I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

Last week it was all too much for me. Lily was crawling more than ever so I spent most of my days chasing after her (we still have not properly baby-proofed.) DH was away Monday early am-Thursday night. Lily wouldn't nap unless we were in the car or out for a walk, so I spent hours sitting in the car while she slept. (at least I brought magazines.) She was having new sleeping issues since she can now sit up in bed, but then didn't know what to do so she cried. When she did sleep, I couldn't sleep because I have way too many things on my mind. I wanted to do Barb's experiment, so I was trying to do nice things for DH, so he would come home to no clutter, a clean apartment with the laundry all done, a nice dinner when he got home. Try doing that when DD is everywhere and not napping most of the day. There was even a day when I couldn't shower because of her lack of napping. You get the picture. I ended up crying on the phone to DH Thursday morning. It came out of nowhere. I was just so overwhelmed. Thankfully DD & I had a great day at the zoo with our playgroup on Thursday, DH was amazing and helped out BIG TIME all weekend. And we did lots of fun family stuff. I was planning on going out alone, but it never happened, except for a quick trip to the grocery store. I wanted to go shopping for fall clothes. Maybe next weekend. He's away again until Thursday night. But at least it's only 3 days this week.

Anyway, thanks for letting me get this out. I feel so much better today. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to keep from getting overwhelmed like i did? I know I can't take too much on and I need to know my limits. Anything else?

Update: It seems to be going down hill. I was so hopeful that this week would be better, but here are the highlights of today:
- we go to take a walk and see some weird woman screaming expletives at a car honking at her because she was crossing with the light, but they had to wait for her to make their turn (I'm telling you - the drivers here are the worst.) she was right, but really flipped out. Lovely.
- get back from the walk, Lily has an explosive diaper, had to give her a bath. On the bright side, we were home when it happened and she needed a bath anyway.
- speak to DH before giving Lily dinner. he is sick with a nasty cold, in a hotel, can't even order room service (not available).
- Lily has been sneezing/sniffling since 2 days ago.
- i have a sore throat too.
- i miss DH like crazy.
- oh, and I tried to make a hair appt. because my really needs a cut & color, but the girl I go to no longer works on Fridays or Saturdays (the only days I can go)

In the grand scheme of life, I know these things are all minor. But I'm sad. I'm venting to you because I'm afraid if I call anyone I'll start crying. Maybe I'm PMSing. I usually don't let it all get to me, but I guess enough is enough. Could I please have some hugs? (how pitiful does that sound?)

Message edited 9/4/2007 8:41:43 PM.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown last week

im so sorry you felt this way just take 1 day at a time and dont try to do too much if it doesnt get done that day there is always tommorrow!!! Enjoy your little one these times are never promised to us everything else can wait hope this week you feel better

Re: I had a mini-meltdown last week

Sorry about your mini-meltdown.

As babybugsmum said, take it one thing/one day at a time. And whatever doesnt' get done today, will get done tomorrow, or the next day.

Sorry DH is away, but glad he was able to help when he was home!

Re: I had a mini-meltdown last week

No advice- but wanted to let you know you're not alone in this.....

Re: I had a mini-meltdown last week

Thanks, ladies. Part of the problem is that DH is great, but he has high expectations when it comes to the apartment. His mom was Superwoman, so I have big shoes to fill. I think he understands better now that I just can't do it all. We're both under lots of stress also. We're anxious to buy a house and are ready to financially, but need to wait to hear about a possible job transfer. It's frustrating because this place is too small. Hopefully we'll hear something soon.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown last week

You are not alone. I hate to complain, and I want to love ever stage this kid is in-but I won't lie, I am HATING this stage. I get zero done. I can't baby proof at all unless I pull up all the carpeting in my apt. He eats carpet fibers. I can't leave him alone for a second. I drag the pack and play all over the house.

I literally don't get a second to brush my teeth. I sat him on the floor with a toy and he threw himself back and hit his head on the floor. He's still not really eating, it all winds up on the carpet and walls. He won't play with a single toy. I went to superwalmart 3 times this week so far just to get him out. We walk a lot, but it gets too hot mid day. We are still in the upper 90's down here.

Leo doesn't travel, yet...but he works crazy long hours. The upside lately, if he's not home, my kitchen stays clean.

Josh isn't sleeping well anymore. He now stands and yells for me. I can't do CIO, its not in me. I want a new stage.

PSA for anyone who is moving away from home. Don't visit anyone for a month...no help, no company, then go on with your plans.

