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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
Posted by Blu-ize
oh I know this. My brother had issues way before this and needed medication years ago. he became an alcoholic and was terrible to deal with. My dad has a very hard time dealing with it. Granted, there were not how to manuals to deal with this, but at one point he refused to even consider counseling. It's as if he is saying, well I don't need this crap, and others have to change and I don't. Everyone's life has changed. Nobody is happy about it.
I don't mean to bash my dad this way. I love him and I am a daddy's girl, but I know my limits and I'm at it now.
I certainly didn't take it that you were bashing your dad. You're just venting and have every right to do so.
Many  that the counseling can help your dad adjust and deal with the situation. And again...BOOK that getaway for yourself!!!
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Posted 1/3/08 12:15 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
I seriously cannot imagine going through all you have. Seriously.
Can I say seriously again??
If need be, take that spa weekend a go ALONE since this seems to be what you need. Just having that time away from everyone will be good for you.
Hang in there and try to remember what doesn't kill us, can only make us stronger.
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| Posted 1/3/08 12:19 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
I don't think ANYONE here thinks you are bashing your dad or anyone else. It's so incredibly clear to us all how much you love and care about your family. I'm so sorry for all you are going through. If I were you, I wouldn't be having a mini meltdown, I'd be having a huge, fullblown, mega meltdown.
You show tremendous poise through all of this. You have every right to feel the way you do, and I just hope your family sees that they need to step it up to help you out. While you may be superwoman  you can't do it all, nor should you. 
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| Posted 1/3/08 12:19 PM |
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alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
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| Posted 1/3/08 12:21 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
and I've allowed it. I've let everyone just unload on me.
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| Posted 1/3/08 12:23 PM |
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Ginger123
Sooo happy
Member since 8/07 1235 total posts
Name:
dana
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
I am so sorry. I am in a similar situation and know how awful it can feel. I had a very bad panic attack 2 nights ago and I made an appt with a dr and thinking about medication.
If I were you take that spa vacation you need to recharge the battery . I am praying for you
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| Posted 1/3/08 12:23 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
Posted by Kara
I don't think ANYONE here thinks you are bashing your dad or anyone else. It's so incredibly clear to us all how much you love and care about your family. I'm so sorry for all you are going through. If I were you, I wouldn't be having a mini meltdown, I'd be having a huge, fullblown, mega meltdown.
You show tremendous poise through all of this. You have every right to feel the way you do, and I just hope your family sees that they need to step it up to help you out. While you may be superwoman you can't do it all, nor should you.
thanks for saying this. IT doesn't help that DH has told me to go back on my medication for anxiety. He brings it up whenever I get emotional. He's being an azz..people are emotional beings and I'm allowed to have mine.
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| Posted 1/3/08 12:25 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
Posted by Blu-ize
Posted by Kara
I don't think ANYONE here thinks you are bashing your dad or anyone else. It's so incredibly clear to us all how much you love and care about your family. I'm so sorry for all you are going through. If I were you, I wouldn't be having a mini meltdown, I'd be having a huge, fullblown, mega meltdown.
You show tremendous poise through all of this. You have every right to feel the way you do, and I just hope your family sees that they need to step it up to help you out. While you may be superwoman you can't do it all, nor should you.
thanks for saying this. IT doesn't help that DH has told me to go back on my medication for anxiety. He brings it up whenever I get emotional. He's being an azz..people are emotional beings and I'm allowed to have mine.
Tell him pulling his head of out his azz would be far more beneficial than anxiety meds you don't need.
Is there anyway you could get the whole family to sit down together with a counselor and at least get all this out on the table with someone there to mediate / be impartial? It might be helpful. I think this is just one of those situations where everyone's coping mechanisms come out and sometimes those methods of coping aren't healthy (e.g., ignoring the problem, retreating, wanting to leave)...
I just wish there was something I could do other than pray for you guys.
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| Posted 1/3/08 12:32 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
Hey Susan!
