Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by M514

Posted by BargainMama

She had another one that was bashing what people post on facebook, and I just connected that it came from the same person. She just seems downright miserable, and by putting others down is trying to make herself feel more secure in her own parenting choices.

I don't think life is complicated. You make it how complicated you want it to be. I'm crafty, I'm involved, I attend every event, help at school, make fancy things, have great parties. On the flip side, we are perfectly fine playing with a cardboard box all day . Just because you (or she) is different doesn't mean it's okay to be condescending about my (or anyone else's choices ;) And really, that's all these "rantings" are...backhanded bashes on other people's choices ;)

I agree. I find that I can't relate to a lot of those mommy articles, but that's ok, because everyone is different. It's not a competition. I do like making fun foods for my DD, I love school events, I try to find crafts and fun things for my child to do...because I like to do it. I don't feel pressured to do it. There's a difference. Some people just take things too personally and put the competion on themselves.

Exactly, I feel no pressure to do anything. I enjoy being who I am.

Oh I get that and I do that too but life is complicated and only gets more as you have kids, IMO and IME.

Not really. it's as complicated as YOU make it. But I digress, because I have zero desire to go back and forth with you today Enjoy your day :)

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by M514

Posted by BargainMama

She had another one that was bashing what people post on facebook, and I just connected that it came from the same person. She just seems downright miserable, and by putting others down is trying to make herself feel more secure in her own parenting choices.

I don't think life is complicated. You make it how complicated you want it to be. I'm crafty, I'm involved, I attend every event, help at school, make fancy things, have great parties. On the flip side, we are perfectly fine playing with a cardboard box all day . Just because you (or she) is different doesn't mean it's okay to be condescending about my (or anyone else's choices ;) And really, that's all these "rantings" are...backhanded bashes on other people's choices ;)

I agree. I find that I can't relate to a lot of those mommy articles, but that's ok, because everyone is different. It's not a competition. I do like making fun foods for my DD, I love school events, I try to find crafts and fun things for my child to do...because I like to do it. I don't feel pressured to do it. There's a difference. Some people just take things too personally and put the competion on themselves.

Exactly, I feel no pressure to do anything. I enjoy being who I am.

Oh I get that and I do that too but life is complicated and only gets more as you have kids, IMO and IME.

Not really. it's as complicated as YOU make it. But I digress, because I have zero desire to go back and forth with you today Enjoy your day :)

I know you don't want to go back and forth but I have to agree to disagree with you then. There are so many things in life that get complicated no matter how much you ignore them, or go with the flow.

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Message edited 11/11/2015 1:15:53 PM.

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

I find it very sad that as grown, adult women, people are still so insecure that they feel the need to either A. keep up with, B. completely bash someone else's accomplishments, 'over' indulgences etc, or C. brag on relentlessly about all of the things they do, desperately looking for admiration from complete strangers.

I don't remember who said these things are only as complicated as you make them - but I agree. There are MANY things you can't contorl in life, but for the ones you can .......YOU decide how complicated and crazy your life is -

I LOVE all of this crafty sh*t - Fancy cakes, cupcakes, fondant decorated cookies, - LOVE doing it.
I also have a FT job with a commute to/from NYC, a house, a husband, a dog and 2 little boys .......
Sometimes I get upset that I don't have (make) the time to do the things I ENJOY doing, take pride in doing, feel good about myself after completing etc -
So, I get all gung ho I'm going to do this .......and then reality hits

IF I decide to take on a project, it's b/c I WANT to do it - If I'm going to b*tch to my friends about how I stayed up until 3 am finishing the cookies for my son's birthday party and now I know why those people charge $8 per freaking cookie - it's going to be in a good natured, joking way - acknowleging the fact that, No, I didn't HAVE TO do this - I CHOSE to, b/c in theory
I love to .........but with the 500 other things I have going on I now made my OWN life miserable and exhausting and these F$*^$%g cookies probably weren't a good idea.

I don't know - I don't fault anyone who wants to do something special for their kids -If they're doing it for their own satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, or, child's happiness - I think it's kind of pathetic to do anything in life simply to impress someone else ..........particularly someone on the other end of a keyboard - and if you have the kind of time on your hands to do all of that sh*t for that reason .......you should probably reevaluate

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

I could give a shiz what anyone chooses to do with their children as long as they are loving them and taking care of them properly. Candy bars, homemade decor, whatever it is. Some people enjoy it, some people would rather do a party in a box from Party City. Its ALL GOOD. Have some confidence in yourself and your decisions. We are all doing the best we can:)

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

I'm all about keeping in simple (and not feeling guilty about it)! I wish I were more crafty & creative, but it's just not me... Oh well. My kids don't seem to care or know the difference.

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

I can't relate to that article at All because my mom did hand make every costume I ever had. She was the class mom and came to every event. I don't think this is a new invention.

As a mom, I do somethings others may not do (I am a little type A) but there are plenty of things other moms do that I don't and that is ok too.

It's kind of like the drinking thread - live and let live. Don't worry about what others are doing. Do what YOU want to do and what will make you and your family happy. The things I do I do because I genuinely enjoy it.

ETA: nice cakes were a thing when I grew up too and I'm 38. I had nice cakes growing up and they were never homemade and I had nice birthday parties.

Message edited 11/12/2015 10:09:42 AM.

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Posted by HeyJude

Posted by LuckyStar

Except Disney, I'm never going to Disney.

Oh my goodness, the flack I have received for this! People are horrifed that we are not taking our kids to Disney. Or I get the "you'll see" comment.

