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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: How independent are you?
Posted by Shellyesq
Posted by Janice
 I think from a husband's POV it is different though. My DH still swears I don't know that I am talking to a guy named Larry on here posing as 5 different brides
Actually, my name is Karl.
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Posted 10/27/05 9:58 AM  |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: How independent are you?
DH and I still spend a lot of one on one time with our own friends, but as far as trips go, the only time we really go away without the other one is for bach. parties.
For us it's more about money than anything else though. We figure that since we don't have a ton of money to soend on vacations that we should use the money we have to take nice vacations together. I think if we had more money we would probably go away with our friends occasionally just for the heck of it.
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| Posted 10/27/05 10:41 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: How independent are you?
Posted by nferrandi
For us it's more about money than anything else though. We figure that since we don't have a ton of money to soend on vacations that we should use the money we have to take nice vacations together.
This is pretty much our opinion on it too. I have not yet travelled without him, but I would if it were more of a trip to visit family or if I were staying at a friend's house - something cheap. If I am paying for a hotel, etc., I would rather it go for a nice trip for both of us.
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| Posted 10/27/05 10:45 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: How independent are you?
Well our best friends just moved to Nebraska and even though we'll try to visit them together, I would have no problem with him going without me if he could find reasonable airfare.
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| Posted 10/27/05 10:50 AM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: How independent are you?
Tania, I say you should go. You're working now and you need an outlet or moment all to yourself.
You met your hubby at a relatively young age, so I think that factors in to his "overprotectiveness". But you're a woman who is developing into your own person, not just "wife", "mother", etc. You need your own identity and outlets, outside of your family and your home.
I know it sounds corny but there's a Reba McIntrye (sorry non country fans) that correlates to this. It's called "Life out there". I'm going to think of you everytime I hear it now
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| Posted 10/27/05 10:56 AM |
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robynfs
12/6/10!!
Member since 9/05 4947 total posts
Name:
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Re: How independent are you?
My advice...go away with the girls. I have been separated for 8 months and going through a divorce. My world was turned upside down and I have had to rebuild my life, because my husband was my whole life. I have great friends and family but just didnt put in the time or effort. I wish I stayed more connected to my friends and was more independent and did things for me and things I liked.
Through lots of pain and hard work I have built a life, but now see the importance in indpendance and how it can only help a relationship.
Please make sure you have your own life..I have learned the hard way how important it is!!
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| Posted 10/27/05 12:11 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: How independent are you?
I am going to have to bookmark this thread for later reference.
Somehow I feel if the situation was reversed... and a husband was planning a weekend trip "with the guys"... I think a lot of people here would have issues with this and they wouldn't be saying "oh you should just go".
Because I have seen threads like this in the past with the situation reversed. Proved to be some very entertaining reading.
For the record... I would myself say to just go. i wouldn't have an issue with it if my wife wanted to go somewhere for the weekend.
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| Posted 10/27/05 12:45 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: How independent are you?
Posted by DjPiLL
I am going to have to bookmark this thread for later reference.
Somehow I feel if the situation was reversed... and a husband was planning a weekend trip "with the guys"... I think a lot of people here would have issues with this and they wouldn't be saying "oh you should just go".
Because I have seen threads like this in the past with the situation reversed. Proved to be some very entertaining reading.
For the record... I would myself say to just go. i wouldn't have an issue with it if my wife wanted to go somewhere for the weekend.
rich, you are 100% on the mark with this
when the situation is reverse, the claws have come out.
Sorry Tania and girls, I love ya, but I am the same way with boosh.
She wants to do a line dancing weekend. If you know line dancing, it's a lot of partner dancing. it's not that I don't trust her, I don't trust the guys. I told her that she could go, but I would be there too, making sure all is well.
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| Posted 10/27/05 1:26 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: How independent are you?
Girl! You're a capricorn - completely INdependent! You should have laid that foundation LONG AGO! I've been to 8 trips without DH (before we married). And I plan on going away without him soon!
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:06 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: How independent are you?
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
She wants to do a line dancing weekend. If you know line dancing, it's a lot of partner dancing. it's not that I don't trust her, I don't trust the guys. I told her that she could go, but I would be there too, making sure all is well.
if you were working or could not go for some reason, would she still go?
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:07 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How independent are you?
I do go away solo...I went to my college reunion without DH, and I may even go to Europe with family since DH does not want to go.
BUT...I'm not sure I would go on a trip to another state with women I've never met in person. I've gone to GTGs, and met some people who are now my closest friends, but also just didn't click with some. It would worry me that I would be stuck in another state with people I didn't feel comfortable with.
We also have enough money that me going away with friends wouldn't mean me and DH not being able to go away. If we were in a situation where funds were low and I had to choose, I would definitely choose going away with DH!
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:15 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: How independent are you?
Posted by Janice
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
She wants to do a line dancing weekend. If you know line dancing, it's a lot of partner dancing. it's not that I don't trust her, I don't trust the guys. I told her that she could go, but I would be there too, making sure all is well.
if you were working or could not go for some reason, would she still go?
i wouldn't approve of it and i'd give her he!!, but shed probably still go
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:20 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: How independent are you?