Sorry to be reading all of this ...yikes!
From a Social work standpoint...heres a few things...
what your dad said he probably means in a VERY emotional way. I agree...he didnt sign up for it and now he has to grieve what he thought he once had...a whole different life where it was just your mom and him in AZ working a great job. The norm is you raise your kids, they move out, get married, have children of their own, and you become grandparents. His world flipped upside down. Thats not to say that you cant get what YOU need. You certainly as a sibling dont need the brunt of everything lying on your shoulders.
Is it possible for the social worker to hook him up with outside services? respite care, 1:1 etc?? Your brother sounds like he is giving you guys a hard time without even looking at the disability aspect of it. He has every right to be angry bc ...YES...this sux.. But NO...you all cant be abused in the process. Like I said before me and dh are willing to help you guys if need be. Maybe I have some type of resource that can help you as well. You said they started counseling...how did that go?
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| Posted 1/3/08 12:42 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
Take a weekend and go away - Alone - - Don't bring anyone with you -
Go to the spa, relax and think about nothing and noone but yourself for a day or two - Concentrate on YOUR health and well being .......one or two days out of ALL this time you've dedicated to everyone around you is NOTHING - You can not keep running on empty b/c it's eventually going to catch up to you and you're going to crack - no matter how strong, caring, or poised a person is in a stressful situation, everyone has a breaking point and there is just so much one person can handle at once -
Your brother is not your responsibility alone - and your parents should be (and I'm sure they are) grateful to you for stepping up and taking such great care of him in a situation where most siblings would EXPECT their parents to carry the brunt of it - Like others have said, because you have done so much for so long, they can now lean on you as well .....Why is it that your father can't get him to shower or go to rehab, but you can? Because you have learned handle any situation that is thrown at you .......they will learn too, if they have no other choice -
Definitely go away and take some time for yourself - Even if you can't go the weekend, take a day ........just something that's all about YOU -
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| Posted 1/3/08 1:01 PM |
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
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| Posted 1/3/08 1:11 PM |
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diva7531
My Peanut
Member since 2/07 5199 total posts
Name:
Ryan 3 boys EDD 11/6!
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
I really hope your tommorow is better!
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| Posted 1/3/08 1:12 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
Posted by PrincessP
Hey Susan!
Sorry to be reading all of this ...yikes!
From a Social work standpoint...heres a few things...
what your dad said he probably means in a VERY emotional way. I agree...he didnt sign up for it and now he has to grieve what he thought he once had...a whole different life where it was just your mom and him in AZ working a great job. The norm is you raise your kids, they move out, get married, have children of their own, and you become grandparents. His world flipped upside down. Thats not to say that you cant get what YOU need. You certainly as a sibling dont need the brunt of everything lying on your shoulders.
Is it possible for the social worker to hook him up with outside services? respite care, 1:1 etc?? Your brother sounds like he is giving you guys a hard time without even looking at the disability aspect of it. He has every right to be angry bc ...YES...this sux.. But NO...you all cant be abused in the process. Like I said before me and dh are willing to help you guys if need be. Maybe I have some type of resource that can help you as well. You said they started counseling...how did that go?
they went today and so far so good. The social worker is excellent and is helping them but it's not going to be great overnight. Dad also has the added pressure of having to go back to work eventually.
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| Posted 1/3/08 1:12 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
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| Posted 1/3/08 1:13 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
Paulette, they also need to go to alanon..Dad is reluctant.
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| Posted 1/3/08 1:16 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
you have a lot on your plate. you really didn't need the cat to get sick too 
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| Posted 1/3/08 1:29 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
with the amount of stress that you've been under i'm surprised you have held up this long! you are an amazingly strong person and your family is lucky to have you there for them!
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| Posted 1/3/08 1:37 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I'm having a mini meltdown
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
you have a lot on your plate. you really didn't need the cat to get sick too
tell me about it!
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| Posted 1/3/08 1:42 PM |
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