Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

Thinking more about the future and having children and the cost of 2 (or 3) in daycare is pretty nuts. It would literally be more than I make per month to pay for 2 kids in daycare. I guess it would make sense to be a SAHM if daycare costs that much but then I think what happens in 3-4 years when the kids are in school FT and I have no job! Is it crazy to basically work for free? Any other moms doing just that?

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

If you chose to go the sahm route its your call. But I think of it this way, will you be happy as a sahm? Is your career the type if you leave for a bit it's easy to come back to? Are you currently contributing to retirement through your job? Several years of non contribution can derail your retirement goals. Is insurance through your job, if so how are your husband's benefits. If you do continue to work make sure you and Dh are claiming the correct number of dependents so you are getting all the money you are supossed to in your paycheck.

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

There are so many variables.

What do you do?

Like, I have a girlfriend who is a real estate agent. She can leave now and would have no problem going back in a few years - she could always find an agency to take her, she would have to hustle a little to get her client base back up, but no biggie.

I have another friend who is in IT. For her, it is like that episode of SATC where Charlotte leaves her job at the gallery and Samantha reminds her -- be careful about making the decision to get off of the ride, because the biiitches that are waiting to get ON are 22 and RUTHLESS. For my friend in IT, her industry is very fast-paced and always evolving. She would be looked at as "old news" by firms like the one she works for if she is not consistently in the industry, being versed on the new systems and updates, etc.

So, it is a question of can you take time off and go back without it being an issue in 3,4,5 years.

For me, also, I would have to consider the fact that -- this is my personal situation -- I am contributing to a great pension system, and the benefits regarding retirement one day and all of that are such a home-run that I could never just walk away from a job like this. I also love what I do. I can't imagine staying home each day. I would go out of my mind. But then again, my son is the product of a very scholastically oriented daycare and at two I feel like he has learned so much and is so social -- I don't think I could ever have gotten him to where he is today on my own. I'm sure some mom's could but not me! LOL! And I love my son and our time together, don't get me wrong. But I have a passion for what I do. I am also divorced so I know that life can change at any moment -- and I would need to be able to support myself and not rely on a man.

It is hard to compare though because my salary is way over, monthly, what the cost of daycare is, so it IS worth it for me to work. I'm trying to consider if it wasn't that way -- if just the pension and everything else would be worth it but I still think it would be.

Message edited 9/10/2015 3:27:50 PM.

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

Great insight! I appreciate the different point of views.

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

Next year, I will essentially be making almost nothing after childcare, preschool & expenses are added up after taxes.

It will only be for a year... After that, some expenses will go down (we just had a 3rd child) & then I will be netting a profit again.

I do have $ going to a retirement account, a college account for the kids, I cover our family health care & I have the stability of a great job. I do send DD to a preschool (and this is a benefit vs her staying home with only me: this expense wouldn't change). As Pps said, there are many components to an issue. It's a personal decision.

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I know someone who does this. For her, she said that it's a temporary expense and she wouldn't want to have to find a job after being home for years. But it's a personal decision. Daycare is going to eat up half my salary but since I'll still be making half, back to work I go...not sure that I would work if it ate up my whole salary though.

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

Personally I could never leave my career and come back even remotely where I am. Nor would I ever want to be a stay at home mom. Its such a personal decision.

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I work cause I have to stay current in insurance industry. It would be a tough transition back after a three year gap. Probably a salary cut. Plus then if hubby lost job cobra for health insurance is very expensive to pick up.

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

A lot depends on how easy it will be for you to return to the workforce. I had triplets and had absolutely no choice but to stay home - the cost of three infant daycares would be insane. It was too big a job for one nanny. Plus even if I could afford three daycares, my job was not flexible enough to allow for 3x the sick days, calls to pick up for diarrhea, pink eye etc, plus staff days, holidays etc. plus the logistics of getting three infants up and out each day. Lol. Anyway they are three now and in school and I am looking to get a job and it is TOUGH. I had a great resume for my field and even trying to get a job with a massive pay cut, is proving to be very difficult.

I don't regret my decision. One because it really wasn't a choice. And two, because I know that these are the only kids I'm going to have and I'm glad I didn't miss anything. However, the flip side is, they are in school now and re entering the workforce is going to be really tough. In the meantime I am going to the gym a lot ;) but I am feeling restless and without a purpose at the moment. You really can't win in this county as a mom!

