’ve ever known and my best friend for 35 years. My daughter and I are devastated by her loss, and can’t even begin to fathom life without her. We are deeply heartbroken and miss her already.
Kate suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. She was actively seeking help and working closely with her doctors to treat her disease, one that takes far too many lives. We were in touch with her the night before and she sounded happy. There was no indication and no warning that she would do this. It was a complete shock. And it clearly wasn’t her. There were personal demons she was battling.
For the past 10 months we had been living separately, but within a few blocks of each other. Bea was living with both of us and we saw each other or spoke every day. We ate many meals together as a family and continued to vacation together as a family. Our daughter was our priority. We were not legally separated, and never even discussed divorce. We were best friends trying to work through our problems in the best way we knew how. We were together for 35 years. We loved each other very much and simply needed a break.
This is the truth. Anything else that is out there right now is false. She was actively seeking help for depression and anxiety over the last 5 years, seeing a doctor on a regular basis and taking medication for both depression and anxiety. There was no substance or alcohol abuse. There were no business problems. We loved creating our businesses together. We were co-parenting our beautiful daughter. I have yet to see any note left behind and am appalled that a private message to my daughter has been so heartlessly shared with the media.
My main concern is Bea and protecting her privacy as she deals with the unimaginable grief of losing her mother. Kate loved Bea so very much.
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| Posted 6/6/18 7:53 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Posted by MsSissy
Statement from her husband :
Kate was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was the kindest person I’ve ever known and my best friend for 35 years. My daughter and I are devastated by her loss, and can’t even begin to fathom life without her. We are deeply heartbroken and miss her already.
Kate suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. She was actively seeking help and working closely with her doctors to treat her disease, one that takes far too many lives. We were in touch with her the night before and she sounded happy. There was no indication and no warning that she would do this. It was a complete shock. And it clearly wasn’t her. There were personal demons she was battling.
For the past 10 months we had been living separately, but within a few blocks of each other. Bea was living with both of us and we saw each other or spoke every day. We ate many meals together as a family and continued to vacation together as a family. Our daughter was our priority. We were not legally separated, and never even discussed divorce. We were best friends trying to work through our problems in the best way we knew how. We were together for 35 years. We loved each other very much and simply needed a break.
This is the truth. Anything else that is out there right now is false. She was actively seeking help for depression and anxiety over the last 5 years, seeing a doctor on a regular basis and taking medication for both depression and anxiety. There was no substance or alcohol abuse. There were no business problems. We loved creating our businesses together. We were co-parenting our beautiful daughter. I have yet to see any note left behind and am appalled that a private message to my daughter has been so heartlessly shared with the media.
My main concern is Bea and protecting her privacy as she deals with the unimaginable grief of losing her mother. Kate loved Bea so very much.
Sad
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| Posted 6/6/18 8:12 PM |
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Laura1976
Member since 5/05 5754 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Posted by MsSissy
Statement from her husband :
Kate was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was the kindest person I’ve ever known and my best friend for 35 years. My daughter and I are devastated by her loss, and can’t even begin to fathom life without her. We are deeply heartbroken and miss her already.
Kate suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. She was actively seeking help and working closely with her doctors to treat her disease, one that takes far too many lives. We were in touch with her the night before and she sounded happy. There was no indication and no warning that she would do this. It was a complete shock. And it clearly wasn’t her. There were personal demons she was battling.
For the past 10 months we had been living separately, but within a few blocks of each other. Bea was living with both of us and we saw each other or spoke every day. We ate many meals together as a family and continued to vacation together as a family. Our daughter was our priority. We were not legally separated, and never even discussed divorce. We were best friends trying to work through our problems in the best way we knew how. We were together for 35 years. We loved each other very much and simply needed a break.
This is the truth. Anything else that is out there right now is false. She was actively seeking help for depression and anxiety over the last 5 years, seeing a doctor on a regular basis and taking medication for both depression and anxiety. There was no substance or alcohol abuse. There were no business problems. We loved creating our businesses together. We were co-parenting our beautiful daughter. I have yet to see any note left behind and am appalled that a private message to my daughter has been so heartlessly shared with the media.
My main concern is Bea and protecting her privacy as she deals with the unimaginable grief of losing her mother. Kate loved Bea so very much.
devastating.
so sad he has to contend with the media and defuse gossip at a time like this.
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| Posted 6/7/18 10:18 AM |
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StaceyLu
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/17 572 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Posted by mrsrainbow
The responses alone on this thread show how stigmatizing mental illness is, and how little it is regarded by people because people who struggle with mental illness "should just push through."
Depression is a liar. It tells you things that aren't true and you believe them. It puts a bag over your head and you can't breathe. It pins you down and you can't move. No motivational words can pull you up out of it when it is clinical and severe. No rational person would choose to leave their child, but somebody who felt as though they couldn't move or breathe and their head was filled with loud ugly thoughts that they couldn't escape from might. I hope that the tragedy of her death will help to even shed a little bit of light on the non-discrimination of depression on class, race, fortune and how serious it is.
