Re: Friends Houses

I wouldn't say anything - I would just never eat at their house.
I would however visit them.

Re: Friends Houses

I wouldn't say anything. I would try not to eat there for sure! And I leave my pocketbook in the car, for fear of bugs crawling in (if they are dirty enough that they may have roaches, let's say).

Re: Friends Houses

Been in this situation, wouldn't say anything or go back.

If you really are concerned about their being an 'issue', it most likely would be a symptom of a larger problem. Being overwhelmed, being depressed, etc. THAT is the kind of thing I would address with a close friend. Not necessarily the cleanliness, but why it was happening.

Some people are just not that clean. If they accept that (because how can they not realize?) then they should also accept that people may not want to be exposed to extreme filth.

Re: Friends Houses

I wouldn't say anything, people have different standards, and I don't think it's my place.

I would agree with most other posters that I would try my best not to visit this place often.

Re: Friends Houses

no but i get skeeved...like my house has bacteria all over or something None of my friends are like that but someone in my in-laws is like that..

Re: Friends Houses

Re: Friends Houses

I wouldnt say anything becuase they probably know its dirty and dont care. Now if this was someone for the msot part who was clean, I would make sure everything was ok.

Re: Friends Houses

no - but I wouldn't go back!

Re: Friends Houses

I was in this situation recently, but iwth an older in-law.
I did what Matilde said--I overed to set the table, but then re-washed all the plates, glasses & utensils first.

The home owner wasn't really paying attention, so they weren't offended.

Another time at a friends, we left early, b/c of all the pet hair everywhere & blamed it on allergies.

Message edited 6/26/2008 4:08:07 PM.

Re: Friends Houses

No i wouldn't say anything.

Not sure that i would be going to their house anymore

Re: Friends Houses

I have two friends whose places are really bad. Unfortunately they also are places that are not super close to us, so we usually stay over when we visit. The last time we went we stayed in a hotel.

Re: Friends Houses

Nah, each to his own. Who knows really what is going on in someone's home. Maybe there was an illness, crisis at work, etc. that prevented them from taking care of business. Only if the situation was extremely serious and questionable (if there was feces laying around and there was children living in the home, etc.), then I would speak up.

My sister had BAD PPD and when I went to see her, the house was a disaster. Near non-functioning bad (cat boxes overflowing onto the floor, ashtrays at max capacity, etc.). I basically cleaned up the entire house and told her she had a month to get herself on meds/checked out by the doctor, etc. or else I was coming back for the kids. As much as I could sympathize with what she was going through, there was existing hazards in the home that could affect the kids. That's the only reason I would step in.

Re: Friends Houses

no i would not say anything. Not my house, none of my business. AS long as I dont have to live there, I woukdnt say anything.

Re: Friends Houses

This post just made me go wash my floor

I hope I am not one of the people that are talked about for their dirty house. It is really hard to keep up sometimes between a baby, two shedding dogs, and a full time job. Usually if my house is gross I don't let people come over

I wouldn't say anything because who am I to judge??

Re: Friends Houses

Re: Friends Houses

My cousin was married to someone who's house was a nightmare. When she became pregnant they asked me to be the baby's Godmother. I said ok, provided I can come and clean the house before the baby's born. They weren't offended and I went over one day and together we cleaned up. After the baby was born I went back and the place was a mess again, I never went back to visit. Boy was I mad, that poor baby is living in that filth. It really makes me mad but at the same time makes me think that something must be causing this behavior.

Re: Friends Houses

I wouldn't say anything but I would make sure not to go there often. If the bathroom is gross I won't use it.

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I would not say anything, and I would not go back....If she asked I would gentley tell her why...

Re: Friends Houses

I definitely wouldn't say anything. If I can use a public bathroom I'd use their bathroom but probably would avoid eating or drinking anything there.

I can deal with pet hair, but I had a friend whose house STUNK of cat and I just never went there again.

Re: Friends Houses

Posted by anonttcer

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Re: Friends Houses

If it was a close friend or family member who usually keeps their house in decent condition and they just seemed depressed or something.. I would try to find a way to help them without offending them.. I also feel like if I, myself, tried to help it wouldn't come off as snobby or rude because I am NO NEAT FREAK..

My DH used to have a friend who I am obviously not that close with.. he was 22 at the time, lived alone,smoked cigs and pot all day with his friends over, snacks laying around everywhere, wall to wall carpeting in his TINY apartment, and did I mention he had an indoor/outdoor cat.. OH MY GOD..his apartment was GROSS.. piss stains EVERYWHERE

He kept the cat's litterbox in his TINY bathroom and we stopped by one day when I was pregnant, I wasn't going to go in but I REALLY had to pee.. wow.. in retrospect, I would have rather peed in my pants or gone in a bush..

Message edited 6/26/2008 5:40:05 PM.

Re: Friends Houses

I get so grossed out by that stuff that I doubt I would come back to visit! I will be honest- I probably would say something if it was a close friend.

Message edited 6/26/2008 5:47:56 PM.

Re: Friends Houses

Posted by CCMommy

If it was a close friend or family member who usually keeps their house in decent condition and they just seemed depressed or something.. I would try to find a way to help them without offending them.. I also feel like if I, myself, tried to help it wouldn't come off as snobby or rude because I am NO NEAT FREAK..

My DH used to have a friend who I am obviously not that close with.. he was 22 at the time, lived alone,smoked cigs and pot all day with his friends over, snacks laying around everywhere, wall to wall carpeting in his TINY apartment, and did I mention he had an indoor/outdoor cat.. OH MY GOD..his apartment was GROSS.. piss stains EVERYWHERE

He kept the cat's litterbox in his TINY bathroom and we stopped by one day when I was pregnant, I wasn't going to go in but I REALLY had to pee.. wow.. in retrospect, I would have rather peed in my pants or gone in a bush..

Re: Friends Houses

I def. would not say anything, but I wouldn't go back though.

Re: Friends Houses

I'd never say anything. Never! Unless it was a total change of personality - someone who was formerly clean was now living is squalor. I know someone, who I love dearly, who has never been the cleanest housekeeper. I love her enough to overlook it. I mean, she isn't filthy with roaches and overpiled garbage and such but definitely miles away from my version of clean (which is not ***** and span obsessively clean but is pretty clean), but she just isn't that clean. I love her...and her family. I actually don't hold it against her or think any less of her for it.

ETA: the asterisked word is spic k as in "spic k and span"...who knew?

Message edited 6/26/2008 8:37:34 PM.