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

My kids are in k and 3rd. We literally just stopped paying for pre-k. Now we have 2 in public school. With lunches, fundraisers, Halloween dances alllll times 2!! It's almost the same as paying for pre-k. We have more in our pockets now, but as they get older they need more, kwim?

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I quit my job a year and a half ago to be a SAHM for this exact reason. I had three kids in daycare and I was working to pay for daycare and have health insurance for myself. My kids were covered under DH but as soon as he added me to the plan his premium sky rocketed. We were using an in home daycare and we knew one of the women who ran it. And her daughter was a friend of mine who also worked there. So we had a really good rate. After about a year of having my third child In the daycare with my twins, they are 21 months apart, I was literally coming home with nothing. It was tiring, stressful and to me it wasn't worth the tremendous amount of stress I was under at my job. People were losing their jobs left and right, the company was going to sh!t and we all wondered if our department was next. So DH and I sat down, figured out our finances and gave myself a date that I would quit. I worked for another 6 months (part of me wanted to ride it out and see if my department was getting let go so I could get the severance) then I quit. In the beginning it was great And I would not change my decision for anything, but I can't say that it was the best decision I ever made. Being a SAHM of three little ones is HARD. For me personally it's harder than being a FTWM. Physically and mentally it's exhausting. There are days when it takes such a toll on me that doing regular household chores is physically hard. I don't get to have that adult interaction everyday, I don't get to get up and do my hair and make up every day. Some days I am lucky if I get a shower before the kids get up. Financially we are actually doing better than when I was working. If I did continue to work at the time I would have had to quit anyway because our daycare wound up closing its doors so the women could retire. No way in he!! Could I afford a regular daycare center. The twins started preschool last year, 3 days a week/2.5 hrs a day. This year they will do 5 days 2.5 hrs a day of pre k and my youngest will go to preschool. I'll have 2.5 hours a day 4 days a week to myself to get things done around here. Next year my twins will be in K and my youngest pre k. When my youngest starts K I will look for something part time just to bring in some extra cash and have that adult contact again. I could have my old job back if I wanted. I occasionally talk to my old boss and she always tells me whenever I am ready to come back. But we will be moving before then and the travel won't be worth it. I don't have a college degree so there really isn't any field that I am in so finding another full time 9-5 job will be hard. It's really a personal decision. If I could do it all over again, I'd probably continue to work if I knew then what I know now. Sure the days I've gotten to spend with my kids I would not change for anything, but i've also been in some dark spots since becoming a SAHM. Before making any decisions ask yourself if it's really what you want. If you'll be happy. If you're cut out to be a SAHM. Think about all the pros and cons and just take some time for yourself to really think about it.

Message edited 9/10/2015 6:15:45 PM.

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

Totally depends on your industry and if you'd be happy/feel fulfilled as a SAHM. I'm a tenured teacher in a district here on LI. No way in hell I'd get my job back if I left, or even any teaching job for that matter. The education field is swamped with candidates, many of whom have been looking for years. If I took off for a few years and left my current district, but decided I was unhappy and wanted to get back into teaching, despite being a great teacher with glowing recommendations from parents, past students, and administrators, I'd be too expensive to hire based on years of experience and how many credits I have above my masters degree. They'd likely hire someone fresh outta college/grad school that they could pay very little due to no prior experience.

Message edited 9/10/2015 6:27:29 PM.

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I work for certification purposes. Because of the nature of my job I don't have all my hours right now. I literally paid $65 in daycare to go to work in the last two weeks! So I was in the negative! This is with two in daycare. It sucks but I planned for it. If we have a third I'm hoping to take a full year off and then return when dd goes to school.

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I considered it last year but even if I was just working for daycare I couldn't afford the years lost in my career. I would not be able to get a full time position as easily if I left to stay home. I do like what I do and enjoy my job but I at times I wish I could be home with my son. It's a really a personal decision and I think it depends on your field of work. Also consider you won't be paying those expenses forever. What will happen when your kids are in school full time?

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I am not sure how I would feel about that. I have three who are with a sitter and two of them go to nursery on top of that. It cost more than my mortgage! It is still worth it for me to work as I make a nice living.

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I made the decision to stay at home with my daughter full time. Originally I had planned for it to be one year but I have since extended it. I NEVER thought I could be a stay at home mom- it was never part of my plan yet I love it! My dd is growing so fast and I love being able to be with her every single day. There are some very tough days but the good days far out number the bad days. My DH makes a good living and we have COBRA from my last position--the plan as of now is for me to start looking for work after my daughter turns two. I suspect it will take me some time to find a position but I am not in a huge rush to go back to work just yet. I miss working some days but nothing could compare to being able to spend this time home with my daughter.
I think the decision to stay home is a personal one and every person has to make the choice that is best for them and their family.