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| Posted 6/7/18 10:50 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Depression is scary. I was on medication a few years ago that caused minor depression. Everyone knows that I am basically always happy, and always in control of my moods. On that medication, I had no control over how I felt, and the feelings were really hard to deal with.
Luckily, I recognized what was going on, I was able to stop the medication, and it was no where near the severe depression that many people deal with daily. However, it was enough for me to start to understand first-hand what depression really is, how much it takes over, and how you have no control over it.
People who have never had depression will never truly understand. Even with the depression that I had, I will never truly understand what people go through every day with severe depression.
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| Posted 6/7/18 11:17 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
I think the main thing here is that depression is not a choice.
It's not just a bad mood, or the person having a bad or negative attitude about things.
It's not something you can just get over or look on the bright side, or look at all the positives in your life or all those other cliche positive affirmations I see on facebook.
Of course nobody who was in a right frame of mind would consider suicide. Of course we wouldn't want to leave a child behind to pick up the pieces.
So you have to think about how bad it must be for depression to lead you there.
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| Posted 6/7/18 12:28 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Mental illness is not orderly or logical. It's their reality. She was not reasoning that she was leaving behind her daughter - she likely felt her daughter was better off without her. She was not reasoning that getting help for mental illness would be bad for her brand, but suicide would be ok - she likely felt there was no other option. She was not able to understand that there could have been help for her to overcome her hardship.
It's really hard to understand and not judge. We have to accept that her brain was not working the way it should have been. It was out of her control in many ways. We will never truly understand or accept why she did this. The entire situation is just incredibly sad. The only thing we can do is try to be more supportive so as a society people are more willing to step forward and seek the help they need.
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| Posted 6/7/18 1:40 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by MsSissy
Statement from her husband :
Kate was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was the kindest person I’ve ever known and my best friend for 35 years. My daughter and I are devastated by her loss, and can’t even begin to fathom life without her. We are deeply heartbroken and miss her already.
Kate suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. She was actively seeking help and working closely with her doctors to treat her disease, one that takes far too many lives. We were in touch with her the night before and she sounded happy. There was no indication and no warning that she would do this. It was a complete shock. And it clearly wasn’t her. There were personal demons she was battling.
For the past 10 months we had been living separately, but within a few blocks of each other. Bea was living with both of us and we saw each other or spoke every day. We ate many meals together as a family and continued to vacation together as a family. Our daughter was our priority. We were not legally separated, and never even discussed divorce. We were best friends trying to work through our problems in the best way we knew how. We were together for 35 years. We loved each other very much and simply needed a break.
This is the truth. Anything else that is out there right now is false. She was actively seeking help for depression and anxiety over the last 5 years, seeing a doctor on a regular basis and taking medication for both depression and anxiety. There was no substance or alcohol abuse. There were no business problems. We loved creating our businesses together. We were co-parenting our beautiful daughter. I have yet to see any note left behind and am appalled that a private message to my daughter has been so heartlessly shared with the media.
My main concern is Bea and protecting her privacy as she deals with the unimaginable grief of losing her mother. Kate loved Bea so very much.
devastating.
so sad he has to contend with the media and defuse gossip at a time like this.
Their apartment building isn't far from me. I walked past the block a few times and the media is set up outside just waiting for him to come out 
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| Posted 6/7/18 1:48 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Kate Spade Suicide
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by MsSissy
Statement from her husband :
Kate was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was the kindest person I’ve ever known and my best friend for 35 years. My daughter and I are devastated by her loss, and can’t even begin to fathom life without her. We are deeply heartbroken and miss her already.
Kate suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. She was actively seeking help and working closely with her doctors to treat her disease, one that takes far too many lives. We were in touch with her the night before and she sounded happy. There was no indication and no warning that she would do this. It was a complete shock. And it clearly wasn’t her. There were personal demons she was battling.
For the past 10 months we had been living separately, but within a few blocks of each other. Bea was living with both of us and we saw each other or spoke every day. We ate many meals together as a family and continued to vacation together as a family. Our daughter was our priority. We were not legally separated, and never even discussed divorce. We were best friends trying to work through our problems in the best way we knew how. We were together for 35 years. We loved each other very much and simply needed a break.
This is the truth. Anything else that is out there right now is false. She was actively seeking help for depression and anxiety over the last 5 years, seeing a doctor on a regular basis and taking medication for both depression and anxiety. There was no substance or alcohol abuse. There were no business problems. We loved creating our businesses together. We were co-parenting our beautiful daughter. I have yet to see any note left behind and am appalled that a private message to my daughter has been so heartlessly shared with the media.
My main concern is Bea and protecting her privacy as she deals with the unimaginable grief of losing her mother. Kate loved Bea so very much.
devastating.
so sad he has to contend with the media and defuse gossip at a time like this.
Their apartment building isn't far from me. I walked past the block a few times and the media is set up outside just waiting for him to come out
The media is just gross.
Sickening
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| Posted 6/7/18 2:20 PM |
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