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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
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How would you react to this...
DH's Sister and her husband and daughter were over last night. FIL was over as well. So we got to talking about christmas eve. DH has 3 siblings and every year all the siblings take turns hosting christmas eve. This year is DH's sister's turn. Since x-mas eve is on a Sunday she has to work until 5ish. Her boss is a scrooge and won't give them the day off or close early. She works at a hair salon place. Anyways she was mentioning last night that she doesn't know how she is going to have the time to make dinner if she gets home at 5. She did ask if we could switch if we had too and DH said "yes" right away.
He didn't even turn to me and say "do you mind if we switched this year". Did he even stop to think that maybe with everything going on and us still adjusting to a new baby that we shouldn't be hosting any big family holidays yet? I just would have appreciated him asking me first. I wouldn't have said no cuz we could always cater but the point is he just quickly offered it.
DH always has a habit of answering before thinking. Like for christmas he got 2 tickets one for him and one for his mom to go see the grinch on broadway. Which was a nice thought. He got tickets for the November 4th show. I didn't know that was the date he was picking so after he made the purchase I was like "we'll be away that weekend"...so what happened was my MIL bought the other ticket from DH and took one of her grandaugthers to the show and told her that was her gift from Grandma this year. Thank God it worked out like that but he never does things without thinking first.errrrrrrr!
Message edited 11/15/2006 10:16:55 AM.
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Posted 11/15/06 10:10 AM  |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this...
If it was me, I would calmly mention it to him when you are alone and say "Next time, please consult me before offering to host something as big as that. " He will probably say OK- and that would be the end of it.
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:17 AM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
Member since 5/05 9340 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this...
I think i'll tell him tonight. I did make suggestions to SIL.
I told her she could cater it and we would get to her place early and help her DH set up or that maybe everyone could help pitch in and bring a dish.
She did say that she may just end up preparing things the night before and also that she is going to try to get out of work an hour earlier.
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:20 AM |
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LuvMy2Girls
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Mommy
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by Shellyesq
If it was me, I would calmly mention it to him when you are alone and say "Next time, please consult me before offering to host something as big as that. " He will probably say OK- and that would be the end of it.
I would do the same. Then i would contact family that is coming and ask them to bring something.
I just did this for Hanukkah. This year is our year to host, and while i didn't mind since i don't have to travel this year, it is quite tough with the baby and having to make everything. So i gave people a choice on what they can bring. I have people bringing appetizers, soup for matzoh balls, and desserts. So all i have to do is cook the main course, cook the matzoh balls, make the latkes, and veggies, instead of everything. ALL this and i am not even jewish
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:22 AM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by sweetness
Posted by Shellyesq
If it was me, I would calmly mention it to him when you are alone and say "Next time, please consult me before offering to host something as big as that. " He will probably say OK- and that would be the end of it.
I would do the same. Then i would contact family that is coming and ask them to bring something.
I just did this for Hanukkah. This year is our year to host, and while i didn't mind since i don't have to travel this year, it is quite tough with the baby and having to make everything. So i gave people a choice on what they can bring. I have people bringing appetizers, soup for matzoh balls, and desserts. So all i have to do is cook the main course, cook the matzoh balls, make the latkes, and veggies, instead of everything. ALL this and i am not even jewish
You are a trooper...
She wants to make raviolis with tomato sauce as one of the dishes so I offered to make the sauce for her. But she said she can do that the night before as well.
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:26 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by sweetness
I would do the same. Then i would contact family that is coming and ask them to bring something.
I think this is fine too.
My sister is hosting Thanksgiving this year. She has a 17 month old and is moving on Monday. I think she is nuts- but now she lives 30 blocks from me and it beats travelling to Atlantic City for Thanksgiving to be with her in-laws.
She has given each of us a task of something to bring. She is making the Turkey and some of the sides, but between the 9 guests she is having, we are each bringing a thing or two so the burden doesnt' like so heavily on her.
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:28 AM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
Member since 5/05 9340 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by Shellyesq
Posted by sweetness
I would do the same. Then i would contact family that is coming and ask them to bring something.
I think this is fine too.
My sister is hosting Thanksgiving this year. She has a 17 month old and is moving on Monday. I think she is nuts- but now she lives 30 blocks from me and it beats travelling to Atlantic City for Thanksgiving to be with her in-laws.
She has given each of us a task of something to bring. She is making the Turkey and some of the sides, but between the 9 guests she is having, we are each bringing a thing or two so the burden doesnt' like so heavily on her.
I did offer to go to SIL's house early to help set up. They live 20 minutes from us so the traveling won't be bad.
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:30 AM |
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nrthshgrl
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Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this...
It wouldn't bother me if my DH offered it because I would see it as we're just trying to help out SIL. I agree if it does bother you mention to DH that in the future he should say "We'll talk about it & see if we can help out someway."
Also I think it's stressful for someone to work all day, come home to people preparing food in their kitchen and then host. If it were me, I would find a way to host it for her -even if it came down to catering it.
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:39 AM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
Member since 5/05 9340 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by nrthshgrl
It wouldn't bother me if my DH offered it because I would see it as we're just trying to help out SIL. I agree if it does bother you mention to DH that in the future he should say "We'll talk about it & see if we can help out someway."
Also I think it's stressful for someone to work all day, come home to people preparing food in their kitchen and then host. If it were me, I would find a way to host it for her -even if it came down to catering it.