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

Such a Tough decision. With #2 on the way, I felt like it was crazy to pay so much for daycare, especially since I wanted to be home with them. It's not just 3-4 years of day care, especially if you want 2 or 3 kids. It's years of after care, vacation care and pricey full time day camps. It was not worth the stress of me working full time just to pay everyone else and make them rich meaning, I was not any better off financially speaking if I continued working. We save extra for retirement / brokerage in my name just to have it now. Staying home is hard, but for me working FT juggling everything and sending one whole paycheck to someone else was not going to work for me. Obviously DH's income, family background, and money style all comes into play.

Also consider flexibility, my job was not flexible at all. The pay was nice, but they owned you

PS; you will be amazed at how much time they have off from school/ half days/ snow days/ sick days etc. you wouldn't be bored

Message edited 9/10/2015 10:45:33 PM.

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

Whatever decision you make its never crazy. Some people bring home nearly 0 but carry the benefits or stay because of the pension or just because they enjoy what they do.

I left my FT position to work PT (3 full days) I didnt love the work but the flexiblity was fantastic. Then my whole team was let go. So I stayed home because at the time unemployment was so high it was nearly impossible to get a good job. And I was lucky enough not to NEED to get a not so good job.

I have been home for 6+ years. I dont love being a SAHM but I dont regret leavign working either. My husband appreciates that I stay home and feels it totally makes his life less stressful. WE now have a child in 3rd grade and a pre-k. Next year I will have 2 in FT school yet I have no intention of going back to work FT. Honestly, having them in school is a juggling act. Between the in school activities, (parties, field day etc) the half days, days off, conferences, snow days, sick days its alot.

I know when I do return to work it will be for less than I was making back in 2007. But I am okay with that because I know my being home has improved the quality of my family's life.

its really a personal decision. Its hard both way, but you have to weigh all the options and decide what is best for you and yours!

Good Luck

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I am pregnant with my second and when this one starts daycare, I am basically working for health insurance, 401k contribution, $630/month and my sanity. Also - to keep current with my career path. I do sometimes think I wish I could stay home or go part time - but the health insurance pretty much seals my decision.

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

That's definitely a very tough and very personal decision. For me it was an easier decision, because at the time DD was born, I was working as a substitute and leave replacement teacher, trying to become a permanent teacher. But the districts don't pay subs and leave replacements nearly as much a regular teachers, nor do they give any benefits like insurance. Even though the job is just as demanding. So there was no way I was going to bust my butt for such a small amount of pay while handing over all my earnings for someone else to care for my DD all day. If I had already been tenured and earning a real paycheck, I probably would have taken the standard maternity leave and then went back to work. But for me, at the time, I didn't really have much to lose, especially since most districts try to avoid tenuring teachers. I was getting paid so little as sub, that it probably would have cost MORE for daycare than what I was even earning.

Re: Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I just had #2 a month ago and am taking a six month maternity leave. While I sometimes wish I could stay home, it's not reality for us.

I would never get the job I have now if I were out of the workforce for a few years or even less, including salary, benefits, and flexibility. I carry health insurance. Our mortgage payments are way too high to pay on only one salary.

I completely agree that staying home with kids is harder than working. I also wonder what I would do when the kids are in school full-time, although I can see how their activities can certainly fill up the days. I've always wanted a third, but we'll see. Lots to consider.

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I always thought I would quit and be a SAHM once #2 arrived... But... I recently started a new job, and honestly, there is no way I would be able to leave and come back anywhere close to the position I am in now. I worked hard to get here. I manage a pretty large medical practice that is growing quickly, and if I were to leave, I would never be able to step right back into the managerial role, I would wind up as a receptionist. That would be such a huge step back for me, I don't think I could ever do that to myself. I love my sons daycare, and he loves it there... And there are other benefits of working than just the cash you bring home, what about retirement plans? Are you currently contributing to a 401k or IRA? Health care? Those are all big considerations. Could we survive on DH's salary alone? Absolutely, we basically do now, but I wouldn't want to put that all on him.

Message edited 9/12/2015 1:51:35 AM.

Getting Paid Only For Daycare?

I just wanted to say I really appreciated everyones insight on this topic, it gave me a lot to think about!!!I still have no idea what we will do when the time comes but I feel like now i have a lot more thoughts out there to consider then just $$.