I am hooking up with another LIF'er to find groups...its helping a lot! Josh plays while I talk. and talk. and talk

sorry to join in on your party, your posts always seem to hit home though.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown last week

Posted by SuzyQ
We're anxious to buy a house and are ready to financially, but need to wait to hear about a possible job transfer. It's frustrating because this place is too small. Hopefully we'll hear something soon.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown last week

Posted by Janice

Posted by SuzyQ
We're anxious to buy a house and are ready to financially, but need to wait to hear about a possible job transfer. It's frustrating because this place is too small. Hopefully we'll hear something soon.

same boat completely!! I feel like what the hell are we doing here? In a stand still. Waiting to hear where we get sent next. My nursery looks terrible. waiting for the house. we have no room here.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown last week UPDATE

bumping for some hugs (pleeeeease)

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

Heres a great big <<<< >>>> and I want you to know that some days when its just me and dd I also feel like the world is falling apart. DH works a ton of hours. I love dd and we spend so many great hrs together when I am not at work but those extra hands just to help out are so needed. I know what you mean when the men are not around and you just have to do everything. I had to teach dh how to clean and do laundry etc... I couldnt take care of dd and do the household chores and work ft...its nuts! I hope you are feeling better tonite! Watch the biggest loser...its on in about 10 minutes. It might motivate me to move my post preggo butt! Fell better!

Message edited 9/4/2007 8:50:23 PM.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

Posted by PrincessP

Heres a great big <<<< >>>> and I want you to know that some days when its just me and dd I also feel like the world is falling apart. DH works a ton of hours. I love dd and we spend so many great hrs together when I am not at work but those extra hands just to help out are so needed. I know what you mean when the men are not around and you just have to do everything. I had to teach dh how to clean and do laundry etc... I couldnt take care of dd and do the household chores and work ft...its nuts! I hope you are feeling better tonite! Watch the biggest loser...its on in about 10 minutes. It might motivate me to move my post preggo butt! Fell better!

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

Sorry I didn't see this sooner...
It can be so overwhelming sometimes, vent away...
You are doing the best you can...try and take whatever time you can for yourself, whenever you can. It is a little less gloomy when you CAN get your hair done, or buy new clothes that you need, or just get out by yourself....

and feel free to ask for hugs and reassurance whenever you need. Each stage does get easier AND harder, so I know what you mean.

And one of your stress things, BABYPROOF, once I knew our tiny living room in our apartment was completely safe, we spent every minute there and nowhere else (everything else was stacked in another room and stuffed under beds)

more hugs

ETA: I am so watching the biggest loser and just finished some reeses pieces

Message edited 9/4/2007 9:07:08 PM.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

I'm glad you got all that off of your chest. I'm sorry you are going through all of this stuff. It must feel like *when it rains it pours*. I hope things start looking up soon.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

Hang in there.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

My dad traveled like your DH does when I was a kid. In my baby book there are things written like "Kate's first ear infection was when daddy was in Albany". It was my mom's revenge

You are allowed to be sad and down. You feel yucky and that doesn't help. Get a treat (I'd get ice cream, but that is why I can't lose weight ) and just try to relax

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

Posted by SuzyQ

Posted by PrincessP

Heres a great big <<<< >>>> and I want you to know that some days when its just me and dd I also feel like the world is falling apart. DH works a ton of hours. I love dd and we spend so many great hrs together when I am not at work but those extra hands just to help out are so needed. I know what you mean when the men are not around and you just have to do everything. I had to teach dh how to clean and do laundry etc... I couldnt take care of dd and do the household chores and work ft...its nuts! I hope you are feeling better tonite! Watch the biggest loser...its on in about 10 minutes. It might motivate me to move my post preggo butt! Fell better!

Thanks! I think I might go watch that or I have a chick flick I've been wanting to watch. Can I watch the Biggest Loser while eating a box of Junior Mints?

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

I am so sorry I did not see this earlier!
Im going to send you FM

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

The only thing I do to keep from melting down is go to work

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

Posted by PrincessP

LMAO...as i sit here watching biggest loser with french toasts sticks!

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

Hang in there! We've all had our share of those moments - that's what brings us together I had more than I can even remember. I do remember, in the early days, success was measured by whether or not I could get a shower that day

The most important thing in all of this is (1) to talk to your DH, like you're doing. If you feel overwhelmed, even if he's away and can't help directly, it helps bring you two together if you feel that you can vent to him and he's there to listen, and (2) take moments for yourself. Even if it's for a hot shower, a cup of tea, whatever.... you need it.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

I'm sorry
i'm having a mini meltdown today too!


HUGS

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

Thank you to all of you. You've all helped to make me feel better and you have great suggestions. I e-mailed my new mommy friends here in Chicago & got a recommendation for a new hair place, Tomorrow I'll try to get an appt. for this weekend. Maybe I'll try to get shopping too. I'm going to go watch a chick flick ("Because I Said So" I hope it's good) & eat some junior mints.

Re: I had a mini-meltdown UPDATE long sorry

I agree with mommy2bella, try baby proofing as a baby step toward getting your sanity back.

It was a great relief to be able to walk out of the room for a minute & know that they are perfectly fine.

The other thing is, and I hate to break it to you, MIL isn't Superwoman. No one is. As much as your DH may recall how spotless the house was, I'm sure he doesn't remember what it looked like when he was crawling. It's 1000 times easier to keep house when you have a toddler that will occupy himself with toys & doesnt' need constant supervision. My DH had the same illusion in the beginning. It wasn't until I left him alone that he said "I couldn't get anything done all day?!"