We did suggest that we have everyone bring a dish.
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:42 AM |
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nrthshgrl
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by bedda26
We did suggest that we have everyone bring a dish.
I read that part. I'm saying - everyone bring a dish & she still has to host it in her house. It's just a lot to walk in to after being on your feet all day. I have a lot of sympathy for people that work on their feet.
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:44 AM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
Member since 5/05 9340 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by bedda26
We did suggest that we have everyone bring a dish.
I read that part. I'm saying - everyone bring a dish & she still has to host it in her house. It's just a lot to walk in to after being on your feet all day. I have a lot of sympathy for people that work on their feet.
Well she's not exactly on her feet. She sits at the front desk as the receptionst.
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:47 AM |
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Bxgell2
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Beth
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Re: How would you react to this...
I don't think I would get too upset becuase his intentions are good - consider yourself lucky to have a DH who is so caring and will jump to take care of people who need the help...
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:48 AM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by Bxgell2
I don't think I would get too upset becuase his intentions are good - consider yourself lucky to have a DH who is so caring and will jump to take care of people who need the help...
I know but it's still nice to get asked your opininion on it too.
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| Posted 11/15/06 10:49 AM |
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-Laurie-
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Re: How would you react to this...
I would expect the same from my brother if I needed to swap out one year and would expect Dh to just be on the same page as me if my brother needed it.
Message edited 11/15/2006 11:07:19 AM.
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| Posted 11/15/06 11:06 AM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
Member since 5/05 9340 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this...
I guess I need to think about it a little more. I don't know...
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| Posted 11/15/06 11:10 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this...
Honestly, if we always catered things and I knew that DH didn't intend for me to cook it wouldn't be a big deal to me. I personally find it easier to be at home with the baby so I can keep them to their schedule.
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| Posted 11/15/06 11:18 AM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
Member since 5/05 9340 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by sarahsmommy
Honestly, if we always catered things and I knew that DH didn't intend for me to cook it wouldn't be a big deal to me. I personally find it easier to be at home with the baby so I can keep them to their schedule.
Hmmm that's a good point too. You know what a good spin to it would be the fact that it is Matthew's 1st christmas and would be extra special for it to be at home. Plus MIL is staying over cuz she wants to be with DS on christmas morning so that would easier for her as well.
I'm going to seriously rethink this and talk it over with DH tonight when he gets home.
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| Posted 11/15/06 11:22 AM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
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Re: How would you react to this...
But would it be cheesy if we catered and set it up buffet style with paper plates? I just don't feel like washing dishes...LOL We would get plates with christmas designs on them...
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| Posted 11/15/06 11:24 AM |
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LuvMy2Girls
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Mommy
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by bedda26
But would it be cheesy if we catered and set it up buffet style with paper plates? I just don't feel like washing dishes...LOL We would get plates with christmas designs on them...
Your hosting it's your call!!
My grandmother hosts xmas eve every year, and I don't remember the last time we ate off of regular plates.
We have about 30 people for xmas, so that's less for all of us to wash.
Do you do the 10 fishes on xmas eve?
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| Posted 11/15/06 11:48 AM |
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Re: How would you react to this...
I wouldnt have thought twice about it. I like hosting things. This year I am doing Christmas again but it will around 26 people. I make almost everything but my MIL usually brings a few things and then my mom will come by and help me. I also use the real china and the table is set. I grew up having formal holidays and I like that tradition even thought my DH things I am nuts.
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| Posted 11/15/06 12:01 PM |
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TwoGirls4Me
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Marie
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by nrthshgrl
It wouldn't bother me if my DH offered it because I would see it as we're just trying to help out SIL. I agree if it does bother you mention to DH that in the future he should say "We'll talk about it & see if we can help out someway."
Also I think it's stressful for someone to work all day, come home to people preparing food in their kitchen and then host. If it were me, I would find a way to host it for her -even if it came down to catering it.
i totally agree. I would not be bothered at all.
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| Posted 11/15/06 12:13 PM |
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MrsJ
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Kathy
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by -Laurie-
I would expect the same from my brother if I needed to swap out one year and would expect Dh to just be on the same page as me if my brother needed it.
ditto.
i'm hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas this year - with a 6 mos old...
its always work when you host - our parents did it for years now i've been doing it for years. i dont think its fari to have the sister host it after working all day at all.
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| Posted 11/15/06 12:28 PM |
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beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!
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Re: How would you react to this...
My reaction would be...typical DH!  Men don't think before they speak!!! But since it's said and done, I would just suck it up and do it. I don't think there's anything wrong with eating off paper plates and having it catered. If that's what you need to do, go for it.
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| Posted 11/15/06 12:57 PM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
Member since 5/05 9340 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this...
Posted by beachgirl13
My reaction would be...typical DH! Men don't think before they speak!!! But since it's said and done, I would just suck it up and do it. I don't think there's anything wrong with eating off paper plates and having it catered. If that's what you need to do, go for it.
I know...now that the fat mouth opened his mouth it's like we might as well do it.
I'll talk to him about it and see what we'll do about it.
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| Posted 11/15/06 1:15 PM |
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DaniRN
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Danielle
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Re: How would you react to this...
It wouldn't bother me at all-but I love to host and entertain anyway. I would have definately offered if your SIL is working till 5 that night-regardless if she has a desk job or is on her feet it sux to have to work till 5 then come home and host.
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| Posted 11/15/06 1:32 PM |
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