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
i wouldn't approve of it
No offense Don but what is this 'approval' crap?? I don't mean it jsut for you, Tania's husband apparently said the same thing. Since we're not our husband's mothers, I wouldn't expect our husbands to act as our fathers. And IMO only mothers and fathers can 'approve' of activities.
Tania, if this is something you really want to do, go for it! I go away fairly often without DH, he's done the same with me (although not quite as often) and it works for us. I do believe in the old addage "pick your battles" but with the whole 'approval' language, I think this may be a good one to choose.
JMO.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:23 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: How independent are you?
I am older and did a lot of "girl's weekends" before I got married. Honestly, I don't often feel the need to do them now, and am more of a homebody these days. However, if I wanted to go away for a weekend without DH, I would do it. I would be fine with it if he wanted to do the same. I know that he prefers to be with me, but I need more alone time than he does, and he respects that.
And I always tell him, jokingly, "you are NOT the boss of me."
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:37 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: How independent are you?
Posted by dpli
And I always tell him, jokingly, "you are NOT the boss of me."
I always joke and sing "You don't own me"
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:51 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: How independent are you?
Posted by Leeners
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
i wouldn't approve of it
No offense Don but what is this 'approval' crap?? I don't mean it jsut for you, Tania's husband apparently said the same thing. Since we're not our husband's mothers, I wouldn't expect our husbands to act as our fathers. And IMO only mothers and fathers can 'approve' of activities.
Tania, if this is something you really want to do, go for it! I go away fairly often without DH, he's done the same with me (although not quite as often) and it works for us. I do believe in the old addage "pick your battles" but with the whole 'approval' language, I think this may be a good one to choose.
JMO.
approve is the wrong word
agree is more like it
in the end, boosh does what she wants, whether i like it or not
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| Posted 10/27/05 3:02 PM |
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BrunetteMom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 1480 total posts
Name:
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Re: How independent are you?
Posted by Redhead
IMO...i would go away witht he girls for a weekend.
And i would let the DH do the same..
I agree.
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| Posted 10/27/05 3:03 PM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: How independent are you?
Getting away with DH really does you good. I find its nice for a change of people every once in awhile and then you start to miss him and get all excited to get home and jump him
I go on long weekends all the time with my mom, sisters and friends without DH. I have never asked for his approval but then again he has never let on to me that i should ask him.
And Captain Charisma I understand what you are saying about its not about trusting your wife but rather trusting the guys, because DH has said that to me to, but he also knows I am a big girl and can handle myself just fine.
I usually go away with groups. I could only see DH being fearful for me if I was solo on a trip for some reason.
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| Posted 10/27/05 3:29 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: How independent are you?
after reviewing my comments, i feel the need to clarify, so as not to be seen as something I am not.
Maybe I was a bit harsh. If she wanted to do something without me, I would be fine with it. It's just this one instance. The group drinks, the guys are not trustworthy. That's the only reason I would be uncomforatble. Id let her go -- I would just feel uncomfortable under that circumstance.
She doesn't need my approval to do anything and she doesn't ask for it.
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| Posted 10/27/05 4:11 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: How independent are you?
Don, DH used to have the same feelings. He just recently realized that my sister and I are so annoying (to us in a good way  ) that no one comes near us anymore. 
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| Posted 10/27/05 4:19 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: How independent are you?
I am very independent. We do lots together but I will often have girl time and even mini trips and he hangs with his friends too. I find that it makes us appreciate and miss each other more
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| Posted 10/27/05 4:26 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: How independent are you?
I can't think of anyone whose approval I need.
I went on a group trip to Brazil by myself. Trust me, there were guys on the group- and guys in Brazil. If DH didn't "trust the guys"
then he has to trust me- and eh did.
When I was in Brazil, I went dancing l- I was the only one with a fiancee and everyone else was single. We went partying adn clubbing- guys asked me to dance- guys offerred me drinks. I said no and sent them along to one of my single friends.
The same thing happened when I was partying in Greece with a girlfriend who also had a bf (we are now both married). The boys could have tried whatever they wanted, but we just talked about our boyfriends at home and if anyone made us uncomfotable- we left. Someone even tried to kiss me- and I was drunk- and I pushed him away and told him he knew I was taken and he had to leave me alone, and he did. We were also in a big group- so I knew my safety was not an issue.
I even went to Israel for my best friend's wedding and stayed with DH's parents since he couldn't make it for work reasons.
If someone is going to cheat- they don't need to be far away to do it. They don't need to be drunk to do it. The don't need to be dancing to do it.
As long as you are safe, have good sense, and are with people you know- you will be fine and DH should have nothing to worry about.
Message edited 10/27/2005 4:36:27 PM.
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| Posted 10/27/05 4:30 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: How independent are you?
duly noted and you are entitled counsel
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| Posted 10/27/05 4:58 PM |
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christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
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Re: How independent are you?
I take a trip with my best friend every summer. It has been a tradition for 10 years and DH is fine with it.
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| Posted 10/27/05 5:00 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: How independent are you?
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
approve is the wrong word
agree is more like it
in the end, boosh does what she wants, whether i like it or not
Glad to hear this - on all accounts
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| Posted 10/27/05 5:40 PM |
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