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

I am not a parent but enjoyed reading the article. I agree, a step back would be nice. My parents were not my friend and were not afraid to SAY no. My dad made it clear, he was not to be our buddy and he did not care about keeping up with the neighbors like everyone feels today. Many people will say they dont feel the need but IMO that's not being honest.

We went on vacations in the Summer when we had off from school. My parents would never pulls us from school for a vacation, but many parents today do. Friends who are teaches complain about that all the time. People can say its how you parent and who you surround your family with but not 100% true because with media and after school sports, activities etc everyone is surrounded in it and no one wants to look cheap to other people.

People go to birthday parties and feel the need to spend no less than $30-50??

My Birthday parties where simple. A cake, drinks and some fun. My mom would drop off cupcakes for the class and the teachers gave them out. Today it seems that cant be done.

wanted to add. I remember my mom making my Halloween costume as well most years. it was exciting to watch her finish it.

I agree with the op, and the article.

Message edited 11/12/2015 11:51:12 AM.

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by hmm

I am not a parent but enjoyed reading the article. I agree, a step back would be nice. My parents were not my friend and were not afraid to SAY no. My dad made it clear, he was not to be our buddy and he did not care about keeping up with the neighbors like every feels today. Many people will say they done feel the need but IMO that's not being honest.

We went on vacations in the Summer when we had off from school. My parents would never pulls us from school for a vacation, but many parents today do. Friends who are teaches complain about that all the time. People can say its how you parent and who you surround your family with but not 100% true because with media and after school sports, activities etc everyone is surrounded in it and no one wants to look cheap to other people.

People go to birthday parties and feel the need to spend no less than $30-50??

My Birthday parties where simple. A cake, drinks and some fun. My mom would drop off cupcakes for the class and the teachers gave them out. Today it seems that cant be done.

wanted to add. I remember my mom making my Halloween costume as well most years. it was exciting to watch her finish it.

I agree with the op, and the article.

Perfect

Message edited 11/12/2015 11:50:23 AM.

Finally- I found a mother just like me

It's all about finding a balance that works for you. Children are happy when their parents are happy.

Sometimes I love to craft and take and post millions of pictures other days I am just trying not to fall asleep on the poor kid!

Either way, I love him the same and I show it. That's all that matters. Bottom line. And I don't give a crap about how others parent. If you love your kid and you're there for them, that's what they will remember The things to be most proud of as a parent are the times you spent meeting their needs, comforting them, kissing boo boos, teaching them, instilling confidence, making them laugh and smile and shaping them into being a respectable adult. Store bought or homemade cupcakes doesnt matter....who cares????? If you love to bake great, if you don't great!

I was NEVER brought to Disney and i'm fine. I think I have the most amazing parents because they love us unconditionally and were are still there for us at the drop of a dime. That's what it's all about, everything else is so minor.

Mommy wars..biggest eye roll ever! People who judge others should usually look in the mirror first.

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

Posted by hmm

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by hmm

I am not a parent but enjoyed reading the article. I agree, a step back would be nice. My parents were not my friend and were not afraid to SAY no. My dad made it clear, he was not to be our buddy and he did not care about keeping up with the neighbors like every feels today. Many people will say they done feel the need but IMO that's not being honest.

We went on vacations in the Summer when we had off from school. My parents would never pulls us from school for a vacation, but many parents today do. Friends who are teaches complain about that all the time. People can say its how you parent and who you surround your family with but not 100% true because with media and after school sports, activities etc everyone is surrounded in it and no one wants to look cheap to other people.

People go to birthday parties and feel the need to spend no less than $30-50??

My Birthday parties where simple. A cake, drinks and some fun. My mom would drop off cupcakes for the class and the teachers gave them out. Today it seems that cant be done.

wanted to add. I remember my mom making my Halloween costume as well most years. it was exciting to watch her finish it.

I agree with the op, and the article.

Perfect

ty, even with my spelling errors lol

i did want to add, my parents did not negotiate punishment or meal time. My mom cooked and we ate, if not, as my mom would say, Im not a short order cook and no child ever starved from not eating one meal, by the morning we always ate.

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

My mom was Pinterest before it existed. She handmade our costumes, our above and beyond cakes, our parties were insane. Both my parents were at every event. My dad was PTA treasurer. That was in the 80s and how I was raised. I;m not half as crafty as my mother and I work, she did not, so I don't do as much. But I do enjoy doing with and for my son as much as possible. I really don't care what other people do.

Message edited 11/12/2015 4:47:56 PM.

Finally- I found a mother just like me

Man I miss the old days when moms didn't a shit what any other mom did...!

Finally- I found a mother just like me

duplicAte post

Message edited 11/12/2015 5:07:18 PM.

Re: Finally- I found a mother just like me

I think the article is ridiculous, mostly bc she's annoyed at a woman who made her daughter dresses for Disney and the writer makes a huge leap and says that she is doing it bc this is what is expected. I don't personally know anyone who ever handmade a dress for Disney but I do frequent the dis boards and there is a woman whose Hobby is making these AMAZINGdressesfor her daughter for their very frequent Disney vacations bc the family loves Disney and the mom loves to sew and create these dresses, she takes great pride in it and I think might actually sell them afterwards. She's not doing it to keep up with the jones's, she's doing it bc she loves to go it. If the writer feels the need to do these things even if she doesnt want to bc she hears other people do, she needs to reexamine herself instead of assuming the worst in others and bashing people who do want to do them.