Does your husband...

For DS 1 - we took shifts - one of us went to bed early and the other one went to bed later.

He started sleeping through the night pretty quick so then it was all me.

Then he stopped sleeping through the night as soon as I went back to work.

For DS 2 - I did all overnight feedings.

Re: Does your husband...

In the beginning for my first, I had to build up my nursing supply so it was all me, but by month two or three I would take the midnight feeding and he would take the 3 am feed and then we would switch off. By five months DS slept from midnight to five am so that was great. For my dd, she did not stop getting up at 2:30 am until she was nearly three years old. It was really rough for us. Most of the time one of us would end up on the floor in her room or she would come into our room. I think with two it is a lot harder. You need to talk to your husband.

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Dh always helped with overnight feeds. He had no choice in the matter. I have twins too. It wasn't even up for debate. And while it was really hard on him, he understood that he needed to help even while I was on maternity leave becuase things were equally as hard on me during the day while he was at work.

You really need to talk to him and tell him he's gotta step up and help you more at night! Don't ask him! Tell him!

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Re: Does your husband...

No, not with either one but I did not have twins. If I had twins, I would expect the help.

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For both my children I breastfed and did all the overnight feedings and care which was usually every 2 hours for the first 3 months then spaced out after that. When I was on maternity leave I knew he had to go to work so I tried to let him sleep as much as possible because working sleep deprived sucks. When I went back to work at 12 weeks I still did all the feedings and night care because I was breastfeeding but if the baby wouldn't settle back down after I had fed/changed etc he would then go in and try to settle the baby in. After they were no longer EBF at around 15 months or so and they still wake up usually we take turns putting the baby back down but he does a better job at it hehe. Twins I'm sure are more challenging but if you need the help and he can help you just have to communicate that to him. However you cut it the sleep deprivation just sucks and I feel like (esp. if you are breastfeeding and no one else can feed the baby) the woman gets the brunt of it at least initially.

Does your husband...

Nope. DH had to get up for work and I BF. There wasn't much he could do anyway. I hope he would help if we had twins and bottles, but idk how much he would. He's gone all day and is ready to fall asleep when he gets home. He is more helpful on the weekends as the babies get older.

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For overnight we'd both get up, or if one of us was really exhausted, then the other person would. Sometimes we'd be up a while with him during the night so there's no way I would have been able to do that every night myself (I know a lot of women do & I give you a lot of credit). My younger ds I would bf at night so sometimes dh would hear him first & just go in his room, get him & wake me up so I could feed him, then when I was done either dh or I or both of us would hang out with him until he was ready to go back in his bassinet. I'm talking about when he was a new newborn & didn't sleep much at night. When he got a little older & woke up just once or twice during the night to bf & go right back to sleep, dh never got up, I just got up myself as soon as I heard him.

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I always took night duty since I was breastfeeding. DH was very hands on though when he was home and on weekends.

I learned my lesson with my 2 older kids. I plan to have night help with this 3rd child. Whether it is paid or family help, I want at least one night of sleep per week.

Between my two boys, I don't think I got a good night sleep for like 4 years.

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My DH is amazing with our daughter but he didn't get up to feed her overnight. He would have if I asked him too but I was EBF so it was easier to get up and nurse her than to get up and have to pump anyway. I wouldn't have been able to maintain a supply when I went back to work if I just slept at night and didn't nurse and/or pump. We started bed sharing when she was a little bigger so I just had to roll over on my side to nurse and not actually get up. I was still a zombie for almost 2 years (she started STTN at 22 months). Now that she STTN, we take turns sleeping in on the weekends. I usually get up with her on Saturdays and he will get up with her on Sundays.

HOWEVER, you have twins. That's a game changer. I would demand he starts helping you, or at the very least, get a night nurse.

Does your husband...

We split nights into shifts. My ds never slept so we had to take shifts. I have to say my DH has his flaws but her is an amazing dad.

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DH never got up. I am the primary caregiver. He is the fun one

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DH knew since we were TTC, he would be getting up too I was miserably sick and had no sleep for 9 months, once baby was out, it was his turn lol . our babies were all very fussy and up much of the night . From very early on , I supplemented and eventually moved to formula. I can't imagine being on my own every night, I couldn't and frankly didn't want to do it alone. We both got up with baby for the first few months. We were very paranoid about falling asleep w baby.
With twins, your DH needs to get up or hire a night time helper.

Does your husband...

I cannot function well if I am sleep deprived so we made a deal that he would do the overnights and then on the weekends I would wake up early and take care of my DS so he could sleep in. My DH can function on 4 hrs of sleep I need at least 6-7. I know I am super spoiled but it works for our situation.

Does your husband...

My DH never helped with any overnight feedings, whether while I was on maternity leave or once I went back to work full time at 12 weeks.

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I was always stay at home mom and I did all the middle of the night feedings. What we did do when things were bad thou was I would go to sleep around 8 and he would do the 10/11 o'clock feeding and then I would get the next one at 2 or so. That way I would at least get one 6 hour stretch. Then I usually would get another few hours before the first morning feeding. That helped tremendously.

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My DH would always get up and heat the bottle

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umm,.. vent away.




Not sure you want to hear the other side so I won't go into detail. But yes, my hubby helped. Always. He let me sleep, period. I'll just stop there.

How about thinking of it this way. It won't be forever. Hang in there!

Does your husband...

When I was on maternity leave I handled all of the overnights. Once I went back to work if the baby got up and I was working the next day (and my husband was home---- he worked overnights so most nights he was not) we would take turns. BUT when I was on maternity leave that also meant that when he got home he would take care of the baby for a little so that I could get out of the house for a little or rest.

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we have always done 50/50 even when my husband was on rotating shifts.

Re: Does your husband...

Does your husband...

DH has a very odd schedule and isn't home much at night so he never helped at night when he was home. I don't have twins but if I did I would deff ask him for help.

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yes but like most men it was on his terms and when he felt like it.

Re: Does your husband...

My husband did NOT get up with the kids when they were newborns, when I was home on maternity leave, NOR when I went back to work full time.

In fact, 7.5 years later, getting up with the kids still falls on me, no matter how tired I am, how sick I am, how stressed I am at work, how important of a meeting I have at work the next day, or how many consecutive nights in a row I've had to get up for whatever reason.

In 7 years, my DH has had to take care of my youngest exactly 2x. Both of which I was violently ill and throwing up with a stomach virus.

I'm bitter about it when I'm tired. Now it's just our family dynamic. I've accepted it.

But so help him if he asked me to clean or cook or go food shopping or take out the garbage on those days where I was up all night.